All the time?
My daughter plays college softball. She is the spirit leader, does all the books, notices when someone is "down" or being picked on and build them up or calls those out who are being less than kind. She even brings her sewing kit and repairs uniforms in the dugout and designed the logo they had on their practice wear. I think she is a better than they give her credit for on the field but if she never gets any playing time, she can't get better. She even pitches almost every practice to give her teammates batting practice but they have never even put her on the mound this year to see how she does. She isn't a starting pitcher and she knows it because she doesn't have the high speed, but she is accurate and good under pressure and has a pitch that nobody can hit. There have been times where they should have put her in to shut an inning down and give the struggling pitcher a chance to regroup and warm up another pitcher.
This has been the story of her softball career since her dad died. When her dad was alive, coaches saw her. Since he died, they don't see her. She was better than her high school coach saw her and she proved this by making a college team as a walk on after being ignored by her high school coach. She was the only one on the high school team to make a college team. She knew she wouldn't be a starter but she was told that she was "a college level" player. Then they never told her what she was doing wrong or weak at ... and just let her sit in the dug out doing all the chores for the team without getting much playing time. Other girls who have whined get put in. She won't stoop to that.
I hope that she has gotten more out of the experience than the hurt that she hides when the don't put her in at all in a game or put her in when there is likely no way for her to succeed. I'd understand if she was worse than the other players but she isn't. I am now glad that I didn't force her into missing a trip with her friends to Japan because they would be leaving the week the team could be going to nationals. They still stand a really good chance to be going to nationals...but I'd rather she be having fun in Japan than sitting in a dugout wishing she could play in Mississippi.
I personally resent that the coaches haven't been honest with her...given her the option of not being on the team if they didn't intend to play her. Practice takes up a lot of time and dedication. She would have rathered been given the title of "manager" if that was going to be her role. I also resent that the coaches told me to stop taking her to her private lessons "because they would teach her what she needed to know"... and my daughter wouldn't make appointment with her private coach because she believe them. (I also think she was trying to save me money knowing it is always tight ... but I have always paid to help my kids be their best in the things that matter to them). I have to believe that God is preparing her for something in the future from this experience but it is hard to watch my daughter suffer ... knowing that I know exactly how she feels. I remember being on teams that I made by trying out ... but feeling like I was the team servant because I was the only one who knew how to run a washing machine when we were out of town and I sewed custom uniforms that we wanted but didn't exist in the real world. I didn't charge anything and I don't think I remember anyone saying thank you...and I always felt left out.
