Im trying not to quit....

[Far Side Of the Moon]

My jobs that is... I made 500, gave my mom 200 put gas in and she's mad bc I didn't pick my brother something up to eat...when I went out and she's mad at me.

I do get him something when he rides with me to when I drop my other brother off at work...

It just makes me mad because its like my mom is evaporating and she doesn't even care... She's sitting up there asking what my brother wants ... Saying, " oh u want that's that's fine ..I don't care" when I'm gonna be paying for it :/

Idk I feel so wrong like I should have gotten my brother something today
And been more inclusive ....

But my brother is 19 capable of working...but idk....I'm so confused...I feel angry because my money is leaving me so fast... I just want to scream and pull my hair out

I should have followed my first mind and not spend my money at all but I was so hungry coming off of work I had to get something... I wish I didn't

Idk do I have a right to be mad? I don't even know at this point ...but I just feel sad because my cousin is able to save her money and had 1,000 in her bank and because her parents are financial idiots ...
Uhg!

Idk... I'm just ready to quit these jobs because its so frustrating my mom keeps raking and taking ....I know she needs the help but Lord!
And its like if I say anything,about how fast my money is going ...I'm the bad guy...

I don't think money is changing me...

Idk I just feel so confused....if i can never save anything what's the point of working? In doing it for my health at this point...

Not to be mean but I didn't have a family...you know?( I didn't have 4 kids) I just wish my dad did his job and kept his job ...I just want to quit...at least when I wasn't working i wasn't this stressed .....

I really want to cry so bad...but around my mom I have to act like nothings wrong...man I just want to disappear.

I feel I'm darned if I do..darned if I don't :/

Am I being selfish? Please just tell me the truth.

 

[Poppyseed78]

I strongly advise you not to quit your job. Jobs are hard to come by these days, and since you already have one, it's best to keep it. Also, even though you give some money to your family, you do have some left over, and it's important that you save what you do have. If you quit, you will be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I think you need to budget a set amount for your family every month and stick to it. If your mom asks for more, you can say "Sorry Mom, I already gave you what I budgeted for family expenses this month. I need the rest for books/tuition/what have you." You are allowed to save some money for yourself. I think it's good that you are helping your family, but it's not your responsibility to support them all. It sounds like there are able-bodied adults in your family who are capable of working, and it's wrong of your parents to force you to shoulder the burden.

 

[Saucy]

There's really two ways of seeing this. I know you work hard and it's your money, but who pays all the bills around the house? It's only right that you chip in, which you seem willing to do, but at the same time, you shouldn't let them drain you.

Sit down with your parents and create a budget. What are YOUR bills? Where do you need to chip in? And how much can you save? The biggest thing is saving as much as you can for whatever you might need. And your brother is 19. He needs to get a job and chip in as well.

It's only fair, if you're living there as an adult, that you pay your share of the bills. Who pays for your food? For you to use the electricity? The water you use? Etc.

 

[HereIStand]

Sorry about this situation, @Far Side Of the Moon. It sounds as though your family is taking advantage of you. If your Dad and brother were unable to work, then asking for your help would be understandable. Since they are able, they really should contribute. Keep working for your sake. Don't quit your jobs. And hang in there and finish school. God bless.

 

[Little Lantern]

Sounds like you're feeling used, @Far Side Of the Moon , and you're also feeling responsibility for everybody else's well-being. I'm adding you to my prayer list for God to give you wisdom in knowing what you need to do. Asking Him for guidance is something I try to do, but sometimes His answer means I have to make some changes .

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

There's really two ways of seeing this. I know you work hard and it's your money, but who pays all the bills around the house? It's only right that you chip in, which you seem willing to do, but at the same time, you shouldn't let them drain you.

Sit down with your parents and create a budget. What are YOUR bills? Where do you need to chip in? And how much can you save? The biggest thing is saving as much as you can for whatever you might need. And your brother is 19. He needs to get a job and chip in as well.

It's only fair, if you're living there as an adult, that you pay your share of the bills. Who pays for your food? For you to use the electricity? The water you use? Etc.

I Defintely chip in I paid 137 on a bill,.well I gave my mom 200...that's was for a bill

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Sounds like you're feeling used, @Far Side Of the Moon , and you're also feeling responsibility for everybody else's well-being. I'm adding you to my prayer list for God to give you wisdom in knowing what you need to do. Asking Him for guidance is something I try to do, but sometimes His answer means I have to make some changes .

Yes it kills me because a lot of this is because my dad stopped working, and my brother is 19 years old and he can work but he kinda lays around and isn't very responsible... Its as if I have kids ...and I don't ... Out of 500 I only spent around 25 bucks on my self. I gave my mom 200, got my dad,mom and brothers something to eat, my dad asked for 30 bucks.. I put 20 in the gas tank.... I just want to just crumble...especially when my cousin can save 1,000 easy...her parents don't drain her the way mines do.

