Is marriage a good thing? Why people talk so badly about married life?

[Felipe Barbosa]

Hi, sorry for my English.
My name is Felipe/Philip, I have been a Christian since I was born, I am 24 years old, I am single and I am currently dating.

1. Every time I hear 1 Corinthians 7:9 I have a bad impression, to marry just to have sex, even though I realize that was not what Paul meant.
2. Every time I hear someone preaching about marriage, it always gets a bigger weight on the negatives aspects, in fact, looking at my parents I have no desire to marry. The world is also in this vibe lately, marriage is really a bad thing. I do not know if you can understand me, people talk a lot about the responsibility of marriage, the question is, is responsibility a bad thing? How the elders expect the youngs to marry and leave their parents' house if they only know speak that marriage is a bad thing, or at least that's the impression convey to the youth.
   
3. I was never be handsome, I was fat at school, but I still end up liking some girls I remember praying several times for those feelings to go away, but they always came, same for the body sexual reactions.
4. I do not see a solution to the sexual issue as a single, I feel ashamed of the nocturnal emissions and the erections, I can stay a while if I touch, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets, the feelings are very bad, the region is sensitive and emissions come almost every night. It does not have anything to do with inappropriate contentography, when it all started I did not have access to the internet. My girlfriend also has the same problem with certain periods in the month in which the libido increases. I've already talked to several older people in the church about my problem with the body's sensations, but the advice is always empty, it seems they do not care. Or they forgot what it's like to be single.
   
5. I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a big responsibility, so why does our body develop sexually so soon? Why do not we get into puberty at the age of 20, 25? People were getting married early centuries ago, but today people say that young people do not have the maturity to do so...

Thanks in advance.

 

[Liza B.]

Hi, sorry for my English.
My name is Felipe/Philip, I have been a Christian since I was born, I am 24 years old, I am single and I am currently dating.

1. Every time I hear 1 Corinthians 7:9 I have a bad impression, to marry just to have sex, even though I realize that was not what Paul meant.
2. Every time I hear someone preaching about marriage, it always gets a bigger weight on the negatives aspects, in fact, looking at my parents I have no desire to marry. The world is also in this vibe lately, marriage is really a bad thing. I do not know if you can understand me, people talk a lot about the responsibility of marriage, the question is, is responsibility a bad thing? How the elders expect the youngs to marry and leave their parents' house if they only know speak that marriage is a bad thing, or at least that's the impression convey to the youth.
   
3. I was never be handsome, I was fat at school, but I still end up liking some girls I remember praying several times for those feelings to go away, but they always came, same for the body sexual reactions.
4. I do not see a solution to the sexual issue as a single, I feel ashamed of the nocturnal emissions and the erections, I can stay a while if I touch, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets, the feelings are very bad, the region is sensitive and emissions come almost every night. It does not have anything to do with inappropriate contentography, when it all started I did not have access to the internet. My girlfriend also has the same problem with certain periods in the month in which the libido increases. I've already talked to several older people in the church about my problem with the body's sensations, but the advice is always empty, it seems they do not care. Or they forgot what it's like to be single.
   
5. I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a big responsibility, so why does our body develop sexually so soon? Why do not we get into puberty at the age of 20, 25? People were getting married early centuries ago, but today people say that young people do not have the maturity to do so...

Thanks in advance.

My husband and I have been married for 23 years. We love each other more now that we did when we married, and that is the truth. He is easily my favorite person in the entire world. We have two children together. They make our marriage better. They are not the purpose of our marriage--though there is no doubt, God blessed us so much when He gave us our children.

Do not believe what everyone says about marriage. Just don't. I love being married. My husband is the best part of my life on earth.

PS Your English is great. I wish I knew a second language as well as you do!

 

[“Paisios”]

Hi, sorry for my English.
My name is Felipe/Philip, I have been a Christian since I was born, I am 24 years old, I am single and I am currently dating.

Every time I hear 1 Corinthians 7:9 I have a bad impression, to marry just to have sex, even though I realize that was not what Paul meant.

That is not the only reason to marry, but it is an enjoyable and important part of most marriages.

Every time I hear someone preaching about marriage, it always gets a bigger weight on the negatives aspects, in fact, looking at my parents I have no desire to marry. The world is also in this vibe lately, marriage is really a bad thing. I do not know if you can understand me, people talk a lot about the responsibility of marriage, the question is, is responsibility a bad thing? How the elders expect the youngs to marry and leave their parents' house if they only know speak that marriage is a bad thing, or at least that's the impression convey to the youth.

