Is it possible to just drink a couple?

[changewithgrace]

After a couple of arrests and a developed binge drinking/alcohol abuse problem I want to quit. I am wondering if for ever in the future I can allow myslef to drink a little? For me it has always been on the weekends and never effected work or school. But has effected health and money...and legal problems. I would like to be able to have a beer with my dad or friends and have that be it. I want to be alcohol free but controled enough to have one or two on occasion. Is this possible or a bad mindset? I could do this even during my problem days. I guess my drinking started as being purposeful but transformed as to be out of control. I never got addicted but couldnt stop myself once I reached a certain level of intoxication.

 

[motherprayer]

I wouldn't recommend it. I dealt with alcohol abuse in the past. I stopped drinking entirely after I realized how much of my money was going to liquor. Well, this past Halloween, the friend we went out with to trick or treat had marguaritas and I decided it was safe, why not?

Ack.

I ended up blacking out. My husband took a video of it, it was really pathetic. I will never drink again after that. I had NO IDEA how much I was drinking, and I basically ruined Halloween for my daughters because of it.

 

[RuthD]

If drinking is causing you serious problems then you have an alcohol problem and it is best to go to AA and try to stop all together. You can drink plenty of other things with your family. I do that now since I realized I get drunk when I drink and have been in similar situations as you have.

 

[Ana the Ist]

After a couple of arrests and a developed binge drinking/alcohol abuse problem I want to quit. I am wondering if for ever in the future I can allow myslef to drink a little? For me it has always been on the weekends and never effected work or school. But has effected health and money...and legal problems. I would like to be able to have a beer with my dad or friends and have that be it. I want to be alcohol free but controled enough to have one or two on occasion. Is this possible or a bad mindset? I could do this even during my problem days. I guess my drinking started as being purposeful but transformed as to be out of control. I never got addicted but couldnt stop myself once I reached a certain level of intoxication.

Possible? Absolutely. Possible for you? That's a different question. I never liked alcohol...even when I was in my college days and surrounded by it. My friends would drink themselves into oblivion and I would just have a couple and go home. Most of them ended up getting a dui at some point or in a bad wreck...I never did. The majority of those friends have since stopped and lead responsible lives...there are a couple that still decide to overdo it.

So it has been my experience that most young men go through a "phase" where they drink irresponsibly...to their own detriment. Later, most of these guys will realize how dumb and immature this is and begin to look down on this behavior...the same behavior they used to brag about. A few will never change though...they will have problems with alcohol their whole lives.

 

[changewithgrace]

Possible? Absolutely. Possible for you? That's a different question. I never liked alcohol...even when I was in my college days and surrounded by it. My friends would drink themselves into oblivion and I would just have a couple and go home. Most of them ended up getting a dui at some point or in a bad wreck...I never did. The majority of those friends have since stopped and lead responsible lives...there are a couple that still decide to overdo it.

So it has been my experience that most young men go through a "phase" where they drink irresponsibly...to their own detriment. Later, most of these guys will realize how dumb and immature this is and begin to look down on this behavior...the same behavior they used to brag about. A few will never change though...they will have problems with alcohol their whole lives.

Yes I have been through the phase and knowingly at times felt that it was a problem and failed to admit it to myslef. I did get a DUI almost 2 yrs ago and at first stopped drinking. Then I developed the mindset that as long as I dont drive, stay responsible with work and school then ok I can drink. It worked fine for a good while and I finished half a master;s with a 4.0...and did great at work. But on the weekends I still drink way beyond I should and the problem acutally got worse. I was arrested on new years while walking on a sidewalk and acted a bit disordely in the police station and got a drunk and disorderly. Not nearly as severe but still a bad thing. My alcohl level was nearly 3x the legal limit at 2 in the afternoon the following day from the night before when I started. As I am in the military I have already suffered setbacks in my career and may have to encounter more. I finally admitted to myself that I have a problem and I need to stop. I still want to be able to have a drink at dinner or with my dad or have wine with a significant other if I have one again at some point. I think that abstaing for me in the best and to not drink to get intoxicated but I want to be able to have one or two on occasion...but then again it could be the tipping point to lead me back to old behaviors. After my DUI I failed to admit that I had a problem with drinking and just continued on my way with extreme caution never to drive again. So for now I am going to quite but maybe for the future it would be best too. I will pray on the matter and know that I have to completely change the lifestyle that I was leading.