Its like i can't do anything I can't save... I'm so angry I just want to quit ..bc it doesn't seem worth it.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I strongly advise you not to quit your job. Jobs are hard to come by these days, and since you already have one, it's best to keep it. Also, even though you give some money to your family, you do have some left over, and it's important that you save what you do have. If you quit, you will be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I think you need to budget a set amount for your family every month and stick to it. If your mom asks for more, you can say "Sorry Mom, I already gave you what I budgeted for family expenses this month. I need the rest for books/tuition/what have you." You are allowed to save some money for yourself. I think it's good that you are helping your family, but it's not your responsibility to support them all. It sounds like there are able-bodied adults in your family who are capable of working, and it's wrong of your parents to force you to shoulder the burden.

The last time I told my mom no I almost got kicked out... And yes everyone under the same roof as me is able bodied. My 19 year old brother just lays around its so annoying..when I was in school I had to give my mom half my refund every time..every time..and she told my 19 year old bro when he gets his refunds he can just keep his money. As for my older brother..they never hit my older brother up for cash...he is the only one who just pays a bill and that's it. They don't ask him for gas or anything....

I really want to quit ...like I want to turn my 2nd job down as well...what's the point of working if I can never save anything....its like I'm working just to work...like its for my health or something.

 

[Little Lantern]

Yes it kills me because a lot of this is because my dad stopped working, and my brother is 19 years old and he can work but he kinda lays around and isn't very responsible... Its as if I have kids ...

It sounds as though your family is taking advantage of you. If your Dad and brother were unable to work, then asking for your help would be understandable. Since they are able, they really should contribute.

I have to agree with @HereIStand. I am praying for you. I hate that this is happening to you.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

My mom insisted that we give 25% of our wages to her when living at home as a teenager. That's just $75 more than what your giving and with the cost of inflation over the last 50 yrs that probably accounts for the increase (goes my reasoning) Still having 50% left to yourself after bills are paid is almost unheard of when you have to live on your own. (looking at the sunnyside of the predicament) Paying yourself 10% of the gross in savings still leaves you with $200 of spending money. Sometimes adjusting your perception helps over hoping others will change. Find your comfort zone in it.

 

[paul1149]

The thing to do is to focus on the confusion and get rid of it. It doesn't matter what your cousin does or doesn't do. It matters what you do. Focus on yourself, your predicament, and what you need to do to change things.

It seems you can't express a difference of opinion in your household. That's problematic. Maybe you need to practice expressing yourself in clear but peaceful ways. That might get rid of some of your pent-up feelings, and it might even change some people around you over time. I don't see quitting the job as a step forward, because sooner or later you're going to need to have a job. Better to focus on the problems on the home front and see if you can alleviate or resolve them.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

My mom insisted that we give 25% of our wages to her when living at home as a teenager. That's just $75 more than what your giving and with the cost of inflation over the last 50 yrs that probably accounts for the increase (goes my reasoning) Still having 50% left to yourself after bills are paid is almost unheard of when you have to live on your own. (looking at the sunnyside of the predicament) Paying yourself 10% of the gross in savings still leaves you with $200 of spending money. Sometimes adjusting your perception helps over hoping others will change. Find your comfort zone in it.

I really feel parents should let their kids save... They didn't create the family they're in yes....yes chip in to help..but for me..I also have to pay tuition and you can bet your top dollar no one will help me...they'll tell me I should have saved my money...but I can't when they keep draining me.

In paying 200, plus gas(20) plusgetying everyone something to eat(25 ) more gas in the car ..-_- on lord knows how much that is... I was gonna open up a bank account that's 25 bucks more... I'm not gonna do it because its just too much money going out,

I really want to quit.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

The thing to do is to focus on the confusion and get rid of it. It doesn't matter what your cousin does or doesn't do. It matters what you do. Focus on yourself, your predicament, and what you need to do to change things.

It seems you can't express a difference of opinion in your household. That's problematic. Maybe you need to practice expressing yourself in clear but peaceful ways. That might get rid of some of your pent-up feelings, and it might even change some people around you over time. I don't see quitting the job as a step forward, because sooner or later you're going to need to have a job. Better to focus on the problems on the home front and see if you can alleviate or resolve them.

Yeah..I'm thinking that hopefully having a 2nd job will help but we'll see..the only thing that'll help is just just making more money....but I need my degree for that.

I'm trying I really am. I feel bad like I should just hand them my credit card..,I know that would tickle them pink if I did...but at the same time I know that isn't right to me...but I feel bad on both ends and just want to cry.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

I really feel parents should let their kids save... They didn't create the family they're in yes....yes chip in to help..but for me..I also have to pay tuition and you can bet your top dollar no one will help me...they'll tell me I should have saved my money...but I can't when they keep draining me.

