Learning that a former church friend has mocked you for your disability/way you look

[Hannah66]

I have no problems forgiving people, and Christ says we have to do it 70 times 7.
But i sometimes struggle to understand why people do need to mock you for your disability/way you look.

A friend of mine called the other day. She was talking about her first ex-husband, who I knew from our previous church.
My friend is now married four times but was referring to something her ex-husband had said about me.

She told me that hearing this would hurt me. She told me that he mocked me for years
and laughed behind my back because i have a visual disability(I have eye problems and an eye condition that affects my cornea and ability to see/deal with glare. i now wear sunglasses even inside.
They both came to visit me at home after I had a cornea transplant (2002).

She went on to say:-
"he mocked you because you squint and said that 'you are not right in the head'
and something about the way you look.
I told her I shocked as he was always nice and kind to me. She told me he was pretending.
i told her that my vision doesn't affect my brain and that I can still function.

She went on to say - something wrong with the way i look'

it did hurt me.
It was a trigger for me as my former husband started mocking me because of my poor vision and the way my eyes looked.

I've forgiven them both but wonder, as Christians, how or why they need to feel the need to mock me/laugh at me.

 

[Brihaha]

I have no problems forgiving people, and Christ says we have to do it 70 times 7.
But i sometimes struggle to understand why people do need to mock you for your disability/way you look.

A friend of mine called the other day. She was talking about her first ex-husband, who I knew from our previous church.
My friend is now married four times but was referring to something her ex-husband had said about me.

She told me that hearing this would hurt me. She told me that he mocked me for years
and laughed behind my back because i have a visual disability(I have eye problems and an eye condition that affects my cornea and ability to see/deal with glare. i now wear sunglasses even inside.
They both came to visit me at home after I had a cornea transplant (2002).

She went on to say:-
"he mocked you because you squint and said that 'you are not right in the head'
and something about the way you look.
I told her I shocked as he was always nice and kind to me. She told me he was pretending.
i told her that my vision doesn't affect my brain and that I can still function.

She went on to say - something wrong with the way i look'

it did hurt me.
It was a trigger for me as my former husband started mocking me because of my poor vision and the way my eyes looked.

I've forgiven them both but wonder, as Christians, how or why they need to feel the need to mock me/laugh at me.

I can understand your pain of learning how others have spoken about your shortcomings. As mortals it isn't easy to ignore slights by other people. But as mortals we all have our human frailties. We've all likely made fun of others for sport. We can only forgive and try not to make the same mistakes. Often people make fun of others to deflect their attention from their own shortcomings. I just read in the Bible recently about always being kind to others. In Proverbs I think. Those who are cruel to others only hurt themselves. Even purported Christians. We cannot allow our hurt or pain to motivate us into revenge. That is for God to do. We simply forgive others so we may be forgiven.

Also, the hurtful comments weren't directed at you personally. You heard about them secondhand. I think that's where the saying "What you don't know can't hurt you." This "friend" of yours sounds like a gossip. It isn't difficult to grasp why she has been married so many times. Maybe you can find some different friends with whom to associate. I have had to cut ties with a few over the years myself. I revoked their license to hurt me haha. I'm not telling you to abandon your friendship. But maybe reexamine your boundaries with each other.

In any case, with God and faith you will overcome and survive. Have yourself a wonderful day. And accept the fact that you deserve to be happy today. Peace

 

[Jonaitis]

I've forgiven them both but wonder, as Christians, how or why they need to feel the need to mock me/laugh at me.

They have bigger egos than they have faith in God, which, from my experience, is becoming pretty common.

 

[turkle]

I've forgiven them both but wonder, as Christians, how or why they need to feel the need to mock me/laugh at me.

I think you know the answer to this. They do so to feel superior. But in the end, it doesn't matter. These people are being cruel because it entertains them.

I'm so sorry this has been a pattern of pain for you. My recommendation, however, is to realize that people will be people, and shake them off. Don't give them the power to hurt you. By now allowing the pain to penetrate, you can walk away in peace. Remember that these comments reveal who they are. It's a reflection on them, not you.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

That is sad. I am sorry you were mocked. Jesus said, you shall know them by their fruit. Their fruit is unkind, therefore not of God or Christ. Take heart because Jesus loves you. <3

 

[mourningdove~]

I have no problems forgiving people, and Christ says we have to do it 70 times 7.
But i sometimes struggle to understand why people do need to mock you for your disability/way you look.

A friend of mine called the other day. She was talking about her first ex-husband, who I knew from our previous church.
My friend is now married four times but was referring to something her ex-husband had said about me.

She told me that hearing this would hurt me. She told me that he mocked me for years
and laughed behind my back because i have a visual disability(I have eye problems and an eye condition that affects my cornea and ability to see/deal with glare. i now wear sunglasses even inside.
They both came to visit me at home after I had a cornea transplant (2002).

She went on to say:-
"he mocked you because you squint and said that 'you are not right in the head'
and something about the way you look.
I told her I shocked as he was always nice and kind to me. She told me he was pretending.
i told her that my vision doesn't affect my brain and that I can still function.

She went on to say - something wrong with the way i look'

it did hurt me.
It was a trigger for me as my former husband started mocking me because of my poor vision and the way my eyes looked.

I've forgiven them both but wonder, as Christians, how or why they need to feel the need to mock me/laugh at me.

It is pride that causes a person to make fun of others.
Persons like to make fun of others in an attempt to feel better about themselves.
But pride is one of the seven deadly sins, and so it is not a funny or wise thing to be prideful.

Very sorry you were told what this man said about you.

 

[Tolworth John]

t was a trigger for me as my former husband started mocking me because of my poor vision and the way my eyes looked.

I've forgiven them both but wonder, as Christians, how or why they need to feel the need to mock me/laugh at me.

Two things.

God only forgives those who repent. Like God we only have to forgive those who say sorry and like Jesus on the cross, just as he prayed ' Father forgive them' so we only have to ask God to deal with them and us.

Why do people mock? because they are immature. both the x husband and the x wife as she had no need to tell you.

 

[Hannah66]

That is sad. I am sorry you were mocked. Jesus said, you shall know them by their fruit. Their fruit is unkind, therefore not of God or Christ. Take heart because Jesus loves you. <3

thank you!

 

[subtlecollision]

Sorry you had to go through that. That's really hurtful. It is hard especially when fellow Christians hurt you. I have experienced that. I pray that God would help you in healing from these experiences.