Is there a component of emotional neediness in a relationship with God that I am missing?

[Questioning Brother]

I am not trying to be offensive, but I am wondering if this is a part I am missing. I see a lot of people who the relationship with God easily outweighs the trials of life, while for me it matters some, but not nearly enough. I just wonder if I just need less emotional/spiritual support and more material support. Is there a neediness I just don’t have?

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Your thread is pretty vague.

What kind of "material support" would you be talking about?

 

[Pavel Mosko]

I have had similar thoughts and here is what I have arrived at on the basic issue of the OP.


1) Some people are attracted to the stuff when it comes to God. After Jesus did the feeding of the 5 thousand, and healed and delivered people etc. his following grew, where lots of people were obviously following him for the benefits. And he seemed to understand and accept that, his life actually paralledl the life of King David when he ruled Ziklag where his first subjects who followed him were down and outs, (besides some of his old army buddies). Jesus however slowly began to deal with that issue with his "hard sayings" that tested his followers.


2) If you are ever brought through hard times etc. you will appreciate God more. Especially ones where you find yourself inadequate, or somehow need special provision that you don't possess, or otherwise brought to the end of your rope.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I am not trying to be offensive, but I am wondering if this is a part I am missing. I see a lot of people who the relationship with God easily outweighs the trials of life, while for me it matters some, but not nearly enough. I just wonder if I just need less emotional/spiritual support and more material support. Is there a neediness I just don’t have?

I don't see an "emotional" need in myself, although nor do I have a material need.

My desperate need was just to know God, to know what the truth was so I could follow it...

My dad once told me I could figure out the secrets of the universe, but couldn't manage tieing my own shoes... lol. He wasn't wrong in that, truth be told in some respects - but the one thing I really couldn't figure out were those secrets of the universe...

I needed the truth of God, I wasnt even seeking salvation so much as I needed to know Him in Truth... not lies of men, but God in Truth.

I made a promise once, that if He showed me His truth, in such a manner I knew it was from Him that I would follow Him regardless of what that meant.

So I am here, today a Christian... God gave me my answers - but I wanted no material nor emotional thing in return. Just knowledge so I could worship God in truth. The fact He gave me salvation on top of it I see as a miracle in and of itself, and have need of no other...

Perhaps you've simply not reached that place yet..the place where nothing else matters but knowing God.

Maybe knowledge is in and of itself an emotional need... don't know. I just know it was all I needed from a what do I want from God standpoint.

 

[Questioning Brother]

I have had similar thoughts and here is what I have arrived at on the basic issue of the OP.


1) Some people are attracted to the stuff when it comes to God. After Jesus did the feeding of the 5 thousand, and healed and delivered people etc. his following grew, where lots of people were obviously following him for the benefits. And he seemed to understand and accept that, his life actually paralledl the life of King David when he ruled Ziklag where his first subjects who followed him were down and outs, (besides some of his old army buddies). Jesus however slowly began to deal with that issue with his "hard sayings" that tested his followers.


2) If you are ever brought through hard times etc. you will appreciate God more. Especially ones where you find yourself inadequate, or somehow need special provision that you don't possess, or otherwise brought to the end of your rope.

In hard times now. I appreciate God so much less than before the hard times. I was trying to figure out how people seem to get enough out of the relationship part, when to be honest, for me, it would mean far more to me for him to actually fix the problem than for any amount of relationship with Him.

 

[Aussie Pete]

I am not trying to be offensive, but I am wondering if this is a part I am missing. I see a lot of people who the relationship with God easily outweighs the trials of life, while for me it matters some, but not nearly enough. I just wonder if I just need less emotional/spiritual support and more material support. Is there a neediness I just don’t have?

Many years ago, I asked the Lord why so many Christians seemed complacent and unwilling to be involved in the Christian walk. They went through the motions but that was it.

The Lord said to me, "They want what I can do for them but they do not want Me".

Christians have a choice to make. It is to live for themselves or to live for God. Living for self, demanding that "my" needs are met, is normal for the spiritually immature. It's fine up to a point. There will come a time when we need to get real and say, "Not my will, but Yours be done." That may be the hardest decision that you will ever have to make. At the same, God will give you grace to make that decision, if you ask Him.

