Is anyone here an example of. . .

[A. believer]

or does anyone here know anyone who's an example of, a woman who loves and serves the Lord who was raised in a home with a believing mother and an unbelieving father?

 

[constance]

I think my father only realized what belief was when I was an adult, although he attended church.

Does that make sense?

 

[CCe]

My dad claimed to be a Christian but didn't go to church. My mom made sure we were raised in church and he didn't object to us going. I'm not sure if that's what you mean but I married into a similar situation. I raised my children in church but until recently my husband didn't go.

 

[A. believer]

I think my father only realized what belief was when I was an adult, although he attended church.

Does that make sense?

So as you were growing up, your mother had a vibrant faith, and your father was a nominal Christian, is that it?

 

[A. believer]

My dad claimed to be a Christian but didn't go to church. My mom made sure we were raised in church and he didn't object to us going. I'm not sure if that's what you mean but I married into a similar situation. I raised my children in church but until recently my husband didn't go.

So, similarly to Constance, your mother was characterized by genuine faith, while your father was only nominally Christian?

 

[JulySheMustFly]

I was. My mom was the one who prayed and took us to church and read her Bible. I know she struggled with being the one who lead us in that way especially since the one church we went to told her flat out that she should not be attending church if her husband wasn't attending. Anyway, my dad never had a problem with church and was baptised as a teen but doesn't really have any fruit to show for it so I don't know where he really stands. I do hold hope for him though.

 

[racer]

Acturally, neither of my parents attended Church when I was growing up. The same is true for my husband, even though his father was raised in a very active Pentecostal Holiness family.

However, my sister-in-law (she's married to my husband's brother) was raised in a home where her mother took them to church. I don't know that her father was a non-believer. But, I know he has not ever been active in church or attended church with the family. And my sister-in-law is one of the most faith filled women I know. She is a great example of Christian faith.

 

[CCe]

So, similarly to Constance, your mother was characterized by genuine faith, while your father was only nominally Christian?

I suppose that could be a true statement...how were your parents?

 

[A. believer]

I suppose that could be a true statement...how were your parents?

Well my own upbringing has nothing to do with why I'm asking, but my parents were nominal Roman Catholics. My father was raised in a Roman Catholic environment, but he seemed to have been drifting farther and farther from his faith as I was growing up. I suspect that may have had something to do with Vatican II, although he passed away years before it ever would have occurred to me to ask. But he was an altar boy in his youth, and I suspect the traditional Latin Mass and pre-Vatican II teaching were instrumental in forming his thinking about the faith. After Vatican II, he was probably somewhat disillusioned. This is speculation on my part, though, but since I remember being fairly regular in going to confession and Mass when I was very young, and then that just kind of not being a priority anymore as I moved up into later elementary school, it seems likely since I would have been 7/8 in the year of Vatican II.

And although my mother formally converted to Roman Catholicism from, I believe, a Methodist background, in order to marry my father, she (and her mother before her) were not religious, and if they had been, I'd say they would have been more Unitarian-inclined. Although my mother passed away in 1982, I think she would have been quite comfortable in today's world. I was definitely more influenced in my thinking by her than by my father, and I was pretty much post-modern despondent/nihilistic in my youth long before post-modernism was the norm. I thought more like today's teenagers/young adults than I did like a late 70's/early 80's teenager/young adult (which is what I was).

I was exposed to evangelical Christianity through a friend when I was 13/14, and I was temporarily drawn to it, but I stopped attending church with her and I actively rejected Christianity altogether after about a year of that. Then I was born again (or truly converted) ten years later, indirectly, through the influence of this same friend.

But early in my Christian walk I made some poor choices, got carried away in sin, and ended up marrying an unbeliever from another culture and religion. Now that my children are getting older (my oldest daughter is graduating from high school in a couple of months), and I see an increasing influence of the world on her thinking, it scares me. And the other day when I was thinking about some of the well known people who were raised by Christian mothers and unbelieving fathers (Timothy in the Bible and Augustine are the main ones who come to my mind), it occurred to me that I wasn't aware of any well-known Christian women raised in this kind of environment. I started thinking about the kind of influence the paternal relationship has on a girl, and I wondered if it having an unbelieving father would commonly influence a girl away from the faith.

This is probably way more than you really wanted to know, but I was both answering your question and explaining my reason for the thread at the same time.

 

[A. believer]

Acturally, neither of my parents attended Church when I was growing up. The same is true for my husband, even though his father was raised in a very active Pentecostal Holiness family.

However, my sister-in-law (she's married to my husband's brother) was raised in a home where her mother took them to church. I don't know that her father was a non-believer. But, I know he has not ever been active in church or attended church with the family. And my sister-in-law is one of the most faith filled women I know. She is a great example of Christian faith.

Thanks, Lisa. These kinds of answers are encouraging. My situation is unique in that my husband is of another religion (Jainism), but obviously, it's a lot more likely that in this country, there will be a lot more examples of families where the father would have been Christian, but only nominally so.

And it's not as if any of my children are drawn to my husband's faith. There are a number of complex possible reasons why, but whatever the reasons, they all firmly despise Jainism.

 

[racer]

Thanks, Lisa. These kinds of answers are encouraging. My situation is unique in that my husband is of another religion (Jainism),

I suspected that this is why you were asking. I find it hard to believe that your girls will not be strongly influenced in a positive way by your beliefs. I believe this because you offer way more than most Christian mothers do. You offer logic, reason, and intellectual foundations for belief and faith in God in addition to a strong love and simple faith in His existence.

