Is it christian to do this

[Goodbook]

be a surrogate mother, sell your eggs or donate sperm?

On one hand, it could be selfless, you want another person to be a parent.
But on the other hand it could be really selfish. Maybe you doing it for other reasons. Or the wannabe parents are selfish.

But maybe they could be christians. Could they? Do infertile couples who are christians do this or would they be more likely to adopt.

Am just wondering as, it seems older or infertile couples seem willing to go through the expense of IVF and have test tube babies these days. Is it ok for christians to consider having a test tube baby?

 

[Leevo]

I think that it is probably best avoided. People who are meant to have children, will have them naturally. Donating sperm is probably the least acceptable of all of these due to the actions required to get it. I.e. masturbation and 9.99/10 times, inappropriate content.

 

[EastCoastRemnant]

We know a Christian couple who is desperate to have kids but cannot... they have prayed about it and feel they have been lead to do expensive in vitro fertilization. They have had a couple of false starts and even a confirmed pregnancy but lost it...

My wife and I feel this is not God lead as they are becoming emotionally torn and confused. We just don't have the heart to tell them this (we are not close to this couple but we see them from time to time). I believe the Bible gives us the answer for these situations... wait on the Lord and accept His outcome. If God can have barren old woman have children, then we need to be faithful and obedient to God's will and not to our own desires.

 

[Ken Behrens]

Is a child who he is because of environment or heredity? I mean, if the child is raised with YOUR DNA, but in someone else's home, will he be able to receive what God wants him to have to prepare him for God's plan for his life? God seemed to think it was pretty important for Ishmael vs. Isaac.

And this is a way easier question than if you are cloned, will the clone have a soul, and what kind will it be?

 

[Goodbook]

think of the toll it would have on your body also knowing someone else is raisng your child who has half your DNA but you have no say.

I just find it weird would people do it? Or why? In some cases it seems money is involved esp if the parent donors arent related or even known to the other parents.

Its not like Mary and Josephs surprise they are having Gods' only begotten son.

I think poor Hagar that sarah though it a good idea at the time but then they got banished. Is this a legitimate way to have children or is it illegitmate and the children are technically bastards.

 

[Paidiske]

I looked into being an egg donor a while back. In Australia you're not allowed to be paid for donating eggs, so it would have been an altruistic donation. (I didn't go ahead because I didn't meet the medical criteria).

I couldn't see anything sinful in being willing to donate in that way. The decisions about how to respond to infertility for a couple are more complex, and I suspect the right answers are not one-size-fits-all.

Oh, and I think calling any child a "bastard" is an incredibly cruel thing to do.

 

[Goodbook]

Well thats the name for illegitmate children. Its like calling a prostitute a harlot I suppose. Not actually meant to be cruel just a name for it.

 

[Goodbook]

Why would you donate your eggs paidsike. What is the reason for it, was it cos someone you know wanted them. Or was it anonymous. I dont really get why people would plus it would be incredibly invasive procedure.

 

[Goodbook]

Or is just like you would donate your organs. But usually thats if you die in an accident or something.

 

[Goodbook]

I think while Hagar wasnt sinful in being willing to donate or be a surrogate she WAS a slave and did what she was told, i think it was Sarah who was sinful in asking her...and didnt forsee the consequences of her bright idea. Which in turn hurt Hagar and Ishmael, and threatened Isaac.

 

[Goodbook]

Onan also was sinful in not wiling to marry his widowed brothers wife and instead just donate sperm...on the ground.

Seems to me its unnatural and going against Gods plan.

I am seeing more and more testtube children and often they have gender issues.

 

[Goodbook]

Leah too, Jacobs wife was basically used as a surrogate wife. How must she have felt, when Jacob favoured rachel and her children over Leah's

 

[Paidiske]

Why would you donate your eggs paidsike. What is the reason for it, was it cos someone you know wanted them. Or was it anonymous. I dont really get why people would plus it would be incredibly invasive procedure.

I'm very active on another forum, one which is focussed on parenting. And from time to time people post there looking for potential egg donors. I hadn't given it any thought before I saw those posts, but then I did some research and discovered that where I am, the wait for egg donors is so long that the clinics have closed their waiting lists altogether, and for some couples, there is simply no way forward if they want a child. (Setting aside the question of adoption, which is not easy here either).

And so I thought about it, and thought, why not? I'm a registered organ donor. I'm not precious about sharing my DNA or tissues or whatever (I can't donate blood because I had glandular fever, but otherwise I'd be willing to). It did sound medically complex - I'm not sure I thought of it as invasive - but it sounded manageable.

But the restrictions on who may donate are incredibly tight, and I didn't meet the criteria, so that was that.

I think gamete donation and surrogacy are different to the Biblical polygamous situations. In the former case you're not talking about expanded marriage and family relationships.

 

[Goodbook]

Oh ok.
Why are they on a parenting forum if they not parents. Uh...

Cant they just be aunties and uncles. You still have children and they are family. You dont have to give birth to them, its called being godparents.

 

[Goodbook]

My guess on the restrictions is you cant be anything less than perfect which rules out 99.9% of donors anyway. Lol.

 

[Paidiske]

I was on the parenting forum for several years before I was a parent. Call it preparation...

Actually, we have lots of long-term members who are active and not parents. I guess it's not unlike our non-Christian members here. They're interested in the discussion and they have something valuable to contribute.

I myself never felt that deep unresolved yearning to be a parent, so I can't try to explain it to anyone else. But for some people it does seem to be a very difficult thing to be unable to have children.

 

[Paidiske]

The problem with the restrictions is that they want donors younger than a certain age, who want no more children of their own. But I would guess that very few of us are done with our child-bearing by that age, so it restricts the number of donors enormously.

I mean, I'm sure there are reasons; younger women probably respond better and give better outcomes, but it does make it more difficult to find donors.

 

[Goodbook]

Well actually Hagar was in no way related to sarah and abraham. She was their egytpian slave.

 

[Goodbook]

The problem with the restrictions is that they want donors younger than a certain age, who want no more children of their own. But I would guess that very few of us are done with our child-bearing by that age, so it restricts the number of donors enormously.

I mean, I'm sure there are reasons; younger women probably respond better and give better outcomes, but it does make it more difficult to find donors.

Maybe they are after someone who started havning children when they were like 15 and then got too tired to look after them all. So like heres afew extra you can have mine.

 

[Goodbook]

I read a few books written by females (never males) who were having fertility issues. Didnt seem to have naything to do with the men and their husbands were like, its not a big deal, stop making it into one. But for these females, it was HUGE.

One did all these tests and went to all these clinics spending a fortune, she finally got pregnant (seems like she had to swim in the tropics or something) while another just had to come to terms with it and focus her energy on something else, like writing.

Another one looked into freezing her egss cos she didnt even have a bf or intended yet. She was afraid she was getting too old.

But it seems none of these women actually cared about caring for children that werent their own either. They were maybe just jealous, but i didnt seem like they were doing any active parenting eg teaching children or work in orphanages or foster or nanny or anything.