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Beautyinsteadofashes

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Hello all. I am just curious to find out more about obsessive compulsive disorder. If its alright, I have some questions about it. Like, what is it like to live with this illness? How has it impacted relationships, if at all? And anything else yall may want to share.
 

timewerx

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I'd say minor impact if you can manage it, especially time management (losing a lot of time with OCD, you need to watch it closely). My parents think it's cute. My friends find it hilarious and I don't make a big deal of it even though I wrecked a door knob before. It's even beneficial to my job, I make very little mistakes in my job as a result.
 
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Mari17

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Everyone has a different experience with OCD...mine has mostly been moral/religious OCD, and I also had the classic fear of contamination (with hand-washing compulsion) as a child. Living with it can be devastating, as an obsessive person's brain makes them doubt what is actually true. Basically, we focus on the doubt, on the 1% chance that something is wrong instead of the 99% chance that it is right. For example, during my fear of contamination I would be in agony about whether or not something (say, the bathroom sink handle) was dirty. I would wipe it down, stare at it, etc., etc., afraid that it was still "dirty," feeling like there must be some miniscule piece of dirt somewhere. To a "normal" person, of course, there is the logical recognition that a possible tiny amount of dirt is not a big deal. But an obsessive person focuses on that one piece of dirt, on the small chance that it is dirty. It feels like the worst thing in the world, and they have to be 100% sure that it's totally clean. Usually OCD focuses on specific fears/themes, and as one gets solved it moves to another. It usually latches onto something it thinks will bother the sufferer intensely - so someone with a germ/contamination obsession might be terrified that they'll get themselves or someone else sick, which makes it seem like the worst thing in the world if there's even a chance that their hands or some other object is dirty. Common obsessive themes are fear of lying/cheating, fear of making an unwanted vow (e.g. to give up something you love), fear of praying to devil, fear of committing a violent act, etc. An obsessive person's brain is not strong enough to grapple logically with these themes - that is to say, they do know the truth, but it's overshadowed by a cloud of doubt, and they go round and round with those doubts and overanalyze things to death. For example, with the fear of making an unwanted vow, they will think, "Well, I think I might have just told God that I would give up reading forever." (They actually haven't they're just afraid that they have.) They're not sure, but there's that chance, so then they become terrified that they SHOULD give up reading forever, and fall into a cycle of trying to figure out whether or not they did make a vow. Having OCD is basically like having a SUPER sensitive mind/conscience, and an ability to way overanalyze things. The physical explanation is that obsessive people lack the chemical serotonin in their brains, so they don't process some thoughts as smoothly as non-obsessive people would. Where a non-obsessive person would say, "Oh yeah, that's a weird thought," and move on, an obsessive person gets stuck on it and starts worrying that it's true.

As for how OCD affects relationships - it depends, I guess. My parents have been amazingly patient and supportive, but I know they got frustrated sometimes with me when I kept coming to them with the same questions over and over. Because people with OCD are never sure about their worry, and always come up with a new angle from which to doubt it, a common compulsion (way they try to feel better) is by asking questions about it - over and over and over. "Do you think I made a vow? What if I thought this? Well then, what if I thought this? What if I said/thought this particular word? What if I felt this way when I think my mind said the vow? Does that make it a real vow?" Etc. I think it's frustrating sometimes for non-obsessive people to deal with obsessive people, because of course they see the logic in the matter and to them it's so easily solved. "It's not a big deal! Just get over it!" But to the obsessive person, it feels like a matter of life and death. Thankfully, there are ways to break the obsessive cycle and to think and act almost normally. Some people take meds and do ERP/CBT therapy, and these therapeutic techniques are usually the best way to break the cycle. Basically, it's acting against the obsessive fear and refusing to give in to whatever it's telling the person to do. So, refusing to wash hands excessively, refusing to keep asking for reassurance, etc. It's excruciatingly hard for a person with OCD to do this because they're so focused on the doubts and fears that their thinking is skewed and they feel like they can't judge normally (e.g. "How do I know I've washed my hands enough?") but if they keep acting against the fear and attempting to do only what's reasonable, their way of thinking adjusts and they are able to see clearly again. It's like they know the truth deep down inside, but they let a pile of doubt and worry bury it. Hope this helps!
 
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Beautyinsteadofashes

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I'd say minor impact if you can manage it, especially time management (losing a lot of time with OCD, you need to watch it closely). My parents think it's cute. My friends find it hilarious and I don't make a big deal of it even though I wrecked a door knob before. It's even beneficial to my job, I make very little mistakes in my job as a result.
I have a co-worker who is about 17 years old and he has OCD and is a very good worker. He is very thorough. :)
 
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Ahermit

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A simple answer, yet requiring as much faith as there is fear to overcome it.
OCD is believing the fear of not being okay unless certain situations (of certainty) are in place. The only way to overcome the fear is to take a risk (faith in action) that you (true-self, not ego-self) will be okay regardless if the situation proves differently.