I am sorry your parents’ marriage did not provide a positive example of married life for you. I committed to my wife a long time ago, have been married 23 years, and it (and she) has been a huge blessing in my life. I am more and more joyful about my relationship daily, and love my wife dearly (even during our times of hardship, of which we have had our fair share). The responsibility of both marriage and parenthood are the hardest things I have ever taken on, but are also the things that have filled me with the most joy over the years. There is a cost to marriage, but the benefits (for me) have far exceeded that cost...in comfort, companionship, the absence of loneliness...

I was never be handsome, I was fat at school, but I still end up liking some girls I remember praying several times for those feelings to go away, but they always came, same for the body sexual reactions.

I have never considered myself handsome, and have had the same temptations as anyone else. Marriage provided a blessed outlet for my sexual desires. I didn’t have many girlfriends, but I found the only one that mattered I needed the end - my wife.

I do not see a solution to the sexual issue as a single, I feel ashamed of the nocturnal emissions and the erections, I can stay a while if I touch, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets, the feelings are very bad, the region is sensitive and emissions come almost every night. It does not have anything to do with inappropriate contentography, when it all started I did not have access to the internet. My girlfriend also has the same problem with certain periods in the month in which the libido increases. I've already talked to several older people in the church about my problem with the body's sensations, but the advice is always empty, it seems they do not care. Or they forgot what it's like to be single.

They probably don’t advice because many of them (like myself) didn’t overcome it themselves when younger. I have no advice, but I will pray for you.

I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a big responsibility, so why does our body develop sexually so soon? Why do not we get into puberty at the age of 20, 25? People were getting married early centuries ago, but today people say that young people do not have the maturity to do so...
Thanks in advance.

Some married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a blessing, but it takes hard work, self-sacrifice, and love (see 1 Corinthians 13) to make it work. It is not easy, but it can be worth it.

It sounds like your issues are as much about avoiding sinful sexual thoughts and actions, while recognizing that marriage is a big commitment, which you may not be ready for. Pray, focus on God, and I will pray for you. I have no other advice, as I wasn’t “pure” in any sense in my youth. I thank God that He is forgiving and can overcome any sin. I didn’t see that my sexual sin hurt anyone in my youth; it has only been with age that I realize deep within that I grieved the Lord and, in essence, cheated on my wife with every sexual encounter I had (even before I met her).

May God be with you.

 

[“Paisios”]

My husband and I have been married for 23 years.

I committed to my wife a long time ago, have been married 23 years, and it (and she) has been a huge blessing in my life.

Just to clarify...
The fact that @Liza B. and I have both been married for 23 years and posted at almost the same time, is simply coincidence. We are not married to each other, though I am glad that God has blessed her marriage as much as He has blessed mine.

 

[Liza B.]

Just to clarify...
The fact that @Liza B. and I have both been married for 23 years and posted at almost the same time, is simply coincidence. We are not married to each other, though I am glad that God has blessed her marriage as much as He has blessed mine.

Oh how funny! See there, two *separate* happy marriages indeed.

 

[“Paisios”]

My husband and I have been married for 23 years. We love each other more now that we did when we married, and that is the truth. He is easily my favorite person in the entire world. We have two children together. They make our marriage better. They are not the purpose of our marriage--though there is no doubt, God blessed us so much when He gave us our children.

If you were to substitute the word “wife” where you have written “husband”, I could have written that, meaning every single word.

Oh how funny! See there, two *separate* happy marriages indeed.

It is funny!

 

[SkyWriting]

Hi, sorry for my English.
My name is Felipe/Philip, I have been a Christian since I was born, I am 24 years old, I am single and I am currently dating.

1. Every time I hear 1 Corinthians 7:9 I have a bad impression, to marry just to have sex, even though I realize that was not what Paul meant.
2. Every time I hear someone preaching about marriage, it always gets a bigger weight on the negatives aspects, in fact, looking at my parents I have no desire to marry. The world is also in this vibe lately, marriage is really a bad thing. I do not know if you can understand me, people talk a lot about the responsibility of marriage, the question is, is responsibility a bad thing? How the elders expect the youngs to marry and leave their parents' house if they only know speak that marriage is a bad thing, or at least that's the impression convey to the youth.
   
