In need of help

[chillyoctober]

I’m afraid I’ve come to a last resort. I think I may be a homosexual and I do not wish to lead this life. This group of people came to mind as some that could maybe help me lead a healthy straight life. Any tips on how to turn myself heterosexual? I wish to live a happy healthy life as one and not as a homosexual!

 

[chillyoctober]

By the way I am a teenager I have many years ahead of many to change

 

[mukk_in]

Hello. For starters, I admire your courage and honesty regarding your proclivities.

I'm not a specialist in this area, but there are a lot of Christian counselors who can help you with your problem. Here's a good resource:
Homosexuality Archives - Association of Certified Biblical Counselors

Whether its ingrained or just a temptation, the power of the Holy Spirit can set you free. If you haven't received the Holy Spirit, ask your pastor to lay hands on you and pray for you. You need omnipotence to break such tendencies and habits.

I'm not sure if this will work for you, but try and make friends with godly women. You'll be surprised that not only are they attractive but intelligent and friendly as well.

I'll be praying for you. You'll receive more prayers and advice here. God bless.

 

[ajcarey]

I’m afraid I’ve come to a last resort. I think I may be a homosexual and I do not wish to lead this life. This group of people came to mind as some that could maybe help me lead a healthy straight life. Any tips on how to turn myself heterosexual? I wish to live a happy healthy life as one and not as a homosexual!

It is great that you do not want to be a homosexual and you should strive to not become one. You need to know what God says about this and make sure that you do not go down the path to this; and make sure that you moreover turn off this path back to the place of righteousness, healing, and restoration in the Lord Jesus. If you read Romans chapter 1 you'll see that the root of homosexuality is actually ingratitude towards God, refusal to glorify Him demonstrated by not walking in the truth one knows about how God wants them to righteously live; beyond that is idolatry in crafting God according to human desires and the likeness of created beings; and beyond that are vile, inconvenient deeds that harm others and one's own self, homosexuality being the chief example that the Apostle gives of such heinous deeds. There are natural reasons why some have tendencies towards homosexuality which in themselves may not be their fault, but no one will ever actually become a homosexual or even that close to becoming one if they do not go down this path of depravity outlined in Romans 1.

So you need to make sure that every way in which you've sinned against God is thoroughly renounced and forsaken; and every allowance in your mind that said that any sin was okay in God's eyes you need to renounce and condemn as idolatry and lies. This is going to deal with things that are not homosexuality, while you still also need to renounce any mental allowance and/or mental indulgence in homosexuality as well. The good news is that if we are willing to repent towards God in this manner He has offered deliverance from both sin's guilt and sin's power through the atoning death and the saving life of His Son the Lord Jesus Christ. If you will repent thoroughly and call on Him to wash you clean and give you a new life that will give you power over sin's dominion He has promised by His grace to do that for you. But you need to be willing to forsake all sin in death to self and live henceforth to belong to Him to follow Him as your Lord and to let Him have His way with you. He is a faithful physician, yet only those who are willing to exercise real confidence in Him and take his whole prescription are going to actually be made well and salvaged. To call on Him to be your Lord and Savior you need to take His Word the Bible to be your authoritative guide and live in submission to its instructions from here onwards. As you call on the Lord daily to transform you as you walk by faith to follow the Truth of His Word He will transform you, heal your soul to restore you towards His image, and enable you to actually do what the Word demands. And where you yet fall short of perfection there is continual cleansing from sin available through Christ's High Priesthood before God's Throne- that is, for those who are walking in the light in submission to His Word since God's grace is never a license to continue in sin and be right with Him anyways (Romans 5-6, 1 John chapters 1 and 2, etc).

Please deal thoroughly with Him and get right with Him now while you are serious and seeking a real solution to a real spiritual problem. There is no guarantee you'll ever be in as good a position as you are now to get on Christ's side and enter His narrow way that leads to life. It is His good pleasure to show you His grace and redeem you if you'll just cooperate with the way He has already made to rescue you.

