I wanted to make a new thread over this topic since no one else is replying to the other thread anymore. Here is the first part which is a lot longer but more specific:
I met A single mom on Tinder who just started going to a Born Again church for 4 months.
for a TLDR version: I met a single mom on Tinder for 3 months. Said she was a new believer, we talked, had Bible studies, had some few laughs together, had some sharings with life as well, our exes. Then when we met up for the first time I sensed that her attitude kinda changed and then she kinda spewed venom at me for acting too clingy when we were not in a relationship yet.
After a few days, it felt like it was unfair on my part and told her that maybe all of this could have been avoided if we already did set boundaries for firsthand and maybe had a talk about our rules before you blew up like this? So what started as a calm reasoning turned to rant at her. And then she told me:
“Ven I apologize… it looks like you took some meaning over to what we have been doing. But I hope you are at peace now. I am still here… I have not ghosted you.”
I ignored those parts of the text and I kept saying things like, well maybe before we met you were having fantasies about what I really am and when you actually saw that I wasn’t this Knight in Shining Armor, you started being cold.
I told her how paranoid I was because all of the blame was on me and why she blew up like that with no warning since it was the first time she ranted like that...I even told her good thing I have my meds with me and was taking in my anxiety and kept it a secret to her so that she doesn't worry about me. Said it was a good thing that I wasn’t thinking of suicide or anything and then I blamed her a lot for making all worked up making me think where I went wrong.
She then asked if I was a Christian myself and told me if I am, she told me to pray like she always has in her prayers and told me to please ask for forgiveness from God because it feels like she doesn’t know me anymore.
What’s worse is that she told me this:
“Ven, as of right now only two things will happen… it’s either I go back to my old life or that I continue pursuing God… I prayed so hard that night and I knelt praying that you will be okay… but it looks like God didn’t answer my prayer… so maybe he isn’t real after all… so… to my Christian friends, including you… please don’t bother me anymore.”
I then saw myself as a hypocrite which caused her possible route to atheism and blamed myself to death over that night… I couldn’t sleep because I felt I was responsible for her shattered faith. I prayed so hard that night that I was desperate for what to do… panic attacks came and I had to take another Xanax again to make myself calm.
My real goal was: “Since I love this woman, I want her to be saved… I want her to be near to the Lord. She already has so many emotional traumas in life that I would want to help her… which is why I did Bible study sessions with her in the first place...I prayed to the Lord that even if she won’t become my girlfriend, I at least want her to be a shining light of beacon to those who don’t believe… like a Church Leader, a Missionary or better yet… a Pastor… her becoming my girlfriend will just be a bonus.”And for her to not believe God anymore would be my worst nightmare.
That night...I just had to press the emergency button. I called out to her best friend which was the reason why she was interested in becoming a Christian in the first place… I told her all about the story between us and she also told me she had stopped going to church for a month now and she was very disturbed about it. She thanked me for the info and that she knows what topic she will be speaking this time in their cell group… so at that time she just told me to pray and forgive myself which I did and she also prayed about the situation as well and told me not to tell her that I and her best friend were talking about her situation.
I woke up too early in the morning probably because of anxiety attacks and I kept on texting her about how sorry I was and then it felt like she was annoyed and called me instead:
“Why aren’t you sleeping? Have you been texting me all night? My God it feels like a Demon is entering me because of you! It’s a good thing I didn’t block you! No matter what you do, whether or not I will be pursuing God or not, it’s up to me and you can do nothing about it! I also am not looking for a boyfriend right now! You have said it all last night and you can’t take those words back anymore!”
“I can’t believe you are like this! I don’t like weak men. Also, why did you keep your meds a secret? Does this mean that whatever happens to you, I will be the one to answer for that? I have a child! Don’t you feel sorry for me? Your problem right now is so small, there are other things you are supposed to be worried about.”
So I just stood silent until she finished her sentences and I said “I’m sorry… I’ll pray for you and anything that has happened between us.”
“That’s a lot better! My God! You and my best friend are the only Christian friends that I have! I should be influenced by you guys! And to see that you are this weak makes me weak as well!”
I stood silent until she spoke after a few seconds: “I am going to the cell group this time… I hope God will listen to me this time”... and so she did.
Later that night she then gave me her last chat before I went no contact:
“I can't sleep. I'm thinking of all the people I've hurt unintentionally. Including you, I hope in time… you will give me peace of mind and forgiveness” and then she deactivated her Facebook.
So this is basically it… after around a week she reactivated her Facebook and have been going to a lot of events, like beaches, parties, karaoke… I can see that she is having a good time… I, on the other hand, have been more active in church and prayer and gave my family more time as well… we have been in no contact for a month.
A little later I noticed she has been using a change of clothes and using sexy styled clothing all of a sudden and then some dude who keeps commenting on her facebook and sending love reactions all over. I checked the dudes' facebook profile and she was sending heart likes as well and then they are telling each other what songs to play and stuff like that.
What's worse is: The guy is a Muslim or at least I believe he is because he has an Islamic name on his profile and a Non-Islamic name... so maybe a Half Muslim? So the guy is anything but Christ related: he drinks, smokes, has tattoos all over, ear piercings and goes to a lot of parties and discos and the Single mom just keeps on "heart reacting" his posts. Which leads me to believe they are dating.
This broke my heart even more... I was lead to believe she was looking for a Christian guy because that was what her dating profile is all about... now everything she says is kind of contradicting. But she still does go to church and share Bible verses on Facebook. The only thing that got me upset is why she is dating someone who is unequally yoked with her or that she is blinded by love or that this guy is so manly that she doesn't care if they are Christian or not.
So if you went to read all that, Congratulations! And Thank You for listening. I hope I have not wasted your time too much and if you did read all of that, I want you guys to also pray for her and for me that hopefully, she will not stray from her path.