Our will follows our desire. If you have no desire for spiritual things, you can ask God to give you the desires that please Him. I can assure you that if you will put the Kingdom of God (where God's will is done) first, your material needs will be met.

I was blessed by hearing and meeting many true men of God early in my Christian life. I realised they had something I did not, although I did not know what that "something" was. I asked the Lord to make me such a Christian. He has. He will for you too.

 

[Sabertooth]

1. My life was hard without Jesus.

"Good understanding gives favor,
But the way of the unfaithful is hard." Proverbs 13:15 NKJV

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked;

for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.​

For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption,
but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." Galatians 6:7-8 NKJV

2. My life was still hard after I got Saved, but I was no longer alone.

Jesus said,
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.
In the world you will have tribulation;
but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NKJV

3. My life still has some hardship, but as I have grown/walked in the Spirit, I have learned how to stop doing things that will induce even more unnecessary hardship.

"For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently?
But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently,
this is commendable before God." 1 Peter 2:20 NKJV

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces [stamina]." James 1:2-2 NKJV

"But the fruit of the Spirit is... longsuffering [= stamina],..." Galatians 5:22 NKJV

Fear Not!

Isaiah 43:1-3​

 

[Sabertooth]

I can assure you that if you will put the Kingdom of God (where God's will is done) first, your material needs will be met.

Jesus said,
“No one can serve two masters;
for either he will hate the one and love the other,
or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other.
You cannot serve God and mammon.

Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life,

what you will eat or what you will drink;
nor about your body, what you will put on.​

Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns;

yet your heavenly Father feeds them.​

Are you not of more value than they?

Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?


So why do you worry about clothing?

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;
and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory
was not arrayed like one of these.​

Now if God so clothes the grass of the field,

which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven,​

will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?


Therefore do not worry, saying,

‘What shall we eat?’ or
‘What shall we drink?’ or
‘What shall we wear?’
For after all these things the Gentiles seek.​

For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,
and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:24-33 NKJV​

tl;dr,
Seek "stuff" and you will always be chasing it.
Seek God and you will find Him, ...and get the "stuff," too!

 

[Sketcher]

I am not trying to be offensive, but I am wondering if this is a part I am missing. I see a lot of people who the relationship with God easily outweighs the trials of life, while for me it matters some, but not nearly enough. I just wonder if I just need less emotional/spiritual support and more material support. Is there a neediness I just don’t have?

I don't think emotional neediness is a Christian virtue, though with some of the songs that we sing and some of the remarks made in sermons can easily lead someone to believe that. What we should have is humble recognition of who we are before God. Are we hopelessly sinful before him? Yes. Looking at statistics for what kills people in their youth, are we really strong considering what the world can throw at us? How much weaker are we before God! And it takes us thousands of years through science to figure out principles that he devised at the beginning - are we really smart before God? When we have that recognition of how insignificant we are, we should recognize how much we need God, not just to get through this life, but also how much we need his grace to cover us, how badly we need our sins forgiven. And when we take all of that into account, and when we consider the mercy he has chosen to have on us - responding with love and gratitude is the only thing that makes sense. That is manifested through worship and through obedience.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

I am not trying to be offensive, but I am wondering if this is a part I am missing. I see a lot of people who the relationship with God easily outweighs the trials of life, while for me it matters some, but not nearly enough. I just wonder if I just need less emotional/spiritual support and more material support. Is there a neediness I just don’t have?

the problem with material support is that you can never have enough. you might think that just being able to pay all the bills, sleep in a warm place, and eat regular would be enough; but once you get something to lose - a house, a car, a bank account - it becomes intermediately obvious that you still don't have enough, because something can happen to take it all away - you need insurance; and insurance is expensive, and comes in many forms; you need a retirement fund, and one big enough to take care of co-pays and insurance limits if you get ill; and on and on and on.

but everyone will eventually reach their place of hopelessness, no matter how materially prepared they might be - no material preparation you can make in this world can save you when what you're facing goes beyond what material means can address.

