Male Accountability Thread

[DiscipleOfChrist85]

Thank you for your thoughtful response I never thought my issues in such a way. I have a lot to think and pray about.

 

[DiscipleOfChrist85]

Hi, thank you for your thoughtful post and the resources you provided. I have been struggling with inappropriate content for most of my life and I was thankful for your post. It moved a pretty big burden off of me and I'm grateful to you and God for that. If I had to be honest, I think it was indeed both my curiosity and my experiences that lead me to be a feeder which given the family I was raised in, just meant that I wanted to nurture and be nurtured and since all the most important people I knew in my formative years where fat, naturally I wanted and still want to be fat. The problem was the culture I live in shuns not only fat people but also discussing sexuality especially in the church and I think that is a mistake.
I knew that watch inappropriate content was wrong and I'm in the process of turning away from that stuff but I realize now that sexuality is a gift from God and mine involves nurturing and I guess I can find some peace knowing and understanding that.

 

[st831]

Hi, thank you for your thoughtful post and the resources you provided. I have been struggling with inappropriate content for most of my life and I was thankful for your post. It moved a pretty big burden off of me and I'm grateful to you and God for that. If I had to be honest, I think it was indeed both my curiosity and my experiences that lead me to be a feeder which given the family I was raised in, just meant that I wanted to nurture and be nurtured and since all the most important people I knew in my formative years where fat, naturally I wanted and still want to be fat. The problem was the culture I live in shuns not only fat people but also discussing sexuality especially in the church and I think that is a mistake.
I knew that watch inappropriate content was wrong and I'm in the process of turning away from that stuff but I realize now that sexuality is a gift from God and mine involves nurturing and I guess I can find some peace knowing and understanding that.

Very insightful, man. I have found that when I remember that Jesus died to take away my shame and the pain of my sinful nature, I can look at the topic without that filter of guilt...then, God can begin to help me see the actual problem. Satan would rather us live in shame and never be free of it. sexuality and nurturing are both two very Godly things. When you approach them from His perspective, he can help you get it in line. Life is hard, people are mean, usually because they are ashamed and hiding their own sin. But. God is lovingly patient!

 

[DiscipleOfChrist85]

But would got be upset if I got fatter ? Thats the question.

 

[st831]

We were never holding Him up...so we can't let Him down. Our sin doesn't make him any less God - Just as our obedience doesn't make him any more God. His laws and commands are for our good. I guess the question is, if you got fatter, would that affect your ability to do more for God's Kingdom here on earth.

 

[DiscipleOfChrist85]

Honestly probably not, after much reflection and some prayer on the matter, I have to come to realize that God loves me no matter how fat I'am and no matter how fat I get. Our bodies are temples and we are all fearfully and wonderfully made and God isn't to love me any less because I'm fat. That is not to say that I shouldn't take care of myself because I should if anything it further motivates me to take better care of myself because I live for him.
Obviously I don't want to be a glutton and my weight and sexuality shouldn't be an idol and they aren't. So long as that is the case then it shouldn't be an issue in the end as life can get messy and our bodies, minds and circumstances can change and who knows a couple of years from now I might be a twig and two more years from now I might be a beef cake or as big as a house.
The point is my body belongs and is loved by my creator and I should simple take care of the temple and not worry about these things.

 

[EpiscopalMan]

If you are a gentleman who is dealing with sexual addiction, masturbation, inappropriate contentography, gay lifestyle changes, etc., and re needing accountability in getting through this, please make a post to share how you would like accountability, and then post here daily or as often as needed. This is where gentlemen can provide encouragement and accountability to each other. Ladies, you may want to help, but we'd ask that you spend your time in prayer for those in this thread.

 

[EpiscopalMan]

I would like to find an accountability partner or group of men to help me break the cycle of inappropriate content and masturbation that I find myself in. I know I can't go cold turkey. I'd like to find someone who has gone through the process to help me along.

 

[zluck39]

I have been trying to escape inappropriate content for 10 years and have gone from six to seven times a day, for most of my adult life, to once every week on average, once for as long as a year. I was only every trying to quit when I started my search for God. I was a unitarian until one and a half years ago and tried unsuccessfully to quit through preventative measures alone, but I repented of my sin and pleaded for help at the same time that I began accepting Jesus and the Spirit as God after which the desire to watch inappropriate content left me for about a year, during which I was apart from my wife (who moved abroad ahead of our migration) and focused solely on God.

