In need of help making friends.

[DevinCamary]

Hi there. So uh... as the title says, I'm struggling with making friends in person. I live somewhere near post falls, ID, and I guess im looking for a club with like minded people. I'm a bit socially awkward and I haven't had any irl friends in a while so... sorry in advance.

But outside from that, what are helpful pieces of advice for finding friends, and maybe even a date with someone?

 

[jacks]

I think the best way is to go out and do something you enjoy. Then you will just naturally meet people and they will be others who share a similar interest. HERE is a site about groups near Post Falls (mostly in Spokane.) If it was me I'd do the "Dogs Need Friends" group, you of course can pick any one you like. And don't worry about feeling "socially awkward", frankly most people are, even those who think they aren't!

(Of course right now with the virus, much of this stuff will be on hold.)

 

[Halbhh]

Hi there. So uh... as the title says, I'm struggling with making friends in person. I live somewhere near post falls, ID, and I guess im looking for a club with like minded people. I'm a bit socially awkward and I haven't had any irl friends in a while so... sorry in advance.

But outside from that, what are helpful pieces of advice for finding friends, and maybe even a date with someone?

Well, looking into the future, when it's good to go out again with others, there are many tips, but one of the best is to do things you enjoy with other people. Often one can find some people in one's church that like various activities you like yourself, such as movies, music, and more. Some examples (there are thousands of activities), just a few, are day hiking, fire circles, book clubs, astronomy outings (or clubs), music societies, music circles (where you participate or take turns performing), church choirs, movie outings, Bible reading circles (where you take turns reading aloud, and discuss), Karaoke, cooking classes, and perhaps so many other things, like woodworking, discussion groups (centered around endless possible topics), and so on. So, you think about some things you really like to do, and find others that like to do that, or even join a group that does that thing, where you tend to meet people that like that same activity. For now, since we are all to stay in, you might find a forum where people that like that activity make posts, and ask about local groups in your area. This is one key thing to finding friends: to enjoy things together. Of course, once churches start back, one can enjoy the coffee and treats that often happen after services, but that could be a month or more away in the future, depending on your area.

 

[DevinCamary]

These are very helpful. Thank you guys.

One other thing too... I got no idea how to talk to others. I try joining in conversations but I usually get talked over because of how quiet I can be... I'm basically shy and scared of rejection when trying to make new friends.

 

[jacks]

Don't worry about getting "talked over". Often when I'm in a group, it is the quiet one that makes the best impression. Just try not to over think it, if you have something to say; say it, if not it is O.K. to be quiet. Remember people like you for how you make them feel about themselves, not whether you impress them with how clever you are. Be nice, be natural and you will make friends.

 

[Halbhh]

These are very helpful. Thank you guys.

One other thing too... I got no idea how to talk to others. I try joining in conversations but I usually get talked over because of how quiet I can be... I'm basically shy and scared of rejection when trying to make new friends.

Well, for the extroverts I meet I try to to hear where the other person is at, or ask them a question (best is more open like "You look like a weather forecaster?", and then listen, cause they want to talk, and then give my genuine reaction (so long as it is not critical of course). They love anyone that will listen any. For the introverts I venture forth my reaction to something first (go first, to bread the ice), like "wow, that was quite a sermon" (if that's your honest thought), or "I really liked that last song -- like that organ, man!" or such, or "are we really expected to eat all of this?" or "you look like a hiker(?)" or "how about those seahawks?" or "I kept expecting a quote from Abraham Lincoln" (ok, that one would be not very often, lol). etc (where you don't have to guess right, but you are breaking the ice. No doubt many people are better at this than me in some ways, but these work well enough for me. Then you pay attention to the person, and after a bit they will be making an effort also, or will the next Sunday, since you did an effort, and they will remember.