- Dec 25, 2004
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Summary
When the king made a decree and Daniel saw lions mentioned in the fine print, he went home straight away and prayed to God about it. But the bad guys were watching ...
Characters
NARRATOR, SNEAKY, DEVIOUS, NASTY, DARIUS, DANIEL, GUARD, SALESMAN
NARRATOR Sometime after Jerusalem was captured and many of the Israelites had been taken into exile, King Darius of the Medes took over the kingship. The king decided to appoint governors to oversee his kingdom and administrators to oversee the governors. One of these administrators was a Jewish exile named Daniel.
Now Daniel so distinguished himself by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to put him in charge of his whole kingdom. At this the administrators and governors became jealous and looked for a way to get rid of Daniel.
Scene 1: Daniels office
[The bad guys are in Daniels office at night time, with torches, looking through Daniels desk and filing cabinet]
SNEAKY All right boys, were after anything incriminating.
DEVIOUS [Pointing down] Hey nice rug.
NASTY Persian?
DEVIOUS Id say so.
SNEAKY Quiet you two. [To Devious] Check the filing cabinet.
DEVIOUS [Flicking through] Nothing under racketeering ... no fff-raud ... no extortion.
SNEAKY Try "H" for homicide, its a long shot.
DEVIOUS Theres nothing here. Not even a misdemeanor. What about his expenses?
NASTY [Shaking head] Stationary, camel fares ... no all this stuffs legit.
DEVIOUS Maybe we could plant something in here. Like a silver cup.
NASTY Its been done.
SNEAKY This is hopeless. Were never going to find anything on this guy. [Click fingers] Unless it has something to do with that God of his.
NASTY Got ya. Ill call his Sunday school teacher and see what I can dig up.
SNEAKY No wait a minute, Ive got a better idea. [Fade out]
NARRATOR Now the rulers and administrators went to King Darius with a scheme to trap Daniel.
Scene 2: Throneroom
DARIUS Before we begin gentlemen, Daniel mentioned to me the other day that we need to consider the consequences of our decisions more carefully. [Getting out notepad]
So Im going to strictly and comprehensively evaluate everything you say. Now speak, O royal officials.
SNEAKY Oh king you are wondrous to gaze upon.
DARIUS [Taking notes] Seems good so far.
SNEAKY And who could possibly compare to your majesty.
DARIUS [Still taking notes] ... majesty." No argument there.
SNEAKY [Handing file, king flicks through] So the royal administrators and I have devised a proposal that all of your subjects should pray only to you and to no other man or god for a period of thirty days. Then they too may appreciate your greatness.
DARIUS [Stacking pages together] Well this seems to be in order. But what will you have me do to anyone who disobeys this decree?
SNEAKY I suggest your majesty, in the unlikely event that anyone disobeys this decree, that they should be fed to the fish. [Bom Bom Bomm]
DARIUS How are we going to feed them to the fish, the fish are like this small?
SNEAKY Well I thought we could chop them up into fish flake size pieces and ...
DEVIOUS [Interrupts] Why dont we just feed them to the lions? I thought thats why we bought the things in the first place.
DARIUS Thats right just feed them to the lions.
SNEAKY I was just offering my opinion.
NASTY Well keep it to yourself next time.
SNEAKY I am so unappreciated.
[Fade out]
NARRATOR So on the advice of his administrators and rulers, King Darius put the decree in writing so that it could not be altered, even by himself, according to the law.
Now when Daniel read the decree and saw lions mentioned in the fine print he immediately went home and prayed to God. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed giving thanks to God, just as he always did. But the kings officials were watching.
Scene 3: Stake-out
[The three bad guys are watching Daniels house to catch him praying to God. Nasty is looking through binoculars]
NASTY The decree says no praying to God, so what does he do? He prays to God about the decree.
SNEAKY I tell you, these Jews are so predictable.
BAD GUYS Ha ha ha ha ha.
DEVIOUS Hey give me a go of the binoculars.
NASTY No theyre mine!
DEVIOUS I said I want those binoculars!
NASTY And I said youre not getting them!
SNEAKY All right, thats it you two! Im confiscating those binoculars. [Takes binoculars and looks through, laughing quietly to himself]
He he he, theyre so stupid.
[Fade out]
NARRATOR After the officials had caught Daniel praying to God they went to the king and reminded him of his royal decree.
Scene 4: Back in Throneroom
[Darius is sitting at his throne, there is a coffee table beside him with a pile of letters on it. Bad guys enter]
NASTY O king we have disturbing news. Do you remember the decree you wrote the other day.
DARIUS What, the one about goats milk with school lunches?
NASTY No, the other one. The one which decreed that none of your subjects should pray to any man or god other than yourself for a period of thirty days, lest they be thrown to the lions.
DARIUS Oh you bet I remember it! For the last thirty days, day and night Ive heard nothing but prayers. [Picks up some letters & reads through]
"O king should I buy a new house?"
"Can you fix it so I go well in my exams?"
"My date tree is dying, can you do something about it?"
Oh and last night a doosy:
"O king I pray that the monarchy will be overturned and Persia will become a republic!"
DEVIOUS Well your highness there is another problem. Daniel, one of the exiles from Judah, pays no attention to your decree. He still prays to his God, three times a day and according to the decree he must be thrown into the lions den.
DARIUS [Hits himself on the head] Daniel!
