Is it becoming more common for Grandparents to spoil their Grandchildren with gifts?

[carebear1]

My parents does this with my brother's children. The oldest is 2. She is constantly showering them with gifts. Even on the holidays like Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day etc. and their birthdays. Then I overhear my mom complain about money. My sister-in-law has complained to me about my parents' too many gifts giving. I think my brother may of complained to my mom about it then she got upset so they just allow my parents do what they want when it comes to giving gifts.

Nowadays, most Grandparents have less Grandchildren than years past. So, I can see it happening and becoming a common occurrence that they are overindulging them with gifts. If they can afford it, then more power to them.

My worry is I don't want my niece and nephew growing up to be ungrateful, spoiled brats with a sense of entitlement. This is especially true if one of my parents die and less money will be available to spend on them. My dad is a bit older than my mom so I can see that happening.

My parents, especially my mom completely revolves her life around the grandchildren and my brother along with the wife. They don't really have outside hobbies or friends separate from them. It doesn't seem a big deal right now because the kids are still very young and both parents are still alive.

 

[HereIStand]

It's probably a common thing. The only danger I see is if the grandparents are giving gifts that the parents really can't afford. This might embarrass the parents.

 

[Basil the Great]

I believe that it is very common.

 

[GeorgeJ]

We spoil the crap outta ours........that's what grandparents are for.......

 

[Tolworth John]

My parents, especially my mom completely revolves her life around the grandchildren and my brother along with the wife. They don't really have outside hobbies or friends separate from them. It doesn't seem a big deal right now because the kids are still very young and both parents are still alive

How easy is it for your parents to visit their grandchildren?
Is there anything where they live that is attractive to children?
Yes children are mercenary and will judge relatives by what 'loot' they get, but they can also see beyond what they get. If there is nothing to attract them to visit someone then they won't want to go and won't perform for that person.

I suspect your parents are trying to buy affection. This is difficult to challenge and even more difficult to change, as the children aren't yours.

May I suggest talking to your parents about. What will they do if the other dies? How will they cope? Who is there that they can socialise with?

One answer to these questions is church involvement.

 

[JAM2b]

I have never known grandparents who did not. My grandfather used to give a dollar to every kid who showed up at birthday parties because, "they all need a gift."

Also when they are little kids, the gift and clothes and treats can be relatively inexpensive. It's easier to afford a lot. When they are 15 and want expensive stuff, then it might slow down unless the grandparents are wealthy.

 

[Dave-W]

Becoming more common? No.

It has ALWAYS been common.

 

[Poppyseed78]

Yes, I think this has always been a "thing" lol. I also noticed grandparents are much more indulgent and less strict with their grandchildren than they were with their own children, probably because they aren't the ones responsible for raising them 24/7.

 

[Odetta]

It's part and parcel of being a grandparent, from what I've experienced. My FIL especially. It makes for lots of teaching moments with the kids on the subjects of entitlement, greed, generosity, gratefulness, appreciation, and the like. That's not necessarily a bad thing.