I want to be more like Jesus and God my Father has revealed to me that I first must first face some painful truths that I do not want to face. But the Holy Spirit is with me and will comfort me, just as he has always done, so I do not need to be afraid. I want to share my story to encourage other members as well as putting my story somewhere to leave behind when I have done and not pick it up again.
At the beginning of this year, I was thinking about my 50th birthday and how people approach this milestone. One thing people seem to do a lot is to take stock of their life, from their early childhood, and reflect upon happy memories. I allowed my mind to wander and I had many happy childhood memories - that is to say, I had many happy English childhood memories. But I am 25 per cent Danish and 75 per cent English. I do not have any Nordic childhood memories - none. This is because my half-Danish mother - who turned her back on her Danish mother's efforts to raise her in both English and Danish traditions - decided not to raise me or my older brother in both traditions. My mother never taught me any Danish. She did not take me to Denmark to visit my great grandparents. We 'celebrated' our Danish heritage at Christmas by eating a few Danish food items. Other than that the fact that we had Danish heritage was a family secret - it was taboo to even speak about it within the family behind closed doors.
As I considered what my realisation meant, I realised that my mother had taken away my birthright - it was my right by birth that I should learn the Danish language, that I should meet and form a relationship with my extended family in Denmark, that I should have Danish friends. It was my birthright to have both an English identity and a Danish identity - not only a Danish identity, but a Nordic identity.
Furthermore, my personality, my identity, was incomplete. All the way from birth, I was raised in a way that did not lead to my full childhood development and therefore, I did not form into a fully developed adult, psychologically and spiritually. i suffer today psychologically because of my mother's decision. I have been a dysfunctional adult for many years. I was a dysfunctional child because I was not nurtured properly.
My mother decided at a early age, at about 19, to sever ties with Denmark and her Danish identity. But she is half-Danish and half-English. I do not understand how she could turn her back on her Danish identity. Why was/is she ashamed to be Danish?
I realised that I did not truly know my mother. How could she truly love me when she denied half her personality, when she had only 50 per cent love to give me?
God revealed to me that it was not enough for me to be a Christian. Faith in Jesus would not - and never did - act as as a substitute for having both an English and Nordic identity. Nor could Jesus wave a magic wand and make it right. There are depths to my spiritual being that I cannot fathom and that only through prayer will I be healed and this has taken many years of prayer by other people who I am not aware of.
I wish I had been raised in the Danish traditions as well as the English traditions, so that by the time I gave my life to Jesus at the age of 15, in an English church, I would have sought out my Danish brothers- and sisters-in-Christ. I would have been part of an English Christian youth group and part of a Danish Christian youth group.
I will be developing this thread, but for now I will pause and I invite comments.
At the beginning of this year, I was thinking about my 50th birthday and how people approach this milestone. One thing people seem to do a lot is to take stock of their life, from their early childhood, and reflect upon happy memories. I allowed my mind to wander and I had many happy childhood memories - that is to say, I had many happy English childhood memories. But I am 25 per cent Danish and 75 per cent English. I do not have any Nordic childhood memories - none. This is because my half-Danish mother - who turned her back on her Danish mother's efforts to raise her in both English and Danish traditions - decided not to raise me or my older brother in both traditions. My mother never taught me any Danish. She did not take me to Denmark to visit my great grandparents. We 'celebrated' our Danish heritage at Christmas by eating a few Danish food items. Other than that the fact that we had Danish heritage was a family secret - it was taboo to even speak about it within the family behind closed doors.
As I considered what my realisation meant, I realised that my mother had taken away my birthright - it was my right by birth that I should learn the Danish language, that I should meet and form a relationship with my extended family in Denmark, that I should have Danish friends. It was my birthright to have both an English identity and a Danish identity - not only a Danish identity, but a Nordic identity.
Furthermore, my personality, my identity, was incomplete. All the way from birth, I was raised in a way that did not lead to my full childhood development and therefore, I did not form into a fully developed adult, psychologically and spiritually. i suffer today psychologically because of my mother's decision. I have been a dysfunctional adult for many years. I was a dysfunctional child because I was not nurtured properly.
My mother decided at a early age, at about 19, to sever ties with Denmark and her Danish identity. But she is half-Danish and half-English. I do not understand how she could turn her back on her Danish identity. Why was/is she ashamed to be Danish?
I realised that I did not truly know my mother. How could she truly love me when she denied half her personality, when she had only 50 per cent love to give me?
God revealed to me that it was not enough for me to be a Christian. Faith in Jesus would not - and never did - act as as a substitute for having both an English and Nordic identity. Nor could Jesus wave a magic wand and make it right. There are depths to my spiritual being that I cannot fathom and that only through prayer will I be healed and this has taken many years of prayer by other people who I am not aware of.
I wish I had been raised in the Danish traditions as well as the English traditions, so that by the time I gave my life to Jesus at the age of 15, in an English church, I would have sought out my Danish brothers- and sisters-in-Christ. I would have been part of an English Christian youth group and part of a Danish Christian youth group.
I will be developing this thread, but for now I will pause and I invite comments.