After moving back to be with my wife and kid, the urge came back and I started to stumble again. I have so many walls built up around me like accountability software that I am no longer able to access inappropriate content on my own devices and would not touch my family devices. Recently, my wife left her laptop at home and as soon as the house was empty (I was working from home on that day) I picked up her computer and watched inappropriate content. It was like it was automatic. This happened on my own devices before I figured out a way to stay clear based on my triggers.

I was watching a video by Paul Washer, who, even though I am not a Calvinist, I love dearly as a pastor. In the video, he dismissed the notion of people who say they struggle, something that surprised me because most Calvinists I know believe that Romans 7: 14-25 is about Paul's battle AS a Christian, not in reflection on a previous life. He said that he was tired of hearing Christian who say they struggle with inappropriate content and that a mature Christian should not have that issue. I am approaching 50 and I know I am not mature, but I do not feel anywhere close to not having an issue. I was wondering if anyone thinks I am not hearing Washer correctly:

I am starting to doubt that I have saving faith and am proceeding to act as though I do not because it at least means that God might eventually accept me. Maybe I am, if regeneration precedes faith, still being regenerated. If I am saved, maybe I am slowly being sanctified. I can believe with no trouble that salvation can be a lifelong process, but I still worry that maybe I am not yet saved. Does anyone have any advice here? Maybe the fear I have is part of sanctification. Do you think that is possible?

Blessings

J

 

[st831]

I have been trying to escape inappropriate content for 10 years and have gone from six to seven times a day, for most of my adult life, to once every week on average, once for as long as a year. I was only every trying to quit when I started my search for God. I was a unitarian until one and a half years ago and tried unsuccessfully to quit through preventative measures alone, but I repented of my sin and pleaded for help at the same time that I began accepting Jesus and the Spirit as God after which the desire to watch inappropriate content left me for about a year, during which I was apart from my wife (who moved abroad ahead of our migration) and focused solely on God.

After moving back to be with my wife and kid, the urge came back and I started to stumble again. I have so many walls built up around me like accountability software that I am no longer able to access inappropriate content on my own devices and would not touch my family devices. Recently, my wife left her laptop at home and as soon as the house was empty (I was working from home on that day) I picked up her computer and watched inappropriate content. It was like it was automatic. This happened on my own devices before I figured out a way to stay clear based on my triggers.

I was watching a video by Paul Washer, who, even though I am not a Calvinist, I love dearly as a pastor. In the video, he dismissed the notion of people who say they struggle, something that surprised me because most Calvinists I know believe that Romans 7: 14-25 is about Paul's battle AS a Christian, not in reflection on a previous life. He said that he was tired of hearing Christian who say they struggle with inappropriate content and that a mature Christian should not have that issue. I am approaching 50 and I know I am not mature, but I do not feel anywhere close to not having an issue. I was wondering if anyone thinks I am not hearing Washer correctly:

I am starting to doubt that I have saving faith and am proceeding to act as though I do not because it at least means that God might eventually accept me. Maybe I am, if regeneration precedes faith, still being regenerated. If I am saved, maybe I am slowly being sanctified. I can believe with no trouble that salvation can be a lifelong process, but I still worry that maybe I am not yet saved. Does anyone have any advice here? Maybe the fear I have is part of sanctification. Do you think that is possible?

Blessings

J

i dont think you would be here asking if God wasnt working on u. im the same age and married but still deal as well. But i dont doubt that im saved and I know God is still working on me.

 

[doctorwho29]

I slipped badly tonight online. I set up a new account on a website that isn't good for me. The forums and chats feed right into my same sex attraction struggles. I'm feeling convicted but I don't want to leave. It felt good to interact with guys on there and have my comments get "likes." I have a lot in my head I guess and I don't know what else to share. I'm amazed I've shared what I have (and I hope it's alright to share. I may have misunderstood this thread) Prayers for wisdom and strength appreciated. Thanks.

 

[st831]

I slipped badly tonight online. I set up a new account on a website that isn't good for me. The forums and chats feed right into my same sex attraction struggles. I'm feeling convicted but I don't want to leave. It felt good to interact with guys on there and have my comments get "likes." I have a lot in my head I guess and I don't know what else to share. I'm amazed I've shared what I have (and I hope it's alright to share. I may have misunderstood this thread) Prayers for wisdom and strength appreciated. Thanks.

