GospelS

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The Bible teaches that some of Davids best soldiers were loners.

God designs some animals to travel in packs. Others, by design will live alone. Likewise for men/ Many of the prophets were alone. Nothing wrong with either as long as its God's design for you. I love my solitude as well.

Yes, as long as it’s God’s design for each of us. But it’s a different thing if someone strongly dislikes having people around them because that’s more kind of growing towards hating people. Some have antisocial personality disorder/sociopathy. It might be an uncomfortable feeling but if people happen to encounter by chance and stay close, then we must choose to love them regardless. To love is a commandment and to recluse willingly forever for no good reason is trying to escape and being selfish. Those people will also tend to disobey if God asks them to meet someone, help someone or brings someone to them because they cannot stand anyone or live among/with others. They want a separate palace where only they can enjoy and have everything to themselves irrespective of what’s going around just like the three people who ignored to care the injured person in Luke 10 until the good Samaratin came along. My dad wanted to be solitude and left his family with no care provided. He has no right to choose his solitude when family needs him. He must instead learn to love and deal with us. Nevertheless, by God’s grace I will endure.
 
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High Fidelity

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I know what you mean. I don't want kids. I am 31 this year, my career is doing great and I am starting a business. I feel like I am past the point where kids would fit in my life and plans now and I am totally fine with that.

It's hard to find someone that's a) compatible and b) doesn't want kids.
 
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GospelS

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Thats kinda my views on things too. FOr a long time, I didnt want kids. THen now I have a warmer feeling about, BUT I'm pretty sure there's a lot of tribulation coming this way, and well, if God tells me to bring a child into this world, I would oblige, and happily so, but not everyone are to be saved, while we are to share the Gospel with all of creation, we also have the commandment to let what is unholy remain unholy. I dunno, a kid these days would 100% have to be homeschooled. The sick things I was taught at school, the freaks I had to be around.. They gave me hardcore inappropriate contentography when I was 8 or 9!
WHether you have one or not, one thing is for certain, this world is certainly no place for children.

I’d rather choose adopting some orphans if I can than having my own. They are already born and in desperate need of love and grace and everything.
 
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Martyr's Crown

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I’d rather choose adopting some orphans if I can than having my own. They are already born and in desperate need of love and grace and everything.

That's a very noble act to be doing. I am sure of that if God puts this in your heart to be doing this, then He will also help and provide for you everything you need to know when taking care of this child/these children.
 
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bèlla

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I’m a little older than you but I share your sentiments. While I’m open to marrying at some point, I have no desire for children or adopting. I have an adult child and feel that season has passed.

More importantly, I’m happiest living out my purpose even if it requires me to walk alone or do so for a time. The joy and peace I have today have no comparison. And it is honestly my first love. I haven’t been called to singleness but I’m content nonetheless.
 
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Tom 1

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If you get married, you might change your mind.

However, there are many worse things than being unmarried. One of them is marrying the wrong person.

Not that I disagree with you, but Tolkein's take on the idea of marrying 'the wrong person' is interesting:

“When the glamour wears off, or merely works a bit thin, they think they have made a mistake, and that the real soul-mate is still to find. . . And of course they are as a rule quite right: they did make a mistake. Only a very wise man at the end of his life could make a sound judgment concerning whom, amongst the total chances, he ought most profitably to have married! Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might have found more suitable mates. But the 'real soul-mate' is the one you are actually married to.”
 
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Follower3

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Not that I disagree with you, but Tolkein's take on the idea of marrying 'the wrong person' is interesting:

Eh..... I dunno, there is marrying the wrong person, and then there is marrying TOTALLY THE WRONG PERSON! I see people who should just never have been married to each other.
 
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Tom 1

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Eh..... I dunno, there is marrying the wrong person, and then there is marrying TOTALLY THE WRONG PERSON! I see people who should just never have been married to each other.

Maybe so, but the challenges faced in marriage are one of the biggest (and most intense/difficult) catalysts for change. I think a lot of the time it's not about compatibility but rather people digging their heels in and refusing to accept that.
 
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~Anastasia~

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A lot of people seem to have the idea that there is a "perfect person" for them, and think that with this person, marriage will be happy and smooth and easy. Maybe some influence from fairy tales, romance novels, and/or Hollywood?

The truth is, marriage is always hard and at some points especially hard, and requires work and commitment. The partner's willingness to work with you has a lot to do with how it will be experienced. But such intimate relationships always have difficult places.

Not that it isn't/can't be rewarding as well - hopefully very much so. But people shouldn't expect a perfect bed of roses.

I guess my point was to agree ... it's not "the perfect person" so much as it is a mature view of marriage and the willingness of both persons to love the other (in word and deed, putting the other's good above their own - not a sentimental feeling) - that has much more to do with how well a marriage goes.
 
