Living a life of hope and faith

[sunshine100]

Do you think that God created us to live a life of hope and faith and all of good things to come in your life?I really and truly think this and believe this to be true,but why do you think that love is so hard to find for some people,but for others it is not?And why do you think that it takes so long to find someone that will love you for you and accept you for you?Some people spend their whole lives waiting for a love so true.

 

[bèlla]

I don't believe love is hard to find. I think it's challenging if you're looking for a needle in a haystack and expecting to find that person very soon. Marriage is no longer the goal for many men under 40. The climate is changing and the shift didn't happen on our end. And the child-free population is growing. Many people don't want children. If you desire either you're working with smaller options.

Don't forget, the unchurched numbers are rising steadily. Many left and never went back. Some gave up the faith, pursued a different path, or call themselves spiritual. There are more Christian women looking for husbands than the reverse. It's a numbers game for some.

Some of this is related to the woman as well. It depends on your presentation and what you're seeking from the other person. I have never spoken of love or anything along those lines in my profile. However, I do mention character and the qualities I know are most compatible with my own. And I look for fruit in the other person.

You're focusing on love in your question but I think that takes time. Too much emotion can be a turnoff for the opposite sex. I think it's more important to look for a complement and allow things to go from there. Eagerness can be a detriment depending on the other person. It communicates neediness to some.

Many Christian women will have to confront the reality of relocating or addressing their must-have list if they want to settle down. I don't think that's going to change.

I don't have problems meeting secular men at all. Things are different on this side.

 

[redleghunter]

Do you think that God created us to live a life of hope and faith and all of good things to come in your life?I really and truly think this and believe this to be true,but why do you think that love is so hard to find for some people,but for others it is not?And why do you think that it takes so long to find someone that will love you for you and accept you for you?Some people spend their whole lives waiting for a love so true.

My best friend and best man at my wedding almost 29 years ago is 51 and still searching. He is a great brother in Christ but at every turn when he thought he had the right lady he was called to ministry.

We speak often of patience and prayer. He shares insights as a single man in ministry and I share insights of being a married man. He admits he really wants kids and I admit I would love to do the archeological digs he does on a moments notice.

The Lord hears your prayers. At this moment in time He has you exactly where He wants.

But what can we do? It can be difficult and I know it is...We must look to God’s Joy in these matters putting Him above our worries, desires and hopes. If we continue to pursue Christ and be filled with the Holy Spirit He will guide us.

He will make us lie down in green pastures He lead usbeside quiet waters. (Psalm 23)

God hears our prayers. Psalm 40 demonstrates we wait patiently and His ear will be inclined to our petitions.

Psalm 40 BSB

I will pray for you sister in Christ.

 

[redleghunter]

I don't believe love is hard to find. I think it's challenging if you're looking for a needle in a haystack and expecting to find that person very soon. Marriage is no longer the goal for many men under 40. The climate is changing and the shift didn't happen on our end. And the child-free population is growing. Many people don't want children. If you desire either you're working with smaller options.

Don't forget, the unchurched numbers are rising steadily. Many left and never went back. Some gave up the faith, pursued a different path, or call themselves spiritual. There are more Christian women looking for husbands than the reverse. It's a numbers game for some.

Some of this is related to the woman as well. It depends on your presentation and what you're seeking from the other person. I have never spoken of love or anything along those lines in my profile. However, I do mention character and the qualities I know are most compatible with my own. And I look for fruit in the other person.

You're focusing on love in your question but I think that takes time. Too much emotion can be a turnoff for the opposite sex. I think it's more important to look for a complement and allow things to go from there. Eagerness can be a detriment depending on the other person. It communicates neediness to some.

Many Christian women will have to confront the reality of relocating or addressing their must-have list if they want to settle down. I don't think that's going to change.

I don't have problems meeting secular men at all. Things are different on this side.

Wow thanks for those insights. The church I am a member it is overflowing with young people teens to 30s. The married couples have large familes of their own children and some even larger with adopted children. You trip over crawlers and toddlers. It seems there is little issue of pairing off two by two.

My nieces are Christians and both went to Christian colleges and married devoted Christian men after graduation.

But as you mention it seems the norm is what one early church fathers opined “there are more Christian maidens than we have men to marry them.” So the church has faced this in peaks and valleys over the centuries.

I would also offer from a Christian man perspective, that the ladies should not just be looking for a guy who just goes to church or even attend a Christian school. Not everyone in church is (1) a Christian and (2) not every man is devoted to the Lord.

It may be shocking to say to most. But a Christian lady devoted to the Lord should be looking for a man who will admit they Love Christ more than the woman.

 

[bèlla]

Wow thanks for those insights. The church I am a member it is overflowing with young people teens to 30s. The married couples have large familes of their own children and some even larger with adopted children. You trip over crawlers and toddlers. It seems there is little issue of pairing off two by two.

You're welcome.

