Is it so bad to be personal???

[dayofgrace]

Like i would tell you

I´m the black sheep and a person who is not afraid to be real

I used to be a black sheep, until I wore out my shade.

 

[Maria.V.H]

I used to be a black sheep, until I wore out my shade.

Really?? i´m happy for you dear! There is nothing wrong with being a black sheep because there is knowledge in everything. Maybe we have learned more being black sheeps than we would have being white...

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I can understand not "getting personal" out in the world but when it happens amongst the church it's very sad.

I've said this before but I believe that while people have tons of acquaintances and associates, a person will be extremely lucky to go through life having had one friend.

people don't really care about each other. socialization is all about amusement, entertainment and commodity. this is why marriages fail so often. marriage forces you to get to know someone who is different from you which goes beyond liking the same movies, food, and hobbies. do we really believe that the tons of people who get married and divorced had nothing in common when they met?

everything is based on having a persona that people can like and want to be around while not knowing anybody and no one knowing you. we have all sorts of ways to connect with other people and yet society is more lonely and more depressed than it has ever been.

the social game is jacked up!

 

[HenryM]

Some of us have ugly faces.

 

[Maria.V.H]

Some of us have ugly faces.

Excuse me?????? We all have beautiful faces, end of story!!!!!!!!

 

[Paul Yohannan]

I think most forums (including this one) encourage general answers to the forum, rather than personal answers addressing a particular poster. This is done to minimize antagonistic exchanges between people who disagree.

Welcome to Christian Forums!

To be clear on this, we discourage personal attacks and ad hominem replies to posters. On the other hand, members are encouraged to cultivate personal friendships!

So when we say "address the argument and not the member making it," we are referring to arguments, to debates, not to posts in fellowship.

I like to think I have very good friendships with some members of CF.com who I disagree with on almost all points of theology or politics.

Life is too short to be unpleasant to people.

 

[John Hyperspace]

A lot of you don´t even have pictures on your profile, but have no problem telling everyone how wrong they are, does that match???

Why do we talk with each other if we don´t want to get to know each other???

When i ask questions i almost never get a personal answer, just a lot of facts, where is the personality in us???

Why are we so afraid to be personal??

I think we are afraid to be personal because then people can judge us. But isn´t life to short for that???

I think we are afraid to be personal because then we are naked, we have nothing to hide behind.

 

[Martyr's Crown]

Some of the reasons for why I have become more careful with when or what I share with others is because of so many times getting hurt, rejected and judged by others. I am normally a very open and honest person, and I am always glad whenever I feel like I can be myself and show more from how I really am as a person.

Unfortunately not all people are as friendly or I do also sometimes meet people who get's easily offended as well as they take it waay too personal if you say or do something different from how they think themselves. Once you've given them one bad impression of you or you upset them, they have already put you into their blackmail/dislike list.

It is sad. Lately I feel more like I shouldn't say so much. I have started withdrawing myself from most people, more because I am so exhausted of having to feel like I need to explain myself, and I am tired of having to prove myself as good enough. I feel as not many really understand me, and so many judge too quick before they really know me.

I know that the only one who knows us completely is God, I am trying to work on focusing more on what He says and thinks in His Word. I also know I am not alone, but yet I feel saddened and wished I had some support by other Christians too. This is also another reason I don't feel comfortable opening up about my struggles in a church or with most other Christians, as they too can be very quick with judging. I do feel easily more comfortable sharing in a forum online, even though you will also find a lot of rude and insensitive people in Christian forums too, so it is wise being a bit careful at times, with what we share as well.

Anyways, perhaps some of you think it is a bad move of me to start withdrawing from people, although the way it works with me is that when I do this I will also be a lot more easier avaiable for God's help to be reaching down to me. There is a time for everything, and maybe this is something which is needed for me to do so that I can become stronger faithed and grow closer in the relationship to my Lord.

 

[Maria.V.H]

Some of the reasons for why I have become more careful with when or what I share with others is because of so many times getting hurt, rejected and judged by others. I am normally a very open and honest person, and I am always glad whenever I feel like I can be myself and show more from how I really am as a person.

Unfortunately not all people are as friendly or I do also sometimes meet people who get's easily offended as well as they take it waay too personal if you say or do something different from how they think themselves. Once you've given them one bad impression of you or you upset them, they have already put you into their blackmail/dislike list.

It is sad. Lately I feel more like I shouldn't say so much. I have started withdrawing myself from most people, more because I am so exhausted of having to feel like I need to explain myself, and I am tired of having to prove myself as good enough. I feel as not many really understand me, and so many judge too quick before they really know me.

I know that the only one who knows us completely is God, I am trying to work on focusing more on what He says and thinks in His Word. I also know I am not alone, but yet I feel saddened and wished I had some support by other Christians too. This is also another reason I don't feel comfortable opening up about my struggles in a church or with most other Christians, as they too can be very quick with judging. I do feel easily more comfortable sharing in a forum online, even though you will also find a lot of rude and insensitive people in Christian forums too, so it is wise being a bit careful at times, with what we share as well.

