Is It Considered a Sin to Look a Man in the Eyes?

[Shishiru]

I am a very shy and quiet person. Talking to new people makes me extremely anxious and I have to be careful not to come across as rude. So, I tend to look people in the eye to make sure they know that I'm listening. However, when I'm in church and a man is giving a lesson or greets me in passing I have difficultly concentrating. I never want to inappropriately behave or come across as seducing anyone.

Is it appropriate to look a man in the eyes as a woman? Am I causing my brothers in Christ to sin if I make eye contact?

I think you are most likely to shy off when looking at someone if you are interested in them.

 

[brandynicole]

I think you are most likely to shy off when looking at someone if you are interested in them.

If you knew the evil of my past, then you would be shocked to know that I am shy now. God has cursed my life for the sin I have done. I need to avoid contact with others so that God can be pleased with me.

 

[Neogaia777]

I think you are most likely to shy off when looking at someone if you are interested in them.

Or you are extremely repulsed by them, or you sense evil, cause you know evil, etc... Again, you are one of those who thinks you know, but you just "don't", etc, no not at all, etc...

It is multifaceted and there are many other factors, none of which have to do with "attraction" or interest, etc... Quite the opposite sometimes actually...

Again, you think you know, but you just "don't"... Oh how blessed you must be to have such a simple mind...

You don't know, none of you do....

Except maybe @brandynicole, she just might maybe...

Our cross to bear I guess hey @brandynicole ?

Your just shy, right...?

Well, there is a lot more to it than just that, a lot more to it, so keep your assumptions to yourself until you know, OK...

God Bless!

 

[Strong in Him]

If you knew the evil of my past, then you would be shocked to know that I am shy now. God has cursed my life for the sin I have done.

No, God sent Jesus to take the punishment for your sin. If you say you are truly sorry and believe in Jesus, he will forgive you.
Luke tells us of an immoral woman who gatecrashed a meal that Jesus was at. She took a jar of perfume, poured it onto his feet ad dried them with her hair. The others sitting at the table we shocked that a woman with such a reputation would dare to approach Jesus, and that Jesus let her. but Jesus said that she was showing her love because her many sins had been forgiven. He then told her to go in peace, Luke 7:36-50.
On another occasion a woman who had been caught in the act of committing adultery was taken to Jesus. The law demanded that she be stoned to death, and her accusers wanted Jesus to agree. Jesus said that the person who had never sinned should throw the first stone - the accusers all went away and Jesus said that he did not condemn her, John 8:1-11. He told her to give up her sinful life, but did not condemn her, and said she was free to go.

I need to avoid contact with others so that God can be pleased with me.

If that's what you feel that you need to do for your own sake, so be it. But that won't make God pleased with you.
He already loves you so much that he sent Jesus to die for you. You are made in his image and he wants you to know that Jesus died so that you could be reconciled to him and become his child. His will is that you accept Jesus, John 6:40. If you have already done this and know him, rejoice that you have been forgiven - then go out and live the life that he wants you to live. That may be as a single woman, it may not. But trying to avoid men, and to avoid even looking at them because you believe that that will somehow atone for your past and please God, is not correct.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

If you knew the evil of my past, then you would be shocked to know that I am shy now. God has cursed my life for the sin I have done. I need to avoid contact with others so that God can be pleased with me.

I *must* disagree with this.

God is pleased with you already. You are His child and He loves you. Whatever your sin was in the past, you have repented and called on Him, and you have taken on a new life. There is nothing more you need to do to make Him pleased with you. In fact, even while we were still sinners, Christ loved us and died for us.

Whatever sin is a part of your past, please know it is no more wicked than my sin or anyone else's. We are all sinners in need of a Savior. Jesus Christ paid that penalty. You are no more on the hook for your past evils than anyone else is for theirs. True, you want to take precautions to keep from going down that path again. For example, an alcoholic who gets sober may still want to avoid the liquor aisle at the grocery store. It's good to stay away from the edge of the cliff, instead of seeing how close you can come to it before you fall off.

But please, put aside the self-condemnation. You are a new person in Christ. You have no more guilt.