 

[Ana the Ist]

Yes I have been through the phase and knowingly at times felt that it was a problem and failed to admit it to myslef. I did get a DUI almost 2 yrs ago and at first stopped drinking. Then I developed the mindset that as long as I dont drive, stay responsible with work and school then ok I can drink. It worked fine for a good while and I finished half a master;s with a 4.0...and did great at work. But on the weekends I still drink way beyond I should and the problem acutally got worse. I was arrested on new years while walking on a sidewalk and acted a bit disordely in the police station and got a drunk and disorderly. Not nearly as severe but still a bad thing. My alcohl level was nearly 3x the legal limit at 2 in the afternoon the following day from the night before when I started. As I am in the military I have already suffered setbacks in my career and may have to encounter more. I finally admitted to myself that I have a problem and I need to stop. I still want to be able to have a drink at dinner or with my dad or have wine with a significant other if I have one again at some point. I think that abstaing for me in the best and to not drink to get intoxicated but I want to be able to have one or two on occasion...but then again it could be the tipping point to lead me back to old behaviors. After my DUI I failed to admit that I had a problem with drinking and just continued on my way with extreme caution never to drive again. So for now I am going to quite but maybe for the future it would be best too. I will pray on the matter and know that I have to completely change the lifestyle that I was leading.

I'm of the mindset that abstinence doesn't work...this is why AA's success rate is so low. If you feel you're past that heavy drinking phase of your life, then by all means, give it a try. The key, I think, is to avoid drinking in those situations where you know you'd be inclined to drink a lot. Dinner out with the family? No problem. Football party with the guys....don't drink a drop. Moderation is something learned...not something set in our genes.

 

[dgiharris]

I'm of the mindset that abstinence doesn't work...this is why AA's success rate is so low. If you feel you're past that heavy drinking phase of your life, then by all means, give it a try. The key, I think, is to avoid drinking in those situations where you know you'd be inclined to drink a lot. Dinner out with the family? No problem. Football party with the guys....don't drink a drop. Moderation is something learned...not something set in our genes.

I could not imagine a worse post. Obviously you have no experience with addicts or people who have a drinking problem.

AA's success rate being low has nothing to do with their insistence on abstinence but everything to do with the nature of the disease of addiction.

Also, there have been a bazillion studies that confirm a genetic disposition to addiction. The Genetics of Addiction - Is Addiction a Disease?

OP, lets use some creativity here and reverse the question somewhat.

Lets say you are a demon that is living inside yourself. Your mission is to destroy the life and soul of the being you inhabit. You identify that this being has a severe problem/weakness with alcohol, that when you get this being to drink, you can dramatically increase your control over this being.

If you were this demon, what would you do? Would you plant the seed into this being's mind that having just a "couple of drinks" is okay? That abstinence is bad, that even though this being has had serious past problems with alcohol that he can still manage just a "couple of drinks."

If I were a demon living inside of you, I would be licking my chomps at the idea that you think you can control yourself and have a "couple of drinks".

Here is exactly how this will play out.

You will convince yourself that you can handle a couple of drinks (despite the clear past evidence that you can't)

You will then hang out with your dad or friends or whatever and have a "couple of drinks" and be 100% fine for a few weeks. This will serve as validation that you have "cured" yourself.

Then, you will go from 2 drinks to 3 drinks and be fine for a few weeks or months, again validating that you are now suddenly fine with alcohol. Then you will go from 3 drinks to 4 drinks to binge drinking again and wake up with your car plowed into a minivan full of children...

You've proven that you can't control your alcohol intake, normal people don't get arrested for drinking.

Here is my advice for you. Abstain for 5 years and then after 5 years you will have a better perspective on this.

I'm 37 years old and over the course of my entire life, I've had less than 100 drinks. I only drink during special occasions and I'm usually the designated driver when I go out with friends. Basically, alcohol isn't a prerequisite for fun or having a good time. Its not like you are giving up anything special

 

[keith99]

After a couple of arrests and a developed binge drinking/alcohol abuse problem I want to quit. I am wondering if for ever in the future I can allow myslef to drink a little? For me it has always been on the weekends and never effected work or school. But has effected health and money...and legal problems. I would like to be able to have a beer with my dad or friends and have that be it. I want to be alcohol free but controled enough to have one or two on occasion. Is this possible or a bad mindset? I could do this even during my problem days. I guess my drinking started as being purposeful but transformed as to be out of control. I never got addicted but couldnt stop myself once I reached a certain level of intoxication.

