Just diagnosed with Asperger's...

[celestialpearl]

I'm reaching out I guess.

Since I have such a hard time making friends and keeping those friendships going, maybe I can find some friends who understand where I'm coming from!

This is huge change, previously I was diagnosed with Adhd and Odd as a child and as an adult PD, Agoraphobia, and Borderline Personality Disorder. Has anyone had a similar experience? My brain goes blank when I'm talking to my therapist and I never think about the questions I want to ask until I'm home. I'd love to hear anyone else's experience and especially being diagnosed as an adult. (I'm 26)

I've always spoken in a way that (I've been told) is sometimes interpreted as formal or snobbish, yet it's completely unintentional. People make jokes and I don't get them.. I think a lot of people view me as too serious and too passionate about what I'm interested in. Just yesterday in a conversation someone's response to me was to 'loosen up'. I wasn't aware I came off as uptight.

It makes it difficult to create new friendships. None of these issues were ever addressed with my other diagnosis!

I feel hopeful that people who understand Asperger's and ASD could understand me a bit better than most, and maybe have a chance at some real friendships!

Any resources would be appreciated too, this is all new to me! Thanks in advance!

 

[faroukfarouk]

I'm reaching out I guess.

Since I have such a hard time making friends and keeping those friendships going, maybe I can find some friends who understand where I'm coming from!

This is huge change, previously I was diagnosed with Adhd and Odd as a child and as an adult PD, Agoraphobia, and Borderline Personality Disorder. Has anyone had a similar experience? My brain goes blank when I'm talking to my therapist and I never think about the questions I want to ask until I'm home. I'd love to hear anyone else's experience and especially being diagnosed as an adult. (I'm 26)

I've always spoken in a way that (I've been told) is sometimes interpreted as formal or snobbish, yet it's completely unintentional. People make jokes and I don't get them.. I think a lot of people view me as too serious and too passionate about what I'm interested in. Just yesterday in a conversation someone's response to me was to 'loosen up'. I wasn't aware I came off as uptight.

It makes it difficult to create new friendships. None of these issues were ever addressed with my other diagnosis!

I feel hopeful that people who understand Asperger's and ASD could understand me a bit better than most, and maybe have a chance at some real friendships!

Any resources would be appreciated too, this is all new to me! Thanks in advance!

Whatever the exact medical term is, and however objective or subjective the usual tests are, you have an advantage over the therapists and psychologists who engage in a lot of analysis that can sometimes be absorbing and even self-absorbing: you understand the importance spiritually of 'looking unto Jesus' (Hebrews 12.2), which secular experts find baffling.

 

[Barney]

I don't know anything about Asperger's. But, most people only want friends for how they benefit from those friends. As for their jokes, just chuckle, whether you get it or not. There's probably nothing to get, most people aren't that witty. You need to work on appearing more relaxed and laid-back.

 

[faroukfarouk]

@celestialpearl In summary, you know that "ye must be born again" (John chapter 3), which puts you at an incomparable advantage over secular psychological experts.

 

[celestialpearl]

Perhaps a better way to phrase it, is my mind works in a slightly different way. There are other people whose minds also work in a way similar to mine and we might be able to communicate and get along better!

As for analysis and self absorption, I've struggled with it! I agree there is a definite downside to diagnosis etc. There is also an upside to understanding yourself better though, and finding people whom you can relate to.

I'm of the mind that everyone on this earth could have some kind of mental diagnosis, it's only logical as no one is perfect!

I'm posting here rather than an Asperger's forum, because I'd much rather have Christian friends, ones who can also understand some of my struggles.

 

[celestialpearl]

I don't know anything about Asperger's. But, most people only want friends for how they benefit from those friends. As for their jokes, just chuckle, whether you get it or not. There's probably nothing to get, most people aren't that witty. You need to work on appearing more relaxed and laid-back.

The problem isn't getting the joke, it's recognizing that it's a joke! One of my problems is I take things literally, it leads to people not liking me. For example, I say something, they say a joke, I take it literally and they get offended. Then I feel bad!

 

[Barney]

The problem isn't getting the joke, it's recognizing that it's a joke! One of my problems is I take things literally, it leads to people not liking me. For example, I say something, they say a joke, I take it literally and they get offended. Then I feel bad!

If they say something that is silly when taken literally, then chuckle.

 

[Darkhorse]

Welcome to the club! Lots of aspies here on CF.

