living with an alcoholic my wife

[Michael Solomon]

To whoever reads this post,

I’m, I have tried everything good and bad have been heartbroken angry and frustrated I have tried everything to help her stop but to no avail, yes even bringing it to God, I worry about her while I’m at work to the point where I feel swallowed up in despair I weep in the morning and weep at night desiring for the night to pass and for it to be day again.

Is she a Christian believer God’s knows to my limited outward knowledge I feel she is only a professor of faith but who am I to judge? I’m not praying for her to stop drinking but that she may know Jesus, no human thing can help her, I have known of so many people who have been Alcoholics, Drug addicts, sexually perverted even a murderer who done time in jail yet all of these people’s lives were transformed when they had a living encounter with Christ Jesus

If anyone can offer some godly advice in this time of need I'm willing to pray and act on it

In desperation

 

[splish- splash]

To whoever reads this post,

I’m, I have tried everything good and bad have been heartbroken angry and frustrated I have tried everything to help her stop but to no avail, yes even bringing it to God, I worry about her while I’m at work to the point where I feel swallowed up in despair I weep in the morning and weep at night desiring for the night to pass and for it to be day again.

Is she a Christian believer God’s knows to my limited outward knowledge I feel she is only a professor of faith but who am I to judge? I’m not praying for her to stop drinking but that she may know Jesus, no human thing can help her, I have known of so many people who have been Alcoholics, Drug addicts, sexually perverted even a murderer who done time in jail yet all of these people’s lives were transformed when they had a living encounter with Christ Jesus

If anyone can offer some godly advice in this time of need I'm willing to pray and act on it

In desperation

If you came to The Lord after marriage, you'd obviously need to understand the situation at hand. I'd say, just keep wrestling with the Lord for her salvation.

 

[Richard Mulcahy]

My Mum is an alcoholic. She is 70 years old and has been sober for 10 years now. I was devastated to witness her many sufferings over the years she has been afflicted over and over. I prayed many times for her to quit alcohol. She finally did and is a new person completely. She is wonderful. I know that an alcoholic needs to completely stop drinking. I offer my prayers to you both. There is usually a comorbity with alcoholism for example say a mental health issue like depression. This may be worth investigating with a Psychiatrist. Medication coupled with an appropriate form of counselling may be the answer.

 

[Richard Mulcahy]

My Mum is an alcoholic. She is 70 years old and has been sober for 10 years now. I was devastated to witness her many sufferings over the years she has been afflicted over and over. I prayed many times for her to quit alcohol. She finally did and is a new person completely. She is wonderful. I know that an alcoholic needs to completely stop drinking. I offer my prayers to you both. There is usually a comorbity with alcoholism for example say a mental health issue like depression. This may be worth investigating with a Psychiatrist. Medication coupled with an appropriate form of counselling may be the answer.

 

[Fred L Carter]

It may sound ridiculous but try finding a new habit for her to replace the alcohol some really fine beverage like sparkling Spring Water something that's fun to drink something that she likes that would distract her like a collection of really fine fruit juices grape juice Welch's makes one that's non-GMO that doesn't bother the stomach really nice gives her energy supplies to share she needs instead of alcohol it's just simply aboard an issue related to depression you must replace the bad habit with a good habit it requires some experimentation I'm sure you'll be able to do it with love and belief

 

[Steve97]

P

To whoever reads this post,

I’m, I have tried everything good and bad have been heartbroken angry and frustrated I have tried everything to help her stop but to no avail, yes even bringing it to God, I worry about her while I’m at work to the point where I feel swallowed up in despair I weep in the morning and weep at night desiring for the night to pass and for it to be day again.

Is she a Christian believer God’s knows to my limited outward knowledge I feel she is only a professor of faith but who am I to judge? I’m not praying for her to stop drinking but that she may know Jesus, no human thing can help her, I have known of so many people who have been Alcoholics, Drug addicts, sexually perverted even a murderer who done time in jail yet all of these people’s lives were transformed when they had a living encounter with Christ Jesus

If anyone can offer some godly advice in this time of need I'm willing to pray and act on it

In desperation

Prayers for you and your wife. My church will pray for you as well.
Al-Anon meetings my help you as well.

 

[RaymondG]

This may sound ridiculous, but your methods have been failing......so why not try Jesus and Him alone? He is waiting for you to cast all your cares on Him.....taking none back for yourself afterwards.....for He carest for you.

