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Is Paul right about singles.

Discussion in 'Mature Singles' started by Single Life, Jun 12, 2019.

  1. Single Life

    Single Life Member

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    In the Bible, Paul writes that it is better to be single? In your opinion was he right?
     
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  2. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,143
    United States
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    I think he means it is better if we are single the way God blesses us to be.

    It is better than being blessed by God in marriage.

    But there are people who are not blessed . . . either way. This is not what Paul is talking about.

    But in Christ celibacy is a "gift", and marriage is a "gift" > consider 1 Corinthians 7:7.
     
  3. ewq1938

    ewq1938 Chewbacca kree! Supporter

    +3,943
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    US-Republican
    He says more than that:

    1Co 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
    1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
    1Co 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
    1Co 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
    1Co 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
    1Co 7:6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
    1Co 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
    1Co 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
    1Co 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
     
  4. David Cabrera

    David Cabrera Well-Known Member

    +2,497
    United States
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    It is better to be single for God, not for one's desires.
    Edit: I didn't see it was for people in their 30's so I apologize for intruding.
     
  5. dayhiker

    dayhiker Mature veteran

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    Well, Paul said there is a grace for singles and a grace to be married.
    Also much of what Paul said on this topic has a social context and trying to help Christians face persecution.
    So the verses shouldn't be taken out of context as one meditates on this topic.
     
  6. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +5,933
    Christian
    It is better because if you are single you can focus on God and doing God's will. Most of us are not willing to sacrifice our wants and desires in exchange for serving God in all situations. The ideal situation and the one where we would be happiest if we had Paul's attitude that the best situation is where we completely depend on Jesus and we rejoice even in suffering if it brings glory to God.
     
  7. gospels

    gospels Member

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    Paul is right. We are the last generation and the king is coming soon. I’m myself going through the pains of being single at 31. But with all the busyness, chaos and struggles of life in today’s world, I better save time and energy to myself to research and study the scriptures and pray to prepare and be ready for his coming rather than working on all that a marriage brings upon. I believe, this was what wise men did and so were able to meet Jesus at His birth while many did not have knowledge of what’s coming and time to care or even notice which is still happening today with Christians as well as non-Christians. Marriage might lead to becoming lukewarm and I think Paul was concerned and said what he had to say.
     
  8. JAM2b

    JAM2b Newbie

    +1,524
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    The thing about opinions is that they are neither right nor wrong. They are not facts or untrue. It's just what someone thinks.

    I take that verse as a suggestion or advice that can be taken or left. Neither singleness or marriage is condemned in the Bible.

    What is true is that if you are single, you don't have the extra responsibilities that come with marriage, freeing you up to commit to other roles, but you also don't get the love and support of someone who is devoted to you and your household.

    Both choices have their benefits and downside. Life on earth is not going to be perfect, whether you are single or married.
     
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  9. Lybrah

    Lybrah Active Member

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    Why is celibacy a gift?
     
  10. dayhiker

    dayhiker Mature veteran

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    I think both marriage and celibacy is a gift.
     
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  11. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,143
    United States
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    First, Lybrah, I would like to quote 1 Corinthians 7:7 >

    "For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that." (1 Corinthians 7:7)

    Here, I understand, Paul is talking about either being a celibate or being married. And it looks like each is a "gift from God". And I already said, above, how I understand this means for a Christian. And this means how we are seeking and submitting to God, so we are living in our gifts and callings. And Colossians 3:!5 says our basic calling includes submitting to how our Heavenly personally rules each of us in His own peace. And so we discover how He has His gifts succeeding in us and our lives.

    So, in case I am right about this, why would God give someone the "gift" of celibacy?

    Well, first of all > in general, every "gift from God" is "good" and "perfect" >

    "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." (James 1:17)

    A gift of God, then, is good and perfect; but we are not good and perfect, right? So, any gift of God helps us to have more and better ability than we ourselves tend to have. And so, it is so important and helpful and encouraging how new Christians who are immature can have special gifts which make them able to do good to others and get encouraged because they are important even as young children of God. Because their gifts minister God's own grace which is so essential to all of us >

    "Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." (1 Peter 4:9-10)

    So, yes, a gift can give someone certain practical and outwardly showing ability, but deeply every real gift of the Holy Spirit is essential because of how it is deeply ministering God's own grace.