Hey man, I understand. Remember, this is part of your journey you aren't at the destination. Satan would have you live under shame and guilt which will always lead you back to your lust. But, learn to glory in the Cross, and the forgiveness it offers. the more you celebrate that, the less mind space you give the enemy. But flesh is always waiting to rear it's head when we are tired weak or distracted. I have a few years on you and struggle in similar ways. When I stand before God, I fully realize, my only defense is Jesus. In my weakness He is made strong.

 

[Progressing Pilgrim]

Hello brothers!

I struggled with inappropriate content, fetishes (one in particular), and masturbation along with fantasies since I was 12 or 13. When I was 25 I surrendered my life to Christ, and other than once or twice in the early days I have been mostly free of this addiction for over a decade. But lately I have been finding myself toying with things I shouldn't toy with - it started with online dating sites, which aren't wrong on their own, but it became somewhat obsessive and is tending towards me browsing photos and videos on social media sites. I tell myself that I'm just looking for a spouse who shares my interests by checking out what they're sharing. But the "interests" I search for are more like fetishes, and it's like I'm circling the drain now. Really, when I describe it, the shift from traditional online dating sites to looking for random women who post pictures and videos online sounds obviously stupid, but at the time I don't seem to think clearly about it.

So I need some prayer, and some accountability. My boundaries will be to limit my online dating attempts to only Christian dating sites, and to limit the time I spend on those.

So, first update will be tonight. I'll count tonight as a failure: browsing instagram, tumblr, and youtube with keywords related to my "interest". Clicking away from what seemed obviously inappropriate, but probably just kidding myself most of the time and making excuses to keep toying with sin. I was looking to be titillated. Ugh. Feeling some shame and anxiety now. I don't want to go back to this

 

[RileyG]

Hello all! I hope you are all doing well

 

[RedeemedtoManhood]

So basically you already have read of my Testimony where I use the video of Vladimir Savchuk, Isaiah Saldivar and their two other friends where I actively join their Deliverance against the evil spirits of lust, homosexuality and others. In Jesus' Name. It truly works!!!

But let me give you an update.

Brothers, could you please pray for me?

So I've had this "cold war" with my inconsiderate neighbors for almost 4 years now. They are noisy people, even at night. They are inconsiderate. I've talked with them personally and even in front of the Homeowner's Association and the Organization higher than this. They allow their children to play in the streets and their noise disturbs me as well, not just the grown-ups' noise.

So as I was going to church to meet God, excited and full of joy, they called me "gay" or a more derogatory term, similar to "F-A-G".

I am trying my best not to be hurt, because if we received Jesus as our Savior and Lord, He has given us the ability NEVER to be offended.

But I will admit.. it kinda hurts.... I really do not know why they say I am a "homosexual". I mean, they have not seen me sleeping with men. They have not seen me m-a-s-t-u-r-b---- towards men either. Not to my recollection. Frankly, I do not really know their basis.

If before, I was somewhat effeminate, the Lord God knows that I have been praying for Him to remove my same sex attraction and to MAKE ME MANLY. I constantly ask the Holy Spirit to fill me. If my efforts to act manly are lacking, I am sorry about this, but the truth is, I am exerting efforts towards this. The Lord eventually has given me a Girlfriend, a future wife, who is a Believer.

There's some hurt, I admit, if I will allow. They were calling me a "F-A-G" because essentially, they are enraged that I point out to them that what they are doing is not right, is not considerate, and a Homeowner actually sided with me in public. I guess they are enraged that they wouldn't be able to laugh and revel at midnight and at sleeping hours...

Please, brethren, help me. What should I do.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Hello all! I hope you are all doing well

I'm surprised to see you posting in this section, Riley.

 

[RileyG]

I'm surprised to see you posting in this section, Riley.

We all struggle. Don’t be surprised.

 

[david_c]

I have been dealing with several addictions for well over 30 years, among them M and P. I joined an online Christian group that was set up to help men work through sexual addictions but I feel a bit left out because the other brothers are opposite sex attracted while I am not so it's double whammy for me.

One of the key points is accountability and I am really struggling with that. I have no idea how to find accountability partners and I am not keen on exploring this at a church because of past experiences. I am a bit of a hermit when it comes to talking and engaging with people so there's that too.

Not sure if there are any brothers out there with pointers.