 

[Anthony2019]

To whoever reads this post,

I’m, I have tried everything good and bad have been heartbroken angry and frustrated I have tried everything to help her stop but to no avail, yes even bringing it to God, I worry about her while I’m at work to the point where I feel swallowed up in despair I weep in the morning and weep at night desiring for the night to pass and for it to be day again.

Is she a Christian believer God’s knows to my limited outward knowledge I feel she is only a professor of faith but who am I to judge? I’m not praying for her to stop drinking but that she may know Jesus, no human thing can help her, I have known of so many people who have been Alcoholics, Drug addicts, sexually perverted even a murderer who done time in jail yet all of these people’s lives were transformed when they had a living encounter with Christ Jesus

If anyone can offer some godly advice in this time of need I'm willing to pray and act on it

In desperation

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and hoping and praying that things will get better for your wife with her struggle with alcohol.
The biggest challenge to overcoming alcohol dependency is the person recognising that they have a problem. Unfortunately, many alcoholics will continue drinking regardless of their difficulties, denying that they have a problem until a situation arises in their life which forces them to re-examine their drinking. Recovery programmes call this their "rock bottom" and that threshold will vary from person to person.
Recovery programmes also speak of "tough love", which means that being kind to someone with a drinking problem often requires being resolute and firm with them, setting your own boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not, and being consistent in carrying out any actions that you have promised (eg. refusing to spend money on alcohol). It is natural that you will want to help, but you have be very clear about what you are, and what you are not, able to do to help her. Your life is important as well.
If she has a mild to moderate dependency, then seeking help from a counsellor, there may be a way she can get help to cut down on her drinking. But if she is drinking heavily and has an established dependency, then abstinence may be the only realistic goal. There are many groups available to help people stop drinking. AA, for instance, has a group almost every night in most major towns and cities as well as a 24 hour helpline.
Don't forget there are also groups like Al-Anon that are specifically for families of loved ones whose lives are affected by alcohol. You may wish to consider giving them a call as well.

 

[Dan1988]

To whoever reads this post,

I’m, I have tried everything good and bad have been heartbroken angry and frustrated I have tried everything to help her stop but to no avail, yes even bringing it to God, I worry about her while I’m at work to the point where I feel swallowed up in despair I weep in the morning and weep at night desiring for the night to pass and for it to be day again.

Is she a Christian believer God’s knows to my limited outward knowledge I feel she is only a professor of faith but who am I to judge? I’m not praying for her to stop drinking but that she may know Jesus, no human thing can help her, I have known of so many people who have been Alcoholics, Drug addicts, sexually perverted even a murderer who done time in jail yet all of these people’s lives were transformed when they had a living encounter with Christ Jesus

If anyone can offer some godly advice in this time of need I'm willing to pray and act on it

In desperation

I take it your wife admits that she is a drunkard or (alcoholic). I ask because many addicts deny that they are addicted. If your wife admits that she is, then that's a good thing in and of itself.

I was addicted to drugs and alcohol for many years, I always knew that it was wrong and sinful but I felt overpowered by the urge to abuse. I believe there is great hope for all those who admit to their problem as being sinful behavior.

Drugs and alcohol abuse are some of Satan's greatest weapons in the destruction of a person. I have seen many set free from the bondage of drunkenness and drug abuse, by the Lord Jesus Christ.

I have also see others in 12 step programs who still identify as addicts after decades of abstinence. My heart goes out to those people in particular, because they are still in bondage after so may years of abstinence. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Only Christ can heal an addicted person and set them free immediately.
He will only do it when the person come to Him in repentance and faith, sadly this usually happens when the addicted person comes to the end of themselves.

In my case and many others that I witnessed, we done a lot of harm to ourselves and to others before we surrendered in desperation. I hope your wife won't have to stoop to the depths of deprivation which I did, before I was ready to surrender to the Lord.

It may be worth trying to explain to her, that the longer she continues to abuse alcohol (God calls drunkenness a sin) the worse the consequences are going to be. The Bible lists drunkenness along side of other grievous sins, such as murder and witchcraft.

If she is a believer, then please remind her that she is offending God everyday. The penalty is eternal damnation in hell, so plead with her to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to liberate her from this terrible bondage. Christ is the only One who has the power to free her and giver her a wonderful new life.