It is possible.

But is is also easy to fall into a trap of "just one more".

The problem with any line other than none is that you can rationalize moving the line.

On hte other side I've heard stories of those who take the none at all route and have one nearbeer and then totally fall off the wagon. If true there are NOT from any physicalk reaction, simple fruit juice has some alcohol in it, about the same as alcohol free beer or wine. Clearly in such cases it is a case of the magic line being broken.

IF you decide to eventually try an occasional drink I would STRONGLY advise deciding on ht eline for the night at least days ahead and NEVER have one drop more than you decided.

I'd also advise none for at least 2 year or twice the time you had problems with booze, whichever is longer.

And finally beware, if you do decide to have a few and break your own rules and have more than you planned and nothing bad happens that is the time to be afraid, for that is often the first step on the road having just one more over and over until you are back to worse than ever.

 

[Ana the Ist]

I could not imagine a worse post. Obviously you have no experience with addicts or people who have a drinking problem.

AA's success rate being low has nothing to do with their insistence on abstinence but everything to do with the nature of the disease of addiction.

Also, there have been a bazillion studies that confirm a genetic disposition to addiction. The Genetics of Addiction - Is Addiction a Disease?

OP, lets use some creativity here and reverse the question somewhat.

Lets say you are a demon that is living inside yourself. Your mission is to destroy the life and soul of the being you inhabit. You identify that this being has a severe problem/weakness with alcohol, that when you get this being to drink, you can dramatically increase your control over this being.

If you were this demon, what would you do? Would you plant the seed into this being's mind that having just a "couple of drinks" is okay? That abstinence is bad, that even though this being has had serious past problems with alcohol that he can still manage just a "couple of drinks."

If I were a demon living inside of you, I would be licking my chomps at the idea that you think you can control yourself and have a "couple of drinks".

Here is exactly how this will play out.

You will convince yourself that you can handle a couple of drinks (despite the clear past evidence that you can't)

You will then hang out with your dad or friends or whatever and have a "couple of drinks" and be 100% fine for a few weeks. This will serve as validation that you have "cured" yourself.

Then, you will go from 2 drinks to 3 drinks and be fine for a few weeks or months, again validating that you are now suddenly fine with alcohol. Then you will go from 3 drinks to 4 drinks to binge drinking again and wake up with your car plowed into a minivan full of children...

You've proven that you can't control your alcohol intake, normal people don't get arrested for drinking.

Here is my advice for you. Abstain for 5 years and then after 5 years you will have a better perspective on this.

I'm 37 years old and over the course of my entire life, I've had less than 100 drinks. I only drink during special occasions and I'm usually the designated driver when I go out with friends. Basically, alcohol isn't a prerequisite for fun or having a good time. Its not like you are giving up anything special

My advice to the OP would be to ignore this post completely. I really don't know how to describe the irony of accusing me of not knowing anything about drinking and alcoholism then closing out a post with the statement "over the course of my entire life, I've had less than 100 drinks."

There is a genetic aspect to addiction, however the importance of that aspect on behavior is highly disputed. Some scientists say that its a major influence, some say its minor...the important thing here is you control your behavior. Whether you have a genetic predisposition to addiction or not...ultimately its you who decides if and how much you drink.

The view this post gives of alcoholism is archaic at best. This isn't a black and white situation. It's not as if you're either an uncontrollable alcoholic or you aren't. There are varying degrees of "problem drinkers" that span the range in between. Here's a few facts you may not know....

Abstinence only programs like AA are abysmally ineffective. Only 5% of drinkers who start such a program are still sober 3 years later. This fact is why they push the "alcoholism is a disease" narrative so hard....not because its true, but because it becomes an excuse for the failures of such programs.

The overwhelming majority of "problem drinkers" learn to self-moderate on their own. Most will never enter a program, most will not continue to have problems with alcohol. My college buddies, who had the same problems you do, are a great example of this. I'm talking about guys who drank 7 nights a week, blacked out on most of them, heavy, heavy drinkers. Of the 8 of them...7 had a dui, 1 had two duis, one had 3. One totaled his father's car by wrapping it around a telephone post. I could literally fill this post with stories. Nowadays they still drink, in moderation. No blacking out, no arrests, no driving drunk. They have good jobs and families. Only one really still has a problem and its debatable how bad it is.