Romans 1:16-18: "16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. 17 For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. 18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness"

John 8:31-36: "31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; 32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
33 They answered him, We be Abraham's seed, and were never in bondage to any man: how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free? 34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. 35 And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever. 36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed."

 

[~Anastasia~]

I’m afraid I’ve come to a last resort. I think I may be a homosexual and I do not wish to lead this life. This group of people came to mind as some that could maybe help me lead a healthy straight life. Any tips on how to turn myself heterosexual? I wish to live a happy healthy life as one and not as a homosexual!

Hello and welcome to CF.

Prayers for you.

I won't offer tips on changing yourself though cognitive-behavioral ones are probably most promising from a psychological standpoint. (The spiritual should not be overlooked though.)

But I do want to explain how this is viewed within Orthodoxy (and has been viewed by Christianity in the early centuries).

It probably isn't helpful to think "I AM a whatever-sin-tempts-you/homosexual". Rather, we are all broken human beings with a tendency toward sin, and we all have particular inclinations and temptations. That doesn't make us identified with whatber that temptation may be.

It is a problem of course, because there is no legitimate means of satisfying what is (in a sense) a normal human desire - meaning the sexual desire. The same is true for anyone who desires what they cannot legitimately have, like a string of new partners, or anything else other than a marriage of one man and one woman.

But that doesn't make you a different kind of person. Just one who wants something outside of what God prescribes - which we all have some degree of desires for things that are not within the ideal. The Christian life is about overcoming temptation and growing in virtue and becoming like Christ. But it's true that being same-sex attracted is a much heavier cross to bear than something like a fondness for too much ice cream.

Ah. This isn't easy. I want to be helpful. But I also want to encourage you to see your situation clearly. Thoughts such as "I am an xyz" or especially "God made me an xyz" are very unhelpful, and that's where I wanted to start.

I will suggest this. You might look to see if there is an Orthodox monastery anywhere near you. I'm not saying you must become Orthodox. But they have a particularly helpful understanding of dealing with temptations. You might find more understanding than you expect. If we find ourselves with a same-sex attraction that can't be overcome (and maybe it can, or maybe it can't - it depends on the root cause) ... but if it can't be overcome, then the legitimate Christian means of dealing with it is chastity, so as I said, you might find understanding and particular help there.

I think I'll leave it there.

Whatever you do, if you do decide to submit to some kind of modification technique, PLEASE be careful as some are very - unhelpful and potentially even damaging. These are difficult waters to navigate.

God be with you.

 

[coffee4u]

I admire your courage for posting about this, you are mature for looking at this and being concerned. I think often in the teenage years many kids do think about the other sex and that having some of those thoughts is normal so long as they stay only occasional thoughts. I think where many go wrong is they have a thought or two and immediately assume this means they are homosexual. Then they start to dabble in it which makes it true, because like inappropriate contentography it's addictive. So first give yourself some leeway since you are only a teenager. Focus on your schoolwork, having friends, sport and clean fun. keep yourself and your mind away from anything that could drag you down or lead you into temptation. Again a lot of teens seem to think they must already have a girlfriend or a boyfriend when you really don't. You don't yet have to find girls sexually appealing to be heterosexual. I think the media and society often pushes kids too soon. You don't say how old you are, but give yourself a few more years. Relationships take the focus off your studies which really should be top of the list.

You could look to ministries dealing with this and prayer of course, but this is not a guarantee 'cure'. For some, I believe the correct road is celibacy which would be a hard road to take but would be the correct way to go for an adult with these types of feelings. Also, remember this is no different from any other sin that we all struggle with. All of us have a particular sin that is our thorn that we say we won't do and then go and do. For some it will be anger or gluttony or lying, no sin is worse than another sin. Temptation isn't a sin either, but acting on it or allowing your mind to dwell on it is.

Look at Pauls struggle and he is held up as being a great man of God, but even he wrestled with sin.
Romans 7:14-25 NKJV
14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

 

[mnorian]

Mod hat on

this thread has been moved from
Introduce Yourself
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Christian Advice
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and because IY is only for short greetings.
Hat off.​