I can't describe in words, how powerful my addiction to heroin was. I was convinced that I could never live without it, but that's what the enemy wanted me to believe. Christ said we can do all thing by Him, He has the power over every evil thing. All we need to do is really put our full trust in Him and He will most certainly liberate us from any bondage to any sin.

 

[chilehed]

I strongly suggest joining the Al-Anon fellowship in your area. I also strongly suggest you ignore the nonsense that Dan1988 says about 12-step programs.

 

[Joey Arnold]

Depends on how bad it is. My dad was an alcoholic.

 

[Michael Solomon]

If you came to The Lord after marriage, you'd obviously need to understand the situation at hand. I'd say, just keep wrestling with the Lord for her salvation.

The Lord called me to himself before our marriage, I also married in good faith believing she was a believer

 

[Michael Solomon]

My Mum is an alcoholic. She is 70 years old and has been sober for 10 years now. I was devastated to witness her many sufferings over the years she has been afflicted over and over. I prayed many times for her to quit alcohol. She finally did and is a new person completely. She is wonderful. I know that an alcoholic needs to completely stop drinking. I offer my prayers to you both. There is usually a comorbity with alcoholism for example say a mental health issue like depression. This may be worth investigating with a Psychiatrist. Medication coupled with an appropriate form of counselling may be the answer.

Thank you for your prayers for you both of us, I believe the Lord is doing something, my wife has an interest in an outreach our church is doing for people who want to know about why we need Jesus a 7-week course

 

[Michael Solomon]

It may sound ridiculous but try finding a new habit for her to replace the alcohol some really fine beverage like sparkling Spring Water something that's fun to drink something that she likes that would distract her like a collection of really fine fruit juices grape juice Welch's makes one that's non-GMO that doesn't bother the stomach really nice gives her energy supplies to share she needs instead of alcohol it's just simply aboard an issue related to depression you must replace the bad habit with a good habit it requires some experimentation I'm sure you'll be able to do it with love and belief

What you say is true and a great part of the problem, however: "don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Don’t be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, those who practise homosexuality, 10 thieves, the greedy, drunkards, slanderers, swindlers—none of these will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 That is what some of you were—but you were washed, you were made holy, you were set right in the name of the Lord Yeshua the Messiah and by the Ruach of our God.1 Corinthians 6:9-11 JESUS CHRIST in her life is the only true and lasting salvation

 

[Michael Solomon]

P


Prayers for you and your wife. My church will pray for you as well.
Al-Anon meetings my help you as well.

Dear friend I thank-you so much for yourself and your church praying for my wife at this time, Tried Al-Anon, however, there is no true deliverance but by the trough our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ: 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Or do you not know that the unrighteous " will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor people who practice homosexuality," 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God

So I continue to pray for Christ to be formed in her :
my little children, of whom again I travail in birth, till Christ may be formed in you, Like the apostle Paul I also pray this for my wife and I never give up praying for her; and this is my prayer. That God, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ and the all-glorious Father, will give her spiritual wisdom and the insight to know more of him: that she may receive that inner illumination of the spirit which will make her realise how great is the hope to which he is calling her—the magnificence and splendour of the inheritance promised to Christians—and how tremendous is the power available to her as she has faith in God. from Ephesians 1:18

 

[Michael Solomon]

This may sound ridiculous, but your methods have been failing......so why not try Jesus and Him alone? He is waiting for you to cast all your cares on Him.....taking none back for yourself afterwards.....for He carest for you.

Yes and Amen thank-you

 

[Michael Solomon]

I take it your wife admits that she is a drunkard or (alcoholic). I ask because many addicts deny that they are addicted. If your wife admits that she is, then that's a good thing in and of itself.

I was addicted to drugs and alcohol for many years, I always knew that it was wrong and sinful but I felt overpowered by the urge to abuse. I believe there is great hope for all those who admit to their problem as being sinful behavior.

Drugs and alcohol abuse are some of Satan's greatest weapons in the destruction of a person. I have seen many set free from the bondage of drunkenness and drug abuse, by the Lord Jesus Christ.

I have also see others in 12 step programs who still identify as addicts after decades of abstinence. My heart goes out to those people in particular, because they are still in bondage after so may years of abstinence. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Only Christ can heal an addicted person and set them free immediately.
He will only do it when the person come to Him in repentance and faith, sadly this usually happens when the addicted person comes to the end of themselves.