 

[CCe]

Well my own upbringing has nothing to do with why I'm asking, but my parents were nominal Roman Catholics. My father was raised in a Roman Catholic environment, but he seemed to have been drifting farther and farther from his faith as I was growing up. I suspect that may have had something to do with Vatican II, although he passed away years before it ever would have occurred to me to ask. But he was an altar boy in his youth, and I suspect the traditional Latin Mass and pre-Vatican II teaching were instrumental in forming his thinking about the faith. After Vatican II, he was probably somewhat disillusioned. This is speculation on my part, though, but since I remember being fairly regular in going to confession and Mass when I was very young, and then that just kind of not being a priority anymore as I moved up into later elementary school, it seems likely since I would have been 7/8 in the year of Vatican II.

And although my mother formally converted to Roman Catholicism from, I believe, a Methodist background, in order to marry my father, she (and her mother before her) were not religious, and if they had been, I'd say they would have been more Unitarian-inclined. Although my mother passed away in 1982, I think she would have been quite comfortable in today's world. I was definitely more influenced in my thinking by her than by my father, and I was pretty much post-modern despondent/nihilistic in my youth long before post-modernism was the norm. I thought more like today's teenagers/young adults than I did like a late 70's/early 80's teenager/young adult (which is what I was).

I was exposed to evangelical Christianity through a friend when I was 13/14, and I was temporarily drawn to it, but I stopped attending church with her and I actively rejected Christianity altogether after about a year of that. Then I was born again (or truly converted) ten years later, indirectly, through the influence of this same friend.

But early in my Christian walk I made some poor choices, got carried away in sin, and ended up marrying an unbeliever from another culture and religion. Now that my children are getting older (my oldest daughter is graduating from high school in a couple of months), and I see an increasing influence of the world on her thinking, it scares me. And the other day when I was thinking about some of the well known people who were raised by Christian mothers and unbelieving fathers (Timothy in the Bible and Augustine are the main ones who come to my mind), it occurred to me that I wasn't aware of any well-known Christian women raised in this kind of environment. I started thinking about the kind of influence the paternal relationship has on a girl, and I wondered if it having an unbelieving father would commonly influence a girl away from the faith.

This is probably way more than you really wanted to know, but I was both answering your question and explaining my reason for the thread at the same time.

No, I'm glad you explained! Actually, I think girls are more inclined to stay connected to their faith even if they drift a little. The world may have a little influence for a short time but it sounds like you instilled a solid foundation. Just keep trying to instill/live that faith....

 

[A. believer]

I suspected that this is why you were asking. I find it hard to believe that your girls will not be strongly influenced in a positive way by your beliefs. I believe this because you offer way more than most Christian mothers do. You offer logic, reason, and intellectual foundations for belief and faith in God in addition to a strong love and simple faith in His existence.

Except that my older daughter tends to get irritated with me at being expected to justify her thinking. For instance, the other day, she was throughly resistant to having me expound to her on her conclusion in her critical essay for her AP Lit class about the influence of Romanticism and Rationalism in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. She seemed not to care less that she was implicitly endorsing the anti-Christian assumptions of human autonomous thought behind both movements. In fact, once I confirmed to her that there were no typos or grammatical errors, she just wanted to print out her essay and get back to blogging and commenting on her and her friends' MySpace.com. Go figure.

 

[racer]

Except that my older daughter tends to get irritated with me at being expected to justify her thinking. For instance, the other day, she was thoroughly resistant to having me expound to her on her conclusion in her critical essay for her AP Lit class about the influence of Romanticism and Rationalism in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. She seemed not to care less that she was implicitly endorsing the anti-Christian assumptions of human autonomous thought behind both movements. In fact, once I confirmed to her that there were no typos or grammatical errors, she just wanted to print out her essay and get back to blogging and commenting on her and her friends' MySpace.com. Go figure.

I think we recognize a level of intellect in our children of great likeness to our own and expect that they are as aware and interested in it as we--but, then youth and immaturity crop out in them.

I was so aggravated with my daughter because she refused to take AP English. She said she doesn't like to write. I tried to explain that she will still have to do this when she goes on to college and that it won't be anymore pleasant there, but she still refused.

 

[A. believer]

I think we recognize a level of intellect in our children of great likeness to our own and expect that they are as aware and interested in it as we--but, then youth and immaturity crop out in them.

I was so aggravated with my daughter because she refused to take AP English. She said she doesn't like to write. I tried to explain that she will still have to do this when she goes on to college and that it won't be anymore pleasant there, but she still refused.

Of course, when I wrote out that post, it was kind of tongue-in-cheek. That was the impetus behind the "Go figure" comment. I recognized even when she was resisting me that very few kids her age would have had any interest in the kind of discussion I wanted to have. But still it's hard because our kids are daily making decisions based upon the way they think about reality, and it scarily frustrating to have no control over the level of influence the world has on their thinking. Public schools, popular entertainment, etc. And soon she'll be going off to college, and I'll have no influence anymore! Yikes! (Not that I have any direct influence on her thinking anymore, anyway, but I'm still having trouble coming to grips with that.)

I go back and forth between trying to convince myself to just trust in God since He's the only one who can bring conviction, anyway, and feeling terribly guilty over the fact that I wasn't able to rear my children in an "ideal" Christian environment. It's a huge struggle I'm having these days.