In paying 200, plus gas(20) plusgetying everyone something to eat(25 ) more gas in the car ..-_- on lord knows how much that is... I was gonna open up a bank account that's 25 bucks more... I'm not gonna do it because its just too much money going out,

I really want to quit.

Would you still have your families safety net if you quit?

 

[HereIStand]

@Far Side Of the Moon, consider moving out and moving into a house with college age people. Living in a house (as opposed to an apartment) would keep the expenses down. That would allow you to focus on work and school.

 

[Poppyseed78]

I really have to reiterate, I don't think you should quit. You're building up your resume right now. Think of your long-term goals...having a solid work history is important, even if you aren't saving much money at the present time.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

@Far Side Of the Moon, consider moving out and moving into a house with college age people. Living in a house (as opposed to an apartment) would keep the expenses down. That would allow you to focus on work and school.

My best friend is doing this and it works like a charm for her. Big difference is that she has great friends...I don't... But I'm gonna keep my jobs though because of what poppy seed said...building,up long term work history.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I really have to reiterate, I don't think you should quit. You're building up your resume right now. Think of your long-term goals...having a solid work history is important, even if you aren't saving much money at the present time.

Yeah it would look really good on a resume. You make a lot of sense.
I just need to stay in school the only way out of this is getting a degree paying 20+ an hour.

 

[Acts2:38]

My jobs that is... I made 500, gave my mom 200 put gas in and she's mad bc I didn't pick my brother something up to eat...when I went out and she's mad at me.

I do get him something when he rides with me to when I drop my other brother off at work...

It just makes me mad because its like my mom is evaporating and she doesn't even care... She's sitting up there asking what my brother wants ... Saying, " oh u want that's that's fine ..I don't care" when I'm gonna be paying for it :/

Idk I feel so wrong like I should have gotten my brother something today
And been more inclusive ....

But my brother is 19 capable of working...but idk....I'm so confused...I feel angry because my money is leaving me so fast... I just want to scream and pull my hair out

I should have followed my first mind and not spend my money at all but I was so hungry coming off of work I had to get something... I wish I didn't

Idk do I have a right to be mad? I don't even know at this point ...but I just feel sad because my cousin is able to save her money and had 1,000 in her bank and because her parents are financial idiots ...
Uhg!

Idk... I'm just ready to quit these jobs because its so frustrating my mom keeps raking and taking ....I know she needs the help but Lord!
And its like if I say anything,about how fast my money is going ...I'm the bad guy...

I don't think money is changing me...

Idk I just feel so confused....if i can never save anything what's the point of working? In doing it for my health at this point...

Not to be mean but I didn't have a family...you know?( I didn't have 4 kids) I just wish my dad did his job and kept his job ...I just want to quit...at least when I wasn't working i wasn't this stressed .....

I really want to cry so bad...but around my mom I have to act like nothings wrong...man I just want to disappear.

I feel I'm darned if I do..darned if I don't :/

Am I being selfish? Please just tell me the truth.

I grieve with you on the situation you find yourself in. From the perspective you have given me, you are indeed being taken advantage of. However, you are still under your parents roof. Honor your parents, be the good christian.

Meanwhile, set up a plan for yourself. If you do not like the way things are going, get a rental. If you are considering a second job seriously while still holding down school and other things, then you seem a capable enough person to handle a rental and some bills.

The plan I am speaking of is, for example, an 80-10-10. 80% to bills, food, gas, etc. 10% for yourself whatever money and 10% into savings. You could, of course, vary the percentage to make fit whats best for you. Setting up plans will take you far. Getting rid of luxuries for the good of the future will also go far.

Example: if you buy 1 cup of starbucks coffee every day, on average that would be, lets say, $3.50 each time. In one month you would be spending on this luxury, $105 roughly per month. That's over $1,200 in one year. Cut out the luxuries for the benefit of your future goals. When you make more and are in a better position, then you can get those luxuries back. Eating out twice a week is also very expensive over time. A family of four can easily spend 20-30 dollars at a simple fast food chain. Cut eating out from the budget and eat at home with your purchased groceries. Plates that give you bang for your buck and last 3-7 days like spaghetti or stir-fry (rice/broccoli/chicken/kale/carrots/squash/thick teriyaki sauce).

Let's not kid ourselves, it will be tough. However, you seem a responsible enough person to handle this. Part of being an adult is being obligated to doing things you don't wish to do. Like the military says, "suck it up". Once you have your goal in place and the funds to do it, get your own place and have your own space. In the meantime, be the obedient child, be a good christian, do your "reasonable service". Keep on good terms. Who knows, maybe someone will see your actions and become a christian themselves by witnessing you.

 

[Sketcher]

Why would your mom's reaction tempt you in any way to quit your job? You need money in order to get out from under their roof. You need skills, experience, and a good record (among other things) to get better paying jobs than what you currently have.