Anyways, perhaps some of you think it is a bad move of me to start withdrawing from people, although the way it works with me is that when I do this I will also be a lot more easier avaiable for God's help to be reaching down to me. There is a time for everything, and maybe this is something which is needed for me to do so that I can become stronger faithed and grow closer in the relationship to my Lord.

Thank you for that lovely reply.

i understand you dear, it´s not easy being open, especially with all the people saying we are wrong everywhere we go, but for me, i know in my heart, that we all have a shelf, even though there is a million people putting us down, there will always be that one person having the same view as you. Seriously, where is the love??? Sometimes i´m really ashamed of people who claim to believe, if this is faith, then i´m sorry, but then i want out! This is what i feel sometimes, but then i turn it around and think that people are different, and we all have our own way of seeing things, and things just can´t be discussed. I hope you never loose you voice, i hope that you will find strength inside to be proud of who you are, don´t let people tread on you. If people don´t like you for you, then it´s on their behalf, not yours. You are a beautiful being, full of light, don´t let anyone take that away!!

 

[Martyr's Crown]

Thank you for that lovely reply.

i understand you dear, it´s not easy being open, especially with all the people saying we are wrong everywhere we go, but for me, i know in my heart, that we all have a shelf, even though there is a million people putting us down, there will always be that one person having the same view as you. Seriously, where is the love??? Sometimes i´m really ashamed of people who claim to believe, if this is faith, then i´m sorry, but then i want out! This is what i feel sometimes, but then i turn it around and think that people are different, and we all have our own way of seeing things, and things just can´t be discussed. I hope you never loose you voice, i hope that you will find strength inside to be proud of who you are, don´t let people tread on you. If people don´t like you for you, then it´s on their behalf, not yours. You are a beautiful being, full of light, don´t let anyone take that away!!

Thank you for all of your words! I am just easily moved right now. *Hugs*

It all may be a process I need going through first, and then when the right timing is there I will no longer feel as silenced anymore.

I wish you a great day in Him today!

 

[Wolfe]

Ask any questions you'd like, I have nothing to hide.

If you think it's too personal of a question to ask, that means it's a good question.
Ask it.

 

[Wolfe]

Excuse me?????? We all have beautiful faces, end of story!!!!!!!!

I actually rather like my face, now that I've lost some weight, and got rid of the lot of these pimples.

Still got some work to do, that's a 1 in a million picture.

Also got a hump on my neck, kinda weird lookin.

if it weren't for the rest of my body being full of so many scars, I'd be an okay lookin fella.

 

[Maria.V.H]

I actually rather like my face, now that I've lost some weight, and got rid of the lot of these pimples.

Still got some work to do, that's a 1 in a million picture.

Also got a hump on my neck, kinda weird lookin.

if it weren't for the rest of my body being full of so many scars, I'd be an okay lookin fella.

You are a beautiful person, scars or not!!!!!!!!!! that is what i think!!!!! You seem very angry when you write, it´s scary... Sorry, don´t want to push you out of the edge, i hope it´s not me, that i´ve said anything wrong, if i have, i´m really sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Maria.V.H]

Thank you for all of your words! I am just easily moved right now. *Hugs*

It all may be a process I need going through first, and then when the right timing is there I will no longer feel as silenced anymore.

I wish you a great day in Him today!

Don´t cry dear, please don´t feel silenced, dare to take the first step, if it counts, i´m listening.

 

[dqhall]

Hello precious honeybees

I think we are afraid to be personal because then people can judge us. But isn´t life to short for that???

I think we are afraid to be personal because then we are naked, we have nothing to hide behind.

I wish you a beautiful day, stay precious!!!

I posted my photo in an online dating site, but it was more my writing that got me dates. I found a lady I could call and go on outings with. She and I have been able to discuss personal things we would not discuss with strangers.

In a forum such as this one, there were topic oriented discussions. Sometimes people recounted things they had read, seen or heard including. Biblical knowledge comes in handy at times. Knowledge is more important than facial appearances. Developing the inner person more important than cosmetic changes.

 

[Martyr's Crown]

Don´t cry dear, please don´t feel silenced, dare to take the first step, if it counts, i´m listening.

Thanks! Although I cried because I felt touched by what you wrote, so it wasn't something bad. I also think it is good therapy for me to cry out when this is needed. Better to cry it out than to keep everything inside, makes me feel like a dry desert then.

I do think it is more easy opening up online, it is more outside in the world away from the computer screen where I feel a lot more silenced, or have more difficulties in wording myself right lately. And then it really depends on what I am going through, during my most difficult days I may not always feel comfortable in sharing with others.

For example; I remember some times when I struggled a lot and I went into a Christian chatroom, I wrote in there asking if anyone could talk to me or pray whilst I was sitting there in tears, and no one really cared to answer. This happened more times, and I just ended up keeping everything for myself, and would enter there when I was doing fine, and everytime I felt it was difficult I'd keep my distances from there. It was also very frustrating seeing a lot of chatters notice other ones who asked for help and prayer, I felt very neglected during this time, and also very alone with my struggles. I have also had some similiar experiences in some other Christian forums, though I've thought it was perhaps for the best that I stayed away from there back then.