[Fade out]
More coming...
When the king made a decree and Daniel saw lions mentioned in the fine print, he went home straight away and prayed to God about it. But the bad guys were watching ...
Characters
NARRATOR, SNEAKY, DEVIOUS, NASTY, DARIUS, DANIEL, GUARD, SALESMAN
NARRATOR Sometime after Jerusalem was captured and many of the Israelites had been taken into exile, King Darius of the Medes took over the kingship. The king decided to appoint governors to oversee his kingdom and administrators to oversee the governors. One of these administrators was a Jewish exile named Daniel.
Now Daniel so distinguished himself by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to put him in charge of his whole kingdom. At this the administrators and governors became jealous and looked for a way to get rid of Daniel.
Scene 1: Daniels office
[The bad guys are in Daniels office at night time, with torches, looking through Daniels desk and filing cabinet]
SNEAKY All right boys, were after anything incriminating.
DEVIOUS [Pointing down] Hey nice rug.
NASTY Persian?
DEVIOUS Id say so.
SNEAKY Quiet you two. [To Devious] Check the filing cabinet.
DEVIOUS [Flicking through] Nothing under racketeering ... no fff-raud ... no extortion.
SNEAKY Try "H" for homicide, its a long shot.
DEVIOUS Theres nothing here. Not even a misdemeanor. What about his expenses?
NASTY [Shaking head] Stationary, camel fares ... no all this stuffs legit.
DEVIOUS Maybe we could plant something in here. Like a silver cup.
NASTY Its been done.
SNEAKY This is hopeless. Were never going to find anything on this guy. [Click fingers] Unless it has something to do with that God of his.
NASTY Got ya. Ill call his Sunday school teacher and see what I can dig up.
SNEAKY No wait a minute, Ive got a better idea. [Fade out]
NARRATOR Now the rulers and administrators went to King Darius with a scheme to trap Daniel.
Scene 2: Throneroom
DARIUS Before we begin gentlemen, Daniel mentioned to me the other day that we need to consider the consequences of our decisions more carefully. [Getting out notepad]
So Im going to strictly and comprehensively evaluate everything you say. Now speak, O royal officials.
SNEAKY Oh king you are wondrous to gaze upon.
DARIUS [Taking notes] Seems good so far.
SNEAKY And who could possibly compare to your majesty.
DARIUS [Still taking notes] ... majesty." No argument there.
SNEAKY [Handing file, king flicks through] So the royal administrators and I have devised a proposal that all of your subjects should pray only to you and to no other man or god for a period of thirty days. Then they too may appreciate your greatness.
DARIUS [Stacking pages together] Well this seems to be in order. But what will you have me do to anyone who disobeys this decree?
SNEAKY I suggest your majesty, in the unlikely event that anyone disobeys this decree, that they should be fed to the fish. [Bom Bom Bomm]
DARIUS How are we going to feed them to the fish, the fish are like this small?
SNEAKY Well I thought we could chop them up into fish flake size pieces and ...
DEVIOUS [Interrupts] Why dont we just feed them to the lions? I thought thats why we bought the things in the first place.
DARIUS Thats right just feed them to the lions.
SNEAKY I was just offering my opinion.
NASTY Well keep it to yourself next time.
SNEAKY I am so unappreciated.
[Fade out]
NARRATOR So on the advice of his administrators and rulers, King Darius put the decree in writing so that it could not be altered, even by himself, according to the law.
Now when Daniel read the decree and saw lions mentioned in the fine print he immediately went home and prayed to God. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed giving thanks to God, just as he always did. But the kings officials were watching.
Scene 3: Stake-out
[The three bad guys are watching Daniels house to catch him praying to God. Nasty is looking through binoculars]
NASTY The decree says no praying to God, so what does he do? He prays to God about the decree.
SNEAKY I tell you, these Jews are so predictable.
BAD GUYS Ha ha ha ha ha.
DEVIOUS Hey give me a go of the binoculars.
NASTY No theyre mine!
DEVIOUS I said I want those binoculars!
NASTY And I said youre not getting them!
SNEAKY All right, thats it you two! Im confiscating those binoculars. [Takes binoculars and looks through, laughing quietly to himself]
He he he, theyre so stupid.
[Fade out]
NARRATOR After the officials had caught Daniel praying to God they went to the king and reminded him of his royal decree.
Scene 4: Back in Throneroom
[Darius is sitting at his throne, there is a coffee table beside him with a pile of letters on it. Bad guys enter]
NASTY O king we have disturbing news. Do you remember the decree you wrote the other day.
DARIUS What, the one about goats milk with school lunches?
NASTY No, the other one. The one which decreed that none of your subjects should pray to any man or god other than yourself for a period of thirty days, lest they be thrown to the lions.
DARIUS Oh you bet I remember it! For the last thirty days, day and night Ive heard nothing but prayers. [Picks up some letters & reads through]
"O king should I buy a new house?"
"Can you fix it so I go well in my exams?"
"My date tree is dying, can you do something about it?"
Oh and last night a doosy:
"O king I pray that the monarchy will be overturned and Persia will become a republic!"
DEVIOUS Well your highness there is another problem. Daniel, one of the exiles from Judah, pays no attention to your decree. He still prays to his God, three times a day and according to the decree he must be thrown into the lions den.
DARIUS [Hits himself on the head] Daniel!
[Fade out]
More coming...
