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Losing a child

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Svt4Him, Sep 29, 2020.

  1. Svt4Him

    Svt4Him Legend Supporter

    My son passed away last year in a horrific grad car accident.

    Yes, it's worse than anyone could imagine. But that said, I'd like to offer some advice or answer any questions if anyone has any.

    First thing. And only thing. If you know anyone who is dealing with this, a simple I'm thinking about you is nice. Don't say it's going to be hard. Or it must be hard. That is especially true on birthdays, christmas, father's day, anniversaries, actually any day. The reason for this is you can be having a good day, and then someone says it and you start to feel bad for having a good day. Both my older son and I felt this. Christmas is nice. Then we're told it must be hard, then it makes it hard.

    That's my biggest piece of advice. For anyone going through this, my second piece of advice is recognize the depression when it comes. And it will. It sucks. But if you've never felt that type, you'll almost just feel hopeless. It's one of the stages of grief and it can come at any time.

    That's it.

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  2. Danigt22

    Danigt22 Active Member

    Costa Rica
    Sometimes God takes us earlier to protect us from this world. Im sure you child is with him, I see no point making his life shorter than it needed to be in order to be save. The resurrection is one the many promise our lord Jesus Christ made to his church. You will see him again. I also lost my gf last year, and I know when the day of the lord comes I will see her again.
  3. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    United States
    Thank you, because indeed we just never know.
  4. Macchiato

    Macchiato Member

    United States
    Gosh thia thread makes me sad. Just the thought is enough to make me cry. I have one son and thats it I personally feel if that happened to me that there isnt enough time for mw to get passed the grief and it would consume me.

    How do you let the grief not consume you ?
  5. Svt4Him

    Svt4Him Legend Supporter

    You have to take it one day at a time. Children are a gift. Sometimes it's easy to get stuck in the sadness of the loss without being thankful for the time we had, and the promises of God. But some days it does consume you, and you hope that it doesn't last. That normally comes in waves and it is hard. But I do remember the good times and am so thankful for the time he was here.

    One of the other things that helps, is staying true to who you are as a parent. Children are tough, they go slightly insane, and as parents it's almost overwhelming sometimes. But I look back at my son and I'm so thankful that he knew I loved him, he know what my expectations were, and I have very few regrets. That's not a bad place to be. Does that make the loss less? No, not at all.
  6. NerdGirl123

    NerdGirl123 If only we could be ourselves...

    United States
    I'm so very sorry for your loss. I also have one child, a son, and I can't imagine how I'd survive without him. Your son was a beautiful boy, if that's him in the video! Your strength and courage in posting this are so admirable. May God bless you continually with joyful memories of your beautiful son, and the promise that he is safe, whole, and waiting to see his mom again <3