23 years ago, when the doctors told me i had about 6 months to live, it didn't take me long to realize that only God could help me. i was a Christian, and believed i had received God's gift of eternal life, but i was not ready to die yet - i was too young to die.

so i humbled myself before God; i gave myself to Him to use in the time i had remaining on the earth, and i resolved to do whatever He told me to do, say whatever He told me to say, and believe whatever He told me to believe; and i began to study my Bible to hear from Him - and that's when fear lost it's control over me. losing that gnawing fear that stole my peace and ruled my thoughts made me love God more than anything and everything else, including material things.

the neediness you have is Someone who has the power to change your otherwise unchangeable circumstances - you need a Savior - and when you reach the end of yourself, you'll be in a place to trust Him no matter what.

 

[SANTOSO]

I am not trying to be offensive, but I am wondering if this is a part I am missing. I see a lot of people who the relationship with God easily outweighs the trials of life, while for me it matters some, but not nearly enough. I just wonder if I just need less emotional/spiritual support and more material support. Is there a neediness I just don’t have?

and went to the other side. -Mark 8:13

Don’t grieve the Lord by asking him a sign !

In hard times now. I appreciate God so much less than before the hard times. I was trying to figure out how people seem to get enough out of the relationship part, when to be honest, for me, it would mean far more to me for him to actually fix the problem than for any amount of relationship with Him.

Questioning brother,
don’t look for sign like the way the Pharisee have done !

This is what we have heard:
The Pharisees came and began to argue with him, SEEKING FROM HIM A SIGN from heaven to test him. -Mark 8:11
And he SIGHED DEEPLY in his spirit and said, "Why does this generation seek a sign? Truly, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation." -Mark 8:12
And he LEFT them, got into the boat again, and went to the other side. -Mark 8:13

When you are asking for the Lord to fix your problem, you are just asking for a sign like the Pharisee had done !

For you have explicitly stated many times that you are not concerned with relationships with the Lord, you are just asking for sign like the Pharisee had done.

What have Jesus said to the Pharisees and Sadducee that came to test Him?

An EVIL and ADULTEROUS generation SEEKS FOR A SIGN, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah." So he LEFT them and departed. -Matthew 16:4

Therefore, don’t let your heart harden by sin. Repent ! Don’t come to test the Lord and his disciples by requesting a sign !

 

[Questioning Brother]

and went to the other side. -Mark 8:13

Don’t grieve the Lord by asking him a sign !


Questioning brother,
don’t look for sign like the way the Pharisee have done !

This is what we have heard:
The Pharisees came and began to argue with him, SEEKING FROM HIM A SIGN from heaven to test him. -Mark 8:11
And he SIGHED DEEPLY in his spirit and said, "Why does this generation seek a sign? Truly, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation." -Mark 8:12
And he LEFT them, got into the boat again, and went to the other side. -Mark 8:13

When you are asking for the Lord to fix your problem, you are just asking for a sign like the Pharisee had done !

For you have explicitly stated many times that you are not concerned with relationships with the Lord, you are just asking for sign like the Pharisee had done.

What have Jesus said to the Pharisees and Sadducee that came to test Him?

An EVIL and ADULTEROUS generation SEEKS FOR A SIGN, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah." So he LEFT them and departed. -Matthew 16:4

Therefore, don’t let your heart harden by sin. Repent ! Don’t come to test the Lord and his disciples by requesting a sign !

I am not looking for a sign the way they were. They wanted a confirmation of who he was. I got that already. I am needing a healing from the father. I am more like, even though the outcome is discouraging, David pleading with God for the First child he had with Bathsheba. He was not looking for a sign. He was needing healing from God. I am also not sure I will have David’s reaction after the death of the child.

Ok, that was off topic anyway. I was trying to figure why the relationship stuff which most Christians seem to value very much means very little to me. I am trying to figure out what is different between us so I can work on it.

 

[Questioning Brother]

Repeated post

 

[SANTOSO]

I am not looking for a sign the way they were. They wanted a confirmation of who he was. I got that already. I am needing a healing from the father. I am more like, even though the outcome is discouraging, David pleading with God for the First child he had with Bathsheba. He was not looking for a sign. He was needing healing from God. I am also not sure I will have David’s reaction after the death of the child.