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GenemZ

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If you want to find the right one? You must first become the right one for the other. Grow in grace and knowledge.... Seek ye first his righteousness.... And, it will be added onto you. You will find the right one. That is, if God wants you to marry.

Many more than we realize may have married their "right one." But, because they failed to desire to mature in Christ first, by submitting to growing in grace and sound doctrine? God allowed them to reap what they sowed.

When you mature in Christ in sound doctrine having abundance? You then begin to reap what God has sown. Otherwise, we will only reap what we sow.

God is not flexible with reality. Its either His righteousness He sees in us being animated. Or, its us being left to our own thinking to make mistakes as to inflict upon ourselves self induced misery.

We reap what we sow. Those who learn to mature in Christ, reap what God sows. Blessings.
 
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Follower3

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A lot of people seem to have the idea that there is a "perfect person" for them, and think that with this person, marriage will be happy and smooth and easy. Maybe some influence from fairy tales, romance novels, and/or Hollywood?

The truth is, marriage is always hard and at some points especially hard, and requires work and commitment. The partner's willingness to work with you has a lot to do with how it will be experienced. But such intimate relationships always have difficult places.

Not that it isn't/can't be rewarding as well - hopefully very much so. But people shouldn't expect a perfect bed of roses.

I guess my point was to agree ... it's not "the perfect person" so much as it is a mature view of marriage and the willingness of both persons to love the other (in word and deed, putting the other's good above their own - not a sentimental feeling) - that has much more to do with how well a marriage goes.

Trust me, compatibility / chemistry is a thing. Try doing all that you said with the WRONG ABSOLUTE WRONG person. It's foolish to think otherwise, otherwise why not just go marry anyone? Lets have random arranged marriages, draw straws and see who your future spouse is.
 
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Trust me, compatibility / chemistry is a thing. Try doing all that you said with the WRONG ABSOLUTE WRONG person. It's foolish to think otherwise, otherwise why not just go marry anyone? Lets have random arranged marriages, draw straws and see who your future spouse is.
Yes, chemistry is a thing, but it figures more in initial stages of attraction.

A good marriage over many decades requires commitment and unselfish love in action.

Fireworks, chemistry, and all of that can come and go - especially when someone gets sick, when tragedy strikes, during lean years, and so on.
 
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J Daniel

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You might feel different if you have a great spiritual connection with that man.

But if kids are not on your field of vision then fine - cos many people don't bother with children!

Hi,

I’m 31, never married and never been in a relationship. I keeping celibate because I’m not wanting to have children. I love kids but I’m not too passionate about bearing children. I still desire for a companion with whom I can grow as a Christian. I’m very passionate about God and want to invest my time in prayer, worship, bible study, and helping others. Marriage and children are a great blessing but I might get busy and have very less personal time with God. That’s another reason I like about remaining single. I will marry if and only when I find a man who is a passionate Christian and is okay with having no kids. But there are very very few men who also do not want kids. And, the few men who do not want children are not passionate Christians. So I might end up unmarried for my lifetime, which is fine. Are there anyone in same situation?
 
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MynameisSam

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Hey, that kind of sounds like me. I'm 32, and still do not want to have children. Get married to the right person? Perhaps. Have kids? No. So much so that I may never get married, because, as you say, most committed Christians want to have children. I think most people do in general. So trying to find a single Christian that is my age, and one that doesn't want to have kids is difficult. And that's before we start talking about chemistry and compatability.

But lots of "unlikely" things happen when God is involved. And if God isn't involved, I don't want any part of it anyway.
 
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Strong in Him

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For me... its written.. God said "As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it." So.. to NOT do that so I might get closer to God.. sorry.. God didnt suggest or hint.. it was a command.

To Adam and Eve when they were the only two people alive; yes.
Not to every believer on an already overpopulated world.

If it WAS a command to everyone, then Jesus failed to obey it; therefore he failed to do God's will and sinned. I'm certain you're not suggesting that.
 
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Strong in Him

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Hi,

I’m 31, never married and never been in a relationship. I keeping celibate because I’m not wanting to have children. I love kids but I’m not too passionate about bearing children. I still desire for a companion with whom I can grow as a Christian. I’m very passionate about God and want to invest my time in prayer, worship, bible study, and helping others. Marriage and children are a great blessing but I might get busy and have very less personal time with God. That’s another reason I like about remaining single. I will marry if and only when I find a man who is a passionate Christian and is okay with having no kids. But there are very very few men who also do not want kids. And, the few men who do not want children are not passionate Christians. So I might end up unmarried for my lifetime, which is fine. Are there anyone in same situation?

I'm not in the same situation, since I'm married; but I have no kids. It is possible for 2 Christians to marry and not have children.
May God bless you in your life choices and your desire to serve him. If he has someone for you and later desires that you marry; he'll show you.
 
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