Its Been So Hard

[Hermit7]

I don't know why things are not working out for me. I know I'm suppose to not worry when an OCD thought comes to mind but they're becoming so hard to ignore lately. I dot know what to do:

1.) today I was coming back to my apartment and I saw someone that I think I knew. I didn't feel like talking to that person so I was hoping that she would t. Notice me. But then thought cameo to my mind that I would trade in my salvation for her not to notice me. Well she did t and I made into my apartment. And since I was carrying my laptop with me somehow the thought changed to: if I used my laptop in any way from that point on then that "bargain" will be valid. I went ahead and used it convincing. Yself that the thought didn't apply. But I'm becoming more and more worried about it.

2.) the other incident happened in the morning while I was still in bed. I was frustrated with the things I had to do including going to the groceries. It got so frustratIng to the point that The thought of me trading away my salvation to forego going to the groceries occurred in my mind. I wished it didn't happen. But now I'm afraid to go to the groceries at all for fear that Gods going to hold me to it.

Is any of this real? I'm going crazy.

Hermit

 

[Danny34]

No your not crazy, you just have an imbalances of chemicals happening in you brain, and also some faith needs to be built with God your Father who loves you. Who am I to tell you this? I'm just another wretch on this earth but through God I am loved and saved from this earth. I've thought myself crazy too, but I tend to not take it seriously and laugh. Look, all you have to do is trust God and don't think those "what if" questions. Research the Bible to kill those thoughts of bargaining your salvation. There is no such thing as barganing your salvation through normal acts. It's a scary thought yeah, but it's not real. You can go all your life thinking you're a dog even though obviously you aren't. Everybody will tell you you're a human, but you will doubt. Your birth certificate doesn't say "canine" anywhere. "I gotta be a dog because I think I am, I saw myself looking at a stake so deliciously the other day! I found fleas in my bed! I barked the other day!" Haha sorry if I sounded sarcastic but it's the truth. Did you even read my thread about religious OCD and scrupulosity?

 

[dabro]

Man bro I havn't heard of this type of OCD but, it is. I think getting on a SSRI and maybe a benzo would help calm you down.

 

[saved24]

I don't know why things are not working out for me. I know I'm suppose to not worry when an OCD thought comes to mind but they're becoming so hard to ignore lately. I dot know what to do:

1.) today I was coming back to my apartment and I saw someone that I think I knew. I didn't feel like talking to that person so I was hoping that she would t. Notice me. But then thought cameo to my mind that I would trade in my salvation for her not to notice me. Well she did t and I made into my apartment. And since I was carrying my laptop with me somehow the thought changed to: if I used my laptop in any way from that point on then that "bargain" will be valid. I went ahead and used it convincing. Yself that the thought didn't apply. But I'm becoming more and more worried about it.

2.) the other incident happened in the morning while I was still in bed. I was frustrated with the things I had to do including going to the groceries. It got so frustratIng to the point that The thought of me trading away my salvation to forego going to the groceries occurred in my mind. I wished it didn't happen. But now I'm afraid to go to the groceries at all for fear that Gods going to hold me to it.

Is any of this real? I'm going crazy.

Hermit

I don't think you would really want to trade your salvation. When I heard that it sounded like an expression, but still I think you should just say "sorry Lord for saying or thinking that, you know I would never trade what I have for that" and also rebuke the devil, sometimes it's him that gives us those thoughts too. He also likes to taunt us and I think he's the one who is saying, "if you get the groceries the Lord will hold you to it", once again rebuke him and say, I would NEVER trade my salvation for anything. Try to think about good things after that. Also change your negative words to something positive and the truth. Always nice to have a Bible verse handy too. God's Word is powerful.

I feel for you, and since I don't know a whole lot about OCD, I can't tell you anything about what a doctor might be able to tell you.

God bless you.

 

[fealty77]

I think your biggest fear is losing your salvation (which is impossible if you are already saved), but your OCD is focusing on that fear. Your salvation is probably one of the most important things in your life and that is always what OCD picks on. And of course the more you focus in it the more your fears are exaggerated. I pray you get through this and are seeking professional help from and OCD specialist so it doesn't get worse. I have never had that specific fear but mine have ranged from one subject that is important to me to another (my babies, my health, God, Jesus, killing or hurting others, etc...) And from my experience with OCD, the more you focus on the fearful thoughts the worse it gets. Just let it be and say,"well, if I lose my salvation for looking at my laptop then I guess I lose it." (even though you know that is not true...at least I hope you do. Please PM me if you need to talk. It can be a scary thing to go through.

 

[tripletiger1200]

I'll pray for you. Just remember not to get too discouraged, it'll be over one day.

 

[Anonymous User_]

Hermit7,

Totally have these kinds of thoughts pop into my head every day!

I just try and combat them with a cognitive rebuttal. I know that I would never trade Christ in for anything. Just because a thought pops into my head or I feel like I made a quick decision against Christ for a few seconds does not mean I'm not saved. These are not your real decisions. They are your OCD thoughts. They do not reflect what you REALLY believe; what is at the center of your will. An OCD person who has unwanted sexual thoughts pop into their heads about their friend does not mean that they have actually decided that their friend is a piece of meat they would crawl all over. The real 'them' of them is that they love and respect their friend and would never do anything to hurt them.