Intense Dread of Damnation

[STommy]

I can't take it anymore. My mental state is in a downward spiral and my sins just keep hardening my heart. I abandoned God and in response he abandoned me (rightfully so.) I hate life. I hate living. But I'm afraid to die because I know I'm going to hell. I've lived in sin for so long that it no longer has an effect on me. No encouraging words, no gospel could save me. I'm a hopeless, damned, F****** fool. Everyday my hatred grows for myself and for others. It has escalated to the point where I fantasize, I desire to hurt my own mother. I can't stand her. Every time I even hear her voice I was to lash out and strike her down. Recently I've even had thoughts like "It'd be better to burn in hell alone than be in heaven with my mother!" My inappropriate content addiction knows no bounds. I lustfully look at girls everyday to the point where I wish I was blind!!! How I've even envisioned myself driving a spike through my own eyes! And everyday I draw closer to a hate driven explosion of rage. I push myself away from God further and further because I can't be saved. Repent? Can't do it. Believe? Couldn't if I tried. And I've tried. I've cried out to God so many times in the past for nothing to change, nothing to happen. My own wicked heart blocked God's ears from hearing me. All the hundreds of prayers, my own baptism all for nothing. All in vain. Why even try anymore. Maybe I should let my rage consume me and drive me to hurt people. On my way to hell anyway!
It has gotten to the point where a part of me accepts my damnation. I will be an example of God's justice and hatred for sinners, and a part of me has just begun to deal with that. It has become a reality for me. And even if I could turn, God wouldn't hear. My wicked, evil stupid soul is repulsive to God. He may not take pleasure in destroying me, but with the way things are going he will do it without mercy. Is there any way I can at least be at peace with going to hell? Is there another way? Probably not.....

 

[WonbyOneanddone]

John 3:17 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

The world gives us condemnation for falling short, as where God gives us a heart of repentance and hope.

 

[TenthAveN]

I feel that too, man.

 

[SeventyOne]

Is there another way?

Yup. Time to repent and be saved. Only God is able to turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26) and make us as a new creation (Galatians 6:14-15).

 

[chevyontheriver]

I can't take it anymore. My mental state is in a downward spiral and my sins just keep hardening my heart. I abandoned God and in response he abandoned me (rightfully so.) I hate life. I hate living. But I'm afraid to die because I know I'm going to hell. I've lived in sin for so long that it no longer has an effect on me. No encouraging words, no gospel could save me. I'm a hopeless, damned, F****** fool. Everyday my hatred grows for myself and for others. It has escalated to the point where I fantasize, I desire to hurt my own mother. I can't stand her. Every time I even hear her voice I was to lash out and strike her down. Recently I've even had thoughts like "It'd be better to burn in hell alone than be in heaven with my mother!" My inappropriate content addiction knows no bounds. I lustfully look at girls everyday to the point where I wish I was blind!!! How I've even envisioned myself driving a spike through my own eyes! And everyday I draw closer to a hate driven explosion of rage. I push myself away from God further and further because I can't be saved. Repent? Can't do it. Believe? Couldn't if I tried. And I've tried. I've cried out to God so many times in the past for nothing to change, nothing to happen. My own wicked heart blocked God's ears from hearing me. All the hundreds of prayers, my own baptism all for nothing. All in vain. Why even try anymore. Maybe I should let my rage consume me and drive me to hurt people. On my way to hell anyway!
It has gotten to the point where a part of me accepts my damnation. I will be an example of God's justice and hatred for sinners, and a part of me has just begun to deal with that. It has become a reality for me. And even if I could turn, God wouldn't hear. My wicked, evil stupid soul is repulsive to God. He may not take pleasure in destroying me, but with the way things are going he will do it without mercy. Is there any way I can at least be at peace with going to hell? Is there another way? Probably not.....

Just go to confession.

 

[WonbyOneanddone]

God is either all powerful and capable of miracles or its' all a fable.

 

[Tone]

First off,

Welcome @STommy; @WonbyOneanddone; and @TenthAveN!!!

Next,


Abba Yah, please Breathe Your Holy Breath mightily into this Body and raise us up, in Yahshua ha Mashiach, and Speak Peace unto every aspect of our beings. Open our ears to Your Voice alone and bring to pass all the good works of those You have sent to minister unto us. Amen.


No matter how far we descend, His love is deeper still, to raise us again...and again...and again...


Isaiah 40
"30Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. 31But those who wait upon the LORD will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint."

Mount up my brothers for our redemption is nearer than we first believed!

