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Featured Is it okay to be a less emotional Christian?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Ashley755, Mar 10, 2019.

  1. Ashley755

    Ashley755 Member

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    Well, this is an internal conflict I've had for a while. I'd like your take on it.

    I'm not much of a "feeler", personality-wise. I like to be logical and straightforward. I enjoy studying theology and apoligetics. I don't tend to cry during worship and my language is quite unemotional as well. I'm just a thinker. I do feel quite profoundly, but I express those emotions towards God in more of a private way and not as much through singing in worship or general outward expression (my Myers-Briggs type is even INTP, if anyone here is familiar with that).

    I guess my dilemma is that I am not a "typical" modern day Christian teenager and I don't find too many Christians I can relate to, so it has made me question whether it is right for me to be this way. What do you guys think?

    Thanks!
     
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  2. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

    +7,628
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    You sound quite normal in your approach to Christian faith to me. I learned that most of my public displays of emotion were just for show to impress the onlookers that I loved God and enjoyed worshiping Him. Then one day God asked me, "Who are you trying to impress?" I discovered that my public displays in Christian meetings were really to impress those around me that I was a good Christian who loved to worship God. I discovered that God didn't care whether I jumped around with joy in my worship, or sat like a wooden Indian, as long as I was worshiping God in my heart and not just for the benefit of those around me.

    But when I am on my own with God, there is no one to impress, so I can whoop it up as much as I like when the occasion warrants. He enjoys that because He knows it comes from my heart and it is not just for outward show.

    I think you should just do what comes naturally to you, Just because others are jumping around getting all emotional, doesn't mean that you have to if you don't feel that way in your heart. There is nothing wrong with sitting quietly soaking up the presence of God and enjoying it in your own way.

    Just like my puddy cat whose picture up up on the left. He sits on my knee and quietly purrs as I give him all the attention He wants. He just soaks it up and I can see by his face that he enjoys every bit of it. Just sitting there, thinking about the goodness of God to you, and quietly enjoying your fellowship with Him is all the worship you need for Him to take great pleasure in you.
     
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  3. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Everything began with a voice, use yours Supporter

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    It's fine, God created you that way, why would it be a problem?

    I like bible study too, I find a lot of church goers like talking about scripture from time to time, but tend to steer clear if someone is too interested in that. Not sure what that's about. But it's important to take notice that God always loves you, even if His children are a little worldly.
     
  4. PloverWing

    PloverWing Episcopalian

    +2,201
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    INTJ here. You're fine. There are lots of human personalities, and lots of ways for our different personalities to worship God. Emotional experiences are one way to worship, but others ways include: studying theology; meditating on a passage of Scripture; sitting quietly in God's presence; doing some specific act of service, like feeding a homeless family; reading or reciting a well-crafted prayer; and many others. INTPs are rarer in the population than the extroverted-feeling temperaments, so it's easy to feel isolated in a church group, but God made all of us and loves us, in all our variety.
     
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  5. CodyFaith

    CodyFaith Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I think it's important to remember that the Body of Christ is made up of all sorts of different parts. Not everyone is a feeler, not everyone has the gifts of a high amount of empathy/compassion, and in the same way not everyone has a logical approach to the faith.

    We're all different. So you have your own unique individual gifts to share with the Church and others and your own potential to fulfill.

    I also want to say that I think it's better to be more on the side of logic/wisdom then over-emotional. Emotions come and go, are hard to discern sometimes, etc. whereas Solomon said in Ecclesiastes that wisdom is a defence. He said in Proverbs to make wisdom your sister.

    Hope this helps.
     
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  6. usexpat97

    usexpat97 kewlness

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    It's a bummer that the more cerebral types are underappreciated for the part of the body that they are.
     
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  7. Justasurvivor

    Justasurvivor Member

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    then take note when you do cry you know it's genuine and real and I think the lord would rather see real tears than fake ones so I think your doing fine and the lord does enjoy alone time with you
     
  8. THE W

    THE W AFRIKANB0T

    +2,499
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    the LORD doesn't require you to be emotional. He requires you to be obedient.
     