In my case and many others that I witnessed, we done a lot of harm to ourselves and to others before we surrendered in desperation. I hope your wife won't have to stoop to the depths of deprivation which I did, before I was ready to surrender to the Lord.

It may be worth trying to explain to her, that the longer she continues to abuse alcohol (God calls drunkenness a sin) the worse the consequences are going to be. The Bible lists drunkenness along side of other grievous sins, such as murder and witchcraft.

If she is a believer, then please remind her that she is offending God everyday. The penalty is eternal damnation in hell, so plead with her to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to liberate her from this terrible bondage. Christ is the only One who has the power to free her and giver her a wonderful new life.

I can't describe in words, how powerful my addiction to heroin was. I was convinced that I could never live without it, but that's what the enemy wanted me to believe. Christ said we can do all thing by Him, He has the power over every evil thing. All we need to do is really put our full trust in Him and He will most certainly liberate us from any bondage to any sin.

Yes, and Amen dear friend you are speaking truth Truth that is in Jesus Christ: And such were so of you!!! Yes we who know Him have come out of darkness into His marvellous light. Please hold us up in Prayer. Only God the Father can truly open her eyes and draw her to His Son and only God's Son Jesus Christ our Lord and only He can set us free from all sin, Of which He already has. And we can see that it was while we were powerless to help ourselves that Christ died for sinful men. In human experience, it is a rare thing for one man to give his life for another, even if the latter be a good man, though there have been a few who have had the courage to do it. Yet the proof of God’s amazing love is this: that it was while we were sinners that Christ died for us. All this is God’s doing, for he has reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ; and he has made us agents of the reconciliation. God was in Christ personally reconciling the world to himself—not counting their sins against them—and has commissioned us with the message of reconciliation. We are now Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were appealing directly to you through us. As his personal representatives, we say, “Make your peace with God.” For God caused Christ, who himself knew nothing of sin, actually to be sin for our sakes so that in Christ we might be made good with the goodness of God.

 

[splish- splash]

The Lord called me to himself before our marriage, I also married in good faith believing she was a believer

I'd say seek The Lord's face concerning her problem and wait for Him to speak.

 

[Dan1988]

Yes, and Amen dear friend you are speaking truth Truth that is in Jesus Christ: And such were so of you!!! Yes we who know Him have come out of darkness into His marvellous light. Please hold us up in Prayer. Only God the Father can truly open her eyes and draw her to His Son and only God's Son Jesus Christ our Lord and only He can set us free from all sin, Of which He already has. And we can see that it was while we were powerless to help ourselves that Christ died for sinful men. In human experience, it is a rare thing for one man to give his life for another, even if the latter be a good man, though there have been a few who have had the courage to do it. Yet the proof of God’s amazing love is this: that it was while we were sinners that Christ died for us. All this is God’s doing, for he has reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ; and he has made us agents of the reconciliation. God was in Christ personally reconciling the world to himself—not counting their sins against them—and has commissioned us with the message of reconciliation. We are now Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were appealing directly to you through us. As his personal representatives, we say, “Make your peace with God.” For God caused Christ, who himself knew nothing of sin, actually to be sin for our sakes so that in Christ we might be made good with the goodness of God.

It's very encouraging to see your humility here, you obviously trust in the Lord alone for your salvation.

I noticed you give the Lord all the praise and glory, which He richly deserves. You didn't claim that your decision to believe, contributed to you being saved.

You can be sure that your wife will be saved, if God draws her to himself and opens her spiritual eyes. This 'of course doesn't mean you sit back and wait for God to do it all. God uses ordinary men to do His supernatural work of regeneration.

I'm no expert or great theologian, but I believe that the best thing you can do is bare a good testimony before your wife. She will see this and be encouraged to trust in the Lord as well.

God sometimes brings harsh providence's into our lives to achieve great things for us. Looking back at my situation, I can see God's hand in everything that happened. The very worst thing that God can do to anyone, is to give them what they want.

The Bible teaches that we all inherited a sin nature from Adam, so we will naturally gravitate towards sin if God doesn't intervene with harsh providence's. We may see them as punishment, but they are actually God showing His love for us while we were His enemies.

God want's to bless us with eternal paradise, but we naturally hate Him and seek to serve our lust and the devil. I'm not sure which Bible passage describes us as being "dead in our sins and trespasses" but I know for a fact that I was until God quickened me to life.

 

[Lily76_]

Suggest she goes to AA