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Marriage Advice

Discussion in 'Married Couples' started by SHILPA, May 10, 2017.

  1. SHILPA

    SHILPA New Member

    2
    +4
    India
    Christian
    Married
    Hi there. I wanted some advice on my marriage. I want to take divorce from my husband but he's not ready to give me. All he says is he wants me. I dont understand what for he needs me when he never loves me. because of his family i lost my mom. my mother in law dislikes me for nothing and never cared for me or my 7months old daugther. all she cares for is her elder son and his children. my husband aunt abused my parents and ill treated me before i was even married to him. knowing all this he never supported me or told his parents about it and my mom being a diabetic patient couldnt take all this and passed away. (my marriage is an arranged one).
    i never shared any emotional or physical bond with my husband. in the beginning it was his online games, friends and movies. when ever i asked him to spend time with me all he says he's tired. but for his friends no matter what time he gets a call he use to go. and now when i ask him to spend time he says work or am concentrating on one thing i cannot on too many at ones. when i am in trouble he is never there for me. when i had a c-section his mom was rude to me saying that i have to get up and do my things on my own when it was just one day i underwent a surgery. i told this to my husband about it and he took her side blaming my dad saying he was never there. how can i ask my dad to take to the washroom and help me out there? things never ending there every time i meet them she insults or hurts me. when i talk about this with my husband he doesnt pay any attention.
    when is comes to our personal life i never experienced loved affection passion nothing. I tired talking to him about this and all he has to tell is is doesnt know all this and he's this was cant help.
    HE DOESNT SUPPORT ME. HE DOESNT CARE FOR ME. HE DOESNT GIVE TIME FOR ME. HE DOESNT STAND FOR ME.

    If i tired to defend myself i am bad by doing so. if i ask him to stand for me he doesnt open his mouth. i needed some help from him. he has no time except his office work. i feel sick being with him.

    i just want to get rid of him. i want to live my life on my own with my daughter.

    (p.s. throughout my pregnancy his mom tortured me for a boy soo much that i almost felt like disowning the baby if it was a boy. i tired being normal saying either of them is fine. or i want girl anything he use to yell at me saying boy.)

    even then my husband never stood for me.
     
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  2. live4Christ2016

    live4Christ2016 Member

    117
    +73
    Australia
    Non-Denom
    Married
    US-Republican
    I'm so sorry for the way you feel in your marriage. This makes me sad that he and his family treat you so badly. Is your husband and his family Christians or believers?
    Praying for you.
     
  3. YodaMama

    YodaMama New Member

    36
    +14
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Good question, have either of you asked Jesus Christ into your lives, to forgive you of your sins and be the Lord of your lives. Do you have a church to go to? Do you have any fellowship with other Believer's? Do you spend time in the Bible? Sounds like these things may be missing from your marriage. Divorce isn't an option for neglect, but you could go and live with your dad for awhile...telling your husband that you need a time of separation, and take your child with you.
     
  4. JRichard68

    JRichard68 There is too much butter on those trays

    215
    +139
    Canada
    Lutheran
    Divorced
    You will get all kinds of opinions here about whether divorce is or is not an option for you. And almost everyone will say that their advice is based on the bible. Everyone here has their own way they read and have been taught about what the bible says. But don't let someone's opinion convince you that it's not an option for you. Sometimes, people stay in harmful situations because they think they should, or they're obligated to. We are not here to tell you what to do or not to do. That is for you to decide.

    Do you have a Pastor or attend a church that can help you? That would be a good place to get some advice. A separation might also be a good idea (as has been suggested) so you can think about what to do next.
     
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  5. YodaMama

    YodaMama New Member

    36
    +14
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Agreed, and Biblically divorce is hated by God but He allows it in the case of unrepentant adultery or if abandoned by the spouse (they leave and never come back). But also, whether one divorces or not, you "MUST" separate if being abused in any fashion (particularly physically).
     
  6. sdmsanjose

    sdmsanjose Regular Member

    +357
    Christian
    Married
    Take your child and go live with your father and write your husband a note telling him what the situation is and why you are staying with your father. Tell your husband that you both need to have a Christian professional counselor help you both. You both need to have your spirits touched in different ways.
     
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