In a funk

[Angeleyes7715]

Well, guess I'm just venting so this is a lot of rambling on how I feel, still waiting to get a new counselor until I get settled in this new higher paying job I just got so for now forums are what I have.

Anyway, feeling a little better cause I drank a cup of coffee, not good for me but seems to be one of the few things that lift me out of my bad moods and calm me down ironically.

.... I know I need to pray but I'm having a hard time. I'm frustrated cause everything seems like a burden. Just taking care of myself feels like a burden cause I have tons of things all going wrong with my health at the same time and I'm only 25. Sometimes I feel like just letting everything go and doing nothing about it. Wish it was just as easy as going to Dr. And getting help, but it hasn't been. I don't trust doctors anymore, have a low grade sinus infection 4 years and haven't gotten help. Face tingling, hair shedding, itching, blurring eyes. I go to them for help and they brush me off, sometime I feel like Drs want people to die. I don't want to look in the mirror sometimes cause it's always something new. My teeth beginning to chip, my hair shedding, a new rash, or weird swelling. I'm anxious, I need to make a call tomorrow and tell the Dr the antibiotic I was put on didn't work and I want a culture since I'm still having symptoms. Don't want to call this Dr. Since she wasn't capable of detecting the infection in the first place. An urgent Care Dr.prescribed the antibiotic and detected the sinus infection ( technically I did his job for him cause I told him I had a sinus infection) pretty obvious.
Basically I feel like I'm as good as dead the way I'm going. My health has become a diy project and i love been trying natural remedies etc. I had to get my own labs done to find out I'm deficient in everything because my Drs aren't capable. It's been 4 years and doctors only care about money. Ive had 4 Drs in one year cause they keep quitting the practice. I work in healthcare and I feel like if Drs operate anything like the way the company I work for operates I'm in trouble cause they put patients with cancer and transplants at risk.

I just need more faith in God cause if he doesn't help me I might as well make out my will....
I admit to having a hard time praying right now. My aunt died of cancer recently after testifying God healed her for an entire year....

I went to my old counselor to just talk and I knew it probably wasn't a good idea but I wanted to talk to someone. He didn't seem like he cared and he raised his counseling prices after telling me that I wouldn't have to pay the higher price they still had me pay the higher price.

On top of this I am starting a new job and I'm anxious. I am dieting while starting the new job, not for weight but to try and starve the infection out and get healthier, so I'm cranky....

At the same time as working my day job I'm working on a business because I can't work a corporate job with all my health problems, it's just not going to happen and I don't like corporate jobs, causing me major stress and depression and anxiety every single day. I'm frustrated cause my business is taking forever to move along because my day job gets in the way.

Frustrated about my family and dating. I date alot so please no judgement. I do it because I'm lonely. I just broke up with a new guy I started talking to a few weeks ago and I feel guilty but it wasn't working (it's not the abusive relationship guy, it was a different guy) . Just personalities too different but I feel bad still. I was nice to him but I feel like a jerk because he seemed like an okay person and I told him not to contact me anymore...
Talking to a different guy in another state rn and it's like I feel hopeless so it's hard to be excited about talking to this person cause they are far away and it seems impossible.

I'm just really sick of trying with everything. I just don't want to anymore. And I don't know what to do.

 

[Neogaia777]

Wow!, I don't know what to tell you honestly, I just saw that no one had replied thus far, and thought I would, and just tell you that I am praying for you... For your health, and doctor situation, your career and job's and income situations, success in dating and finding someone, the way you feel and are feeling, life in general...

Sorry I don't have any good advice, but I will pray for you, I'm sure God knows and can and is much more very much more, "capable" of helping you than me...

God Bless!

 

[Solomons Porch]

Well, guess I'm just venting so this is a lot of rambling on how I feel, still waiting to get a new counselor until I get settled in this new higher paying job I just got so for now forums are what I have.

Anyway, feeling a little better cause I drank a cup of coffee, not good for me but seems to be one of the few things that lift me out of my bad moods and calm me down ironically.

.... I know I need to pray but I'm having a hard time. I'm frustrated cause everything seems like a burden. Just taking care of myself feels like a burden cause I have tons of things all going wrong with my health at the same time and I'm only 25. Sometimes I feel like just letting everything go and doing nothing about it. Wish it was just as easy as going to Dr. And getting help, but it hasn't been. I don't trust doctors anymore, have a low grade sinus infection 4 years and haven't gotten help. Face tingling, hair shedding, itching, blurring eyes. I go to them for help and they brush me off, sometime I feel like Drs want people to die. I don't want to look in the mirror sometimes cause it's always something new. My teeth beginning to chip, my hair shedding, a new rash, or weird swelling. I'm anxious, I need to make a call tomorrow and tell the Dr the antibiotic I was put on didn't work and I want a culture since I'm still having symptoms. Don't want to call this Dr. Since she wasn't capable of detecting the infection in the first place. An urgent Care Dr.prescribed the antibiotic and detected the sinus infection ( technically I did his job for him cause I told him I had a sinus infection) pretty obvious.
Basically I feel like I'm as good as dead the way I'm going. My health has become a diy project and i love been trying natural remedies etc. I had to get my own labs done to find out I'm deficient in everything because my Drs aren't capable. It's been 4 years and doctors only care about money. Ive had 4 Drs in one year cause they keep quitting the practice. I work in healthcare and I feel like if Drs operate anything like the way the company I work for operates I'm in trouble cause they put patients with cancer and transplants at risk.

