Is there a reason prospects thin out as you get older?

[sampa]

Are they married or going after younger women? I'm curious on your thoughts. It appears from some personal experiences more guys my age that I've known for years seem to go 5-7 years younger, while before they were closer to their own age. And after 35yrs old, it seems like many men are less interested.

And hello to everyone, I wish I could be more involved but still doing intetnet on the go and contending with health changes.

 

[Wren]

Well, less men are available because people are often married in their 30s and older. But I do think part of the problem of less prospects for women is that men prefer younger women, especially the older they get. On the one hand, it's frustrating to see women get passed by strictly because of their age for superficial reasons. On the other, I try to be understanding to the privilege men have of waiting to have kids and wanting a younger woman that they can have children with, but not right away after getting married.

Then there's the fact that single parents sometimes have a more difficult time finding a mate when the man (or woman, to a lesser extent) only wants to raise his own biological children. And the older women are, the more likely they are to have children.

In addition, I've heard men say (and write) that they prefer younger women because older women are stronger and less moldable.

 

[Inkachu]

Guys always tend to go for younger chicks. Just a fact of life. And of course there are going to be more single young guys; people get married as they get older. So by the time we hit our 30's and 40's, the guys are either married, divorced with kids, baggage, and custody nightmares, or going after girls 10 years younger than we are.

:shrugs:

 

[sampa]

THanks for your thoughts Historia. Yes, one personal example is a guy that Id become friends with many years ago, one year older. He had a girlfriend, but I liked him, strong christian guy living states away. I had a talk with him once and about our age and marriage. That its harder to start at age 40. He had a girlfriend at the time (2 yrs younger) while he was 34. After our talk/visit in chicago, he broke up with his girlfriend and decided he wanted to be married. I was surprised and then he started online distance stuff, the girl was late 20s. Didnt work when he bought a plane ticket to fly her out and then one day he ran into this girl that was a superfitness model, 28yrs old. And then he made her christian and married her according to him. I was a bit crushed.

In regular life I seem to have good opportunities for meeting guys until they find out my age and then some of them fade. Online its worse when your age is advertised. I get less and less answers, and morely just looks. I guess I'm making this too personal...Yes on average I think divorce, single mothers and all of that seems to steer away as I've personally been told by men. It seems nice that men have options as they age, while women they thin out.

 

[sampa]

Guys always tend to go for younger chicks. Just a fact of life. And of course there are going to be more single young guys; people get married as they get older. So by the time we hit our 30's and 40's, the guys are either married, divorced with kids, baggage, and custody nightmares, or going after girls 10 years younger than we are.

:shrugs:

Babe, I'd agree. Depressing but theres always those stories that encourage and at the same time it may weed out the bad ones.

 

[MehGuy]

Well women's skin start to lose their luster in their 30's so I can see why.

 

[Rhye]

THanks for your thoughts Historia. Yes, one personal example is a guy that Id become friends with many years ago, one year older. He had a girlfriend, but I liked him, strong christian guy living states away. I had a talk with him once and about our age and marriage. That its harder to start at age 40. He had a girlfriend at the time (2 yrs younger) while he was 34. After our talk/visit in chicago, he broke up with his girlfriend and decided he wanted to be married. I was surprised and then he started online distance stuff, the girl was late 20s. Didnt work when he bought a plane ticket to fly her out and then one day he ran into this girl that was a superfitness model, 28yrs old. And then he made her christian and married her according to him. I was a bit crushed.

I have been reading a blog lately that has been helping me a lot with what I have been going through. The term the blogger uses for someone like this is...As*clown and/or Mr. Unavailable.


I am so getting banned for this.



I don't know what to say right now I'll come back later, with a better, more supportive answer.

 

[white dove]

I think it can also be due to other life circumstances, as well. Could be that people who are older are more secure and thus, do not feel the need to have a spouse to "complete" them or their lives. They've done good so far with casual dating or with dating exclusively without a ring, so if it isn't broke, why fix it? Could be that a person's life history isn't all that wonderful and perhaps some bitterness has slipped in somewhere to the point where it - unbeknownst to the person - has seeped into their ways of life and that turns others off - at least the "good ones". It could also be that as our age goes up, the dating pool options go down due to people getting more and more specific and contemplative about what they want or feel that they need in a life partner. With time, they can set up all kinds of hoops for someone else to jump through and if someone approaches them who's interested, but doesn't have x, y, z or q then that justifies not giving that person a chance. Sometimes, it's warranted but I believe other times it allows for a seemingly-justifiable-only-to-them wall to be built up as a defense mechanism.

 

[sampa]

Well women's skin start to lose their luster in their 30's so I can see why.

yes, fair and I feel the same. As I told someone today why I like younger guys because of their skin. That is the one thing over the years that has changed and has been hard for me to deal with.

I have been reading a blog lately that has been helping me a lot with what I have been going through. The term the blogger uses for someone like this is...As*clown and/or Mr. Unavailable.


I am so getting banned for this.



I don't know what to say right now I'll come back later, with a better, more supportive answer.

Ethnog....as I noted above I guess I'm guilty of the same actions. Except when the guy wears an oxford shirt or jacket. Style is my other attraction and most lose it with age, women also.

 

[Blank123]

I'm not sure. I'm equally confused why it seems to be that only guys who are quite a bit older than me are the ones showing interest, but guys my age seem to be oblivious to the fact that I exist. Its actually quite frustrating. I don't want or need a father figure... I want a boyfriend

 

[Miles]

This thread reminds me of what it was like to be single in my twenties. The women in my age group generally preferred older men. There were exceptions of course, but those who dated younger men were few and far between.