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  9. bekkilyn

    bekkilyn Contemplative Christian Supporter

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    Many of the greatest Christian theologians were cerebral and valued the intellect God gives us, which seems not so much the case in current times. I am an INTJ and a female, so I end up getting a double-whammy of people finding me to be odd. But if God wanted me to be different, he would have created me differently and we all can't be wishy-washy, touchy-feely types now can we? :)
     
  10. Searching_for_God

    Searching_for_God Wannabe Catholic Supporter

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    Well, I mean... I guess I might be a bit of a "feeler" myself, but I also consider myself to be more on the logical side too. I can't simply manipulate myself into feeling better like some other people can, but instead have to find comfort in hard facts and such. I sometimes tear up a little bit during worship, but I don't start sobbing or doing anything drastic. I do sing hymns at church with everyone else, and enjoy doing so. But yeah... sorry, I think I'm derailing the conversation a little bit here.

    Getting back on track, I think it's 100% okay to be a less emotional Christian. Everyone experiences their faith differently, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure that there are certainly others out there who are in the same position, so don't worry. You're okay. :)
     
  11. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

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    Well you just related to me. But I'm 41. lol..... so you still don't relate to a Christian Teenager.:angel:

    I am fairly similar to you, in that I don't cry, and I usually have a fairly bland plastered on smile. On a good day, I just smile. On a bad day, I just smile. On a boring day, I smile.

    In the past I've had people ask me to do something, and I'll always say "I'll think about it", because I rarely make a snap judgement about anything.

    Then I'll get this "Oh wow, so you'll come? I thought you were completely uninterested in coming from how you answered".

    I guess I'm supposed to jump up and down, and flail my arms around in rapturous excitement, whenever I'm asked to join someone. :clap:

    giphy.gif

    Well... that's not happening.

    The answer is...... yes. It is ok for you to be you. There is nothing wrong with you at all. In fact, I prefer the type of woman that you are. So don't try and act crazy like you need to gush tears all over the place, and bounce around like you had some cocaine before Church.

    Do try and sing a little. You don't have to be heard on the other side of the Chapel, but sing along with everyone. Even if it's quiet, sing a little. I think it is good for people to sing. Of course that could be just me growing up in a Church where everyone sang, even if they couldn't. We had these people in their 70s, and they wouldn't belt it out, but even in their old weak voice, they sang along with the songs.

    So I think it's a good thing to sing, even if quietly in your own way.

    But otherwise... as the pagans say... You do You. Just worship in your own way, and don't worry about not flailing about like your teenage friends.

    Easy enough daughter? :)
     
  12. topher694

    topher694 Go Turtle!

    +974
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    You're not alone in this. I am the senior pastor of a church AND a software engineer (it doesn't get much more logical thinking than that). I can relate exactly to what you are saying AND as a pastor I have talked to many folks just like you. Don't stress it. The two are not mutually exclusive. Pursue God and be you!
     
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  13. mourningdove~

    mourningdove~ "Trust in the LORD with all your heart"

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    Hi Ashley,
    You are the way God made you to be ... some of us are just more 'emotional' than others.

    It is 'right', that you be the person God made you to be! :)

    *God has a purpose and a plan for your life ...
    Your temperament is part of how He has 'wired' you, to accomplish His plans for your life.*

    It can sometimes take more time to make personal connections when one is more introverted than extroverted, but God knew what He was doing when He created you. Be genuine, be authentically 'you', and you will attract others who 'like' and appreciate you, for 'who' you are! (And I've found, those are the best kind of friends to have! :oldthumbsup: )

    God bless!


     
  14. Phoebe Ann

    Phoebe Ann From Mormonism to Christ Supporter

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    You sound good to me! :oldthumbsup:
     
  15. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

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    The degree of emotion you put into loving neighbour as self instead of just self, determines your involvement.
     
  16. ilovejcsog

    ilovejcsog I am a Christian mutt. You can call me Rox

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    Why not? It takes all kinds.:)
     
  17. Halbhh

    Halbhh Everything You say is Life to me Supporter

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    Hi friend. I remember doing the type test a couple of times, and mine is INFP, and I had an INTP I got to know, and there is a real difference between our 2 types, but from what you say, you may be perfectly just as you should be, as according to your innate temperament....and in your own way you too also should keep Christ's commands as we must as followers of Christ to "love one another", and the how-to-do-that-the-right-way is: "In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you" (Matthew 7:12).

