Me and my boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, has been taking a break for already 2 months. In fact, we all know that I want him more than he wants me. During this time we’re supposed to reflect on ourselves, not contact each other and not go on social media. However I found out he went on social media through my friend and he brought this condition. Throughout the past months I’ve been praying and praying for restoration and reconciliation. I’ve been praying for change in him and discernment. I know it’s wrong to have doubts towards God, but I feel like it’s not worth it anymore to pray. If we were supposed to be back together I feel like my boyfriend should’ve done something by now or at least some kind of indication or awareness for me. All I can feel and heard from others is that he’s just living a normal life and better with his friends. You might say that maybe that’s Gods will and it doesn’t in line with mines or God is telling you to be patience. I really wanna know answer because I don’t know how to pray anymore. What if I asked for reconciliation and the next minute after our break we are.. to be separated. This will really crush my faith. One moment I have hope and the other moment I don’t and I feel like it’s not worthy.
what can I do
Hi Kolleen, my sympathies. It is sad.
So I'm going to start with a question: What is it you want from a mate? Please think about that question and do so with substance because if you once believed your exbf was that guy you have now learned that is not the case and the question has become "
Can he - or will he - become that guy or not?" and I think you also have the answer to
that question, as well. It could might possibly maybe be that guy but he is not now interested in doing so.
And you, Kolleen, are worth the best.
Please don't
ever forget that (just don't be prideful about it
).
I've been married 24 years this coming June and have discovered how extraordinary is my wife. I thought women were cool simply because they are nice and warm and round and soft and I like it when my wife rubs up against me in affection but underneath all that warm fuzzy stuf there is an extraordinary
person with whom I am fascinated. It takes a lot of work for us to have a healthy relationship, especially since we're imperfect. Did you get that? She's an extraordinary person... but imperfect.
I'd hold my wife up against any other women in this forum, in this country, on this planet. She has amazing character. You too might be extraordinary but I don;t know you. The
reason I can stand her up before all others is because I have spent 25 years with her getting to know her.
And getting over myself.
And when you find
that man; you'll know it because he will move heaven and earth to persuade you to let him have your hand and heart and body and soul in marriage and he won't give up or get lazy.
And that's not the guy described in this op.
So show him my post and hear what he says.
I have a daughter to whom I hold out this same standard. She is, at the same time, an extraordinary and beautiful woman whose neck I'd like to ring
. She is a daughter of The Most High God who is to be loved as Christ loved the Church, washed with the word and presented holy and blameless even though she is flawed by sin. She can marry whoever she chooses but I have high standards for her because God's standards are high.
Which brings me to my next question: Where's your dad and his pov?
Lastly, do not conflate your relationship with Jesus with you relationship with exbf. If you are tied to the xbf so much that losing him would cause the loss of faith mentioned in this op then the xbf was never the correct one for you and it is likely the relationship was always an idol unawares. Jesus first; boyfriends and husband second. Always. And if you think Jesus has been silent then maybe that's because he's not being heard, not because he's not speaking. The "signs" of failure and loss are present but.....
It is hard to see the picture from within the frame.
Your xbf does not keep his word. He is willing to separate from you. He does not know his immediate answer about whether or not to continue to work on the relationship
with you.
Yes, the loss will hurt but God promises never to cause more hurt than you can withstand and He promises to work all things for good according to His purpose. This places you in the awkward position of having to trust God at a moment when you are hurting and faith is weak.
If I were your dad I'd give you a big long firm hug and then tell you to put on your big girl panties and be the woman God is making you to be. I'd remind you that just as a cut will heal if treated properly, so too the soul will heal
if given the proper first aid. God made body and soul to heal. Every booboo you've ever had that scabbed up and healed is a testimony to God's existence and his love for you.
If you bring that guy over here to America I'll try to knock some sense into him
. Otherwise, walk away, take some time to heal, and then get back in the fight or on the journey or whatever you'd like to call it.
