Carl, I believe it would be delightful to have the Holy Spirit guide. Don’t worry. Just trust God the Spirit will level the grounds.
Pray for wisdom that His words can bring you enlightenment on how you can ministers after long absence from normal church activities and home fellowship.
I understand your experience of rejection. Did not the Lord get rejected and He was crucified?
What do the Lord tells us to do ?
Pray for those who prosecuted us ! How much in this day and age we need to release forgiveness to others ! With God’s strength, all things are possible.
Pray for your wife and children that the Lord is working in them and that their hearts will eventually prepare for the work of service that the Lord already prepare for them to do.
Ask the Lord what the work of service that the Lord wants for them and that may not be the same like yours.
In regard to liturgical service, it is said to represent a communal response to and participation in the sacred through activity reflecting praise, thanksgiving, remembrance, supplication or repentance.
I understand that some may have enriching and nourishing experience of love, joy and peace of God. While others find it predictive performance and may not meet their spiritual needs.
Likewise in non liturgical service setting — praise and worship service,
some may find it enriching with the presence of God full of love, joy and peace. While others may find unpredictable performance and may not meet their spiritual needs.
But this is what we have heard :
and there are VARIETIES of Service, but the same Lord; -1 Corinthians 12:5
and there are VARITIES of Activities , but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. -1 Corinthians 12:6
So, don’t let varieties of service and activities cause a division !
What have we been instructed by apostle Paul ?
I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be UNITED in the same MIND and the same JUDGMENT. -1 Corinthians 1:10
Why this quarreling among us ? Do you know that quarreling hinders your prayer to be heard ?
Why hate our brothers or sisters in Christ in regard to variety of services and activities and live in darkness? Have some not heard that the Lord calls us to love one another ?
What is liturgical service ? Is it not to submit to Christ’s words ? If not submit to Christ’s words, we are not obliged to do !
What is praise and worship service ? Are we not called to worship in spirit and truth? If it is not in the right spirit and truth, we are not obliged to follow !
For we have the same Lord and God who calls to be conformed to the image of His Son.
It is right to submit to His words through practice like liturgical practice.
It is right for us to honor God by praising and worshiping Him in spirit and truth through spiritual songs, hymns and melodies.
But have we ?:
PUT ON then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, -Colossians 3:12
BEARING WITH one another and, if one has a complaint against another, FORGIVING each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. -Colossians 3:13
Let us not have the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things that God has prepared for those who love Christ.
Carl, are you concerned by being ‘not ordained’? Is that not the challenge that apostle Paul had ?
Are not many concerned whether he is apostle, called by the will of God and set apart for the gospel of Jesus Christ ?
What did apostle Paul have said ?:
Paul, an apostle'not from men nor through man, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised Him from the dead' -Galatians 1:1
Imitate apostle Paul in his faith that you are ordained not from men nor through man, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised Him from the dead !
In regard to what you called us as ‘elite’, just remember the Lord’s caution :
And he cautioned them, saying, "Watch out; beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod." -
Mark 8:15
In this transition, I would advice that you look carefully how you walk, and continuously filled with the Holy Spirit every moment and submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.