Loving your neighbour

Grolsch

Newbie
Jun 23, 2010
20
0
✟7,630.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I am trying to understand how to do this and to what extent we are meant to do this.

I have been bullied both in school and more recently at the workplace. When I think of the individuals responsible I don't feel intense anger, but I just don't know how I can 'love them'. Especially when they continue the bullying and are showing no remorse.

Can anyone help explain?
 

oi_antz

Opposed to Untruth.
Apr 26, 2010
5,696
277
New Zealand
✟7,997.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I am trying to understand how to do this and to what extent we are meant to do this.

I have been bullied both in school and more recently at the workplace. When I think of the individuals responsible I don't feel intense anger, but I just don't know how I can 'love them'. Especially when they continue the bullying and are showing no remorse.

Can anyone help explain?

Bullying is a personality disorder having deep roots in self hurt. Like chooks in the yard, the humans have a pecking order, but it's not necessarily who's strongest, sometimes it's who's dirtiest. It's all based around this natural feel of need, which exploited by greed into sin. These people get a kick of seeing someone get hurt, that's a form of masochism doesn't matter who's on bottom, just pick a straw. It doesn't reflect on you, although it has an major impact on the victim. I remember when my 14yo friend stuck up for me, against this a/wipe who bullied me those years ago. Looking back on him, he was kinda just crying out in all his pain except it was me who felt the pain.. trippy.

You need to mention it to superiors who can force a bit of guilt on them because there's no arguing with the authority. There's a line we draw when we decide to turn the other cheek, I think you gotta just get tough on them, you have more rights than they do in this situation and all your teachers will back you up if you go to them in need of love.

We are praying for angels to protect you from bullies :angel::angel:
 
Upvote 0

DoctorJosh

Active Member
Jun 7, 2010
349
14
United States of America
✟564.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I am trying to understand how to do this and to what extent we are meant to do this.

I have been bullied both in school and more recently at the workplace. When I think of the individuals responsible I don't feel intense anger, but I just don't know how I can 'love them'. Especially when they continue the bullying and are showing no remorse.

Can anyone help explain?


If we are persecuted for being good and doing the right thing, if we are bullied for teaching the Word of God, then Bless them for you are doing what is right and it shows you are doing what God asked. If we are loved by the world we are doing something wrong. We will be hated by the world, we will be hunted down, harassed, persecuted, and bullied.

When people hate us, that means we are doing the right thing. When we are persecuted and hated, that means we did something right. When we are hunted and harassed for teaching the Word, by all means keep doing it for Jesus told us what to expect and don't let that get you down, but be happy about it. Sounds backwards to someone perhaps that don't understand and wants to be liked, but as Christians when we correct others we can expect argument, when we act good in front of others we can expect to be ridiculed and bullied.

Jesus died on the Cross for just being good. He did nothing wrong, but the people didn't want to be corrected, they wanted to live their own evil lives and not have a Son of God telling them they were doing wrong. Of course the full meaning of Jesus being Crucified was more than that, it was the finish of everything Jesus had come to do and thus give us our Salvation.

Yet, we as Christians must shout for joy when we are persecuted for we did something that was right and we know it was when we are tormented and ridiculed by teaching the True Words of Jesus or just for being good and not doing what others do.

Smile, for it is not misery, but happiness to be persecuted for you are being good. You did something great for Jesus and didn't follow those evil people in their evil ways. We will be hated by the world, but Loved by Jesus. Who are we to please the most? Jesus of course and the world will pass away, but Jesus is Forever. Jump for joy, smile and be happy, dance and sing and know you are just doing the right thing doing what is good. God Bless and may you find Peace in the Lord Jesus.
 
Upvote 0

heymikey80

Quidquid Latine dictum sit, altum viditur
Dec 18, 2005
14,496
921
✟34,309.00
Faith
Calvinist
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
There are lots of possible responses, here, and I like more responses than what I'm going to say. Plenty of us have been bullied, and we've found some manner of forgiveness for people.

But I'm going to point out something, too. "Forgive" seems to mean a couple of different things in Scripture. First, there's a question of your prescribed attitude, or your intent when entering into a situation. Often that's called "forgiveness from the heart".

But there is indeed a second thing called "forgiveness", a thing that comes in response to a process of reconciliation. Luke 17:3 points out conditions for this kind of reconciliation: the person has to be brought to understand his offense, and seek out forgiveness.