 

[Wren]

This thread reminds me of what it was like to be single in my twenties. The women in my age group generally preferred older men. There were exceptions of course, but those who dated younger men were few and far between.

It's funny because I've had another man tell me that (offline), but most women I know date guys within 5 years of their age, sometimes younger. I wonder if we're just weird in my area. I mean, prior to 2010, I had only dated guys who were my age (sometimes a year younger or older, but within 2 years of my age)...it just worked out that way. My cousin dates younger guys (though not exclusively) and another relative is engaged to a guy several years younger. Plus former coworkers and friends..... Well, you get the idea.

 

[sampa]

I think it can also be due to other life circumstances, as well. Could be that people who are older are more secure and thus, do not feel the need to have a spouse to "complete" them or their lives. They've done good so far with casual dating or with dating exclusively without a ring, so if it isn't broke, why fix it? Could be that a person's life history isn't all that wonderful and perhaps some bitterness has slipped in somewhere to the point where it - unbeknownst to the person - has seeped into their ways of life and that turns others off - at least the "good ones". It could also be that as our age goes up, the dating pool options go down due to people getting more and more specific and contemplative about what they want or feel that they need in a life partner. With time, they can set up all kinds of hoops for someone else to jump through and if someone approaches them who's interested, but doesn't have x, y, z or q then that justifies not giving that person a chance. Sometimes, it's warranted but I believe other times it allows for a seemingly-justifiable-only-to-them wall to be built up as a defense mechanism.

White Dove, o my gosh, I forgot the experience that comes with age. I've not had most of the experiences and maturity that comes with that along with bitterness un/fortunately. so many other factors to consider.

I'm not sure. I'm equally confused why it seems to be that only guys who are quite a bit older than me are the ones showing interest, but guys my age seem to be oblivious to the fact that I exist. Its actually quite frustrating. I don't want or need a father figure... I want a boyfriend

little tigress, very disappointing and confusing but I'm beginning to see that I must be fair and my expectations maybe higher than what reality is. Day by day I'm beginning to see, youth is fleeting and even in my younger years things were not so simple.

 

[dayhiker]

I'm guessing there must be a 100 reasons as to why we don't get married again when we are older. I knw right now I don't want to get married again at this point.

 

[Miles]

It's funny because I've had another man tell me that (offline), but most women I know date guys within 5 years of their age, sometimes younger. I wonder if we're just weird in my area. I mean, prior to 2010, I had only dated guys who were my age (sometimes a year younger or older, but within 2 years of my age)...it just worked out that way. My cousin dates younger guys (though not exclusively) and another relative is engaged to a guy several years younger. Plus former coworkers and friends..... Well, you get the idea.

One of my coworkers lives with a woman almost 10 years his senior. They've been a couple since he was 19. My reaction upon learning about their age difference was basically one of congratulations. When a guy that age dates an older woman he feels like *the man*. Maybe most guys would, but the typical woman I meet isn't wired that way. She sees younger men as immature, like little brothers etc. That's my experience anyway. I used to crush on older women, but quickly learned not to get my hopes up. It's rare for a younger man to be taken seriously as a dating prospect by an older woman. Few young men who are starting out in their careers are financially able to take on a mortgage etc. Older men are more likely to be at a place in life where they can afford what many young women expect. Again, there are exceptions, but those exceptions are pleasant surprises, rather than something that one sees every day.

That said, it's nice to be at a stage in life where I can date the kind of "older women" that I wanted to date back in the day. Now they're around my age or younger. That said, what matters most to me is chemistry and being at a similar place in life. Although I have a rough age range in mind when it comes to dating, it isn't set in stone. If she's a couple years older than me, but everything else is right, I wouldn't write her off.

 

[MarkSB]

For some reason I don't really run into too many girls my age. The women I meet always seem to be either older, or usually (as with girls at work), younger. The women my age always seem to be divorced or dating someone, something along those lines.

I don't mind a woman being older or younger than me, but would prefer to stay within a range somewhere near my own age. But, with school and work right now, I'm not really actively seeking a relationship. Of course, its not like I ever really do , I usually just wait for things to "happen."

But yeah, the thinning dating pool - more people are married, or have been married/have kids and are occupied with that, or people have just become comfortable with being single. Add to that, as people get older they seem to go to social gathering places less often, so are less likely to run into each other.

 

[Rhye]

I'm not sure. I'm equally confused why it seems to be that only guys who are quite a bit older than me are the ones showing interest, but guys my age seem to be oblivious to the fact that I exist. Its actually quite frustrating. I don't want or need a father figure... I want a boyfriend

Really? Because its the other way around for me. Everyone 21-25 is into me.

 

[Miles]

For some reason I don't really run into too many girls my age. The women I meet always seem to be either older, or usually (as with girls at work), younger.

I think that's a pretty common experience for those of us in our thirties. Statistically, there are more older and younger people. Our age group isn't as populous as others.

 

[Blank123]

Really? Because its the other way around for me. Everyone 21-25 is into me.

i could handle 25 or 24. possibly i could handle 23..... depending on the person of course... wanna trade?

 

[Rhye]

i could handle 25 or 24. possibly i could handle 23..... depending on the person of course... wanna trade?

Lets. But, no more then 7 years please.

I can handle a very mature 24/25 year old but anyone younger then that, I don't know. Even today someone asked me how old I was and when I gave my age he just stopped it there. Why did he have to be 21? I mean he looked young but his height and his beard and everything else, I would never have thought 21. 26/27 maybe, but not 21.