God Bless.
I met A single mom on Tinder who just started going to a Born Again church for 4 months.
for a TLDR version: I met a single mom on Tinder for 3 months. Said she was a new believer, we talked, had Bible studies, had some few laughs together, had some sharings with life as well, our exes. Then when we met up for the first time I sensed that her attitude kinda changed and then she kinda spewed venom at me for acting too clingy when we were not in a relationship yet.
After a few days, it felt like it was unfair on my part and told her that maybe all of this could have been avoided if we already did set boundaries for firsthand and maybe had a talk about our rules before you blew up like this? So what started as a calm reasoning turned to rant at her. And then she told me:
“Ven I apologize… it looks like you took some meaning over to what we have been doing. But I hope you are at peace now. I am still here… I have not ghosted you.”
I ignored those parts of the text and I kept saying things like, well maybe before we met you were having fantasies about what I really am and when you actually saw that I wasn’t this Knight in Shining Armor, you started being cold.
I told her how paranoid I was because all of the blame was on me and why she blew up like that with no warning since it was the first time she ranted like that...I even told her good thing I have my meds with me and was taking in my anxiety and kept it a secret to her so that she doesn't worry about me. Said it was a good thing that I wasn’t thinking of suicide or anything and then I blamed her a lot for making all worked up making me think where I went wrong.
She then asked if I was a Christian myself and told me if I am, she told me to pray like she always has in her prayers and told me to please ask for forgiveness from God because it feels like she doesn’t know me anymore.
What’s worse is that she told me this:
“Ven, as of right now only two things will happen… it’s either I go back to my old life or that I continue pursuing God… I prayed so hard that night and I knelt praying that you will be okay… but it looks like God didn’t answer my prayer… so maybe he isn’t real after all… so… to my Christian friends, including you… please don’t bother me anymore.”
I then saw myself as a hypocrite which caused her possible route to atheism and blamed myself to death over that night… I couldn’t sleep because I felt I was responsible for her shattered faith. I prayed so hard that night that I was desperate for what to do… panic attacks came and I had to take another Xanax again to make myself calm.
My real goal was: “Since I love this woman, I want her to be saved… I want her to be near to the Lord. She already has so many emotional traumas in life that I would want to help her… which is why I did Bible study sessions with her in the first place...I prayed to the Lord that even if she won’t become my girlfriend, I at least want her to be a shining light of beacon to those who don’t believe… like a Church Leader, a Missionary or better yet… a Pastor… her becoming my girlfriend will just be a bonus.”And for her to not believe God anymore would be my worst nightmare.
That night...I just had to press the emergency button. I called out to her best friend which was the reason why she was interested in becoming a Christian in the first place… I told her all about the story between us and she also told me she had stopped going to church for a month now and she was very disturbed about it. She thanked me for the info and that she knows what topic she will be speaking this time in their cell group… so at that time she just told me to pray and forgive myself which I did and she also prayed about the situation as well and told me not to tell her that I and her best friend were talking about her situation.
I woke up too early in the morning probably because of anxiety attacks and I kept on texting her about how sorry I was and then it felt like she was annoyed and called me instead:
“Why aren’t you sleeping? Have you been texting me all night? My God it feels like a Demon is entering me because of you! It’s a good thing I didn’t block you! No matter what you do, whether or not I will be pursuing God or not, it’s up to me and you can do nothing about it! I also am not looking for a boyfriend right now! You have said it all last night and you can’t take those words back anymore!”
“I can’t believe you are like this! I don’t like weak men. Also, why did you keep your meds a secret? Does this mean that whatever happens to you, I will be the one to answer for that? I have a child! Don’t you feel sorry for me? Your problem right now is so small, there are other things you are supposed to be worried about.”
So I just stood silent until she finished her sentences and I said “I’m sorry… I’ll pray for you and anything that has happened between us.”
“That’s a lot better! My God! You and my best friend are the only Christian friends that I have! I should be influenced by you guys! And to see that you are this weak makes me weak as well!”
I stood silent until she spoke after a few seconds: “I am going to the cell group this time… I hope God will listen to me this time”... and so she did.
Later that night she then gave me her last chat before I went no contact:
“I can't sleep. I'm thinking of all the people I've hurt unintentionally. Including you, I hope in time… you will give me peace of mind and forgiveness” and then she deactivated her Facebook.
So this is basically it… after around a week she reactivated her Facebook and have been going to a lot of events, like beaches, parties, karaoke… I can see that she is having a good time… I, on the other hand, have been more active in church and prayer and gave my family more time as well… we have been in no contact for a month.
A little later I noticed she has been using a change of clothes and using sexy styled clothing all of a sudden and then some dude who keeps commenting on her facebook and sending love reactions all over. I checked the dudes' facebook profile and she was sending heart likes as well and then they are telling each other what songs to play and stuff like that.
What's worse is: The guy is a Muslim or at least I believe he is because he has an Islamic name on his profile and a Non-Islamic name... so maybe a Half Muslim? So the guy is anything but Christ related: he drinks, smokes, has tattoos all over, ear piercings and goes to a lot of parties and discos and the Single mom just keeps on "heart reacting" his posts. Which leads me to believe they are dating.
This broke my heart even more... I was lead to believe she was looking for a Christian guy because that was what her dating profile is all about... now everything she says is kind of contradicting. But she still does go to church and share Bible verses on Facebook. The only thing that got me upset is why she is dating someone who is unequally yoked with her or that she is blinded by love or that this guy is so manly that she doesn't care if they are Christian or not.
So if you went to read all that, Congratulations! And Thank You for listening. I hope I have not wasted your time too much and if you did read all of that, I want you guys to also pray for her and for me that hopefully, she will not stray from her path.
God Bless.
