Low sex drive--check list

[tall73]

A couple of things I think should be on the list include obesity - not just loss of attraction to an obese spouse, but rather excess weight can cause lower libido. Additionally, many people struggle with body image when they have excess weight.

Another thing I think very much belongs on the list is the use/misuse of inappropriate content/masturbation. Study after study shows that the more men (studies like this are typically done with men) use inappropriate content and touch, it affects not only their sense of what is beautiful, but also sets them up to have partners who are unable to fulfill those "needs" (which are not actually needs, since unspent sperm is simply [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] during sleep or reabsorbed into the body. inappropriate content and masturbation affects men's ability to achieve adequate erection, and may become unable altogether, without the use of medications at a very young age. As well, when a husband uses inappropriate content, it very often makes a wife feel inadequate, incapable, and not good enough. She often wonders if her husband is thinking of her or of the image on the screen. She is often feeling used as an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] receptacle rather than a cherished human being worthy of her husband's fidelity.

Oh... another thing that came to mind is the time it takes. A normal lovemaking session will consist of 10-30 minutes of foreplay, and 7-13 minutes of "sex" (in any activity). Seventeen to 43 minutes is what is "typical" - yet with inappropriate content use, there are often times when men are simply unable to reach [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] within that time.... and three hours later, she is still trying to figure out how to provide him with the touch that will tip the score. In that kind of time, it could feel more like a chore that takes a lot of work that she does not want to do anymore because she's lost the "mood." This can lead to not even wanting to get started, especially if she has a busy life and needs sleep.

So there are three more that can be added to your list.

Thank you. I added obesity. inappropriate content is already on the list. I Added masturbation under other sexual attachments.

 

[tall73]

You included depression, but I'd add mental health issues more broadly (generalised anxiety, PTSD, etc etc). Also stuff to do with pregnancy and childbirth; and if the wife is breastfeeding, that can create both physical and mental/emotional issues.

Thank you. I replaced depression with a mental health bullet point, and included child birth and nursing, etc.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

I Added masturbation under other sexual attachments.

It's bad for the spirit. Usually leads to looking at nasty magazines and movies -- once again bad for the spirit.

If we keep sinning we can destroy the conscience.

M-Bob

 

[mkgal1]

Usually leads to looking at nasty magazines and movies

Tall probably isn't interested in this becoming a debate (nor am I).....but this is a slippery slope fallacy (but to keep it on topic - it can be a way to avoid intimacy with a spouse).

 

[EmmaCat]

Maybe something that needs to be stressed here if any couples are dealing with any issues within their relationship and can't work it out, it is best to go to a qualified counselor in real life and not be led astray by any Internet advice.

It is best to get off the computer, find a qualified marital counselor or otherwise certified psychologist and deal with it one-on-one in real life with a qualified professional.

Or go to your pastor.

Don't do the guesswork, if there is an issue, go to someone trained in this in real life.

All good things
Emmy

 

[tall73]

Maybe something that needs to be stressed here if any couples are dealing with any issues within their relationship and can't work it out, it is best to go to a qualified counselor in real life and not be led astray by any Internet advice.

It is best to get off the computer, find a qualified marital counselor or otherwise certified psychologist and deal with it one-on-one in real life with a qualified professional.

Or go to your pastor.

Don't do the guesswork, if there is an issue, go to someone trained in this in real life.

All good things
Emmy

Going to a counselor can certainly help. There often has to be a conversation discussing the problem before everyone is willing to go to a counselor.

Again, this is not an internet fix-all, or a substitute for medical or psychological advice. It is a way to start discussion, leading to finding answers.

if any couples are dealing with any issues within their relationship and can't work it out,

Some couples can work it out once they are aware of the problem, and sometimes looking at possible factors help with that.

Certainly get counseling if you cannot work it out.