One of my sons has Asperger's, the other has high-functioning autism.

There are many people here who understand your situation.

 

[Dave-W]

I'm posting here rather than an Asperger's forum,

I think ya got moved .....

 

[RC1970]

I'm reaching out I guess.

Since I have such a hard time making friends and keeping those friendships going, maybe I can find some friends who understand where I'm coming from!

This is huge change, previously I was diagnosed with Adhd and Odd as a child and as an adult PD, Agoraphobia, and Borderline Personality Disorder. Has anyone had a similar experience? My brain goes blank when I'm talking to my therapist and I never think about the questions I want to ask until I'm home. I'd love to hear anyone else's experience and especially being diagnosed as an adult. (I'm 26)

I've always spoken in a way that (I've been told) is sometimes interpreted as formal or snobbish, yet it's completely unintentional. People make jokes and I don't get them.. I think a lot of people view me as too serious and too passionate about what I'm interested in. Just yesterday in a conversation someone's response to me was to 'loosen up'. I wasn't aware I came off as uptight.

It makes it difficult to create new friendships. None of these issues were ever addressed with my other diagnosis!

I feel hopeful that people who understand Asperger's and ASD could understand me a bit better than most, and maybe have a chance at some real friendships!

Any resources would be appreciated too, this is all new to me! Thanks in advance!

I also have Asperger's. If you are kind, helpful and generous, you will have many friends.

 

[celestialpearl]

I think ya got moved .....

I meant on CF, rather than an Autism-focused set of forums.

 

[faroukfarouk]

The problem isn't getting the joke, it's recognizing that it's a joke! One of my problems is I take things literally, it leads to people not liking me. For example, I say something, they say a joke, I take it literally and they get offended. Then I feel bad!

Okay so take a Hispanic person who knows English very well indeed: s/he works in Chicago and then moves to St John's, Newfoundland.

Then a Newfoundlander says something mildly funny.

The Hispanic person goes to a friend and wonders if s/he has quite understood the nuance.

You see? what you describe happens frequently, whether or not it is recognized as a condition.

I don't deny the condition (I'm not qualified to say anything about it, in fact.)

But others who aren't given this diagnosis often go through some very similar situations. Christians from all walks of life and backgrounds in a local church also face this, often.

 

[Dave-W]

But others who aren't given this diagnosis often go through some very similar situations.

Right. My middle daughter (mother of an Aspie) thinks I may be an undiagnosed Aspie myself.

 

[Darkhorse]

Right. My middle daughter (mother of an Aspie) thinks I may be an undiagnosed Aspie myself.

Me too (undiagnosed)

 

[celestialpearl]

Thanks for the thoughtful posts!

I'm not sure if I'm being misunderstood here, I wasn't complaining or asking for sympathy. In fact I'm ecstatic! Going from a misdiagnosis of a mental illness that has a lot of negative stigma attached to the proper diagnosis (that without a doubt has a lot less negative stigma) allows me meet others with similar differences and have the proper tools for coping with my problems.

My explanation of the joke matter was really more like 'look I'm not the only weird one, I'm so happy!'

 

[faroukfarouk]

Thanks for the thoughtful posts!

I'm not sure if I'm being misunderstood here, I wasn't complaining or asking for sympathy. In fact I'm ecstatic! Going from a misdiagnosis of a mental illness that has a lot of negative stigma attached to the proper diagnosis (that without a doubt has a lot less negative stigma) allows me meet others with similar differences and have the proper tools for coping with my problems.

My explanation of the joke matter was really more like 'look I'm not the only weird one, I'm so happy!'

Great you have the evident maturity of character to take it positively!

 

[Sabertooth]

I thought that I would say "Hi" over here, too. I have a theory that the autistic personality-type is the same as the prophet/prophecy personality-type mentioned in Romans 12:6-8.

 

[celestialpearl]

Hi!

That's an interesting theory! I'll have to think on that.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi!

That's an interesting theory! I'll have to think on that.

 

[Sabertooth]

If you read about prophets [in this context; not the office of Prophet], they are said to be black & white thinkers, who resonate with the sense of order afforded in the Law/holiness. They still recognize Grace, Repentance & Salvation, but advocate that (once saved) walking in obedience to Jesus' commands and the Word, generally, is the best place to be, spiritually. And, upon failing, repenting (per 1 John 1:9) and returning to that place of obedience.

Those inclinations parallel the Aspie experience.