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twistedsketch said:Ah, but he wasn't perfect. I want to know what made Christ Himself tick.
I'd have to delve into his writings to determine that. He did some good things, but was tainted like the rest of us.LOVEthroughINTELLECT said:I believe I have been misunderstood.
I too want to know what made Jesus tick. I am simply saying that when I think of an example of a mortal man who most modeled that behavior I think of Martin Luther King, Jr.
twistedsketch said:I'd have to delve into his writings to determine that.
No it won't automatically fall into place. The church has encouraged men to be soft, and when it comes to being masculine hasn't been that good at giving us guidance. All of CCM and the Christian bookstores themselves cater primarily to women. Most Bible studies (with the exception of the one I frequent) have far more women than they do men.knownbeforetime said:Don't y'all think that if a man is Godly, then the rest should fall into place? I like masculinity but it shouldn't be a guy's first priority. It shouldn't be his idol.
This is what my friend thinks is lacking in his life: that he's not a 'manly' man. I told him not to worry about that. Be a Godly man with Godly masculine qualities (i.e. provider, protector, etc.).
twistedsketch said:What stands out most to me is his boldness and conviction. But that's just coming from someone who hasn't really STUDIED him.
LOVEthroughINTELLECT said:I get it. When Christian women say that they want to marry a "Godly man" they are saying that they want to marry a role.
Well, I am not a role. I am a person.
And I don't relate to roles. I prefer to relate to people.
knownbeforetime said:Don't y'all think that if a man is Godly, then the rest should fall into place?
knownbeforetime said:I like masculinity but it shouldn't be a guy's first priority. It shouldn't be his idol.
intricatic said:lol Expectations are natural things in relationships. You can't have a relationship without some kind of expectations, and without having some kind of expectation for the other person involved. Roles in relationships are very important, not because of some arbitrary and impersonal thing, but because the roles themselves are defined by who a person is. That's what compatibility is all about. Afterall, I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't enjoy the things I enjoy, or didn't compliment me the same way I should hope to compliment them. You take away roles in relationships and it becomes almost pointless to even date someone. Might as well go marry the first person you see walking down the street.
knownbeforetime said:Someone told me they wanted to be a 'manly' man. I got to thinking about this and how ridiculous it sounds.
little_tigress said:...I don't think there is any reason to take offense when a woman says she wants to meet a 'manly man' whatever her definition of such may be. Its her right to decide what qualities she wants in a partner
Likewise I can't really take offense when I see or hear a guy talk about wanting a 'girly girl' for a wife, whatever his definition of girly girl may be. I don't see how it takes away from my identity or my individuaity if I should happen to fit that guys personal definition of a 'girly girl'. I would still be the somewhat strange girl I have always been
It's not really objectifying, unless they're getting into graphic conversation, then I would say thats objectifying. But deciding the qualities I want in my future hubby is not what I would consider objectifying. I would actually be surprised to meet even one person who didn't have some idea of what qualities or characteristics they would like to see in their future spouse.
I expect the person that I want to be with to want to be with me, and I expect that person to be able to relate to me, and enjoy the things that I enjoy. If they do not meet those expectations, then I do not want to be with them. I also expect them to meet a certain criteria in regards to how they live and the things that they want out of life.LOVEthroughINTELLECT said:I think you are confusing expectations with ideals. Ideals can be a valuable guide in making choices. But expectations can limit choices. And when we base choices on expectations we set ourselves up for disappointment.
And expectations make a horrible basis for relating to people. The fact is that probably 90% of the time people are not going to meet our expectations. That may be overestimating, but everybody gets the idea.
Expectations are at best motivators and regulators, I would say. We set expectations to regulate our behavior. Consumers expect cars to last, therefore automobile manufacturers try to make cars that meet those expectations. But both the consumer and the manufacturer are realistic enough to know that not everybody's expectations will be met. Therefore, buyers brace themselves for the possibility of having to trade a car in after all warranties have run out, manufacturers brace themselves to withstand bad public relations if a new model does not meet expectations, etc., etc. And expectations motivate us. There are all kinds of things that motivate us. Physical security probably motivates us more than anything. Sometimes the threat of losing my physical security is the only thing that gets me out of bed to go to work. But other times it is my or other people's expectations that motivate me. For example, I expect myself to have perfect attendance. Therefore, I am motivated to never miss work.
:: Starlight :: said:I'm not masculine, and I'm not feminine... I'm just myself and I don't understand why some people realy like to put others in a box by stereotyping them. Everyone's unique and we should celebrate the diversity instead of trying to make all men masculine and all women feminine.
Silver Speak said:I'm not stereotyping; gender is gender. There is no neutral. I do expect certain things of a certain gender.
It's my personal preference I don't end up with a guy who loves to paint his nails. If that leaves me lonely for the rest of my life (which I doubt), so be it.. I'd rather be alone than shiver every time my man enters the room with full make-up on his face
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