You've managed to limit yourself before...with some success. You can do it again...mistakes help you learn what you did wrong and how to correct it. Don't give up on yourself or buy into some notion that its all or nothing.

Of course, I'm making this assessment based on the limited info you gave. To me, you sound like so many of the guys I hung out with growing up. You've done your partying, you've made some mistakes, you've paid the consequences. You're realizing this is something you need to get under control. If you feel like the only way is to never drink again...then do that, and I wish you luck. Personally, I feel like that is avoiding the problem rather than solving it...because if you do ever try to drink again, you still haven't learned to moderate....you're essentially back where you started. I think your best chance is to learn when to say enough is enough. Learning your limitations is part of growing up.

 

[dgiharris]

My advice to the OP would be to ignore this post completely. I really don't know how to describe the irony of accusing me of not knowing anything about drinking and alcoholism then closing out a post with the statement "over the course of my entire life, I've had less than 100 drinks."

There is a genetic aspect to addiction, however the importance of that aspect on behavior is highly disputed. Some scientists say that its a major influence, some say its minor...the important thing here is you control your behavior. Whether you have a genetic predisposition to addiction or not...ultimately its you who decides if and how much you drink.

The view this post gives of alcoholism is archaic at best. This isn't a black and white situation. It's not as if you're either an uncontrollable alcoholic or you aren't. There are varying degrees of "problem drinkers" that span the range in between. Here's a few facts you may not know....

Abstinence only programs like AA are abysmally ineffective. Only 5% of drinkers who start such a program are still sober 3 years later. This fact is why they push the "alcoholism is a disease" narrative so hard....not because its true, but because it becomes an excuse for the failures of such programs.

The overwhelming majority of "problem drinkers" learn to self-moderate on their own. Most will never enter a program, most will not continue to have problems with alcohol. My college buddies, who had the same problems you do, are a great example of this. I'm talking about guys who drank 7 nights a week, blacked out on most of them, heavy, heavy drinkers. Of the 8 of them...7 had a dui, 1 had two duis, one had 3. One totaled his father's car by wrapping it around a telephone post. I could literally fill this post with stories. Nowadays they still drink, in moderation. No blacking out, no arrests, no driving drunk. They have good jobs and families. Only one really still has a problem and its debatable how bad it is.

You've managed to limit yourself before...with some success. You can do it again...mistakes help you learn what you did wrong and how to correct it. Don't give up on yourself or buy into some notion that its all or nothing.

Of course, I'm making this assessment based on the limited info you gave. To me, you sound like so many of the guys I hung out with growing up. You've done your partying, you've made some mistakes, you've paid the consequences. You're realizing this is something you need to get under control. If you feel like the only way is to never drink again...then do that, and I wish you luck. Personally, I feel like that is avoiding the problem rather than solving it...because if you do ever try to drink again, you still haven't learned to moderate....you're essentially back where you started. I think your best chance is to learn when to say enough is enough. Learning your limitations is part of growing up.

The problem with your argument about AA being only 5% effective is that the AA population pool is skewed and is comprised of the worst of the absolute worst, like the furthest right wing of the bell curve. Whereas the population pool you are envisioning is comprised of a more bell shaped pool of people. So apples and oranges.

Drinking to the point where you black out and or repeatedly get arrested shows a staggering lack of discipline that would indicate that OP is just not responsible enough to drink.

Real life is not a video game. There is no reset button. If you are going to make a mistake here, it is way better for OP to make the mistake by sliding too far to the abstinence side vs "Well, I'll just choose to control myself despite the fact that the past evidence indicates I do not have this ability..."

I know of a lot of people who were not full fledged addicts but went to AA just to gain a measure of control, abstained for a year or so and then quit AA and learned to moderate their drinking.

If OP were to take your advice and try to moderate his drinking, I see no reason why he couldn't start with AA, get scared straight, abstain for a year or two, and then moderate....

Or put another way, OP has demonstrated he is not emotionally mature enough to drink and thus he has some more emotional growing and maturing to do. So, take a couple of years to grow and mature.

FWIW, I worked in a recovery center. I was only stating the 100 drinks things to prove that you can enjoy life without alcohol. And I went out all the time in college and my 20s. In fact, I was very popular because I was an automatic designated driver.