    So, I would say this is a basic reason why a person needs one's gift of celibacy if a person is chosen and gifted to be single. There is always the basic of being able to minister God's own grace to others. And, by grace, I mean the action of God's own love changing our nature to be more and more like Jesus, since our basic destiny as children of God is we will be "conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren." (in Romans 8:29) And the grace of this gift is effecting the celibate while he or she is ministering this. So, this is part of why he or she needs this gift.

    Each gift is of God who is "love" > "God is love" > in 1 John 4:8&16. So, any real gift of God is a gift of love. And celibacy is a gift with a love calling to specialize in getting closer to and devoted to God while ministering for others also to get more and more intimate with God. The gifted person can help other celibates and married people who also need to get closer and closer to God. So, this is an important gift with this love calling which helps us with our First Love Commandment which is to love God with all we've got.

    And yes the gift of marriage helps us with our Second Love Commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves. In marriage we can make breakthrough research discoveries of how to love in a close relationship, and this can help us then to personally and tenderly care for any and all others, as ourselves. But humanly we do not tend to use marriage to help us learn how to love any and all people; we can tend to love selfishly, according to our limited motives and character. And God's love in the gift of holy matrimony changes us to find out how to love the way God wants, and we minister this to other married people and to celibates who also need to grow and mature in how to relate with any and all people.

    Grace in us changes us to be more with God so we can tenderly share and care as God's family (Ephesians 4:31-32), plus be ready to adopt new children of God who have gotten saved. And gifted married people can minister this to us, so we do better in our marriages or as celibates who also need to learn more and more maturely.
     
  12. Sir Robbins

    Sir Robbins Looking for peanut butter

    727
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    celibacy is a gift if it's used for the purpose of missions and devoting everything to God. Being celibate out of fear of failure, marriage, the opposite sex, responsibility and so on is not a gift but often is like a self inflicted curse. You choose to remain single for life but not for the reasons the bible would justify. At the same time, these texts are the words of Paul, a man, not the words from God Himself and shoot me now if someone runs in saying "everything in the bible is the word of God". I don't believe that. Paul was not God and was speaking before the Corinth people who were in turmoil during this time period. So many take these words generically and use in all situations. HOWEVER, that being said, our planet Earth is in turmoil now with much religious conflict and more people turning away from God creating more desperate opportunities to bring them back.

    I read an article about women who chose celibacy to pursue a career for life, be independent from family responsibility and so on. The author ripped those "women" a new one on why it was wrong and they were destroying God's design. People can't seem to live one way or another without being attacked these days...
     
  13. RayJeena

    RayJeena Humble and proud of it. Supporter

    +3,146
    United States
    Unorthodox
    Single
    Having been both married (21 years) and single, I have to agree with Paul
    on that.

    Not that marriage is bad; it isn't. And my ex was -- and is! -- a swell guy.

    My preference for being unmarried has more to do with the marital
    arrangement/institution and the expectations that come with it, rather
    than any individuals who may be involved.
     
  14. Sir Robbins

    Sir Robbins Looking for peanut butter

    727
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    Expectations and "requirements" are what will keep me single for life. I'm devoted to God but am not to ministry and have no intention too. I also have no intention to be with someone my whole life. I guess the way it could be put is "rejecting gifts".... People who choose not to have kids but are fully capable of having them may be "rejecting a gift". People who stay single to avoid marriage like me would qualify for "rejecting a gift" as well. I don't see this as bad and I'm a apart of this so no judgement coming from me lol
     
  15. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member

    624
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    Catholic
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    Well, I guess for some of us Paul's opinion rings true. I've been single almost all my life but I have lots of married friends and their lives seems so busy. There are always various issues they're dealing with. While I'm constantly looking for things to keep me busy.
     
  16. Blessed Introvert

    Blessed Introvert New Member

    23
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    Paul was right on this because life is good when single.
     
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