    So just do that.

    I was curious to try to remember INTP traits, and found this list below. If you are like this, it's fine. It's if you don't love others at all that would be bad, not that you have to love them just the same way I or someone else does. You are to love them your way (and of course we are to meet needs of our fellow believers near us when they are pressing physical needs like food and other needs as Christ listed in Matthew chapter 25)

    So here's stuff about the INTP that is just fine, perfect even:

    Are You an INTP? Find out More About the Personality Type

    • INTPs are quiet, reserved, and thoughtful. As introverts, they prefer to socialize with a small group of close friends with whom they share common interests and connections.
    • They enjoy thinking about theoretical concepts and tend to value intellect over emotion. INTPs are logical and base decisions on objective information rather than subjective feelings.
    • When analyzing data and making decisions, they are highly logical and objective.
    • Tends to be flexible and good at thinking "outside of the box."
    • People with this personality type think about the big picture rather than focusing on every tiny detail.
    • INTPs like to keep their options open and feel limited by structure and planning
    Strengths
    • Logical and objective

    • Abstract thinker

    • Independent

    • Loyal and affectionate with loved ones
    Weaknesses
    • Difficult to get to know

    • Can be insensitive

    • Prone to self-doubt

    • Struggles to follow rules

    • Has trouble expressing feelings
     
  18. The Righterzpen

    The Righterzpen Jesus is my Shield in any Desert or Storm

    +829
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    Hey, I'm not "emotional" even when talking about "emotional" topics and that tends to "throw" a lot of people too.

    I'm 48 years old; been "around the block" a few times and a LOT has happened in my life. I've been a Christian for 31 years and been in recovery for maybe 35 years. I often half joke that I grew up on the kind of family psychiatrists read about in their text books. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic, sexual abuse survivor, a war veteran, am disabled from a catastrophic car accident, I have a developmentally disabled child with chronic medical problems and my husband committed suicide. I've struggled with depression and PTSD most of my life and have been suicidal myself on a few occasions.

    So, if you're "the other end of the spectrum" and the subject matter in your life is "too heavy" people don't want to talk to you either. And the odd thing about all of this is - people can't figure out why I'm "OK with my life". I'm at peace. I don't complain; but I will tell you what I've learned form my life challenges.

    I'm a "research nerd". I do a lot of studying. My favorite subjects are the Bible, history, archeology and science. I've accumulated a lot of (probably useless) knowledge on a variety of subjects and the volume of information I can pull out of my brain is intimidating to a lot of people. (One of the cursed blessing I have is I don't forget anything! I don't always keep all the facts strait - but I don't forget them (for better or worse, I don't forget them - LOL).

    So I'm the kind of person that people tend to either "love" me, or they "hate" me. I'm not particularly "mousy". I will speak up. And my personality developed that way as a survival mechanism. I've also developed a certain art of "the argument". I'd be great on a debate team! LOL. And as an advocate for my son; I'm proud to say I've been a consistent thorn in the flesh of my local school district. (But i have been fair to them!)

    So, no matter how you "slice the cake"; "haters gonna hate", "no matter what you do someone is going to be unhappy", and honestly, most people are too self absorbed to notice.

    All that being said; it is hard though when you want to have a friend and be a friend. I've been burned pretty badly a few times. And we'd hope the "body of Christ" would love us; but reality of the fact is, we live in a time when there's a lot of hypocrisy and a lot of heresy around. I chalk that all up as "state of the end times".

    Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me. These things I havespoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:32-33
     
  19. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

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    It is one of the great modern errors of thinking among Christians that emotionality is synonymous with spirituality. Tears do not a righteous, holy and wise person make. Your walk with God may touch your emotions, but regular high emotion is not integral to deep fellowship with Him. In fact, always pursuing a strong emotional moment with God is, in my opinion, indicative of a carnal, sensual, superficial faith that ultimately warps and diminishes one's life as a believer.
     
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  20. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

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    Like love. Sometimes people are more emotionally involved with the idea of it than actually living it.
     
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