Ok, that was off topic anyway. I was trying to figure why the relationship stuff which most Christians seem to value very much means very little to me. I am trying to figure out what is different between us so I can work on it.

Questioning brother,
when you value the Lord for fixing your problem better than you value His relationships with you — you have not perceive yourself the defiance of your heart!

This is also one of the reasons that your prayers are not answered!

The way you approach God is defiance when you deny the value of relationship with Him.

Just like the man in the parable with one talent who say :

He also who had received the one talent came forward, SAYING, 'Master, I KNEW YOU TO BE A HARD MAN, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, -Matthew 25:24

You are considering the Lord Jesus to be a hard man for not fixing your problem and judging the Lord to be unfaithful after what He has poured out His steadfast love on the cross.

Repent that you may find His grace !

 

[Questioning Brother]

Questioning brother,
when you value the Lord for fixing your problem better than you value His relationships with you — you have not perceive yourself the defiance of your heart!

This is also one of the reasons that your prayers are not answered!

The way you approach God is defiance when you deny the value of relationship with Him.

Just like the man in the parable with one talent who say :

He also who had received the one talent came forward, SAYING, 'Master, I KNEW YOU TO BE A HARD MAN, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, -Matthew 25:24

You are considering the Lord Jesus to be a hard man for not fixing your problem and judging the Lord to be unfaithful after what He has poured out His steadfast love on the cross.

Repent that you may find His grace !

Again you address something related perhaps but not the point of the thread.

I cannot fathom what makes people value the relationship to that degree. I am not wired to value His words about things over his actions (inaction). I am trying to understand how people can value things that way.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

if you didn't already know that God has given you a part to play in receiving your miracle, then i might could understand your attitude - but you say that you believe God can heal your wife, and you refuse your responsibility to act on His Word - so God can say the same about you:

you say you believe He can, but your inaction speaks much louder than your words.

how do you think this approach will help you to receive your miracle?

 

[Questioning Brother]

You continue to not answer the question. The question is not about me. It is about how YOU can value the relationship over His ACTUALLY helping. I don’t understand that position.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

You continue to not answer the question. The question is not about me. It is about how YOU can value the relationship over His ACTUALLY helping. I don’t understand that position.

God gave Joseph a promise of rulership, where did he end up a slave, and then in prision, both very low positions, yet in the end He gave him rulership as he had promised.

In your timeline, yes you can see loss, situations that are not changing, but if you can have faith in God, you will see the victory. If that victory is healing you will have it as you remain faithful (when all seems lost), or if it just is the salvation of your soul, I am sure in the end, you will be grateful.

 

[aiki]

I am not trying to be offensive, but I am wondering if this is a part I am missing. I see a lot of people who the relationship with God easily outweighs the trials of life, while for me it matters some, but not nearly enough. I just wonder if I just need less emotional/spiritual support and more material support. Is there a neediness I just don’t have?

Actually, God doesn't focus on us, on our needs in particular, but on Himself. We don't find the life for which we were made in being self-oriented but in being God-oriented. Modern Christianity, however, often tries to sell itself to the non-believer, promising to him or her "your best life now." Jesus said, though, that to be his follower, one would have to die to oneself, living a life of self-denial. (Matthew 16:24-25)

God only outweighs the trials of life when He is the divine obsession of the believer, the Center of their life, as He ought to be. He's God, after all, right? What other place should He hold in the life of the person He's made and whose life He sustains at very moment?

If God matters little to you, it will be, at least in part, because you have a very small view of who He is. Sin also has a diminishing effect upon one's view of, and interest in, God. Affluence may dull one's sense of need of God, too. At bottom, though, God is always small in the minds of those who have made themselves large. There is no room in the life of a man who is full of himself.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

but i did answer your question - it wasn't until i came to the end of myself that i was able to glimpse how great His merciful love and faithfulness had been toward me my all of my life; this gave me confidence to believe Him for miracles before seeing them...