Leading people on

[KomissarSteve]

I might be guilty of this.

Women tend to think that if you pay any attention to them, try to make them laugh, or compliment them then you are interested in them. It's gotten me in trouble in the past, in more than one way. That said, I am still for having friends of the opposite sex...but....



clearly the problem is with women

Well, come on now, though, be honest. There was some truth in "When Harry Met Sally." Single guys rarely friends with non-obese, non-deformed girls unless they're interested in them, to one degree or another.

 

[Macrina]

I might be guilty of this.

Women tend to think that if you pay any attention to them, try to make them laugh, or compliment them then you are interested in them. It's gotten me in trouble in the past, in more than one way. That said, I am still for having friends of the opposite sex...but....



clearly the problem is with women

Haha. Yup, it's all our fault.

But as I said a few posts ago, I've been guilty of it, too, so it isn't just a guy thing.

I'm still for making friends of the opposite sex, too. I tend to get along better with men than with women. (Yeah, I'm weird)

 

[simmeringabsolute]

Well, come on now, though, be honest. There was some truth in "When Harry Met Sally." Single guys rarely friends with non-obese, non-deformed girls unless they're interested in them, to one degree or another.

I'm innocent I tell ya, innocent!

 

[Manda_24]

I might be guilty of this.

Women tend to think that if you pay any attention to them, try to make them laugh, or compliment them then you are interested in them. It's gotten me in trouble in the past, in more than one way. That said, I am still for having friends of the opposite sex...but....

I don't think that's completely true for every woman, or at least for me. Yes there are times when a guy pays more attention to me than normal I may hope for something more but I don't get my hopes up.
I actually think it can be the same way with guys. There was a guy in my Bible study last summer who I started talking to a little one time just to be friendly, he was a freshman and didn't know too many people. The next thing I know he's constantly talking to me (interrupting me when I'm with others) and always trying to sit by me. Then he got my screen name and as soon as I wasn't idle he would send me and IM, it got a little creepy. Then he asked me to a movie and I had to tell him that I was only interested in a friendship with him. There's been a couple of other occasions when I talked to a guy that they started to get attached.

clearly the problem is with women

Hey now!

Haha. Yup, it's all our fault.

But as I said a few posts ago, I've been guilty of it, too, so it isn't just a guy thing.

I'm still for making friends of the opposite sex, too. I tend to get along better with men than with women. (Yeah, I'm weird)

I'm the same way, I'm sure I'm somewhat guilty of leading people on too, I think we all are.
I also feel that I get along better with men then women. I'm not interested in a lot of girly things and didn't grow up that way either, I was expected to do all sorts of stuff around the house which included helping in the shop and stuff outdoors.

 

[intricatic]

Use logical faculties and do not trust emotional capacity to determine whether "this is an authentic interest" that the other party is sharing with you.

 

[Gardener101]

Haha. Yup, it's all our fault.

But as I said a few posts ago, I've been guilty of it, too, so it isn't just a guy thing.

I'm still for making friends of the opposite sex, too. I tend to get along better with men than with women. (Yeah, I'm weird)

You're not. Most women seem to say that. I think it is something to do with the attention and adoration they get from male friends.

By the way, Simmering Absolute, I'm sure you were kidding when you put the blame squarely on women right? Men also feel women are leading them on when the women pay them compliments etc

 

[Macrina]

You're not. Most women seem to say that. I think it is something to do with the attention and adoration they get from male friends.

Hmm, I'm not sure that "attention" and "adoration" would characterize my friendships with men.

For me, I think it's more that I just don't fit in with groups of women. I mean, I'm feminine (in that I'm not a tomboy), but I'm not into a lot of the things other women seem concerned about, especially other Christian women.

I guess this makes things tricky, because I like having friendships with guys and don't want them thinking I'm after them because I'm being friendly (awkward!). On the other hand, what if I AM interested in a guy? I'd just be friendly to him, right? So how is he supposed to know which it is? Guys don't have it very easy, do they?

 

[intricatic]

Guys are confused a lot of the time. You gotta hit 'em over the head with heavy things and be like "Hey! Look, here's a sign! Do you want me to interpret it for you?"

I speak this because I am a guy and I don't often get hit over the head with heavy things.

 

[KomissarSteve]

Guys are confused a lot of the time. You gotta hit 'em over the head with heavy things and be like "Hey! Look, here's a sign! Do you want me to interpret it for you?"

I speak this because I am a guy and I don't often get hit over the head with heavy things.

Boy howdy, tell me about it...I'm on the WAAAAAY perceptive end of the spectrum for guys, (it's because I read so much Tolstoy; nothing helps you understand human psychology better than Tolstoy) and there are still times when I haven't a blasted clue.