That is true in some communities but others are not as fortunate and singles can find the atmosphere difficult and feel left out. The issue has been raised in books and forums on the Internet. It's a problem.

My nieces are Christians and both went to Christian colleges and married devoted Christian men after graduation.

I mentioned this in the singles forum. It's much easier to do so when you attend a Christian school and have a wide network of friends who share your beliefs.

But as you mention it seems the norm is what one early church fathers opined “there are more Christian maidens than we have men to marry them.” So the church has faced this in peaks and valleys over the centuries.

Men are leaving in droves and the Church isn't saying much about it. There aren't enough to go around unless you're willing to move or consider someone a little older.

I would also offer from a Christian man perspective, that the ladies should not just be looking for a guy who just goes to church or even attend a Christian school. Not everyone in church is (1) a Christian and (2) not every man is devoted to the Lord.

I've never dated a Christian man and if someone hit on me in Church I'd be offended. I'm not there for that. My antenna is never up in that setting. And I don't limit the Lord to one place or locale. I view marriage in relation to my calling and a prospect needs to line up with what He's moving me towards.

It may be shocking to say to most. But a Christian lady devoted to the Lord should be looking for a man who will admit they Love Christ more than the woman.

It isn't shocking. But I wouldn't readily believe that statement. I'd look for fruit and behavior that testifies he is walking with Lord and seeking his purpose or living it out.

I honestly feel this can easily become an idol for some and it affects their personality, spirit, and disposition. And I don't think that's correct. This is part of the cross we're carrying. Some will marry young, others in middle age, and a few even later. Trying to speed it up will bring its own challenges.

Truth be told, I'm having the time of my life. I'm single, never married, in my 40's, I've raised a daughter who loves the Lord and I'm walking in my purpose with the day at my disposal every day. I can work on my business unencumbered without any interruptions. What do I have to complain about? I have a life of ease.

I could remain in this state but I don't think that's His intention. ;-)

 

[redleghunter]

Truth be told, I'm having the time of my life. I'm single, never married, in my 40's, I've raised a daughter who loves the Lord and I'm walking in my purpose with the day at my disposal every day. I can work on my business unencumbered without any interruptions. What do I have to complain about? I have a life of ease.

I could remain in this state but I don't think that's His intention. ;-)

You know I know this great guy (see my other post) who just might be a great match for you. The best friend best man at my wedding.

 

[bèlla]

You know I know this great guy (see my other post) who just might be a great match for you. The best friend best man at my wedding.

I appreciate the kind sentiments. Why is your friend alone?

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Do you think that God created us to live a life of hope and faith and all of good things to come in your life?

Look first of all in the TORAH, Prophets, Psalms, and New Testament to God's people.

Remember Jesus Promised persecution, painful persecution, to all who choose to follow Him. He says in the world you will have much persecution, but be of good cheer.

He has overcome the world. The Peace and Joy and Righteousness He Gives to all who are saved cannot be taken away like the world's <false> peace can.

 

[redleghunter]

I appreciate the kind sentiments. Why is your friend alone?

At every turn where it seemed best to settle down he was led deeper into ministry. Not to mention he ascended quickly in his work and became one of the youngest board members at Morgan Stanley. He “retired” early at 46 (now 51) to devote himself full time to ministry work. He sits on the board of directors for 6 Christian ministries one being an archeological society and travels often to Israel and Jordan participating in digs.

Lol so I guess his jetsetting ministry life did not sit well in the relationships he was in over the years.

For 20 years he was balancing his job, ministry and home church responsibilities.

 

[bèlla]

At every turn where it seemed best to settle down he was led deeper into ministry. Not to mention he ascended quickly in his work and became one of the youngest board members at Morgan Stanley. He “retired” early at 46 (now 51) to devote himself full time to ministry work. He sits on the board of directors for 6 Christian ministries one being an archeological society and travels often to Israel and Jordan participating in digs.

Interesting. I worked in finance and left in my mid-30's. And I found my way back to God and Christ in a Jewish synagogue. My connection to Judaism still remains and can be an issue for some. I've gone to church but my heart is in the synagogue and I've taken years to discern my place. The time away was painful. I missed them a great deal.

Lol so I guess his jetsetting makes ministry life did not sit well in the relationships he was in over the years.

For 20 years he was balancing his job, ministry and home church responsibilities.

Many people don't have the same flexibility and it's not a lifestyle most can live. Long distance relationships have their challenges. I've done them in the past. It takes a special temperament and patience from both to make it work.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

As Jesus Says, both (or either. i.e. just one per person for life) married life, and singleness, is a gift from Yahweh. Most people never realize this, nor honor Yahweh.

 

[bèlla]

As Jesus Says, both (or either. i.e. just one per person for life) married life, and singleness, is a gift from Yahweh. Most people never realize this, nor honor Yahweh.

You're correct. But many people addressing the subject here and elsewhere aren't called to singleness permanently and have not received a gift of celibacy either. Most struggle with the absence of a partner or opportunity for companionship. It's a reflection of our culture and the prevalence of sin.

