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Is it my fault..?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by pastellee, Jul 16, 2018.

  1. pastellee

    pastellee New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 6, 2018
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  2. Valetic

    Valetic Addicted to CF Supporter

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    We don't always see what the devil's kingdom is up to, but we can certainly see the aftermath of it. You did nothing wrong in this one as far as I'm concerned. Don't blame yourself, you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm sure God does not hold you accountable for anything you were ignorant of.
     
  3. Take Heart

    Take Heart Be encouraged ♥ Supporter

    +1,223
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    Regardless of your actions, he sounds like a creep. Honestly, I'm glad God closed that door as he obviously isn't the one you were meant to be with. I know you're hurting right now, but I'm glad you decided to find out for yourself. You saved yourself a lot of further heartache if you were to still be together. You are worth more than what he's put you through. He's not even worth a second thought. Boy bye.
     
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  4. redleghunter

    redleghunter Abide Boldy my friend Supporter

    +25,133
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    Sounds like if you ever have a serious relationship with this man he would end up being unfaithful.

    Recommend going to church and meeting people your age there.
     
  5. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

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    After all the games and confusion, it's understandable that you wanted to know the truth. Each person is responsible for their own actions. She for hers, he for his. And I think you need to guard your heart better and make sure the guy you spend time with is serious about you and respect proper boundaries. Prove him, step by step. That way you won't get so deeply entangled in messy relationships.
     
  6. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

    +5,408
    New Zealand
    Pentecostal
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    It may be good for you to consider the difference between actual guilt before God and psychological guilt. If you have received Christ, then your actual and real moral guilt has been removed through the finished work of Christ on the cross and through His resurrection.

    But we can have psychological guilt feelings because we have a sense of our shortcomings and failures. It is the religious perfectionist who suffers from this the most. He or she wants to be able to live a perfectly holy life, and has serious guilt feelings because they cannot achieve what they are desiring. But are these guilt feelings an indication that we are actually guilty before God. I think not, otherwise the death of Christ on the cross and His resurrection would mean basically nothing.
     
  7. pastellee

    pastellee New Member

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    Korea, Democratic Peoples Republic Of
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    Single
    ~
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2018
  8. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

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    I would walk away. You have given him fair warning, that is the extent of your responsibility at this point, considering what he's done. Now shake the dust off and walk away, and focus on your own walk with the Lord. And be careful about getting entangled again.
     
  9. pastellee

    pastellee New Member

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    Korea, Democratic Peoples Republic Of
    Christian
    Single
    ~
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2018
  10. Holoman

    Holoman Credo

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    He's a grown man not a puppet. He's responsible for his own actions and you did nothing wrong. I don't think you need to warn him any further if you've already said it. I think it would be best to just cut him out of your life.
     
  11. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

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    I'm not there to judge intimately, but from what I've gleaned here you've already given some kind of warning. And he seems to have rejected you and your considerations? It may be that you would just be going in for worse punishment.

    My impression here, FWIW, is that you are overthinking this and taking too much on yourself. There is a point where he will answer for his own choices, and nothing anyone contributed can change that. Where that line is each of us needs to determine for ourselves. But for me, I would admit where I went wrong and possibly express regret about that, and then, considering the choices he's since made, walk away. IOW, take responsibility for your part, and leave the rest to him, where it belongs. I've done that a few times, and it works. Get yourself out of the way and give him the freedom to make his own choices, even if you don't agree with them.

    Abide in prayer about it, and try to get a sense of peace on the way you should go. There is a point where you have done enough. Find that place, and then "having done all, stand" (eph 6).
     
  12. JCFantasy23

    JCFantasy23 In a Kingdom by the Sea. Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador Angels Team

    +5,145
    United States
    Methodist
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    I don't think you did anything wrong. The guy sounds like he doesn't mind playing the field a bit and isn't fully honest. It is not your fault that they cheated. Sometimes when people find something out, they do the wrong thing with it, but the person providing that knowledge isn't at fault for that.

    I bet the situation definitely is hurtful, but you are better off not involved.
     
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