 

[dgiharris]

...
The overwhelming majority of "problem drinkers" learn to self-moderate on their own. Most will never enter a program, most will not continue to have problems with alcohol. My college buddies, who had the same problems you do, are a great example of this. I'm talking about guys who drank 7 nights a week, blacked out on most of them, heavy, heavy drinkers. Of the 8 of them...7 had a dui, 1 had two duis, one had 3. One totaled his father's car by wrapping it around a telephone post. I could literally fill this post with stories. Nowadays they still drink, in moderation. No blacking out, no arrests, no driving drunk. They have good jobs and families. Only one really still has a problem and its debatable how bad it is. .

I wanted to focus in on this. You seem desensitized to the problem here. Your college buddies by your own account have endangered the public countless times.

Your "problem drinkers" kill over 10,000 people per year in drunk driving accidents and injure 100,000s. So its not a trivial problem.

30% of all traffic accidents involve alcohol. You can quibble all you like but the fact is that alcohol is a huge problem in terms of the amount of lives that are impacted on a daily basis because people like you don't have the proper respect for the problems associated with drinking. And you down play it...

Its not until someone you know dies or gets injured that the truth becomes apparent.

Basically, to me, this subject/thread is like arguing with a teenager... The teenager thinks he/she is indestructible. And then one day they find out the hard way that they are not.

Drinking shouldn't be a right, it should be a privilege. And based on OP's post, imo he has lost the privilege and needs to grow and mature some before he even thinks about drinking again...

 

[changewithgrace]

Thanks for all the posts I will take everything said into consideration. I think that with me it was more of emotional problems that led me to uncontrolable drinking..rather than the drinking itself. I purposeily drank to get drunk and then it would just continue to way beyond what I intended. I have had plenty of nights where I would just have a drink or two...it is just those times when I knowingly would go into a situation where I planned to get drunk..and once I get to a certain level of intoxication I cannot control it. I am 30 so I am a little older. I had a bout in my early to mid- 20's of fairly heavy drinking and then the first 2 years in the military it slowed down quite a bit and I focused heavily on my career and did exceptionally well. After recieving an early promotion I let my guard down and let loose on one night where some bad circumstance led me to making a poor decesion and ended up with a DUI. Following that I thought maybe to quit..but it did not last. I started working on a Master;s degree and would use alcohol as an reward to when I completed my studies. I did very well and completed 7 of 12 classes with a 4.0. But not having a vehicle and cold long winters led me to drinking way more and it got bad. Well that was my excuse anyways. I would drink on and on into the next day and would spend at least one day on the weekend completely hungover. A part of me never forgive myself for the DUI and setting back my career and would drink myself into oblivion. I always left my car at home and thought ok I can drink how I want. Well that caught up to me too. I do feel that at some point I can return to a moderate stage. The thing is after the DUI it was so hammerd into my brain about the driving that it was the only thing that concerend me. Now this abuse/intoxication thing will be hammerd into my brain and feel that at some point I will be able to have a drink or two on occasion. These are just speculations right now and I dont really know if I will return or not. Thanks for the posts and advice.

 

[Luna1991]

One of my favourite AA quotes is always: 1 is too many and 1000 never enough! Sound like you?

Can you have a few? Well from my experience, No. Five years of saying, "I'll only have a couple," every time I start, and always ending up getting drunk and blacking out, passing out. Your drinking style and habits sound very much like mine. And mine has lead to legal problems, financial problems, relationship problems, sex, rape, prostitution, hospitalisation, the lot. And almost every time I'm convinced that I'll drink ore slowly, drink less, and to get not trouble. We just can't do it. We have an addictive chemistry - unfortunately we're just people whose bodies are unable to consume alcohol like other people. The sooner we accept this lesson, the better off we'll be (you can't move onto the next chapter in your life it you keep re-reading the last one!).

And these is what I always have to remind myself when I start to become willful instead of willing:
29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matt 5:29-30

 

[changewithgrace]

One of my favourite AA quotes is always: 1 is too many and 1000 never enough! Sound like you?

Can you have a few? Well from my experience, No. Five years of saying, "I'll only have a couple," every time I start, and always ending up getting drunk and blacking out, passing out. Your drinking style and habits sound very much like mine. And mine has lead to legal problems, financial problems, relationship problems, sex, rape, prostitution, hospitalisation, the lot. And almost every time I'm convinced that I'll drink ore slowly, drink less, and to get not trouble. We just can't do it. We have an addictive chemistry - unfortunately we're just people whose bodies are unable to consume alcohol like other people. The sooner we accept this lesson, the better off we'll be (you can't move onto the next chapter in your life it you keep re-reading the last one!).