To overcome OCD is to be prepared for anything. And that requires a faith, a deeper knowing, that they will be okay regardless of any uncertainty.

Putting such faith in the least fearful obsessions is the starting point, and then work towards the more fearful ones, knowing that you were okay through the previous risk taking decisions.

Facing our fears is the only way to demythicize them.
 
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Beautyinsteadofashes

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Hello all. I am just curious to find out more about obsessive compulsive disorder. If its alright, I have some questions about it. Like, what is it like to live with this illness? How has it impacted relationships, if at all? And anything else yall may want to share.
My son has some quirks. He's only four, so its hard to tell what behaviors are just him being a kid, and what behaviors are signs of something else.
But his biggest thing is his food must not be broken, torn, crumbled or cut. If he gets a cookie, for example, and chunk breaks off, he will cry "oh no! Its broken!" At first, when this behavior started, he would have a good tantrum over it and outright refuse to eat the cookie or whatever it may have been. Now, he still initially gets upset but I can tell him (in some cases) "hey, look at it this way, its like you have TWO now!" or sometimes a simple "its okay, it still tastes the same, its just in two pieces." works too.
Another thing is sand in his shoes. Goodness. He will have me over the trash can just tapping his shoes away. And ill show him that I've gotten the sand out (with sandals I take a baby wipe and wipe those suckers down. So I know the sand is gone.) If we are at home where he has multiple shoe options, he will refuse the shoes, insisting they are still sandy. If we are out somewhere and those are the only shoes he has to wear, he will reluctantly put them back on after cleaning off as much sand as possible.
Today while out at lunch, my son really wanted to get back to his chair by pulling out his sister's highchair and walking in front of it. I told him he could walk around it. He refused and had a terrible tantrum. He cried fairly hard and for a good amount of time. He got pretty upset and began hitting me. His baby sister thought it was a game and she started hitting me to giggling as she did. Big brother still didn't calm down so baby sis started patting his shoulder gently and stroking his hair. I don't know where she gets such sweetness and affection. (>>me<<) lol
Big brother is tender and affectionate as well. When not having a tantrum in subway.
I feel bad because I smacked the back of my son's hand when he hit me. A couple minutes later I tried asking him why he was so upset. I think he said something about because I didn't let him get his own drink. ( he had a drink... it's that he wanted to refill it at the beverage bar himself. But this would have resulted in a big mess and he would have mixed several drinks in his cup.) So I did it for him. But he also seemed really upset when I stopped him from walking in front of his sisters chair. I told him to walk around and he kept refusing me telling me no.
I really have no idea if my son has ocd or anything else or if he is just being four. But for those of you with Ocd, or perhaps who are parents of children with it, how do you recommend handling it when a child gets upset over a compulsion? Say for instance my son was having a compulsion to walk in front of the high chair, should I have let him? In other words...should a parent of an ocd child just go with the flow and let them play out whatever compulsion they have...be it hand washing or what have you. OR...try and stop the behavior? For example, not letting him walk in front of the high chair. Or stop him from compulsively washing his hands. ?
 
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timewerx

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I have a co-worker who is about 17 years old and he has OCD and is a very good worker. He is very thorough. :)

Indeed! The only problem is the speed. I tend to be slower than usual due to "paranoid checking". And the only way I could work as fast or even faster than my co-workers is to automate the spreadsheets I use. With automation, I have a lot less things to check...or...it gives me a lot more time to check.
 
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timewerx

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Everyone has a different experience with OCD...mine has mostly been moral/religious OCD, and I also had the classic fear of contamination (with hand-washing compulsion) as a child.

I also have moral/religious OCD. I am quite thorough when I studied the Bible and saw many contradicting teachings/principles.

It led me to become doubtful of almost any Bible teaching. And it's hard to be convinced when I asked someone about a particular conflicting teaching and they can't explain it with reason/logic...

On such note, I also have reason/logic OCD. I get a little furious and irritated when something doesn't make sense. I don't express such emotions though and keep it under control. However, I do believe in Christ because of supernatural experiences I had and Christ visiting me in dreams and actually talking sense.
 