I know. Sometimes I forget that too.

 

[Junia]

I am a very shy and quiet person. Talking to new people makes me extremely anxious and I have to be careful not to come across as rude. So, I tend to look people in the eye to make sure they know that I'm listening. However, when I'm in church and a man is giving a lesson or greets me in passing I have difficultly concentrating. I never want to inappropriately behave or come across as seducing anyone.

Is it appropriate to look a man in the eyes as a woman? Am I causing my brothers in Christ to sin if I make eye contact?

men and women are now one in Christ. you should not flirt with men or try to seduce them but eye contact isn't doing that.

 

[Junia]

I *must* disagree with this.

God is pleased with you already. You are His child and He loves you. Whatever your sin was in the past, you have repented and called on Him, and you have taken on a new life. There is nothing more you need to do to make Him pleased with you. In fact, even while we were still sinners, Christ loved us and died for us.

Whatever sin is a part of your past, please know it is no more wicked than my sin or anyone else's. We are all sinners in need of a Savior. Jesus Christ paid that penalty. You are no more on the hook for your past evils than anyone else is for theirs. True, you want to take precautions to keep from going down that path again. For example, an alcoholic who gets sober may still want to avoid the liquor aisle at the grocery store. It's good to stay away from the edge of the cliff, instead of seeing how close you can come to it before you fall off.

But please, put aside the self-condemnation. You are a new person in Christ. You have no more guilt.

I know. Sometimes I forget that too.

1 John 1: 9 says if we have confessed our sins to God he has forgiven them. i struggle with condemnation myself. it seems like youa re struggling with shame rather than shyness, as if you were shy, you would have been that way before. Jesus forgives you and wants to set you free,

your OP touched my heart. sending you (((hugs)))

 

[CaspianSails]

I am a very shy and quiet person. Talking to new people makes me extremely anxious and I have to be careful not to come across as rude. So, I tend to look people in the eye to make sure they know that I'm listening. However, when I'm in church and a man is giving a lesson or greets me in passing I have difficultly concentrating. I never want to inappropriately behave or come across as seducing anyone.

Is it appropriate to look a man in the eyes as a woman? Am I causing my brothers in Christ to sin if I make eye contact?

I think you are overly concerned. If you dress modestly and you are not out to seduce anyone, I believe you are fine. I frankly have no issue with a man or women looking me in the eyes. It does not impact me at all. To tell the truth I prefer people who can make and hold eye contact when they are speaking to me. One can discern many things when speaking that way. But in terms of being tempted, never, in my whole life. I have only truly loved one woman and have never strayed or been tempted to stray. A man is just as responsible for himself in this regard and more so in my opinion than the actions of anyone else.

 

[yellowMan]

I could not find any scriptures on this topic apart from 2 pet 2:14 which was talking about a specific people group in history. I definitely understand where you are coming from though because I am a ahem handsome man(sorry just no way else to say it) and I'm married. I also avoid prolonged eye contact with women as I don't want to give them false hope. I assume you have experienced the same situations which is why you are asking the question. Unfortunately brief eye contact can also be considered to be flirtacious behavior as well so it really is a lose-lose situation for us beautiful people )). Also some people just naturally present what others would assume to be "bedroom eyes" when in fact that is just how their face is made. So there really is no winning on this topic Just try not to overthink it is my advice. And don't stare at someone of the opposite sex too long unless it is your spouse

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

I am a very shy and quiet person. Talking to new people makes me extremely anxious and I have to be careful not to come across as rude. So, I tend to look people in the eye to make sure they know that I'm listening. However, when I'm in church and a man is giving a lesson or greets me in passing I have difficultly concentrating. I never want to inappropriately behave or come across as seducing anyone.

Is it appropriate to look a man in the eyes as a woman? Am I causing my brothers in Christ to sin if I make eye contact?