 

[Aussie Pete]

I can't take it anymore. My mental state is in a downward spiral and my sins just keep hardening my heart. I abandoned God and in response he abandoned me (rightfully so.) I hate life. I hate living. But I'm afraid to die because I know I'm going to hell. I've lived in sin for so long that it no longer has an effect on me. No encouraging words, no gospel could save me. I'm a hopeless, damned, F****** fool. Everyday my hatred grows for myself and for others. It has escalated to the point where I fantasize, I desire to hurt my own mother. I can't stand her. Every time I even hear her voice I was to lash out and strike her down. Recently I've even had thoughts like "It'd be better to burn in hell alone than be in heaven with my mother!" My inappropriate content addiction knows no bounds. I lustfully look at girls everyday to the point where I wish I was blind!!! How I've even envisioned myself driving a spike through my own eyes! And everyday I draw closer to a hate driven explosion of rage. I push myself away from God further and further because I can't be saved. Repent? Can't do it. Believe? Couldn't if I tried. And I've tried. I've cried out to God so many times in the past for nothing to change, nothing to happen. My own wicked heart blocked God's ears from hearing me. All the hundreds of prayers, my own baptism all for nothing. All in vain. Why even try anymore. Maybe I should let my rage consume me and drive me to hurt people. On my way to hell anyway!
It has gotten to the point where a part of me accepts my damnation. I will be an example of God's justice and hatred for sinners, and a part of me has just begun to deal with that. It has become a reality for me. And even if I could turn, God wouldn't hear. My wicked, evil stupid soul is repulsive to God. He may not take pleasure in destroying me, but with the way things are going he will do it without mercy. Is there any way I can at least be at peace with going to hell? Is there another way? Probably not.....

Do you not know that God only saves sinners? You qualify. God would have saved Adolf Hitler, if Hitler had repented and accepted Christ. Before you do anything or say any more, please read this article:

The Way - Christian Life Frankston

You are under the condemnation of the devil. God is not the source of condemnation. He wants to deliver you. All you need to do is accept His way of freedom. LOrd Jesus shed His precious blood in order that you might be forgiven. When was the last time that you claimed the cleansing of the blood of Christ? If God expects us to forgive others 490 times a day, how often do you think that God will forgive if we confess our sin?

 

[Gregory Thompson]

I can't take it anymore. My mental state is in a downward spiral and my sins just keep hardening my heart. I abandoned God and in response he abandoned me (rightfully so.) I hate life. I hate living. But I'm afraid to die because I know I'm going to hell. I've lived in sin for so long that it no longer has an effect on me. No encouraging words, no gospel could save me. I'm a hopeless, damned, F****** fool. Everyday my hatred grows for myself and for others. It has escalated to the point where I fantasize, I desire to hurt my own mother. I can't stand her. Every time I even hear her voice I was to lash out and strike her down. Recently I've even had thoughts like "It'd be better to burn in hell alone than be in heaven with my mother!" My inappropriate content addiction knows no bounds. I lustfully look at girls everyday to the point where I wish I was blind!!! How I've even envisioned myself driving a spike through my own eyes! And everyday I draw closer to a hate driven explosion of rage. I push myself away from God further and further because I can't be saved. Repent? Can't do it. Believe? Couldn't if I tried. And I've tried. I've cried out to God so many times in the past for nothing to change, nothing to happen. My own wicked heart blocked God's ears from hearing me. All the hundreds of prayers, my own baptism all for nothing. All in vain. Why even try anymore. Maybe I should let my rage consume me and drive me to hurt people. On my way to hell anyway!
It has gotten to the point where a part of me accepts my damnation. I will be an example of God's justice and hatred for sinners, and a part of me has just begun to deal with that. It has become a reality for me. And even if I could turn, God wouldn't hear. My wicked, evil stupid soul is repulsive to God. He may not take pleasure in destroying me, but with the way things are going he will do it without mercy. Is there any way I can at least be at peace with going to hell? Is there another way? Probably not.....

Confession is a good start, it will help clearing out that mass of sin that is affecting your mind and heart.

The next maturation of confession is boasting of your weaknesses, so that Christ's power will rest on you.

you're not alone in your struggle, but you are also not without a remedy.

God bless.

 

[Rachel20]

And even if I could turn, God wouldn't hear.

You know, this isn't God persuading you of this. It's like saying your sin weighs more in Gods scales than the life of his only begotten Son who he loved, and who he sent because he loved you. You're just trapped in the vortex of sin, because you played around the edges too long and finally got sucked in. First step is simply recognizing you need God to get you out, and I think you're already there. Just trust that he's bigger than your sin.