3. I was never be handsome, I was fat at school, but I still end up liking some girls I remember praying several times for those feelings to go away, but they always came, same for the body sexual reactions.
4. I do not see a solution to the sexual issue as a single, I feel ashamed of the nocturnal emissions and the erections, I can stay a while if I touch, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets, the feelings are very bad, the region is sensitive and emissions come almost every night. It does not have anything to do with inappropriate contentography, when it all started I did not have access to the internet. My girlfriend also has the same problem with certain periods in the month in which the libido increases. I've already talked to several older people in the church about my problem with the body's sensations, but the advice is always empty, it seems they do not care. Or they forgot what it's like to be single.
   
5. I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a big responsibility, so why does our body develop sexually so soon? Why do not we get into puberty at the age of 20, 25? People were getting married early centuries ago, but today people say that young people do not have the maturity to do so...

Thanks in advance.

Commiting to someone is hard work.

 

[dreadnought]

Hi, sorry for my English.
My name is Felipe/Philip, I have been a Christian since I was born, I am 24 years old, I am single and I am currently dating.

1. Every time I hear 1 Corinthians 7:9 I have a bad impression, to marry just to have sex, even though I realize that was not what Paul meant.
2. Every time I hear someone preaching about marriage, it always gets a bigger weight on the negatives aspects, in fact, looking at my parents I have no desire to marry. The world is also in this vibe lately, marriage is really a bad thing. I do not know if you can understand me, people talk a lot about the responsibility of marriage, the question is, is responsibility a bad thing? How the elders expect the youngs to marry and leave their parents' house if they only know speak that marriage is a bad thing, or at least that's the impression convey to the youth.
   
3. I was never be handsome, I was fat at school, but I still end up liking some girls I remember praying several times for those feelings to go away, but they always came, same for the body sexual reactions.
4. I do not see a solution to the sexual issue as a single, I feel ashamed of the nocturnal emissions and the erections, I can stay a while if I touch, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets, the feelings are very bad, the region is sensitive and emissions come almost every night. It does not have anything to do with inappropriate contentography, when it all started I did not have access to the internet. My girlfriend also has the same problem with certain periods in the month in which the libido increases. I've already talked to several older people in the church about my problem with the body's sensations, but the advice is always empty, it seems they do not care. Or they forgot what it's like to be single.
   
5. I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a big responsibility, so why does our body develop sexually so soon? Why do not we get into puberty at the age of 20, 25? People were getting married early centuries ago, but today people say that young people do not have the maturity to do so...

Thanks in advance.

Paul says this about marriage:

[36] If any one thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry -- it is no sin.
[37] But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
[38] So that he who marries his betrothed does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better. 1 Cor 7:36-38 RSV

 

[All4Christ]

There certainly is work in marriage but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My relationship with God is only one thing more important than it - and for us, our marriage is part of helping each other on our spiritual journey as well. There are multiple vocations - some to serve God as a single person, some to serve God as a married couple, some to serve God as parents. Marriage imho is one beautiful way to serve God should He lead you in that direction.

 

[ValleyGal]

Hi, sorry for my English.
My name is Felipe/Philip, I have been a Christian since I was born, I am 24 years old, I am single and I am currently dating.

1. Every time I hear 1 Corinthians 7:9 I have a bad impression, to marry just to have sex, even though I realize that was not what Paul meant.
2. Every time I hear someone preaching about marriage, it always gets a bigger weight on the negatives aspects, in fact, looking at my parents I have no desire to marry. The world is also in this vibe lately, marriage is really a bad thing. I do not know if you can understand me, people talk a lot about the responsibility of marriage, the question is, is responsibility a bad thing? How the elders expect the youngs to marry and leave their parents' house if they only know speak that marriage is a bad thing, or at least that's the impression convey to the youth.
   
3. I was never be handsome, I was fat at school, but I still end up liking some girls I remember praying several times for those feelings to go away, but they always came, same for the body sexual reactions.
4. I do not see a solution to the sexual issue as a single, I feel ashamed of the nocturnal emissions and the erections, I can stay a while if I touch, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets, the feelings are very bad, the region is sensitive and emissions come almost every night. It does not have anything to do with inappropriate contentography, when it all started I did not have access to the internet. My girlfriend also has the same problem with certain periods in the month in which the libido increases. I've already talked to several older people in the church about my problem with the body's sensations, but the advice is always empty, it seems they do not care. Or they forgot what it's like to be single.
   