Hello sister, I am struggling too.
I look men in the eyes too.
We all do.
Are you looking at them in focus, and to hear what they are saying in goodness?
Or to give them a bad seductive look?
I know the fear of doing #2. It’s paralyzing.
Keep your eyes on Jesus. Do everything for the Glorification of God. And please- let your inner beauty dress your outer. You are responsible if your brother stumbles but at the same time you aren’t.
If you dress in a way to purposely seduce others it’s a sin.
But if it’s generally modest and one person out of 100 are struggling and fall into sin, that is between them in God.
Of course we should never ever make a brother or even a sister stumble.
For more info

 

[shineyourlight]

Making eye contact is part of communication. You might be treading a bit too carefully. Or you might be shy. Or you might just feel uncomfortable around the opposite sex in general.

Honestly, it can be a range of things.

Examine your heart. Ask yourself what are you feeling when you break eye contact. If you're making eye contact to "seduce" or "behave inappropriately", then yeah, that can be an issue. But I highly doubt that is what you are doing. I really think it may just be a habit out of nervousness.

 

[shineyourlight]

Girl, you got this <3 You are absolutely fine I'm praying for you!

 

[ViaCrucis]

I am a very shy and quiet person. Talking to new people makes me extremely anxious and I have to be careful not to come across as rude. So, I tend to look people in the eye to make sure they know that I'm listening. However, when I'm in church and a man is giving a lesson or greets me in passing I have difficultly concentrating. I never want to inappropriately behave or come across as seducing anyone.

Is it appropriate to look a man in the eyes as a woman? Am I causing my brothers in Christ to sin if I make eye contact?

Did someone suggest to you that you, as a woman, are somehow inferior to men? You are an equal, you have the same rights, recognition, dignity as any man. You have the right to voice yourself, the right to stand up for yourself, the right to be treated as an equal.

If you have had people tell you otherwise, leave their words and ways behind, they are liars.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[yellowandblue12387]

I am a very shy and quiet person. Talking to new people makes me extremely anxious and I have to be careful not to come across as rude. So, I tend to look people in the eye to make sure they know that I'm listening. However, when I'm in church and a man is giving a lesson or greets me in passing I have difficultly concentrating. I never want to inappropriately behave or come across as seducing anyone.

Is it appropriate to look a man in the eyes as a woman? Am I causing my brothers in Christ to sin if I make eye contact?

I am a very shy and quiet person. Talking to new people makes me extremely anxious and I have to be careful not to come across as rude. So, I tend to look people in the eye to make sure they know that I'm listening. However, when I'm in church and a man is giving a lesson or greets me in passing I have difficultly concentrating. I never want to inappropriately behave or come across as seducing anyone.

Is it appropriate to look a man in the eyes as a woman? Am I causing my brothers in Christ to sin if I make eye contact?

Uh depends. But in simplicity and general guidelines. Making eye contact is normal when communicating with others. If you're attractive physically, men in general will just naturally gravitate towards you no matter what you do. Just make sure you use some reasonable judgement with your clothing (ie. an obvious example where wearing a bare naked bikini, and some man lusts after you when they see you in that, that's your fault and also his fault), and just use common sense and be normal in your behavior with other people. Then you have nothing to worry about.

Now if a godly young stud starts to put his forward in getting to know you, and you're attracted to him, don't be scared to reciprocate and get to know him as he initiates. That's normal and a lovely thing.

 

[Neogaia777]

Has anyone ever had the problem with feeling that others were trying to "manipulate your gaze" at all ever, etc...?

And sometimes inappropriately, or very inappropriately, ever, etc...?

Cause I have struggled with this sometimes, and still don't know down to this very day if other people around me or who interacted with me were ever really doing this, or doing this on purpose, or if it was just me, etc...? But it has caused me to panic a bit sometimes, and not know where to put my eyes, or direct my gaze sometimes, etc... Makes a lot of interactions very uncomfortable for me sometimes, etc...

Anyone else ever have any kinds of problems like this ever...?

Or does anyone know if other people really do do this sometimes or not, etc...?

And if they do, how can you tell, etc...?

Tell the difference between normal interactions where this is actually not happening, or ones where they are, or were, etc...?

How can you tell...? and has anyone else ever experienced this ever, etc...?

Much thanks,

God Bless!