Most of what the New Testament talks about as "forgiveness" is heart forgiveness. But this idea of reconciliation is also present. And short circuiting the process of reconciliation is not the idea Jesus had when He said, "you must forgive seventy times seven." The idea is to approach offenses as you've been approached by God. If you've been forgiven for infinite offense against God, what exactly allows a grudge against some bully?

Finally, I note one last thing -- when you forgive from the heart, it does not mean you open yourself back up to the same dangers. That's actually reserved for reconciliation. You'd be in the process of reconciliation, but for the good of the bully. Becoming vulnerable again would only mean you're inviting more sin. And that's not good for you or the bully. Caring about the bully means not becoming vulnerable again this way. Not unless the bully seeks reconciliation.
 
Upvote 0

singpeace

Senior Member
Supporter
Oct 21, 2009
2,443
458
U.S.
✟40,147.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
CA-Conservatives
I was bullied as well... in school and in the workplace, and here is what I have learned:

1. Love is not a feeling but an act of kindness regardless of (or in spite of) our feelings.

2. Those who are bullies are really very afraid.

and

3. The real meaning of the scripture, "Be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove." It means that we are to be aware of the schemes and ways of our enemy Satan; for he is the real enemy. But we are to then continue to act like Christ. (which can be very trying)

Read the book of Ephesians. Use an easy-to-understand translation like the New Living Translation. You can read this translation and others at biblegateway.com. Here is part of it I think might be helpful:

Ephesians 6:12-17 (New Living Translation)

The Whole Armor of God

12. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Peripatetic

Restless mind, peaceful soul.
Feb 28, 2010
3,179
219
✟14,595.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
As others have said, bullying and bad behavior in general is often linked to self-esteem issues. For me, the best way to love people who treat me badly is to take a step back and look at them from a more distant perspective... to pray for them to resolve these issues, and to find the peace and closeness to God that would certainly help their behavior and outlook on life.
 
Upvote 0

roamthesky

Newbie
Jul 25, 2010
4
0
Germany
✟15,114.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
I've found that with people in my life who cause me grievances the best way to change my feelings towards them is to pray for them, and during the prayer to ask God to help me to see them as God perhaps sees them. But yes, above everything it helps me to pray for people with whom I have difficult relationships, and to genuinely try to wish them well. I don't know why that helps, but it brings me something approaching a feeling of peace towards the relationships.

That being said, sometimes it's more difficult than others. I don't think it's an easy thing to truly love one's neighbour, and I certainly don't get it right most of the time.
 
Upvote 0

crossnote

Berean
Supporter
May 16, 2010
2,903
1,593
So. Cal.
✟250,151.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
We have been born anew with a new nature. This new nature is that of Christ. We are to commit wrong doing done to us unto God who will be the judge and one day repay. Meanwhile we pray for them.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
(Rom 12:19-21)
 
Upvote 0
Jun 14, 2009
1,195
188
✟14,916.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
Just ignore them, and do not talk to them at all. Bullies like to manipulate and to have control. Do not be like a door mat, because they will wipe their shoes on you...... If you listen to them, and pay attention to them, they see you like giving them an open door. There is not point talking to a bully! They will not understand whatsoever.... The fact that they are bullying you, shows that they do not care about your feelings.
Just do not give in to them, because if you do, they will gain satisfaction, and do it again. If you do not talk to them at all, and ignore them, they can not control you, and at the end, they will have not choice, but to go and bully somebody else. Also, it is possible, that they will start to respect you, because when they see, that they can not control or manipulate you, that shows your strenght. And first of all and most important, is to try to trust God to help you and deliver you from them, because, when he sees that you are hurt by the bullies, it hurts God also, if you are a child of his, and are a born again. Also, look at the following verses;

1 John 4:16, Psalm 34, Psalm 37:28, 39, Psalm 40:11,12, Psalm 18, Psalm 91:14,15, Psalm 27:5, 12, Psalm 41:2, John 17:15, Psalm 130:7, 1 Corinthians 13:7, Psalm 103:3,5,8,11,13,17,18, Psalm 145:7,8,9,20, Romans 15:31, Psalm 69:13-17, Psalm 109:26, Psalm 116:3-9, 2 Thessalonians 3:2,3
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums