Kids are gross - Rant

[JAM2b]

**** I am not seeking advice. I am just expressing myself. Please read and respond accordingly. *****

Warning: This post is disgusting to read!

I love my sons very much, and I would not wish them away for anything. However, after 19 years of being a mom to these guys, I'm pretty tired of being disgusted.

We have all been sick with upper respiratory junk since before Thanksgiving. We are mostly well now, but there is still some coughing and some of it is productive. My youngest is terrible about spitting into the sink...and leaving it there. It makes me gag every time I see it. I don't know how many times I have told him to rinse it out. He doesn't do it. Just won't.

My oldest does not flush the toilet all the time, the younger one NEVER does. Ever. And they frequently miss their aim when they pee. Do they clean it up when they miss? NO! Of course not!

When the trash is full, they continue to chunk more trash at the trash can, and it falls on the floor. Or even when it is not full and they toss it and miss, it stays on the floor. When they take the trash out, if it is dirty or has something wet that leaked to the bottom, they just leave it, and put another bag on top of the wet, filthy stuff. I don't know how many times I have had to wash filth out of the trash cans. They don't care.

My oldest son wipes his nose on his hands or his sleeves, and then wipes it off on whatever piece of furniture he is sitting on. I blame their dad for this because he does the exact same thing! It's nasty.

I would just love to have one or two days without gagging. Please.

 

[Hammster]

I’m guessing that there’s no consequences for their actions, so there’s no real reason that they should change their behavior.

 

[JAM2b]

There are consequences, and I spent years making them go back and clean it up. Nothing ever changed.

 

[Hammster]

There are consequences, and I spent years making them go back and clean it up. Nothing ever changed.

Then the consequences weren’t severe enough. I have three boys, two who are teenagers. There’s no way that any of that behavior would be allowed to continue.

 

[SkyWriting]

Warning: This post is disgusting to read!

I love my sons very much, and I would not wish them away for anything. However, after 19 years of being a mom to these guys, I'm pretty tired of being disgusted.

We have all been sick with upper respiratory junk since before Thanksgiving. We are mostly well now, but there is still some coughing and some of it is productive. My youngest is terrible about spitting into the sink...and leaving it there. It makes me gag every time I see it. I don't know how many times I have told him to rinse it out. He doesn't do it. Just won't.

My oldest does not flush the toilet all the time, the younger one NEVER does. Ever. And they frequently miss their aim when they pee. Do they clean it up when they miss? NO! Of course not!

When the trash is full, they continue to chunk more trash at the trash can, and it falls on the floor. Or even when it is not full and they toss it and miss, it stays on the floor. When they take the trash out, if it is dirty or has something wet that leaked to the bottom, they just leave it, and put another bag on top of the wet, filthy stuff. I don't know how many times I have had to wash filth out of the trash cans. They don't care.

My oldest son wipes his nose on his hands or his sleeves, and then wipes it off on whatever piece of furniture he is sitting on. I blame their dad for this because he does the exact same thing! It's nasty.

I would just love to have one or two days without gagging. Please.

There are scores of book on psychology and persuasion. Check the self help section first. When you learn about yourself, you will also understand more about others. It's also much easier to change what you do than to think others will change first. They won't change first. Work on your persuasion skills.

 

[JAM2b]

Hammster, you're judging without details. I didn't ask for an evaluation. It was just a rant, not advice seeking.

 

[Hammster]

You're judging without details. I didn't ask for an evaluation. It was just a rant, not advice seeking.

Sorry, then. Just rant to strangers, and maybe things will get better.

 

[A_Thinker]

Warning: This post is disgusting to read!

I love my sons very much, and I would not wish them away for anything. However, after 19 years of being a mom to these guys, I'm pretty tired of being disgusted.

We have all been sick with upper respiratory junk since before Thanksgiving. We are mostly well now, but there is still some coughing and some of it is productive. My youngest is terrible about spitting into the sink...and leaving it there. It makes me gag every time I see it. I don't know how many times I have told him to rinse it out. He doesn't do it. Just won't.

My oldest does not flush the toilet all the time, the younger one NEVER does. Ever. And they frequently miss their aim when they pee. Do they clean it up when they miss? NO! Of course not!

When the trash is full, they continue to chunk more trash at the trash can, and it falls on the floor. Or even when it is not full and they toss it and miss, it stays on the floor. When they take the trash out, if it is dirty or has something wet that leaked to the bottom, they just leave it, and put another bag on top of the wet, filthy stuff. I don't know how many times I have had to wash filth out of the trash cans. They don't care.

My oldest son wipes his nose on his hands or his sleeves, and then wipes it off on whatever piece of furniture he is sitting on. I blame their dad for this because he does the exact same thing! It's nasty.

