Losing hope, feeling bereft

[ShoshanaUK]

Although my husband is not a believer, I became 'quiverfull' convicted around the year 2000.
I had 4 children plus 7 miscarriages.
I am 47 now so, although having more children remains my deepest heart desire, it does not seem likely that I will be blessed.
what did I do wrong?
Why do my prayers continue to go unanswered?
my youngest child is now 15.
I'm feeling very sad. Heartbroken in fact.

 

[dysert]

I'm sorry, Shoshana. My wife went through a kind of depression after she passed the childbearing years. Took her a long time to get through it. I don't see where you've done anything wrong. Biology is taking its course. I do hope you'll be able to properly grieve, and that it won't be too long before you'll be able to move on to the next chapter.

 

[mama2one]

have you thought about adoption at all?
you're not too old to adopt

 

[blackribbon]

Although my husband is not a believer, I became 'quiverfull' convicted around the year 2000.
I had 4 children plus 7 miscarriages.
I am 47 now so, although having more children remains my deepest heart desire, it does not seem likely that I will be blessed.
what did I do wrong?
Why do my prayers continue to go unanswered?
my youngest child is now 15.
I'm feeling very sad. Heartbroken in fact.

You are mourning the end of your fertility. It is something that most women go through whether or not they ever wanted children or have a quiverful. Part of it is related to hormonal changes as your body goes into perimenopause. Part of it just knows that you are moving into a different stage in your life. Your prayers will most likely still be answered ... just not in the way you asked. With 4 children, you will still have babies in your life as grandchildren.

As for the sadness and depression, talk to your ob/gyn about considering antidepressants or hormonal replacement.

And as a mother of a 20 and a 22 year old, I have realized that my kids still need me as a mother ... even if it is more a background role. I am enjoying this stage because I finally get to be their friend. Never underplay this stage in parenthood.

Take time to mourn for a little while and then start to look forward to the next stage of life.

If you really feel called to helping children, consider fostering kids who are stuck in the system and really need the love of a mother and a stable family...even if only for a short period of time.