Is Social Anxiety illness or sin?

[Angeleyes7715]

I am a loner mostly. Have never been comfortable around strangers and even friends and family make me uncomfortable at times no matter how nice they are to me. I have a bf but it's different I guess and even he doesn't get my social phobia.

I'm detached from people and my surroundings.

In the past I've been bullied a lot and even now i run into rude people often. And prefer to avoid people.

I have social anxiety and being around people more often doesn't help. I have tried to be a tutor, ive done online dating and met people, I've made friends at school, and work, yet the social phobia and dread is still there. I can act normal but people just depress me irl. When friends call me I don't answer and text instead because talking to them exhausts me. Same with family members.

My attitude has come to I don't like you don't talk to me with strangers. When I'm nice in stores and smile it's kind of fake and I do it just to get people to go away and leave me alone. Even when people don't do anything to me. I just have a natural hatred and anger at people irl. I find them as an annoyance and inconvenience.

I don't have a problem helping people who need help though but small talk and socializing makes me angry.

Ive always been frustrated by this because the bible talks above loving people and enemies alot. Basically you can't go to heaven if you don't.

I figure if I spend more time praying and reading my Bible and growing closer to God I won't feel this way about people. But even as a child people have stressed me out so not sure if I can ever like people and if I even want to cause they are awful.

 

[StrivingFollower]

I think we all have a place in the world. Some people are cold on the surface, but very nice when you get to know them. Keeps the world interesting. I'm like you. As long as you keep believing that God can change you, I think he'll be satisfied. Sometimes it helps me to think smaller like pray my problem deteriorates slowly, little by little.
The deep seeded habits are going to be the last to go. To me it feels like I'm a good person stuck in a bad behaving machine(my body). I repent and ask God to remind me that I'll get better next time or eventually. I think God respects me for fighting the bad behaviors. He knows how difficult our situation is because he knows more about us than we know.
Frequent prayer is definitely good. Share all frustrations with him and pray for help with anything huge or small. It makes your connection to him feel much stronger.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I am a loner mostly. Have never been comfortable around strangers and even friends and family make me uncomfortable at times no matter how nice they are to me. I have a bf but it's different I guess and even he doesn't get my social phobia.

I'm detached from people and my surroundings.

In the past I've been bullied a lot and even now i run into rude people often. And prefer to avoid people.

I have social anxiety and being around people more often doesn't help. I have tried to be a tutor, ive done online dating and met people, I've made friends at school, and work, yet the social phobia and dread is still there. I can act normal but people just depress me irl. When friends call me I don't answer and text instead because talking to them exhausts me. Same with family members.

My attitude has come to I don't like you don't talk to me with strangers. When I'm nice in stores and smile it's kind of fake and I do it just to get people to go away and leave me alone. Even when people don't do anything to me. I just have a natural hatred and anger at people irl. I find them as an annoyance and inconvenience.

I don't have a problem helping people who need help though but small talk and socializing makes me angry.

Ive always been frustrated by this because the bible talks above loving people and enemies alot. Basically you can't go to heaven if you don't.

I figure if I spend more time praying and reading my Bible and growing closer to God I won't feel this way about people. But even as a child people have stressed me out so not sure if I can ever like people and if I even want to cause they are awful.

Have you ever been to a doctor and been tested and/or officially diagnosed with anything?

Or are you thinking you have this?

It is important to see a Psychiatrist or someone and get tested and diagnosed. This helps for many reasons. First, if you need medication for a diagnosed condition you will be able to get it. Second, it tells you what you have and then you can research it and know the illness, rather than wondering if it is just you, circumstance, a mental illness or whatever. Third it is officially documented and if you run into big issues in the future and need say FMLA or are discriminated against because of your illness, you have some protection. Fourth, you can find people who have what you have, diagnosed by a doctor of course, and try to help yourself deal with the illness.

This is what I have found. These are off the top of my head.

Another, is usually therapy accompanies meds or a diagnisis and that can help you organize your thoughts and get perspective.

 

[iwbswiaihl2]

Go to the Great Physician and His word, here are a few good words from Him, Pro 12:25-26 Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad. 26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray. Pro 15:13 A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Pro 17:22 A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. Pro 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness,
But who can bear a broken spirit? And here are three that really brings joy to the heart. Remember this joy and keep your eyes and heart on it, in the last part of Nehemiah 8:10 Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength, and in it one may ask what is this joy that the Lord had and that all His children can have, I see that tremendous joy in Psalms 16:11 You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. This speaks to my heart that the Lord is the one who showed me the path of life and called me into His kingdom by His grace through faith and because of that I must always remember that You will show me the path of life; In His presence is fullness of joy and that all saints have His promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us, thus we are always in His presence. Which I will close with this blessing for all of us in Christ when we leave this world and go to be with Him forever; Psalms 17:15 As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in His likeness. At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. From whence I get my handle the first letter from this middle section, iwbswiaihl.