5. I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a big responsibility, so why does our body develop sexually so soon? Why do not we get into puberty at the age of 20, 25? People were getting married early centuries ago, but today people say that young people do not have the maturity to do so...

Thanks in advance.

I have no advice about overcoming the libido, though I can definitely related to almost everyone else in the world, that it is a powerful "problem" in today's society (and possibly in generations past as well, though it is amplified today). I see you have a girlfriend. Good for you if you are keeping your relationship pure from sexual sin! Not many people do that anymore, and it should be noted that if you abstain, you are doing the right thing. Nocturnal emissions might be messy to clean up every night, but it is better than the consequences of sin.

Responsibility is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a good thing to be responsible for yourself to your spouse, and in some ways, also responsible for a spouse. And marriage is a good thing - but only when you marry someone who is a good match for you. I think a lot of people come onto the internet and talk about their suffering in marriage because they have no one in real life to talk to. It is very hard in real life to be vulnerable to a community who witnessed you marry - and then to admit when problems start in the marriage that can't be resolved. There is one way to tell if someone is right for you, and that is when there are problems in the relationship, is that person just as committed and willing to work on resolving the issues as you are? And how the two of you resolve your issues - and navigate the unresolvable issues - is a huge key to making it work. Iow, does your partner still respect you and not want to hurt you even when you fight?

Good example - 20 years ago I was dating. We'd been together for a couple of years without even one fight when we had our first fight. Our voices were raised, emotions were getting out of control... then when he saw I was close to tears, he changed his posture, his shoulders dropped, and he said "even though we disagree right now, you need to know that I love you more than anything!" - and he drew me into a long, tender hug. Sadly, he died before we could marry, but he showed me how well love can work.

As for your comment about young people today not having the maturity to marry, I have to agree. Several generations ago, the social and political landscape changed, where people in their teens were squeezed out of the workforce and so emerged the concept of "teenagers" and school was extended to 12 grades from about 8. With each generation, we keep our children younger and younger (emotionally). They are more dependent on parents, etc. So yes, overall their maturity level has declined (being very general here), and along with that comes changed values, such as college, financial security, etc before marriage. Unfortunately, these social changes set young people up for sexual failure more than ever. Add that to the advent of inappropriate content (starting 60 years ago in the lingerie section of the Sears Catalogue, all the way to unlimited access with the internet), and now young people have a near-impossible expectation of maintaining sexual purity until marriage. I feel sorry for how the social climate has set up our young people for failure.

You are right, that Paul does not intend people to just find anyone who will say yes to sex and then marry them. But Paul was saying that sex and attraction is part of the motivating factor for finding a spouse. If you're going to burn with passion, then you might want to think about finding a spouse... but be wise in who you find and how you go looking.

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

My husband and I have been married for 23 years. We love each other more now that we did when we married, and that is the truth. He is easily my favorite person in the entire world. We have two children together. They make our marriage better. They are not the purpose of our marriage--though there is no doubt, God blessed us so much when He gave us our children.

Do not believe what everyone says about marriage. Just don't. I love being married. My husband is the best part of my life on earth.

PS Your English is great. I wish I knew a second language as well as you do!

I also hope to have a good marriage like yours , I believe that good examples are lacking today.

In my church there are married people, but most of them are much older than I , there are not many young married couples.

 

[Albion]

I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives.

Hmmm. Most of the married people I know are happy being married, so I don't see this as an either-or matter. In addition, Paul didn't mean that anyone should marry JUST FOR the sex. It was more of a general admonition than a directive, and certainly not because of the sexual release only.

In addition, you have a girlfriend, so you cannot be the lost soul who writes to us saying they'll never be like other people, never have anyone care about them, etc. etc.

That doesn't mean that your inquiry is trivial or without merit. We do understand. But part of your problem seems to me to be based upon feeling guilty over normal bodily functioning, which is not the same as feeling guilty or ashamed at wrongful sex-related choices we may have made.

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

That is not the only reason to marry, but it is an enjoyable and important part of most marriages.