I do will work on opening more up in here in this forum, I have already opened up in some other topics. I do also can worry about being judged wrongly,especially when it is about stuff which makes me more vulnerable. Although, one cannot avoid meeting people who thinks different, so I will have to just learn handling it in a way which doesn't put me down nor makes my day worse.

 

[Maria.V.H]

Thanks! Although I cried because I felt touched by what you wrote, so it wasn't something bad. I also think it is good therapy for me to cry out when this is needed. Better to cry it out than to keep everything inside, makes me feel like a dry desert then.

I do think it is more easy opening up online, it is more outside in the world away from the computer screen where I feel a lot more silenced, or have more difficulties in wording myself right lately. And then it really depends on what I am going through, during my most difficult days I may not always feel comfortable in sharing with others.

For example; I remember some times when I struggled a lot and I went into a Christian chatroom, I wrote in there asking if anyone could talk to me or pray whilst I was sitting there in tears, and no one really cared to answer. This happened more times, and I just ended up keeping everything for myself, and would enter there when I was doing fine, and everytime I felt it was difficult I'd keep my distances from there. It was also very frustrating seeing a lot of chatters notice other ones who asked for help and prayer, I felt very neglected during this time, and also very alone with my struggles. I have also had some similiar experiences in some other Christian forums, though I've thought it was perhaps for the best that I stayed away from there back then.

I do will work on opening more up in here in this forum, I have already opened up in some other topics. I do also can worry about being judged wrongly,especially when it is about stuff which makes me more vulnerable. Although, one cannot avoid meeting people who thinks different, so I will have to just learn handling it in a way which doesn't put me down nor makes my day worse.

Me too. I cry often too, not because i´m depressed but becaused i´m moved by things, i think that is a gift, to cry, and like you say it relieves.

I don´t know dear, some days i think this a great idea, to interact with people, here online but sometimes i feel what´s the use.. I think because we sit here behind the screen that no one interact when it comes to it, it´s just about throwing opinions around, no one gets close to no one, it´s all so... i don´t know useless somehow compared to outside in the real life.. But then along the way comes a person who talks to you on a deeper level and then things seem alright you know.

I´m really sorry no one prayed for you or helped you!!!. When we need it the most, it´s when we are most vulnerable to rejection. Life is not fair, no one said it would be. It´s like everything is about me,me,me, it does not matter to show compassion, there is no compassion. The only thing that matters is who can yell the loudest, it´s that one that get all the attention, funny isn´t it. I have always looked for the little sad one in the back of the class, the one that does not say anything, the one that wanders alone, always looking down, that one i would give everything to, but that´s just me.

This is what we learn, if we have hope in our hearts but are let down, we become like this, we loose hope, it becomes very difficult to open up to people, but seriously, you should always remember that you are just as much worth as everyone else. If people won´t give you the time of day, then it´s their loss, and then you should give it to yourself. You can also give yourself love, please remember! Always keep your head up high. I am very different from others here too i feel, i speak with my heart, i only talk about things that involve humanity, i too get very very very sad and sometimes cry when people use hard words towards me. But no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much people hurt my feelings i will always believe, believe in the gift i have, because i know i have a gift and you do too, and no one can silence us but ourselves. So come on, let´s not make them take our voice!!!! We have just as much right to have a voice than everyone else here and in real life...

I wish you a beautiful evening!!!!

 

[nChrist]

Everyone is different in terms of how much or how little personal information they share. Sharing some kinds of personal information can lead to security problems (i.e. real name, email address, etc.). Each person finds their own comfort level, and some learn the hard way what not to share. It's easy to be friendly without being too personal. Example: being too personal can lead some believe that they are flirting - male or female. I personally think that it's wise to be somewhat conservative and avoid giving some people the wrong idea. Me - I've been married over 40 years, and I don't flirt or anything close to it. We can have friendship and fellowship without being too personal.

Most people enjoy the forum based on finding their own comfort levels. This also applies to choosing what areas of the forums to participate in.

 

[Dosblade]

What if I dont want to run but walk away?

I dont think its bad.. I am not.

"black sheep". I know a young man at the time said "I am weird/strange and their normal." One day GOD corrected him. He said..no.. "your normal and they are weird/strange" \

I know your playing yet.. truth be.. your the white sheep..that tends to stand out more then others..seems to be free..not letting things that get to others touch her..I dont know.. like shines wow so bright

 

[Maria.V.H]

What if I dont want to run but walk away?

I dont think its bad.. I am not.

"black sheep". I know a young man at the time said "I am weird/strange and their normal." One day GOD corrected him. He said..no.. "your normal and they are weird/strange" \

I know your playing yet.. truth be.. your the white sheep..that tends to stand out more then others..seems to be free..not letting things that get to others touch her..I dont know.. like shines wow so bright

You are allowed to do whatever you want, go, walk run, do whatever Thank you, I do let things get to me, like the hate that is here, wow, how can people be like that, this is so not for me...