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. John 8:36

 

[STommy]

Do you not know that God only saves sinners? You qualify. God would have saved Adolf Hitler, if Hitler had repented and accepted Christ. Before you do anything or say any more, please read this article:

The Way - Christian Life Frankston

You are under the condemnation of the devil. God is not the source of condemnation. He wants to deliver you. All you need to do is accept His way of freedom. LOrd Jesus shed His precious blood in order that you might be forgiven. When was the last time that you claimed the cleansing of the blood of Christ? If God expects us to forgive others 490 times a day, how often do you think that God will forgive if we confess our sin?

In this article it says I must believe with a heart rending experience, how can I feel this? How can I experience this? My heart has hardened past the point of being able to feel anything but anger. I doubt I could truly believe at this point.

 

[STommy]

I feel that too, man.

The others in this posts had some good advice. One even had a link to a really good gospel article that I found helpful.

 

[Tone]

In this article it says I must believe with a heart rending experience, how can I feel this? How can I experience this? My heart has hardened past the point of being able to feel anything but anger. I doubt I could truly believe at this point.

But, you are waiting...aren't you?

 

[Aussie Pete]

In this article it says I must believe with a heart rending experience, how can I feel this? How can I experience this? My heart has hardened past the point of being able to feel anything but anger. I doubt I could truly believe at this point.

Ask God. I did, when I was in a similar state to you. Someone I know played this song, not knowing what I was going through. It was the turning point for my life at that time.

 

[bottoWordx]

Do you have sin?

 

[Tone]

But, you are waiting...aren't you?

Seek your gifts and use them no matter how you feel.

Go down using them.

@STommy

 

[com7fy8]

I've tried.

You are not the only one. There is a reason why what we try has not worked: what God does is what works. And it helps me to love and care for women. Pray blessing to them.

I was not good with my mother. Ones say I helped her, and stuff like that. But I know that inside me I was not loving and caring and taking an interest in her, the way I should have. And she has died; but now I can love others the way God wants.

With God through Jesus, you can leave behind how you have failed, and start fresh.

And if we fail again, start new again however God blesses. And He is the One who is creative for loving; so trying on my own has not worked because what I may try does not work! Jesus wants us to rest from our trying and crying and denying > Jesus has this hope for "all" >

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (in Matthew 11:28-30)

 

[TheWordIsOne101]

I can't take it anymore. My mental state is in a downward spiral and my sins just keep hardening my heart. I abandoned God and in response he abandoned me (rightfully so.) I hate life. I hate living. But I'm afraid to die because I know I'm going to hell. I've lived in sin for so long that it no longer has an effect on me. No encouraging words, no gospel could save me. I'm a hopeless, damned, F****** fool. Everyday my hatred grows for myself and for others. It has escalated to the point where I fantasize, I desire to hurt my own mother. I can't stand her. Every time I even hear her voice I was to lash out and strike her down. Recently I've even had thoughts like "It'd be better to burn in hell alone than be in heaven with my mother!" My inappropriate content addiction knows no bounds. I lustfully look at girls everyday to the point where I wish I was blind!!! How I've even envisioned myself driving a spike through my own eyes! And everyday I draw closer to a hate driven explosion of rage. I push myself away from God further and further because I can't be saved. Repent? Can't do it. Believe? Couldn't if I tried. And I've tried. I've cried out to God so many times in the past for nothing to change, nothing to happen. My own wicked heart blocked God's ears from hearing me. All the hundreds of prayers, my own baptism all for nothing. All in vain. Why even try anymore. Maybe I should let my rage consume me and drive me to hurt people. On my way to hell anyway!
It has gotten to the point where a part of me accepts my damnation. I will be an example of God's justice and hatred for sinners, and a part of me has just begun to deal with that. It has become a reality for me. And even if I could turn, God wouldn't hear. My wicked, evil stupid soul is repulsive to God. He may not take pleasure in destroying me, but with the way things are going he will do it without mercy. Is there any way I can at least be at peace with going to hell? Is there another way? Probably not.....

Greeting
a question please, what are you looking for? or what is it you wish, before someone can help you, you first need to ask, a question and is it always what do I want truly want for my life.
do not wish to die, fight for your life, the gospel gives us how to overcome and have victory.
You are fighting your member.

Psalms 73:20-21 (NKJV) As a dream when one awakes, So, Lord, when You awake, You shall despise their image.
Thus my heart was grieved, And I was vexed in my mind.