I came to Jesus very reluctantly, I was very stubborn, and although He punished me (to be born again and stop living in sin) with various diseases, injuries, etc., I was still consciously doing evil, but I was changing slowly, I began to understand what was happening. Before God began punishing me, I was absorbed with the world and the lusts of the flesh.
A few years ago God decided He had to "help" me because I was reluctant and unwilling to come to Him and repent of my sins, I had a dead faith, I believed in Jesus, in His sacrifice for the sins of the whole world, but I was not bearing fruit.
In about 10 months I received: spine and shoulder injuries; mental illnesses: depression, neurosis, anxiety, suicidal thoughts. God did this to end my idolatry, it wasn't easy, but with time I understood.
Slow spiritual change has been going on since then, but I wasn't born again until 2020, when the world began to openly pursue a one-world government of antichrist. Then I made a decision that I had to do something, despite the biblical knowledge, the knowledge of what the world looks like, I was still living in sin for about 2 years, but then I was born again and started to sincerely fight against sin, I pray, I read God's Word .
I feel this year 2021 is a year of crisis of my faith, I have consciously committed disgusting sins, example: yesterday I got drunk and did evil to peoples strangers, I did it out of jealousy for their "better, happy life", even though most of them are unsaved from this moment.
It is hard for me when people of a similar age are born beautiful, tall, intelligent, etc.
I'm a rather average man, and even ugly, I'm just unattractive to women, it hurts.
Another sin is impurity (different kinds), I used to be really stronger spiritually in Jesus, currently because of problems in my life I am stressed and tense and I am doing these disgusting sins.
I pray for a release from the bondage of all these sins, I read the Word of God, I trust Jesus that He will save me, He will take me away, it is hard, very hard. I do not want to continue living in such a corrupt world, but the grace of Jesus saves me, my Savior gives me hope for a better life after death. I fight every day, even though every day there are bad thoughts in my head ...
A few years ago God decided He had to "help" me because I was reluctant and unwilling to come to Him and repent of my sins, I had a dead faith, I believed in Jesus, in His sacrifice for the sins of the whole world, but I was not bearing fruit.
In about 10 months I received: spine and shoulder injuries; mental illnesses: depression, neurosis, anxiety, suicidal thoughts. God did this to end my idolatry, it wasn't easy, but with time I understood.
Slow spiritual change has been going on since then, but I wasn't born again until 2020, when the world began to openly pursue a one-world government of antichrist. Then I made a decision that I had to do something, despite the biblical knowledge, the knowledge of what the world looks like, I was still living in sin for about 2 years, but then I was born again and started to sincerely fight against sin, I pray, I read God's Word .
I feel this year 2021 is a year of crisis of my faith, I have consciously committed disgusting sins, example: yesterday I got drunk and did evil to peoples strangers, I did it out of jealousy for their "better, happy life", even though most of them are unsaved from this moment.
It is hard for me when people of a similar age are born beautiful, tall, intelligent, etc.
I'm a rather average man, and even ugly, I'm just unattractive to women, it hurts.
Another sin is impurity (different kinds), I used to be really stronger spiritually in Jesus, currently because of problems in my life I am stressed and tense and I am doing these disgusting sins.
I pray for a release from the bondage of all these sins, I read the Word of God, I trust Jesus that He will save me, He will take me away, it is hard, very hard. I do not want to continue living in such a corrupt world, but the grace of Jesus saves me, my Savior gives me hope for a better life after death. I fight every day, even though every day there are bad thoughts in my head ...
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