Is God telling me I'm going to die?

[Jess528]

I've been in a dark place the past couple of months and I've been praying so hard for Jesus to reveal himself to me, to feel his presence so I know that He is there and will see me through this. I feel He has been silent. I pray hard to be healed or for something not to happen and it happens anyway.

So I'm praying last night for some sign or revelation and I get a thought that I should read the days entry for this book I have Grace for the Moment by Max Lucado which has scripture and insight for each day of the year. Well I turn to the entry for yesterday and it's basically about death being God's grace and God taking people away before the "evil days ahead." Of course this doesn't comfort me AT ALL and I start to worry.

So I ask again for some sign or comfort and decide to randomly open the Bible to some page and see what is written there (I've done that before when lost and needing a sign and I have turned to a scripture that does seem to speak to exactly what I'm going through and therefore comforts me.) Well when I randomly opened the Bible to a page, and read it the only heading for that page was "Death Comes to All." Now I'm freaking out and my OCD is telling me that God is trying to tell me that I'm going to die or someone close to me is going to die. What is going on? Is this really God? Why would He make me feel worse when I already feel so scared?

All I want is to feel his presence and know He is there and see me through to better days ahead. But all I feel like is that He is telling me there are no better days ahead for me in this world, only the next and that I'm going to die soon. That or that He is trying to prepare me for someone I love that is going to die soon. I'm so scared.

 

[kaykay9.0]

No, I don't think this is of God. This is the danger when we just open a book or even the Bible at random and believe there is a message for us. Im not saying that never happens, but you are really running a risk of being deceived when you do this and just accept the result without discerment. I think this is what happened here.

 

[Jess528]

Thank you, Kay. What you say makes sense and it has eased the fear a little bit. I cannot DEMAND of God to give me a message or sign. I just was really desperate. I feel so alone, and I think if I was able to feel his presence in my life it would make it easier or something. I read of so many others experiences of revelation and feeling God's presence and I don't think I've ever had that and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Do you go to a good church Jess? I think that would help you.. God loves you and you need to be around those who love Him...people you can talk to about these things.

How you can know if it is from God:

"For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control." (2 Timothy 1:7)

^^^The Spirit of Christ does not make us fear, but love Him and trust in His power and be of sound temperance. This is a verse I go to quite often. Blessings.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Jess, OCD and in particular, Religious OCD, can really rob us of our ability to feel God's presence. When it's bad there is a numbness toward God or a feeling that He's just not there. The only emotion we seem to be able to feel if intense fear. This emotion shoves all our other emotions to the side and dominates the stage of our mind. What you must not do is to make the fear into the thing that speaks truth about anything in relation to your relationship with Christ. The fear is just the result of a misfiring in the center of your brain that controls the fight or flight response. It's very hard to ignore a broken fire alarm isn't it? But when the alarm system of the brain is malfunctioning we really struggle to ignore it and we feel that we simply must attend to whatever the theme or obsession that this fear has attached itself to. But the more we attend, by seeking reassurance or endless rumination, the worse the OCD cycle gets. The obsessional content gets more and more imbedded into our mind like nails driven in there by a very heavy hammer. It seems we can never pull them out. My advice to you is to learn all you can about managing OCD through Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy. This is what has helped me more than anything else in learning to train my brain to let go of some really painful obsessions. This is a disorder not a spiritual problem. You have to approach it like that in order to gain ground against it. I'll be praying for you that God would grant you the understanding you need to manage it and that He would give you the courage to apply that understanding. God Bless! Mitzi

Thank you, Kay. What you say makes sense and it has eased the fear a little bit. I cannot DEMAND of God to give me a message or sign. I just was really desperate. I feel so alone, and I think if I was able to feel his presence in my life it would make it easier or something. I read of so many others experiences of revelation and feeling God's presence and I don't think I've ever had that and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me.