Living as Roommates

anewday

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For most of this year, my husband and I have been living as roommates. I filed for divorce, but that was put on hold due to the virus. Now that I finally told my husband I want a divorce and filed, he is finally the man I had always hoped he would be. But I have no desire to be any more than friends with him. We've been through this before where he says he will change and he does, for awhile, then the verbal, emotional, and mental manipulation would creep back in. I don't trust him.

I know I'm supposed to forgive him for the hurt he has caused me during most of our marriage, but I don't have many feelings for him anymore and don't want a romantic relationship with him. My mom recently told me I have walls up because of the hurt that he caused. That could be true.

Yes, I know that marriage is much more than romance and feelings. Once I chose to take a step back from the relationship, I have felt a lot better about myself and my future. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

I know this will be hard and weird, but I feel like I'm making the right decision. I dunno, just looking for a place to put down my thoughts. I also need prayers of forgiveness. There are still some days where I hate him for what he did to me, and myself for allowing certain behaviors to go on for years.

Thank you.
 

Arc F1

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For most of this year, my husband and I have been living as roommates. I filed for divorce, but that was put on hold due to the virus. Now that I finally told my husband I want a divorce and filed, he is finally the man I had always hoped he would be. But I have no desire to be any more than friends with him. We've been through this before where he says he will change and he does, for awhile, then the verbal, emotional, and mental manipulation would creep back in. I don't trust him.

I know I'm supposed to forgive him for the hurt he has caused me during most of our marriage, but I don't have many feelings for him anymore and don't want a romantic relationship with him. My mom recently told me I have walls up because of the hurt that he caused. That could be true.

Yes, I know that marriage is much more than romance and feelings. Once I chose to take a step back from the relationship, I have felt a lot better about myself and my future. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

I know this will be hard and weird, but I feel like I'm making the right decision. I dunno, just looking for a place to put down my thoughts. I also need prayers of forgiveness. There are still some days where I hate him for what he did to me, and myself for allowing certain behaviors to go on for years.

Thank you.

Mathew 19. We don't always listen but the Bible definitely gives us the path we should follow.
 
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Hammster

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For most of this year, my husband and I have been living as roommates. I filed for divorce, but that was put on hold due to the virus. Now that I finally told my husband I want a divorce and filed, he is finally the man I had always hoped he would be. But I have no desire to be any more than friends with him. We've been through this before where he says he will change and he does, for awhile, then the verbal, emotional, and mental manipulation would creep back in. I don't trust him.

I know I'm supposed to forgive him for the hurt he has caused me during most of our marriage, but I don't have many feelings for him anymore and don't want a romantic relationship with him. My mom recently told me I have walls up because of the hurt that he caused. That could be true.

Yes, I know that marriage is much more than romance and feelings. Once I chose to take a step back from the relationship, I have felt a lot better about myself and my future. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

I know this will be hard and weird, but I feel like I'm making the right decision. I dunno, just looking for a place to put down my thoughts. I also need prayers of forgiveness. There are still some days where I hate him for what he did to me, and myself for allowing certain behaviors to go on for years.

Thank you.
What do your elders say about this?
 
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eleos1954

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For most of this year, my husband and I have been living as roommates. I filed for divorce, but that was put on hold due to the virus. Now that I finally told my husband I want a divorce and filed, he is finally the man I had always hoped he would be. But I have no desire to be any more than friends with him. We've been through this before where he says he will change and he does, for awhile, then the verbal, emotional, and mental manipulation would creep back in. I don't trust him.

I know I'm supposed to forgive him for the hurt he has caused me during most of our marriage, but I don't have many feelings for him anymore and don't want a romantic relationship with him. My mom recently told me I have walls up because of the hurt that he caused. That could be true.

Yes, I know that marriage is much more than romance and feelings. Once I chose to take a step back from the relationship, I have felt a lot better about myself and my future. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

I know this will be hard and weird, but I feel like I'm making the right decision. I dunno, just looking for a place to put down my thoughts. I also need prayers of forgiveness. There are still some days where I hate him for what he did to me, and myself for allowing certain behaviors to go on for years.

Thank you.

You've already made your decision and are comfortable with it. Go forward and may the Lord be with you as you do.
 
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NerdGirl

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For most of this year, my husband and I have been living as roommates. I filed for divorce, but that was put on hold due to the virus. Now that I finally told my husband I want a divorce and filed, he is finally the man I had always hoped he would be. But I have no desire to be any more than friends with him. We've been through this before where he says he will change and he does, for awhile, then the verbal, emotional, and mental manipulation would creep back in. I don't trust him.

I know I'm supposed to forgive him for the hurt he has caused me during most of our marriage, but I don't have many feelings for him anymore and don't want a romantic relationship with him. My mom recently told me I have walls up because of the hurt that he caused. That could be true.

Yes, I know that marriage is much more than romance and feelings. Once I chose to take a step back from the relationship, I have felt a lot better about myself and my future. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

I know this will be hard and weird, but I feel like I'm making the right decision. I dunno, just looking for a place to put down my thoughts. I also need prayers of forgiveness. There are still some days where I hate him for what he did to me, and myself for allowing certain behaviors to go on for years.

Thank you.

As I've told you before, I can relate to all of this. I'm not quite to the stage that you are. I haven't said the "D" word, but I've told him I'm struggling, depressed, stressed, anxious, and feel like we haven't been on the same page or working towards the same goals and future, for a long time. And that I may be looking for a place to go, while I think and pray on what to do. Also like you, I'm 'stuck' right now because of the pandemic, and not having anywhere to go. We've been living like roommates for years, so I'm used to it.

I know it's a jumble of thoughts and feelings. Sadness, guilt, fear, regret. Not being able to move forward and move out and clear my head and get some perspective is incredibly draining on me. As long as I'm still in the same house, I feel like I'm just going through the motions and being a robot sometimes.

Hugs for you <3
 
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