I just need more faith in God cause if he doesn't help me I might as well make out my will....
I admit to having a hard time praying right now. My aunt died of cancer recently after testifying God healed her for an entire year....

I went to my old counselor to just talk and I knew it probably wasn't a good idea but I wanted to talk to someone. He didn't seem like he cared and he raised his counseling prices after telling me that I wouldn't have to pay the higher price they still had me pay the higher price.

On top of this I am starting a new job and I'm anxious. I am dieting while starting the new job, not for weight but to try and starve the infection out and get healthier, so I'm cranky....

At the same time as working my day job I'm working on a business because I can't work a corporate job with all my health problems, it's just not going to happen and I don't like corporate jobs, causing me major stress and depression and anxiety every single day. I'm frustrated cause my business is taking forever to move along because my day job gets in the way.

Frustrated about my family and dating. I date alot so please no judgement. I do it because I'm lonely. I just broke up with a new guy I started talking to a few weeks ago and I feel guilty but it wasn't working (it's not the abusive relationship guy, it was a different guy) . Just personalities too different but I feel bad still. I was nice to him but I feel like a jerk because he seemed like an okay person and I told him not to contact me anymore...
Talking to a different guy in another state rn and it's like I feel hopeless so it's hard to be excited about talking to this person cause they are far away and it seems impossible.

I'm just really sick of trying with everything. I just don't want to anymore. And I don't know what to do.

Ummmm have u went to a gyno? Im not in the med profession, but idk i feel for you, wow. Praying.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Thanks for the prayers, yup seen a gyno. Seen about 10 different types of Drs. Very fed up with this mystery disease. I'm still not 100% convinced it's not parasites. With all the weird twitching, blurring vision, itching, and dizzy spells I think a lot of people would think that. Could be nerves though. Literally, God only knows.

 

[No Time for Drama]

Im also 25 and have job issues. Not that this helps but heres a few ideas. Keep talking to a counselor, keep praying. Il pray for you to. Also, try not to stress as that hurts the body more

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Thanks for the prayers, yup seen a gyno. Seen about 10 different types of Drs. Very fed up with this mystery disease. I'm still not 100% convinced it's not parasites. With all the weird twitching, blurring vision, itching, and dizzy spells I think a lot of people would think that. Literally feels like crawling under my skin and itching sometimes. Could be nerves though. Literally, God only knows.

About to go on another strict health food diet, exercise everyday, drink veggie juice, take supplements, and 10 days of wormwood and 1 month of grapefruit seed extract, coconut oil, olive oil, and acv.... Annnd my mom's upstairs throwing up (we split rent) poor thing, hope she didn't get food poisoned. We need better health in this house!

 

[Kit Sigmon]

It be unhealthy physically and spiritually to be living contrary to what God's Word says
...look at what happened when King Saul,King David, Samson etc did that.

 

[Poppyseed78]

I know you said you're on a health food diet, but I just want to reiterate a few things - first, stress and depression can sometimes manifest with physical symptoms as you describe. Second, are you getting adequate sleep? Do you have any allergies? Your symptoms could be caused by any number of things, thyroid imbalance, allergies, iron deficiency, auto-immune problem, or just stress. Do you get adequate vitamin D and B-12? A deficiency in both of those can result in depression. You said you have some deficiencies, so are you taking a supplement or trying to eat foods rich in whatever you lack? Are you drinking enough water?

I pray that your health improves, and I hope you're able to get a new counselor soon.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

You're not a burden, how can you be when you have a good paying job and can split up rent with your mom...

I could only wish to be that big of a help to my mom, so I can only do little things like laundry and help my brother with his homework,cook and chauffeur people around...

Having a good paying job is a blessing so don't knock that. Things can get hard without one.

And id try and eat healthy and be as healthy as possible( exercise) and see a Dr.

You didn't ask for these health problems so don't blame yourself ...and you're working despite them...so be kind to yourself.,,you're doing alot.

 

[mytel]

I just want to say i am praying as well for you, you seem to be going through a lot of things, just want you to know you can trust in God, He is always there for us. Try to focus on the positive things in your life. Remember that Jesus paid the price on the cross for us, through His grace we are forgiven, that is something truly joyful to focus on.