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Mari17

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My son has some quirks. He's only four, so its hard to tell what behaviors are just him being a kid, and what behaviors are signs of something else.
But his biggest thing is his food must not be broken, torn, crumbled or cut. If he gets a cookie, for example, and chunk breaks off, he will cry "oh no! Its broken!" At first, when this behavior started, he would have a good tantrum over it and outright refuse to eat the cookie or whatever it may have been. Now, he still initially gets upset but I can tell him (in some cases) "hey, look at it this way, its like you have TWO now!" or sometimes a simple "its okay, it still tastes the same, its just in two pieces." works too.
Another thing is sand in his shoes. Goodness. He will have me over the trash can just tapping his shoes away. And ill show him that I've gotten the sand out (with sandals I take a baby wipe and wipe those suckers down. So I know the sand is gone.) If we are at home where he has multiple shoe options, he will refuse the shoes, insisting they are still sandy. If we are out somewhere and those are the only shoes he has to wear, he will reluctantly put them back on after cleaning off as much sand as possible.
Today while out at lunch, my son really wanted to get back to his chair by pulling out his sister's highchair and walking in front of it. I told him he could walk around it. He refused and had a terrible tantrum. He cried fairly hard and for a good amount of time. He got pretty upset and began hitting me. His baby sister thought it was a game and she started hitting me to giggling as she did. Big brother still didn't calm down so baby sis started patting his shoulder gently and stroking his hair. I don't know where she gets such sweetness and affection. (>>me<<) lol
Big brother is tender and affectionate as well. When not having a tantrum in subway.
I feel bad because I smacked the back of my son's hand when he hit me. A couple minutes later I tried asking him why he was so upset. I think he said something about because I didn't let him get his own drink. ( he had a drink... it's that he wanted to refill it at the beverage bar himself. But this would have resulted in a big mess and he would have mixed several drinks in his cup.) So I did it for him. But he also seemed really upset when I stopped him from walking in front of his sisters chair. I told him to walk around and he kept refusing me telling me no.
I really have no idea if my son has ocd or anything else or if he is just being four. But for those of you with Ocd, or perhaps who are parents of children with it, how do you recommend handling it when a child gets upset over a compulsion? Say for instance my son was having a compulsion to walk in front of the high chair, should I have let him? In other words...should a parent of an ocd child just go with the flow and let them play out whatever compulsion they have...be it hand washing or what have you. OR...try and stop the behavior? For example, not letting him walk in front of the high chair. Or stop him from compulsively washing his hands. ?

I'm not sure I can give the best advice about this as I don't have children. :) It's hard to tell what's OCD in a child that young, and some children exhibit obsessive tendencies without ever having OCD. I believe I was a particular child - my mom tells me that I hated being dirty, and had certain quirks such as needing her to walk on the same step I was on when going down the stairs (but I didn't develop real OCD until I was about seven or eight). As your child gets older you may get more of a sense of what's OCD and what's not. Usually with OCD there's some fear involved, but it's hard to tell that with a four-year-old. I'm not a big fan of coddling children so I'd be hesitant to just assume everything is OCD - some might be pure stubbornness. But then, if it is OCD, that would be a whole different story, because there would be anxiety pressuring your child to do certain things. I like your idea of treating his quirks casually and with good humor, as in the cookie example. Maybe it would be helpful to research different manifestations of OCD in young children. I'd definitely be on the lookout for trademark obsessions - I know some of the ones I had as a child were fear of germs (which led to excessive handwashing) and fear of lying (so I could never say anything definitely, it was always framed with a lot of "I think"s and "maybe"s even if it was just my opinion).
 
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timewerx

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I really have no idea if my son has ocd or anything else or if he is just being four. But for those of you with Ocd, or perhaps who are parents of children with it, how do you recommend handling it when a child gets upset over a compulsion? Say for instance my son was having a compulsion to walk in front of the high chair, should I have let him? In other words...should a parent of an ocd child just go with the flow and let them play out whatever compulsion they have...be it hand washing or what have you. OR...try and stop the behavior? For example, not letting him walk in front of the high chair. Or stop him from compulsively washing his hands. ?

I can't be of much help giving advice regarding your son.

I had mild OCD since teens (I don't think I had it in my childhood but I remember being a bit perfectionist in the things I do like in hobbies) and becoming worse in my late twenties. It was during an extremely stressful time, lost a job, lost a lot of things. I adapted to the situation and the process worsened OCD and can't get rid it.

I still get irritated with things like dirty shoes. I just don't express it as much as I did before, perhaps, being much older now.
 
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dabro

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There is HOCD, POCD ROCD and many other forms of Pure O OCD. I have Pure O OCD and the doc's just think it's classic walk on a crack break your mother's back type of OCD. NO>. When ever I read Revelations I start to freak out or when a preacher starts talking about hell I start to spike in anxiety.

The only real way is thru. To push thru it with ERP. But, this is very difficult for someone who has big fears and hates facing them.

The theme I had before my Religion theme was I feared I was going to hurt children. This is a legit OCD PURE O at it's nastiest form. Look it up on google.

Doc's nowadays don't even see it when you try to tell them because there hasn't been a whole lot of time and money put into it.

All I did was numb it with klonopin but what that did was reinforce that fear that I'll never get over my fears. My fears are also rooted in backsliding so that can be a big trigger too. Just sayin.
 
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