And these is what I always have to remind myself when I start to become willful instead of willing:
29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matt 5:29-30

I see what your are saying, but I never have tried to moderate myself. For now yes I quit, I was thinking for the future, I want to be able to have a beer with my dad or wine with significant other. Even during my drinking times I had plenty of nights when I would go and just have a few drinks in end it. For me it is when I get to a certain level of intox around 6-7 drinks to where I cant stop and bad thing have happend. I would purposly drink to get drunk. I want to and believe I can drink to where I dont get intoxicated and just have a few. I guess I just dont understand why it has to so black and white and that ppl preach that we just cant control it. I am in counseling now and I will take it as it comes it is just something in the back of my mind.

 

[Luna1991]

I see what your are saying, but I never have tried to moderate myself. For now yes I quit, I was thinking for the future, I want to be able to have a beer with my dad or wine with significant other. Even during my drinking times I had plenty of nights when I would go and just have a few drinks in end it. For me it is when I get to a certain level of intox around 6-7 drinks to where I cant stop and bad thing have happend. I would purposly drink to get drunk. I want to and believe I can drink to where I dont get intoxicated and just have a few. I guess I just dont understand why it has to so black and white and that ppl preach that we just cant control it. I am in counseling now and I will take it as it comes it is just something in the back of my mind.

Sorry,I think I'm sometimes too quick to project my own experiences onto other people. It's only because I'm concerned - I just wish someone might have told me the same things earlier on. The pain of fully-blown addiction is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. But you're right, your relationship with alcohol may be one that can be contained and moderated in the long term. But I agree that it would be wise to have an alcohol-free period for the time being. I have heard success stories of control drinkers (but I have heard more stories of failed control drinkers...but that's up to you to judge). Have you attended SMART Recovery meetings before? They tend to have a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach, and do not promote abstinence as the only means of recovery - that decision is at the discretion of the individual. Might be helpful, even just to hear real stories of other controlled and abstinent drinkers?

 

[changewithgrace]

Sorry,I think I'm sometimes too quick to project my own experiences onto other people. It's only because I'm concerned - I just wish someone might have told me the same things earlier on. The pain of fully-blown addiction is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. But you're right, your relationship with alcohol may be one that can be contained and moderated in the long term. But I agree that it would be wise to have an alcohol-free period for the time being. I have heard success stories of control drinkers (but I have heard more stories of failed control drinkers...but that's up to you to judge). Have you attended SMART Recovery meetings before? They tend to have a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach, and do not promote abstinence as the only means of recovery - that decision is at the discretion of the individual. Might be helpful, even just to hear real stories of other controlled and abstinent drinkers?

It is no problem, and i admittley have had my own experiences. You know you are still very young so in the light of all you been through you have a lot of life ahead of you and glad you fought it early on. I am 30 now and just have came to this realization. I am currently in an alcohol program in the military and there is some information on that program as well as a couple others. I will likley look into some of them when I move back to the states here soon. Yes I think that for the time alcohol free is the way to go and in the future if I do decide to drink it will be at a very minimum.

 

[UKChristian]

This thread I have found very interesting as I am in a similar position and can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I don't believe I am physically addicted to alcohol. I have always drunk as I have been unhappy with my life(and still am). I have drunk as a way of mentally dealing with things. While I don't believe I'm an alcoholic, at times, sometimes for pretty long periods, I've drunk like I am. I'm 31, on New Years Day 2012 I made a resolution of having at least 3 days a week where I don't drink. I largely kept to it. Then in May last year my dad died & for a short period I drank quite heavily every day to deal with that. I grew up in the Church Of England and had recently returned when this happened which probably helped me not drink quite as much as I would but still drank a stupid amount. I feel my physical and mental health has been affected through drinking.

HOWEVER... I like beer... I am a member of an organisation called CAMRA(the Campaign For Real Ale) and am known amongst my friends as a bit of a beer anorak. And a bit of a drinker to boot. AA is not for me in my situation but I would NEVER knock it. At the moment I am not completely abstinent but not drinking that much. I have yet to decide if I need to stop completely. I hope I don't to be perfectly honest.

As an Anglican I observe Lent which is coming up. I decided a while back that I'd give up alcohol for Lent and see how that goes... See how I feel at Easter and whether I feel I want to drink again then, stop drinking completely, or have an extended period off the booze.