 

[Larniavc]

I am a loner mostly. Have never been comfortable around strangers and even friends and family make me uncomfortable at times no matter how nice they are to me. I have a bf but it's different I guess and even he doesn't get my social phobia.

I'm detached from people and my surroundings.

In the past I've been bullied a lot and even now i run into rude people often. And prefer to avoid people.

I have social anxiety and being around people more often doesn't help. I have tried to be a tutor, ive done online dating and met people, I've made friends at school, and work, yet the social phobia and dread is still there. I can act normal but people just depress me irl. When friends call me I don't answer and text instead because talking to them exhausts me. Same with family members.

My attitude has come to I don't like you don't talk to me with strangers. When I'm nice in stores and smile it's kind of fake and I do it just to get people to go away and leave me alone. Even when people don't do anything to me. I just have a natural hatred and anger at people irl. I find them as an annoyance and inconvenience.

I don't have a problem helping people who need help though but small talk and socializing makes me angry.

Ive always been frustrated by this because the bible talks above loving people and enemies alot. Basically you can't go to heaven if you don't.

I figure if I spend more time praying and reading my Bible and growing closer to God I won't feel this way about people. But even as a child people have stressed me out so not sure if I can ever like people and if I even want to cause they are awful.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is an evidence based effective treatment for social phobia.

No disrespect intended but you will not find effective treatment for an anxiety disorder in the Bible.

Get your doctor to refer you for an assessment: you should expect around 12-20 one hour sessions with a cognitive behavioural therapist, then have a review to evaluate your progress.

(10 years as a cognitive behavioural therapist, here).

Good luck.

 

[com7fy8]

I just have a natural hatred and anger at people irl.

Jesus does want us to love people. And Jesus is so superior to all of us; yet, Jesus Himself loves all of us and so suffered and died on the cross, with hope for any evil person, at all. So, I offer > Jesus gets how we humans can be more or less not real and not right. But Jesus has hope for us. So, it is good to be like this, with Jesus

Love "hopes all things", we have in 1 Corinthians 13:7.

Ive always been frustrated by this because the bible talks above loving people and enemies alot. Basically you can't go to heaven if you don't.

Jesus says we do need to love any and all people. So, it is good you know this. And Jesus cares about you. Jesus says,

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)

I figure if I spend more time praying and reading my Bible and growing closer to God I won't feel this way about people.

And I recommend you find people who are good examples of how to love and relate, and their example can encourage you to get into enjoying loving.

But even as a child people have stressed me out so not sure if I can ever like people and if I even want to cause they are awful.

Jesus died on the cross, because all of us have been wrong - - God's enemies so displeasing to Him. So, it might not be so strange if you are discovering that a lot of people are not so great, really. But how about you and me? Are we pleasing to God? Jesus is so superior to all of us; yet, Jesus is not at all conceited about being so more than we are, but Jesus came to this earth in order to reach us and share His very own good with us. So, it is good to join Him in ministering this

 

[Sarah G]

I am the same. I don't even really think of it as social anxiety anymore. I see it more as being introvert, maybe ISFJ as Meyers-Briggs says although I find that label limited in its usefulness. I really recommend the book
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
by Susan Cain

I have accepted that I am an introvert. Some of it may be in my genes and some conditioning. I don't think that's important. I find it good for my spiritual life. Sure, I tend to be on a solitary path and I've never found a church to fit into but my spiritual life has deeper nuances than I might find banging a tambourine in a church band twice a week.

I do not find being an introvert prevents me from loving my neighbour (seeing the Christ spark in all people and doing my best to have love, respect and compassion for all people) or praying for my enemies (I don't think I have any enemies but I have people that irritate me and I pray for them). Being a quiet, modest, humble woman is not wrong except maybe by very modern, worldly standards! I like quiet people. I like introverts. I like deep thinkers. I like loners. I accept and embrace my lovely quiet, gentle, tender, sensitive self. I think that people only bring out anger in you and feel like an inconvenience because they are causing your body to be flooded with stress hormones which make you feel angry and are surely an inconvenience when you are trying to get your shopping

 

[Celticroots]

An illness. That can be managed with the proper help. Who have you been listening to that is spouting such ignorance? Don’t listen to them.

It can often be the result of a humiliating social event or bullying. Or countless other things. The fact that you hate some people who are strangers who have done nothing to you, speaks to a deep rooted bitterness and anger that hasn’t been worked on. Praying and reading the Bible won’t do much until the underlying issues are worked on. They help but they can’t be the only source of help and nothing else. I believe God can work through circumstances, people etc.

Professional help with something like this is what is needed, although getting it is easier said than done when they don’t take your insurance or your state’s healthcare system sucks. What kind of insurance do you have?

