I am still experiencing the absence of God in my life. I have been a believer for a long time (20+ years). Since about a month ago, I feel disconnected from him.
I am hoping that I did not commit the sin that leads to death. If so, then he's done with me.
My head constantly hurts from my insomnia and I can never fall asleep at night anymore. My arms hurt and my legs hurt from lack of rest. My chest is sore. I am emotionless and have apathy. And the meds that I'm taking are not making things any better.
Lately, I have started to become suicidal. If God is done with me, then he is not looking out for my good anymore. I hope that I am wrong about this.
I have been blessed with all of his blessings since I was born. He was always looking out for me through school, college, and even getting a job. Having served him for so long, why would he suddenly leave now? I was a wellspring of emotion before this incident and I feel like that well is all dried up now.
I need a miracle. If God is still looking out for me, he will grant it. Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense to continue.
And yes. I know that prayer works. Having been faithful for so many years, I've seen a lot of God's work done through prayer.
So yeah. I'm just about done. I don't want to give up quite yet though...
I am hoping that I did not commit the sin that leads to death. If so, then he's done with me.
My head constantly hurts from my insomnia and I can never fall asleep at night anymore. My arms hurt and my legs hurt from lack of rest. My chest is sore. I am emotionless and have apathy. And the meds that I'm taking are not making things any better.
Lately, I have started to become suicidal. If God is done with me, then he is not looking out for my good anymore. I hope that I am wrong about this.
I have been blessed with all of his blessings since I was born. He was always looking out for me through school, college, and even getting a job. Having served him for so long, why would he suddenly leave now? I was a wellspring of emotion before this incident and I feel like that well is all dried up now.
I need a miracle. If God is still looking out for me, he will grant it. Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense to continue.
And yes. I know that prayer works. Having been faithful for so many years, I've seen a lot of God's work done through prayer.
So yeah. I'm just about done. I don't want to give up quite yet though...