I am sorry your parents’ marriage did not provide a positive example of married life for you. I committed to my wife a long time ago, have been married 23 years, and it (and she) has been a huge blessing in my life. I am more and more joyful about my relationship daily, and love my wife dearly (even during our times of hardship, of which we have had our fair share). The responsibility of both marriage and parenthood are the hardest things I have ever taken on, but are also the things that have filled me with the most joy over the years. There is a cost to marriage, but the benefits (for me) have far exceeded that cost...in comfort, companionship, the absence of loneliness...
I have never considered myself handsome, and have had the same temptations as anyone else. Marriage provided a blessed outlet for my sexual desires. I didn’t have many girlfriends, but I found the only one that mattered I needed the end - my wife.
They probably don’t advice because many of them (like myself) didn’t overcome it themselves when younger. I have no advice, but I will pray for you. Some married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a blessing, but it takes hard work, self-sacrifice, and love (see 1 Corinthians 13) to make it work. It is not easy, but it can be worth it.

It sounds like your issues are as much about avoiding sinful sexual thoughts and actions, while recognizing that marriage is a big commitment, which you may not be ready for. Pray, focus on God, and I will pray for you. I have no other advice, as I wasn’t “pure” in any sense in my youth. I thank God that He is forgiving and can overcome any sin. I didn’t see that my sexual sin hurt anyone in my youth; it has only been with age that I realize deep within that I grieved the Lord and, in essence, cheated on my wife with every sexual encounter I had (even before I met her).

May God be with you.

I understand. It's hard to maintain sexual purity these days, many of the girls in my church are no longer virgins, some boys as well, recently a girl in my church became pregnant with her boyfriend, her boyfriend is the son of a deacon.

My parents fight a lot for money, we do not have a good financial situation, but God has always helped us, but my father does not work for many years, here at home, my mother works and my father does things at home. It is good to know that despite the difficulties there are still people who can overcome them, today the divorce rate in the church is the same in the world, I believe that nowadays people do not talk anymore what ends up causing this, any problem and they are already separating.

I feel very embarrassed with sexual desires, before meeting my girlfriend I prayed a lot for these desires to go away, I wanted to be like Paul, but I believe that my motivations were wrong, I wanted to be a eunuch because I did not believe someone could like me and be with me.

I have a certain fear of marriage, of ending up like my father and repeating the same mistakes, even though I am working today and in the middle of college. But I'm tired of repressing my feelings when I like a girl, my first kiss was a couple of years ago with my current and first girlfriend, I was 22 years old. I really like her, I want to be with her, she is very similar to me, she understands me and I feel very well with her, I have a hard time being social with people, but with her it is different.

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

I have no advice about overcoming the libido, though I can definitely related to almost everyone else in the world, that it is a powerful "problem" in today's society (and possibly in generations past as well, though it is amplified today). I see you have a girlfriend. Good for you if you are keeping your relationship pure from sexual sin! Not many people do that anymore, and it should be noted that if you abstain, you are doing the right thing. Nocturnal emissions might be messy to clean up every night, but it is better than the consequences of sin.

Responsibility is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a good thing to be responsible for yourself to your spouse, and in some ways, also responsible for a spouse. And marriage is a good thing - but only when you marry someone who is a good match for you. I think a lot of people come onto the internet and talk about their suffering in marriage because they have no one in real life to talk to. It is very hard in real life to be vulnerable to a community who witnessed you marry - and then to admit when problems start in the marriage that can't be resolved. There is one way to tell if someone is right for you, and that is when there are problems in the relationship, is that person just as committed and willing to work on resolving the issues as you are? And how the two of you resolve your issues - and navigate the unresolvable issues - is a huge key to making it work. Iow, does your partner still respect you and not want to hurt you even when you fight?

Good example - 20 years ago I was dating. We'd been together for a couple of years without even one fight when we had our first fight. Our voices were raised, emotions were getting out of control... then when he saw I was close to tears, he changed his posture, his shoulders dropped, and he said "even though we disagree right now, you need to know that I love you more than anything!" - and he drew me into a long, tender hug. Sadly, he died before we could marry, but he showed me how well love can work.

As for your comment about young people today not having the maturity to marry, I have to agree. Several generations ago, the social and political landscape changed, where people in their teens were squeezed out of the workforce and so emerged the concept of "teenagers" and school was extended to 12 grades from about 8. With each generation, we keep our children younger and younger (emotionally). They are more dependent on parents, etc. So yes, overall their maturity level has declined (being very general here), and along with that comes changed values, such as college, financial security, etc before marriage. Unfortunately, these social changes set young people up for sexual failure more than ever. Add that to the advent of inappropriate content (starting 60 years ago in the lingerie section of the Sears Catalogue, all the way to unlimited access with the internet), and now young people have a near-impossible expectation of maintaining sexual purity until marriage. I feel sorry for how the social climate has set up our young people for failure.