 

[Celticroots]

Go to the Great Physician and His word, here are a few good words from Him, Pro 12:25-26 Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad. 26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray. Pro 15:13 A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Pro 17:22 A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. Pro 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness,
But who can bear a broken spirit? And here are three that really brings joy to the heart. Remember this joy and keep your eyes and heart on it, in the last part of Nehemiah 8:10 Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength, and in it one may ask what is this joy that the Lord had and that all His children can have, I see that tremendous joy in Psalms 16:11 You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. This speaks to my heart that the Lord is the one who showed me the path of life and called me into His kingdom by His grace through faith and because of that I must always remember that You will show me the path of life; In His presence is fullness of joy and that all saints have His promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us, thus we are always in His presence. Which I will close with this blessing for all of us in Christ when we leave this world and go to be with Him forever; Psalms 17:15 As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in His likeness. At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. From whence I get my handle the first letter from this middle section, iwbswiaihl.

Getting professional help from a therapist, who God can use to help people is a better idea. In conjunction with reading the Bible.

 

[BeguilingOrbit]

@Angeleyes7715, have you ever considered the possibility that you might have a high-functioning form of Autism Spectrum Disorder (commonly referred to as Asperger's Syndrome)? You have described some experiences that Aspies (including myself) commonly have: being mostly a loner, having an aversion to socializing, having been bullied, "acting" normal when the social situation demands it, etc. ASD is not a disease--people with it have simply been wired, neurologically (by God, in my opinion), to behave in ways that aren't common to most people.

ASD isn't the only possible reason for your social difficulties, but it could certainly explain it. You might consider taking an online Aspie Quiz. It's not intended to be diagnostic, but, at 150 questions, it's pretty comprehensive so it can offer you some valuable insight. If it doesn't point you to Asperger's, then at least you will have eliminated one possible root cause of your social anxiety. If it does indicate that you might be on the spectrum, then you'll have your aha! moment because you'll be able to finally begin understanding what has shaped your life's experiences. You can finally understand the root cause of your anxiety and seek some interventions that can help you learn some coping mechanisms for that anxiety.

Oh, and never think that you are sinning because of social anxiety. That's just not true. Anxiety is a symptom, not a cause. Something deeper is the source of your fear of social situations, and sin is not it. It might not be illness, either. It might be, as in the case of Asperger's-induced social anxiety, simply a reaction to the way you have been treated by others for being different. Again, I'm not saying you have ASD, but it's worth considering.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is an evidence based effective treatment for social phobia.

No disrespect intended but you will not find effective treatment for an anxiety disorder in the Bible.

Get your doctor to refer you for an assessment: you should expect around 12-20 one hour sessions with a cognitive behavioural therapist, then have a review to evaluate your progress.

(10 years as a cognitive behavioural therapist, here).

Good luck.

CBT does help. I started trying it a while ago. I have a hard time sticking to it. I almost went to the SAD group in AZ but it's like $1300. Very costly to get help was just going to try a self help book. This problem is terrible though causes job and relationship problems.

And to the other person who suggested taking ASD test. I did the online one and it said it's likely I have ASD. I scored 132 out of 200. Wondering though if it's just cause a lot of these conditions have similarities.

 

[Larniavc]

Very costly to get help was just going to try a self help book.

I keep forgetting you have to pay for health care in America

This is a really good book for depression (I ask all my patients with depression to read it).

Overcoming Depression : a Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Technique, | eBay

And this one for anxiety.

Overcoming Anxiety: A Books on Prescription Title (Overcoming Books),New Conditi | eBay

 

[Celticroots]

I keep forgetting you have to pay for health care in America

This is a really good book for depression (I ask all my patients with depression to read it).

Overcoming Depression : a Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Technique, | eBay

And this one for anxiety.

Overcoming Anxiety: A Books on Prescription Title (Overcoming Books),New Conditi | eBay

If you go with a therapist who takes your insurance it’s not that bad. And you can do a google search for counselors that take your insurance. There should be some places in the states where people on Medicaid can go and get counseling and psychiatric care. There was in the state I grew up in where I saw a psychiatric nurse practioner. Some counselors will have a sliding scale where they let you pay what you can afford.

Self help books don’t work for me, but if the OP wants to do one that’s great!

 

[Basil the Great]

It seems a bit of a stretch to ever call social anxiety a sin. The closest thing that I have ever hear to it that might be a sin is despondency and even that is questionable. As for self-help books, sometimes they help and sometimes not. I fought situational depression, off and now, for about 20 years. I was finally helped a lot by many of the suggestions listed in the classic book by the late Dale Carnegie, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". I will say a prayer for you tonight, Angeleyes7715. By the way, I have not found a better nickname in all of Christian Forums that I like more than yours! Angeleyes... it reminds me of what I say sometimes when I see a really stunning gal on television who has my favorite kind of eyes. I say aloud to the tv, "you have the eyes of an angel".