Loss of a Spiritual Mother

[Thatgirloncfforums]

I recently lost my spiritual mother. She did not pass away, rather, I lost her intimacy and friendship. This was right after my biological mother (whom I was also close to) died.

I have been grieving both and don't know how to overcome my depression. Outwardly, I am happy go-lucky, but inwardly, I feel like I can't breathe, the pain is so great. I have tried to speak to my Pastor about it, but can't really broach the subject.

I loved this woman more than I have ever loved any one else (besides my parents). I have always wanted a spiritual mother. Growing up, I wanted to become a nun. I even converted to Catholicism in 2010/2011. I have now left the RC, but still feel out of sorts in Lutheranism because I am monastically bent.

It's difficult to hear my church leaders contrast the Gospel with 'not like the monastics'. I want more than anything else, to give myself over to another woman. To work for her, and her interests. But I don't know if that sort of relationship is possible in Lutheranism.

I have even gone so far as to think that perhaps joining a more liberal church where women priests are accepted may be the answer.

I just don't know. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman and care for her in her old age. I am so lost.

 

[ViaCrucis]

I recently lost my spiritual mother. She did not pass away, rather, I lost her intimacy and friendship. This was right after my biological mother (whom I was also close to) died.

I have been grieving both and don't know how to overcome my depression. Outwardly, I am happy go-lucky, but inwardly, I feel like I can't breathe, the pain is so great. I have tried to speak to my Pastor about it, but can't really broach the subject.

I loved this woman more than I have ever loved any one else (besides my parents). I have always wanted a spiritual mother. Growing up, I wanted to become a nun. I even converted to Catholicism in 2010/2011. I have now left the RC, but still feel out of sorts in Lutheranism because I am monastically bent.

It's difficult to hear my church leaders contrast the Gospel with 'not like the monastics'. I want more than anything else, to give myself over to another woman. To work for her, and her interests. But I don't know if that sort of relationship is possible in Lutheranism.

I have even gone so far as to think that perhaps joining a more liberal church where women priests are accepted may be the answer.

I just don't know. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman and care for her in her old age. I am so lost.

While much rarer, there are Lutheran monastics. In Germany there are Lutheran monasteries and convents that have been in almost constant operation since the 1500's.

However, the big issue here is that as far as I can tell virtually every Lutheran convent I can find is found in Germany. Most Lutheran religious houses seem to be located in Germany, with a few in Sweden and Finland.

It's important to understand that monasticism isn't itself contrary to Lutheran theology. Luther's opposition to "monkery" wasn't against monastic vocation itself, but a wrong view of monasticism as a means of increasing one's chances of salvation. People would devote themselves to the monastic life believing that by joining a religious order they could improve their chances of earning salvation. That is what Luther took issue with.

But the monastic vocation itself has never been condemned, and there have been Lutheran monastics--both monks and nuns--since the time of the Reformation itself.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[Tigger45]

https://staugustines.house/

The Congregation of the Servants of Christ-St. Augustine’s House-is an ecumenical Christian community whose life of discipleship is inspired and shaped by the Holy Rule of St. Benedict. We identify with the Lutheran tradition, understood as a movement within and for the one holy catholic and apostolic Church of Jesus Christ.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

Thank you Tigger. I've come across them before. At the time, I was converting to RC.

It may be a feat and a half, but I would love to be in the position of bringing a sister house to Louisville. I ought to begin by contacting the LCMS, just to see if they are open to the possibility of having their own. But I am by no means attached to the M. Synod, and will leave (no, fly) to another community in order to be a part of such a project.
I've talked about my aspirations with my Pastor and he suggested the Diaconate for me. But looking into it, I don't find myself called to said ministry. I am more of a contemplative and desire a spiritual family.
If I thought that there was a place for me in Eastern Orthodoxy, I would move from Lutheranism. That may seem like an odd reason to convert, especially since I am heavily influenced by Luther. But, Orthodoxy is Orthopraxy.

I also have the situation that I will be taking care of my disabled sister for the rest of our lives. So wherever I go, she needs to go with me.

https://staugustines.house/

The Congregation of the Servants of Christ-St. Augustine’s House-is an ecumenical Christian community whose life of discipleship is inspired and shaped by the Holy Rule of St. Benedict. We identify with the Lutheran tradition, understood as a movement within and for the one holy catholic and apostolic Church of Jesus Christ.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

I was extremely blessed to have a family (both immediate and extended)which was heavily involved in church life. It was not uncommon to be involved in some activity several times a week.

I think this, plus the profound holiness of the older women in my life, created in me the desire to live within the confines of the Church. As a teenager and young adult, I was influenced by Julian of Norwich, Therese of Avila and Therese of Lisieux.

Therefore, Lutheranism for me, was from the start, 'monastic'. Or rather, Luther created for me, a living situation wherein all Christians lived the monastic life together. Luther, in my mind, was our spiritual father. That his family seal became the seal of my own family's faith was not lost on me. Being of German descent only solidified the familial binding of faith and personal identity.

But most of my family is now dead and the dynamics of my parish church is changing. I am trying to stay connected. Right now, I am secretary in the church office. Not exactly my dream, but at least I am still confined somewhat. And while I love this beautiful world and the people in it, I am estranged, like one living in a house not their own.

While much rarer, there are Lutheran monastics. In Germany there are Lutheran monasteries and convents that have been in almost constant operation since the 1500's.

However, the big issue here is that as far as I can tell virtually every Lutheran convent I can find is found in Germany. Most Lutheran religious houses seem to be located in Germany, with a few in Sweden and Finland.

It's important to understand that monasticism isn't itself contrary to Lutheran theology. Luther's opposition to "monkery" wasn't against monastic vocation itself, but a wrong view of monasticism as a means of increasing one's chances of salvation. People would devote themselves to the monastic life believing that by joining a religious order they could improve their chances of earning salvation. That is what Luther took issue with.

But the monastic vocation itself has never been condemned, and there have been Lutheran monastics--both monks and nuns--since the time of the Reformation itself.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[Tigger45]

And as you already know God can bring us “Godparents” outside of the walls of an official monastic life being our vocations in life aren’t normally a paved straight highway but are typically a winding pothole ridden gravel rode.

That being said, my wife and I met fairly late in life at 50 y/o. By the grace of God I’ve always been an on fire Christian for the Lord but my wife was a disenchanted Catholic with only her personal faith to cling to. Her being from Venezuela all she knew was Catholicism so when I took her to a Lutheran church the liturgy and sacraments were very familiar and she also even as of today appreciates how transparent, at least our pastors have been, about their own failures in following the Lord. But what was probably the biggest blessing was the spiritual mother she met there. That lady was very mature in her life with the Lord and took my wife under her wing which has been a blessing for the both of us.