You are right, that Paul does not intend people to just find anyone who will say yes to sex and then marry them. But Paul was saying that sex and attraction is part of the motivating factor for finding a spouse. If you're going to burn with passion, then you might want to think about finding a spouse... but be wise in who you find and how you go looking.

Me and my girlfriend have been trying to keep us sexually pure, but it's been a bit difficult, we've been together for two years and the longer the time together the more intimate, but for now it's been just kissing, her mother is always at home and always passing by us.

We have had problems with masturbation, but this is a problem that has come since before we met, I with the nocturnal emissions and she when the "period" is coming, by what we talked the sensations are very similar, she said that when this period arrives she can not have peace, she is agonized, I have a similar feeling before the emissions come at night

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

Hmmm. Most of the married people I know are happy being married, so I don't see this as an either-or matter. In addition, Paul didn't mean that anyone should marry JUST FOR the sex. It was more of a general admonition than a directive, and certainly not because of the sexual release only.

In addition, you have a girlfriend, so you cannot be the lost soul who writes to us saying they'll never be like other people, never have anyone care about them, etc. etc.

That doesn't mean that your inquiry is trivial or without merit. We do understand. But part of your problem seems to me to be based upon feeling guilty over normal bodily functioning, which is not the same as feeling guilty or ashamed at wrongful sex-related choices we may have made.

Yes, some married people I know are also happy, but when they are going to give advice to singles, it seems that people always put a negative weight on the side of responsibilities. I'm anxious and worried about the future... mainly because he did not have a good example at home, today I try to do my best on my own.

But I'm not like the others, it was a miracle I started dating, and we only get along so well because we are very similar in personality.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Hi, sorry for my English.
My name is Felipe/Philip, I have been a Christian since I was born, I am 24 years old, I am single and I am currently dating.

1. Every time I hear 1 Corinthians 7:9 I have a bad impression, to marry just to have sex, even though I realize that was not what Paul meant.
2. Every time I hear someone preaching about marriage, it always gets a bigger weight on the negatives aspects, in fact, looking at my parents I have no desire to marry. The world is also in this vibe lately, marriage is really a bad thing. I do not know if you can understand me, people talk a lot about the responsibility of marriage, the question is, is responsibility a bad thing?
3. How the elders expect the youngs to marry and leave their parents' house if they only know speak that marriage is a bad thing, or at least that's the impression convey to the youth.
   
4. I was never be handsome, I was fat at school, but I still end up liking some girls I remember praying several times for those feelings to go away, but they always came, same for the body sexual reactions.
5. I do not see a solution to the sexual issue as a single, I feel ashamed of the nocturnal emissions and the erections, I can stay a while if I touch, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets, the feelings are very bad, the region is sensitive and emissions come almost every night. It does not have anything to do with inappropriate contentography, when it all started I did not have access to the internet. My girlfriend also has the same problem with certain periods in the month in which the libido increases. I've already talked to several older people in the church about my problem with the body's sensations, but the advice is always empty, it seems they do not care. Or they forgot what it's like to be single.
   
6. I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a big responsibility, so why does our body develop sexually so soon? Why do not we get into puberty at the age of 20, 25? People were getting married early centuries ago, but today people say that young people do not have the maturity to do so...

Thanks in advance.

Responsibility isn't a bad thing but we aren't to be unaware of it either...where I live the young people who are of marriage age, be about talking about the positives and think that it's about having fun adventures together and enjoying sex.
So with credit cards in hand they go shopping whenever they want to, they go in debt for their things: cars, homes, vacations, clothes, entertainment and so forth.
They have way more stuff than I did when I was at their age and unmarried.

I had my first vacation when I was in my early thirties...and it was paid
in advance...so I enjoyed my vacation, I wasn't wondering about the
bill. All my friends had been on hundreds of vacations by the time I had
my first one!

Someone on here mentioned saving up money to purchase a used car, I haven't
heard of that in a really long time, so I sent them a private message of praise on
doing it that way.

Sexual desires...Nothing wrong with getting married, sexual desires be natural and we all have them...it's usually one of the first motivating factors to getting married, as is: love, mutual respect, attraction, how you honor/serve the Lord, spiritual maturity, compatibility etc.

