Multi-Elis said:
I'd like to raise this issue: what if touching caressing and kissing, were to arrouse you, and get you emotional to the point where you lost your rational thinking, I mean what if you do it to the wrong person, to a person you will regret doing this to if you break up?
I'm having a little bit of a hard time discerning your exact argument.
If one is the kind of person that can be "overcome" with emotions--note that this is a cop-out, there is no travail which avails the power of Christ--then one should avoid situations that make one overly emotional. Of course, this would include physical closeness with ones significant other. If one does not struggle with emotions and is confidently walking in God's will, then I fail to see how this creates a problem.
On your second point, I'm a little more fuzzy. Are you saying that we should avoid being physical simply because we might end up breaking up? I'm not sure how I would regret hugging, holding, or kissing a girlfriend, simply because we broke up. I'd be extremely guilty and regretful if I had slept with her, though (perhaps thinking that we'd get married, for instance).
Multi-Elis said:
And what if you know that kissing and touching will arouse you, so doing so would be a delibrate choise... like masterbuting, or delibrately looking at something else that arouses you?
Then it becomes lust, and thus, sinful. If you cannot avoid lusting as a result of physical closeness (whether it arouses you or not), then you should avoid it completely. I might also further encourage you to explore with God why your emotions so strongly manipulate you. It's unhealthy for born-again Christians to be slaves to their emotions. 1 John 3:20 says,
"And beloved, if our heart deceives us, know that God is greater than our hearts and knows all things."
Multi-Elis said:
Are there other ways to show respect, affection and give the other a feeling of significance, without running the risk of it turning into lust?
Of course. Saying nice things, giving gifts, doing favors, etc. All these things relate respect, affection and give the other a feeling of significance. They rarely result in lustful feelings as well. But just remember that lust is a personal sin. It is a result of a person's weakness. In particular, succumbing to their sinful nature.
Stumbling with lust is indicative of a more peculiar problem with the person, rather than their environment. True, it is difficult to endure in situations where temptation is great. For instance, it would be hard to resist lust if a dozen gorgeous members of the opposite sex suddenly threw themselves at you. But either way you look at it, the sin is still a personal rebellion against God, no matter what the circumstances. I think we get away from this fact too much. We try to rationalize our sins by attributing it to a "sinful environment," or "too much temptation." Sin is sin. It doesn't matter if you are assaulted with the highest order of temptation you can stand by the devil himself. God commands that you resist in accordance with His will and failing to do so is inexcusible (not unforgivable, of course).
Multi-Elis said:
Is delibrately looking for arousal wrong?
That's a pretty grey area. I'd say yes, though. Deliberating looking for
personal arousal to satisfy your own carnal needs would certainly qualify as lustful in my book; however, if you're trying to equate physical contact that has the potential to cause physical arousal with lust through this post hoc argument, then it falls short.
Multi-Elis said:
As for song of solomon, it seems as if the story is talking more of a beautiful girl who likes her friend from the country side, and at the same time the king is in love with her, and takes her to his palace, and she then realises that she is actually in love with her friend from the country side, she tries to explain this to the king, as reasons for her not marrying the king, and so she runs away, and at the end she and her beloved are together, and they say: Solomon has many vineyards, with many people to whom he leases it (many wives, and many women to pick from) but we have our own little vineyard, just for ourselves to work in.
The point is: you can't force somebody to marry somebody when you are in love with somebody else, so either just don't awaken love untill you have found the right person, or else don't force marry people.
Your point deprives the Song of Solomon of so much joy. To take it as a dry treatise on the concept of following your heart with regards to marriage is an ill-conceived argument at best, especially when you consider the time and cultural view on marriage of the time. Most marriages in Solomon's time were arranged. That means you were betrothed to your husband or wife typically well before you were even thinking about a spouse. And we can hardly help but "awaken" love until we've found the right person. Our emotions are pretty well out of our control. You can't help but feel the way you feel.
I think that intrepretation deprives the reader of the wonder of relating to the Shulamite and her Beloved. The experience of love and infatuation is profound. It is a God-given gift that has been instilled in us that He may be glorified by it. Just as Christ gave Himself completely for the church, so the husband should give himself completely for his bride. He should love her with Christ's love, an undying, unconditional, unfailing love. Our desire for Christ should be mirrored in our desire for our spouse. I can only speak for myself, but my love for my Savior is desperate and deep. I can't fathom loving anyone else with that level of intensity, but I am confident that God will bring me a woman deserving of it.
That's the promise of love that God has given us. Don't deny it! Delight in it! Praise God that he has not made us unfeeling droids, warding away all emotions and physical contact lest we fall. Instead, if we are truly confident in our commitment to Christ, we should open our hearts to the gift that God bestows upon us. Take joy in your significant other. God has given them to you that you might experience the joyous feelings that come there with. So long as you always put God first, you shall never fail the test.