I would just love to have one or two days without gagging. Please.

How young is your youngest ???

 

[JAM2b]

Hammster, that was passive aggressive

 

[JAM2b]

My youngest is 14

 

[Hammster]

Hammster, that was passive aggressive

Probably. But I don’t see the point of complaining unless you want to do something about it. Maybe that is just me, though.

 

[*LILAC]

Funny! My 19 year old just cleared out his nose, tossed the kleenex in the direction of the open garbage can and it landed with a solid THUNK on the floor right beside it. I just checked now again, to see if he'd cleaned it up and he hadn't. I asked him nice to pick it up. "Yeah, yeah..." he did clean it up before I set ta hollerin'. Yes, kids are gross and nasty. If things don't get done, I shut it all down. If it plugs into a wall, it becomes unplugged until I'm happy. lol

 

[JAM2b]

Sometimes people just need to vent and be listened to. People underestimate the value of that, and how compassionate it can be. I had also thought maybe some other parents are tired of their kids behaviors that are gross, and might want to get it off their chest or have someone to relate to. No advice needed. No judgement involved.

I did not give every detail of the situations my sons and I face or how I respond to behaviors, because it was not necessary. I don't feel the need to share every detail in everything I post about my kids. I have shared other details in other threads, but I usually don't want advice. I just want to express myself or ask for prayer. I typically don't seek advice from strangers on the internet. I'm just here to connect and talk. I have professionals, a church, a handful of trusted friends, and my own knowledge and experience with my boys to draw on.

When I am seeking advice, I usually post in "Christian Advice."

 

[Hammster]

Funny! My 19 year old just cleared out his nose, tossed the kleenex in the direction of the open garbage can and it landed with a solid THUNK on the floor right beside it. I just checked now again, to see if he'd cleaned it up and he hadn't. I asked him nice to pick it up. "Yeah, yeah..." he did clean it up before I set ta hollerin'. Yes, kids are gross and nasty. If things don't get done, I shut it all down. If it plugs into a wall, it becomes unplugged until I'm happy. lol

It’s amazing how well unplugging things works.

 

[A_Thinker]

Probably. But I don’t see the point of complaining unless you want to do something about it. Maybe that is just me, though.

That's the typical male point of view.

Females occasionally need to vent ...

 

[*LILAC]

If you need to rant and not want opinions or stories from others to relate, then keep a blog. Or, as I do, write in an actual journal. I find it helps to vent MY thoughts and MY feelings offline and most of all, it's private with no chance of it leaking online for all to see. I keep a general rule of "if I don't want my kids to read about themselves on the internet, it's MY job to keep it OFF the internet." I totally get the rant but when you post it on a public forum, you're bound to get wanted/unwanted results.

 

[JAM2b]

I thought putting the word "Rant" in the title was self explanatory. Many people on this message board have a problem of giving unwanted and sometimes unneeded advice. If someone isn't asking for advice, there's a chance they don't want it or need it. Even if they do need it, to give it without being asked is rude. It's presumptuous and arrogant.

Plus, advice giving can be very unfair to the giver and the receiver. If they follow advice, and it turns out bad, then they trusted you and it wasn't the answer they needed. If they depend on you for answers and don't get it, they can resent you when you haven't done anything wrong. If someone's advice is rejected, then sometimes the advice giver becomes judgemental or condescending like happened in this thread.

Some of y'all like to tell people how to handle things, but you don't like it when they have a boundary they want you to respect.

 

[Hammster]

If you need to rant and not want opinions or stories from others to relate, then keep a blog. Or, as I do, write in an actual journal. I find it helps to vent MY thoughts and MY feelings offline and most of all, it's private with no chance of it leaking online for all to see. I keep a general rule of "if I don't want my kids to read about themselves on the internet, it's MY job to keep it OFF the internet." I totally get the rant but when you post it on a public forum, you're bound to get wanted/unwanted results.

And if it’s unwanted (especially on an open forum such as this) it’s okay to just say thanks and move on.

 

[brinny]

In my opinion parents have the right to rant and vent as much as they need to.

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

And what IS it about boys and bathrooms? Their bathrooms are the naaaaaastiest ever LOL!

God BLESS all the parents.

 

[JAM2b]

And if it’s unwanted (especially on an open forum such as this) it’s okay to just say thanks and move on.

I tried something similar to that, by explaining that I wasn't wanting advice, and I got a passive aggressive response from you. And you continue to try telling me what to do, by telling me how I should have responded. And how do I "move on" when the thread is still active and it's still being discussed? It would be rude and flakey of me if I "moved on" from a thread I started.