I wish you all the best in whatever you decide. Some good points have been made on both sides of the argument but I'm a firm believer in the theory that because something works for one person, it doesn't necessarily work for everyone.

 

[Luna1991]

This has just reminded me of a book I have - it's really worth reading.

Called 'Seven Weeks to Sobriety' by Joan MathewsLarson, Ph.D.
Amazon.com: Seven Weeks to Sobriety: The Proven Program to Fight Alcoholism through Nutrition (9780449002599): Joan Mathews Larson: Books

The reason I thought of it here is because it has a questionnaire in chapter 4 that helps you recognise your biotype. (The book is about the nutritional treatment of alcoholism based on biochemical differences in drinkers). The relevance of this questionnaire is it gives you a new insight as to whether you are actually in fact an alcoholic - because the author believes a lot of people are labelled as alcoholics when they are not in fact - their problems with alcohol stem from elsewhere. And those that are true alcoholics are in fact dealing with different underlying *physical* health issues (rather than emotional, as is often said).

The different biotypes are:

1. Nonalcoholic chemistry (normal drinker)
2. Nonalcoholic (Alcoholic-Intolerant) Chemistry
3. Nonalcoholic Hypoglycemic Chemistry (May mistakenly be labelled Alcoholic)
4. II ADH/THIQ Alcoholic Chemistry
5. Allergic/Addicted Alcoholic Chemistry
6. Omega-6 EFA Deficient Chemistry

Personally I fitted into both 5&6 - allergic/addicted & also Omega-6 deficient. I would highly reccommend the book to anyone who has ever had a problem with alcohol, whether or not they believe they are a true alcoholic. I also know that the success rate of this type of treatment is substantially higher than most other forms of treatment (rehab, meetings, etc.) - I think it's about 80% success rate, as compared to about 10-20% success rate. (Not to say there aren't uses for rehab, meetings, etc - especially for the true alcoholics - an optimal recovery would probably include a range of different forms of therapy and treatment).

In short: get your hands on a copy of this book & skip to chapter 4!

 

[ActionJ]

After a couple of arrests and a developed binge drinking/alcohol abuse problem I want to quit. I am wondering if for ever in the future I can allow myslef to drink a little? For me it has always been on the weekends and never effected work or school. But has effected health and money...and legal problems. I would like to be able to have a beer with my dad or friends and have that be it. I want to be alcohol free but controled enough to have one or two on occasion. Is this possible or a bad mindset? I could do this even during my problem days. I guess my drinking started as being purposeful but transformed as to be out of control. I never got addicted but couldnt stop myself once I reached a certain level of intoxication.

I'm a recovered alcoholic. I can only speak for myself. One of the greatest truths I stumbled upon during my recovery was this:

"I can't get drunk if I don't take the first drink."
​

Profound! As simple as that statement is it helped me considerably and still does today.

I was a heavy drinker from my mid-teens to my mid-twenties. I recovered from alcoholism when I stopped drinking and stopped my "stinking-thinking." 15 years later ... I decided that I was ready to drink just 1 beer. 3 years after that I was drinking daily and shooting crystal meth into my veins. I recovered for the second time when I "didn't take that first drink." I've now been sober for 11 years.

Moral of the story?: "one or two drinks" is not an option for me!

May Jesus Christ help you in your battle against John Barleycorn.

 

[artqween]

After a couple of arrests and a developed binge drinking/alcohol abuse problem I want to quit. I am wondering if for ever in the future I can allow myslef to drink a little? For me it has always been on the weekends and never effected work or school. But has effected health and money...and legal problems. I would like to be able to have a beer with my dad or friends and have that be it. I want to be alcohol free but controled enough to have one or two on occasion. Is this possible or a bad mindset? I could do this even during my problem days. I guess my drinking started as being purposeful but transformed as to be out of control. I never got addicted but couldnt stop myself once I reached a certain level of intoxication.

Hi.. Depending on how bad u r in
The addiction. Possibly no.. One
Drink may set u to relapse. Not
To mention the damage u have
Already done to ur body/immune
System/ etc from all that drinking
U did. U may want to seen by a dr.
For liver disease/. Suggestion?
Get on med.s possibly can help
With ur drinking issue. Possibly
Disability, access program/etc..

"God plez help our friend with his
Drinking issue"

Join a church if u havent so far?
They can also help u and ur
Family.