- Jul 18, 2017
- 1
- 0
- 26
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
Hello. This is my first real time ever posting anything on a forum, but I'm really looking for some help right now.
My first serious girlfriend and I recently broke up after 3 and a half years together. Both of us were virgins at the beginning of it, and neither of us had any serious walk with God. About halfway through, I found salvation, and I realized my mistakes in leading our relationship down a path of premarital sex. It seriously weighed on me because it made dating far too mature before it needed to be, and I realized the spiritual and emotional and physical devotion in that kind of love. So, to reconcile it within myself we both made a promise to each other about the significance with which we had given each other a part of us we could never get back.
Fast forward to recently, I'm now 19 and it's the summer before my sophomore year of college. I broke up with her because of some bad fights we had about me not spending the right amount of time with her, the progression of our relationship, my feelings being overlooked by her, and how I felt like I wasn't good enough. I handled the breakup in a horribly immature way and I regret it so, so much. I cut her off of all forms of communication and didn't even think about how God would want me to handle it. This is hands down one of the worst mistakes I've made.
Just last week, I finally agreed to meet up with her for the first time and talk about things. I figured it was going to be all years and blaming and anger, but it was instead laughter, some sadness, and I felt so happy to talk with her again because she is my best friend. I decided that maybe I had made a mistake, because she seemed to have learned a lot from the break and she was happier with herself, taking charge of her life, and regretting the ways in which she realized she took me for granted and hurt me. So we met up again a few days ago to talk about what it would take to start anew. That's when she told me something that tore me more deeply than I've ever been before. In the month that we were apart she had sex with another man after just a week of talking with him.
The way that, that makes me feel is impossible to describe with words. She still has all of me, but now I'm living with the knowledge that I'm sharing part of her with another man. It's torn me to pieces because sex is like the ultimate commitment and a gift from God that allows a man and a woman to give themselves to each other as they would no one else. It's our ultimate expression of affection, intimacy, and spiritual togetherness. I feel so empty inside now. And I blame myself a lot for letting this happen. I want to still try to see if I can look past this and work things out again but I'm having the hardest time moving forward, and I need advice. I'm still trying to show her love, and I've forgiven her already, but I don't know how I'm going to forget.
Any advice is welcome, and I realize I'm young and probably sound extremely silly like I have no perspective, but I just can't help but feel like God is bringing her back into my life for a reason.
-Brendon
My first serious girlfriend and I recently broke up after 3 and a half years together. Both of us were virgins at the beginning of it, and neither of us had any serious walk with God. About halfway through, I found salvation, and I realized my mistakes in leading our relationship down a path of premarital sex. It seriously weighed on me because it made dating far too mature before it needed to be, and I realized the spiritual and emotional and physical devotion in that kind of love. So, to reconcile it within myself we both made a promise to each other about the significance with which we had given each other a part of us we could never get back.
Fast forward to recently, I'm now 19 and it's the summer before my sophomore year of college. I broke up with her because of some bad fights we had about me not spending the right amount of time with her, the progression of our relationship, my feelings being overlooked by her, and how I felt like I wasn't good enough. I handled the breakup in a horribly immature way and I regret it so, so much. I cut her off of all forms of communication and didn't even think about how God would want me to handle it. This is hands down one of the worst mistakes I've made.
Just last week, I finally agreed to meet up with her for the first time and talk about things. I figured it was going to be all years and blaming and anger, but it was instead laughter, some sadness, and I felt so happy to talk with her again because she is my best friend. I decided that maybe I had made a mistake, because she seemed to have learned a lot from the break and she was happier with herself, taking charge of her life, and regretting the ways in which she realized she took me for granted and hurt me. So we met up again a few days ago to talk about what it would take to start anew. That's when she told me something that tore me more deeply than I've ever been before. In the month that we were apart she had sex with another man after just a week of talking with him.
The way that, that makes me feel is impossible to describe with words. She still has all of me, but now I'm living with the knowledge that I'm sharing part of her with another man. It's torn me to pieces because sex is like the ultimate commitment and a gift from God that allows a man and a woman to give themselves to each other as they would no one else. It's our ultimate expression of affection, intimacy, and spiritual togetherness. I feel so empty inside now. And I blame myself a lot for letting this happen. I want to still try to see if I can look past this and work things out again but I'm having the hardest time moving forward, and I need advice. I'm still trying to show her love, and I've forgiven her already, but I don't know how I'm going to forget.
Any advice is welcome, and I realize I'm young and probably sound extremely silly like I have no perspective, but I just can't help but feel like God is bringing her back into my life for a reason.
-Brendon