 

[CaspianSails]

Do you think that God created us to live a life of hope and faith and all of good things to come in your life?I really and truly think this and believe this to be true,but why do you think that love is so hard to find for some people,but for others it is not?And why do you think that it takes so long to find someone that will love you for you and accept you for you?Some people spend their whole lives waiting for a love so true.

I think you are conflating a few things here. God does want His children to live full and abundant lives, this does not mean powerful, successful in human terms, or rich in money and goods. God can provide those things as well but abundant life in the fruit of the Spirit is the direction and example of Christ. Love though, physical and emotional love for another person is something different. Some of us are simply unlovable, some are not ready, some have no idea what love is. Do you want someone to love you then be the person Christ spoke of when it came to love and what Paul tells us about marriage. Sacrifice self for others. Are you capable and at a point where you can put the needs of another before your own. Sometimes love is right in front of you but it does not fit your checklist. There are many reasons why love is elusive and many times it is simply that we are not prepared yet for it, or perhaps the other person is not prepared. To a simpler truth, God created us to serve and honor Him first and foremost. Not because He needs us to do this but because we are a creation of His and we need to worship and obey Him in order to be our best self. In fact the more we deny self and honor God the more like Him we can become. That is the true joy and door for all the promises of God.

 

[CaspianSails]

You're correct. But many people addressing the subject here and elsewhere aren't called to singleness permanently and have not received a gift of celibacy either. Most struggle with the absence of a partner or opportunity for companionship. It's a reflection of our culture and the prevalence of sin.

Simply put as Paul taught live where you are at this time. Don't pale for what you don't yet have. Be happy and satisfied in your current state. As you yield to God He will direct your path and if His best for you is a spouse He will bring you together. Philipians 4:11. Paul does say if you cannot live celibate it is best to take a wife. I Corinthians chapter 7 talks to this. Celibacy or married both are states which are acceptable to God.

 

[bèlla]

Simply put as Paul taught live where you are at this time. Don't pale for what you don't yet have. Be happy and satisfied in your current state. As you yield to God He will direct your path and if His best for you is a spouse He will bring you together. Philipians 4:11. Paul does say if you cannot live celibate it is best to take a wife. I Corinthians chapter 7 talks to this. Celibacy or married both are states which are acceptable to God.

I am not dismissing the teaching. I'm expressing empathy for those who are struggling. I'm very content in my current state. Why would I give it up?

 

[CaspianSails]

I am not dismissing the teaching. I'm expressing empathy for those who are struggling. I'm very content in my current state. Why would I give it up?

Excellently put.

 

[bèlla]

Excellently put.

I don't know if that's noble. I have an easy and comfortable life. Most people wouldn't change that. ;-)

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

You're correct. But many people addressing the subject here and elsewhere aren't called to singleness permanently and have not received a gift of celibacy either. Most struggle with the absence of a partner or opportunity for companionship. It's a reflection of our culture and the prevalence of sin.

Yes. To continue,
As Yahweh's Word Says, if they want peace and joy and righteousness, (those who are reflecting culture with prevalence of sin) , they should then renounce culture, honor God's Word, and repent. He is the One to Strengthen anyone, to accomplish their 'gift' no matter what it is, including as written strengthening/ purifying through suffering/struggling.

 

[bèlla]

Yes. To continue,
As Yahweh's Word Says, if they want peace and joy and righteousness, (those who are reflecting culture with prevalence of sin) , they should then renounce culture, honor God's Word, and repent. He is the One to Strengthen anyone, to accomplish their 'gift' no matter what it is, including as written strengthening/ purifying through suffering/struggling.

The Holy Spirit enables us to minister to people in different ways. While you are correct, your words may have a different impact on your audience, depending on their situation. Ministry is more than scripture. It requires an ability to counsel, encourage, and exhort when necessary.

 

[Anangiel]

My best friend and best man at my wedding almost 29 years ago is 51 and still searching. He is a great brother in Christ but at every turn when he thought he had the right lady he was called to ministry.

We speak often of patience and prayer. He shares insights as a single man in ministry and I share insights of being a married man. He admits he really wants kids and I admit I would love to do the archeological digs he does on a moments notice.

The Lord hears your prayers. At this moment in time He has you exactly where He wants.

But what can we do? It can be difficult and I know it is...We must look to God’s Joy in these matters putting Him above our worries, desires and hopes. If we continue to pursue Christ and be filled with the Holy Spirit He will guide us.

He will make us lie down in green pastures He lead usbeside quiet waters. (Psalm 23)

God hears our prayers. Psalm 40 demonstrates we wait patiently and His ear will be inclined to our petitions.

Psalm 40 BSB

I will pray for you sister in Christ.

I’m 51 as well and single. It’s a Godly man for me or no man. It is hard sometimes but I also believe God has us where he wants us.