• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Is Jesus Disappointed in Me?

Discussion in 'One Bread, One Body - Catholic' started by Searching_for_God, Jan 11, 2019 at 9:26 PM.

  1. Searching_for_God

    Searching_for_God Wannabe Catholic Supporter

    221
    +295
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Democrat
    Hello everyone,

    Well, it's been quite a spell since I've been on this forum. So much has happened since I've been on here last. I got into the college program of my choice, my family got a new puppy, and I've been trying to learn how to cook more! ...But that's not exactly why I'm here today. Today, I bring with me bad news and the reasons why the bad news happened.

    The bad news? I dropped out of RCIA after stage one of it was done.

    I didn't drop out of RCIA because I hate Catholicism or anything. Actually, I still think Catholicism is beautiful in my heart. It's just... well, you see, I have a certain mental condition caused by chronic childhood trauma. It's a mental condition that is close to Dissociative Identity Disorder, except I don't have the amnesia needed to qualify for that diagnosis. Basically, what I am trying to say is that I have what I guess you could call "multiple personalities" (although that description is rather outdated by today's standards). These other personalities are not demons or anything like that, but rather they are other parts of a singular personality that were splintered off. Again, it was caused by chronic childhood traumas. I can't remember if I stated my disorder on here before or not, but chances are that I have not due to the stigma that I feared I might get for saying that I had other personality states. But, over the years, I've learned that honesty is the best policy, so now here we are.

    Anyways, moving on, I am the Christian part of the personality system. The only Christian. I've accepted Jesus Christ into my heart and accept him as my lord and savior. And I want to do what it takes to make him happy. So, I decided to talk the main person in our personality system into taking an RCIA class. And we did attend for the entire Summer and it was great! I was able to change some of her personal opinions and such to align more with what God would want... but she didn't accept all of the teachings of the Church and so she dropped out. Not only that, but she reasoned that since the rest of the personality system don't accept the teachings of the Church either, or even identify as Christian, we couldn't honestly join Catholicism. After all, it would be dishonest to say that we all accepted it if that wasn't true... and she's right. It would be fake to do something like that, and that would be like an insult in the eyes of God.

    So, with ALL of that being said, I have a question to ask. Do you think it would be possible for us all to still go to Heaven even if we don't all agree on which path is the right one? I mean, there is another personality part who identifies as Muslim still and another that another that identifies as strictly Jewish (meaning not Messianic). The rest are pretty much Agnostic. I want for us to all believe in the same thing and to be able to get baptized, but each personality part exists as they do for a reason. I can't just change their fundamental beliefs just because I wish they would. It just doesn't work that way.

    My plan was to just pray, read the Bible, go to Church, and do other things like that whenever I'm out. But I feel like that's all I can do. I can't get baptized unless everyone else believes too and, because of that, I feel like I've let God down and that I'm possibly going to receive his wrath after we die because I didn't do a good enough job proselytizing to the other members of my personality system.

    I feel like such a failure... and I'm truly sorry if this is putting a lot on everyone's shoulders. I also apologize if this wasn't the correct forum to place this question in, but I thought since I was wanting to address the Catholics on here that it belonged here specifically. Still, feel free to move the thread if that is what is best.

    Hoping I haven't ruined anyone's view of me,
    SFG
     
    • Prayers Prayers x 5
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • List
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. ml5363

    ml5363 Active Member

    406
    +145
    Christian
    Married
    Accepting Jesus Christ and making him your Lord and Saviour is what matters, no man's rules
     
  3. Rhamiel

    Rhamiel Member of the Round Table

    +8,323
    Catholic
    Single
    God bless you my dear sister

    I have no idea what to say on this
    You have not ruined my view of you at all, you talked a bit before about abuse but not your disassociative disorder

    Pray to God for His mercy
    Trust in Him, His mercy is beyond anything we can comprehend
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • List
  4. step_by_step

    step_by_step Member Supporter

    159
    +249
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    First I'd like to say that I'm proud of you for posting this. As someone who struggles with a sometimes debilitating disorder that affects my faith, I know how hard it can be to open up about things like this.

    Second, God knows your heart. He is not disappointed in you. In fact, I'm sure that he is rejoicing as his daughter wants to come home to him! You should not feel for one moment like a failure. God loves you dearly no matter what.

    That being said, God is more powerful than this mental condition. I know this is so much easier said than done but you must believe it. He can overcome it. It will take time and prayer but I'm certain that God can bring all your personalities to a point where they can believe. I suffer from borderline personality disorder and God has helped me take great leaps and strides to overcome it. I still experience bad days but through it all he has been faithful to lead me through them. And he will do the same for you.

    I'll be praying that God guides you down the right path and that your faith in him will be strengthened. Give it to him and he will take care of the rest.

    God bless :heart:
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Prayers Prayers x 1
    • List
  5. Tomm

    Tomm Christian Supporter

    +725
    Brazil
    Catholic
    Private
    You're right, we should focus on God's rules, not men's. That's why we became Catholics, rather than believing in something like Sola scriptura (unbiblical) or Sola fide (unbiblical).
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2019 at 10:24 PM
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
    • List
  6. ml5363

    ml5363 Active Member

    406
    +145
    Christian
    Married
    But Catholics have lots of man made rules...
     