Many of us learn to endure sexual longings, just like we learn to endure other
hardships in life, like being without regular employment for an extended period of time, not having enough money to pay all the bills on time, being confined to bed
due to a back injury etc. Sometimes you just pray, cry, read the Bible and keep
holding on to the Lord who know all about pain and suffering.

I know two people who got married out of necessity, both of them were from poor families and both had ending up leaving home once they become of age, one of them had a job and one day they met up at a grocery stand, they were attracted to one another and they began spending time together and shared their life stories and decided to get married within a short period of time...and they had three children and I'm one of those children.

 

[planet_joe]

Marriage is most definitely a good thing. God made us a sexual species, we're designed to have and enjoy sex. Sex is not something to be ashamed of at all, a person is not dirty for wanting and seeking a sexual partner, this is a God given desire. But marriage is where we're supposed to do this, and marriage is more than just sex. It's companionship. The reason people talk badly about marriage is, in my opinion, they've lost the companionship. Maybe some people never had it to start with. To have companionship, you need two people who are honest with themselves and each other and who can work together as one. So many people are so obsessed with the idea of having someone, that they're willing to settle for someone even if that person isn't the best fit for them. They'll get naked physically, but emotionally and spiritually they're hiding behind a mask from each other. So they never really become one. You can't use physicality as a replacement for real intimacy.

 

[Dave-W]

Yes, marriage is good. In fact, the only thing about creation that God saw as bad was man being alone. That was why He made both women and marriage.

Do not let your libido become your enemy. God made it to be your friend.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hi, sorry for my English.
My name is Felipe/Philip, I have been a Christian since I was born, I am 24 years old, I am single and I am currently dating.

1. Every time I hear 1 Corinthians 7:9 I have a bad impression, to marry just to have sex, even though I realize that was not what Paul meant.
2. Every time I hear someone preaching about marriage, it always gets a bigger weight on the negatives aspects, in fact, looking at my parents I have no desire to marry. The world is also in this vibe lately, marriage is really a bad thing. I do not know if you can understand me, people talk a lot about the responsibility of marriage, the question is, is responsibility a bad thing? How the elders expect the youngs to marry and leave their parents' house if they only know speak that marriage is a bad thing, or at least that's the impression convey to the youth.
   
3. I was never be handsome, I was fat at school, but I still end up liking some girls I remember praying several times for those feelings to go away, but they always came, same for the body sexual reactions.
4. I do not see a solution to the sexual issue as a single, I feel ashamed of the nocturnal emissions and the erections, I can stay a while if I touch, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets, the feelings are very bad, the region is sensitive and emissions come almost every night. It does not have anything to do with inappropriate contentography, when it all started I did not have access to the internet. My girlfriend also has the same problem with certain periods in the month in which the libido increases. I've already talked to several older people in the church about my problem with the body's sensations, but the advice is always empty, it seems they do not care. Or they forgot what it's like to be single.
   
5. I'm very confused, "Is better to marry than to burn with passion", but marriage is not just for sex. Marriage is a blessing, but married people only complain about their lives. Marriage is a big responsibility, so why does our body develop sexually so soon? Why do not we get into puberty at the age of 20, 25? People were getting married early centuries ago, but today people say that young people do not have the maturity to do so...

Thanks in advance.

I am married, and marriage is good. It goes through stages, often the initial stages of marriage are difficult, as you have two people who do not see eye to eye. Over time in my marriage things worked out really well, we both get along well together. Sure we have an occasional argument but nothing we can't work on and deal with.

With my parents they never had an argument, they seemed to go well together.

Marriage should not have a lot a negative press, the negativity stems from situations where partners have not learned to get along yet, but with grace, it will work out for them in the end.

I would say if you are having all these passion issues, get married.

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

Yes, marriage is good. In fact, the only thing about creation that God saw as bad was man being alone. That was why He made both women and marriage.

Do not let your libido become your enemy. God made it to be your friend.

Thanks. I hear many stories, including the example of my parents that make me wonder if I really want to get married. I mentioned the sexual issue because from what I see, along with the financial issue, that is one of the causes of problems in marriages. On the libido, as I say, I feel that until I get married or until old age he will be constantly one of my biggest enemies. The big problem nowadays is the high cost of living, I see that people are getting married more and more later, and in the meantime they end up sinning several times in this area.