Living with Conservative-esque Parents as a Liberal

[TheFirstofTheSeconds]

I mentioned in my previous post that I was struggling with my faith; another major factor is my family.

Yes, my family caused my faith to wear down.

My mom and dad are stubborn.

So stubborn, they are so conservative-like.

They don't care about my feelings. They make me unwelcome to not be an adult yet. They love me and I do too, but I hate certain parts about them.

I always get unwanted physical affection from them, even from my dad. Dad always grabbing my head to kiss my it, always feeling weird. He always does it. I'm okay with my mom, but I prefer friends since they understand me better.

I tell my mom I want to move on campus when I go to college (I'm a Junior in HS and 17 years old), she gets upset and tells me "No you have to stay here." I'm not even going out-of-state or that far, I'm trying to be nearby but I hated my childhood and my relationship with them.

I hate my life. I never want to end it, but I hate living with it.

Without my sister (who always had my back but was often away going to college and medical school), I felt like the only child at my house asides from my dog.

Nobody really cares about me. Nobody ever has my back.

When will God help?

When will my faith brighten up?

I just want to be my own person; I want to be a volunteer, I want to seek my faith independently, not going through the motions...

Why is that whenever I go to church and do church-activities and-the-like, its supposed to make my parents happy? How come I can't have my own feelings? I have a freedom of speech (I don't even want to hurt anybody however)...

 

[Scorcher007]

I mentioned in my previous post that I was struggling with my faith; another major factor is my family.

Yes, my family caused my faith to wear down.

My mom and dad are stubborn.

So stubborn, they are so conservative-like.

They don't care about my feelings. They make me unwelcome to not be an adult yet. They love me and I do too, but I hate certain parts about them.

I always get unwanted physical affection from them, even from my dad. Dad always grabbing my head to kiss my it, always feeling weird. He always does it. I'm okay with my mom, but I prefer friends since they understand me better.

I tell my mom I want to move on campus when I go to college (I'm a Junior in HS and 17 years old), she gets upset and tells me "No you have to stay here." I'm not even going out-of-state or that far, I'm trying to be nearby but I hated my childhood and my relationship with them.

I hate my life. I never want to end it, but I hate living with it.

Without my sister (who always had my back but was often away going to college and medical school), I felt like the only child at my house asides from my dog.

Nobody really cares about me. Nobody ever has my back.

When will God help?

When will my faith brighten up?

I just want to be my own person; I want to be a volunteer, I want to seek my faith independently, not going through the motions...

Why is that whenever I go to church and do church-activities and-the-like, its supposed to make my parents happy? How come I can't have my own feelings? I have a freedom of speech (I don't even want to hurt anybody however)...

You're just wanting to make the transition to adulthood.

You're on the cusp ... in a few years you may be lamenting your lost childhood.

Most likely you can achieve the freedom you seek in afew years ... but it will require that you work for it. Don't expect your parents to pay for your freedom.

 

[drjean]

Of course you want to be your own person, and you are becoming that! Please know that your body chemicals dump hormones in at your age and you can read up on how that really messes with your thinking and feelings.

You're becoming an adult and in learning how to do that "well" you might sit and think about all that you are going through, such as what you wrote above. For instance, what would be the adult response to having someone grab your head and kiss it? Response: ask that person to sit down and discuss this with you...and do so without high emotions or accusations. Just the facts about how you know it's his way to show he loves you but could he just tell you...or pat you on the back...how uncomfortable this makes you feel...

You've made many assumptions based upon your own perspective. The key is to realize the assumptions you make about people: saying they don't care about your feelings is one. If they didn't care, they wouldn't feed you, wouldn't bother telling you they love you...they would ignore you totally if they just didn't care. So you need to realize they do care but you want them to show that caring in a different way.


Since you haven't been talking with them, you must be listening to your peers who are in the same situation with hormones and desires too. You are also hearing your teachers, who can very well be biased and not know your own situation and goals either. It would be good to add in what your parents really think, and discuss things with them, too, right?

Adults sit down and discuss matters....and make agreements. If you feel you're ready for adult decisions then you'll do this, imo. Maybe they really don't know you and when you ignore them or push back against their actions and speech they can only suppose that you aren't ready for adult discussions and surely not for adult actions. Got it? Now go get 'em!

 

[Sabertooth]

Short answer: Their house, their rules.

I have no delusions that I can "legislate" my children into conversion, but I am responsible to God for what I allow to occur in my house. (I have a 17yo son that feels the same way.)

I care about his well-being, otherwise, but I am not in any way responsible for the choices he makes while away from home.

When he is 18 and establishes his own household, his choices (and their consequences) will fully rest with him. They won't be my problem.