  7. David Cabrera

    David Cabrera Well-Known Member

    +1,086
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Republican
    Guys, remember this is the Catholic Forum.
     
  8. David Cabrera

    David Cabrera Well-Known Member

    +1,086
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Republican
    .
     
  9. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie Supporter

    +3,445
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    God is not disappointed in you, dear. He loves you very, very much. Follow Christ as best you can, in your heart. Keep fellowshipping with us here. Ask Mary to help you to follow her Son. Take it one day at a time. If possible, go to Mass on Sundays, just to attend, and to be with Christ. Keep us posted, ok?
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  10. Unofficial Reverand Alex

    Unofficial Reverand Alex Look up Jason Evert on YouTube; he changed my life Supporter

    +1,236
    United States
    Catholic
    Single
    Please keep us updated on everything going on with your situation, more for your sake than ours.

    Offer it all to Mary, and ask her to make it proper for God. Come to God, making a prayer I found a year or so ago: "Take me as I am, and make something amazing happen."

    Do you have a copy of the Diary of St. Faustina? It's called Divine Mercy in My Soul, and emphasizes the unfathomable mercy that Jesus dearly wants to give us. Here's a link with some quotes from it, but I highly recommend buying a physical copy to flip through when you need it.

    14 Of The Most Inspiring Quotes from St. Faustina's Diary

    Also, a key tip from a number of saints: offer up your sufferings as prayers for the conversion of sinners.

    Remember, your shortcomings don't change God. God is love; He doesn't know how to not care about you, especially with your strong desire to be with Him.

    Can you get back into RCIA? I'm not sure how it works, if you've been in it for awhile.

    God be with you, and may a piece of advice offered here really helps you.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  11. Unofficial Reverand Alex

    Unofficial Reverand Alex Look up Jason Evert on YouTube; he changed my life Supporter

    +1,236
    United States
    Catholic
    Single
    No worries; you only showed strength.

    God be with you.
     
  12. Fenwick

    Fenwick OG CFer

    +6,153
    United States
    Catholic
    Single
    US-Republican
    False. That's man-made propaganda you're regurgitating. Also, you're in our Catholic forum...it's against the site-wide rules to teach anything contrary to the Church.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  13. jason_delisle

    jason_delisle Well-Known Member

    +1,365
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    The simple answer to your question is no. God is not disappointed with you. Disappointment is the difference between expectation and reality. The greater the difference, more the disappointment. However, it is impossible for God to truly be disappointed because He is omniscient (all-knowing). How can he be disappointed with something if He knew the outcome. Look at it from another perspective. God is not disappointed because He knew the entire time. So to Him, every failure is one step closer to where He wants you to be. So keep your chin up and stop beating yourself up. God is still in control and you are exactly where He expects you to be. Peace.
     
  14. chevyontheriver

    chevyontheriver Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,998
    United States
    Catholic
    Married
    US-American-Solidarity
    ESPECIALLY when this thread is about something entirely different.
     
  15. chevyontheriver

    chevyontheriver Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,998
    United States
    Catholic
    Married
    US-American-Solidarity
    Thank you for sharing all of this. Our prayers are with you, all of you.

    And since all of you are in the end one person, even with multiple personalities, know that entire person is loved by God, and His lovingkindness is with you even when not all of you feels it.

    I have observed the growth in your faith over these several months, and I expect there to be more growth as you integrate this faith into your person bit by bit. None of us are 100% anyhow. We all have our moments of sin or doubt and doublemindedness. You can see that better in yourself than most of us can.

    You have our prayers. You have the love of the king of the universe. That same king and creator of the universe knows you intimately. Relax in His love. That will be how healing comes for the trauma of your youth. God loves you. God is redeeming you. Be thankful for that and rest in it for now. Let it sink in to the personalities, who may deny or resist for now.

    I will bring this up for prayer today with the men's group that will be coming over to my house for a study. Do keep in touch. I expect to hear back from you soon.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  16. Searching_for_God

    Searching_for_God Wannabe Catholic Supporter

    221
    +295
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Democrat
    Hello again everyone,

    I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that left me a comment for your support. It's not easy for me to bring up what I've been struggling with because of how sensitive it can be in nature, so it means a lot to me that everyone left a nice and respectful comment. :)

    I ended up going to Mass today with my family as well as praying the rosary and, honestly, I could feel God's love with me today. It felt like He was nudging me forward to do all of this today, and I'm glad that He did. It's been so long since I've last had a Sunday this wonderful. I miss going to church with my family and spending time with them like I used to. I'm going to make more of an effort to go to church more often and pray more. And who knows? Maybe this time around, I'll be able to convince the others in my personality system to believe in what Catholicism teaches as well. But in the meantime, I suppose I'll just try to lead by example and keep studying.

    May my efforts to please God be sufficient. Amen.
     
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  17. Rhamiel

    Rhamiel Member of the Round Table

    +8,323
    Catholic
    Single
    God bless you, I am almost in tears, thank you so much for trusting us with this intimate detail of your life, may the Lord bless you and protect you from all harm
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  18. Searching_for_God

    Searching_for_God Wannabe Catholic Supporter

    221
    +295
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Democrat
    And thank you ever so much for listening with such a kind heart. May God bless and protect you as well. :cherryblossom:
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
Loading...