I'm Too Weak To Survive In Society! God Save Us!

[Totodile386]

I'm active, I can walk supernatural distances . . . but I hate working for the man 90% of the time. I have basically been fired from Walmart because I'm too weak to keep up with everyone else -- minimum wage Walmart O_O!

I hate working because I'm so weak, but I hate working more because it never agrees with my beliefs -- I'm vegan, but the only place that would hire me at one time was ravenous Wendy's company. I only support pesticide-free and organic foods, but the only place that would save me from Wendy's company was pesticide-ridden Walmart.

When I work, I feel like I'm almost literally building the tombs of my faith because it's just about always working against all in which I believe, brick by brick.
-- I'm vegan, but society has me working for a bloody burger joint; each order filled is a brick on my heart. :')
-- I don't support greedy wicked commercialism, but society has me putting up happy faces on worthless, overpriced products for people to mindlessly consume; each item on the shelf is another brick on my heart. :')
-- I don't support pesticide-grown foods, but society has me stocking pesticide-ridden products on shelves for the masses to mindlessly consume and support; each little box of processed pesticide crap is another brick on my heart. :')

I'd love to work in the house of Elohim; I searched, but not I found anything to do at any church I've seen so far.

Living in society is a curse for me and I know for a fact there are others.

We have pondered just laying down and dying, but I can't bring myself to believe that's the right way. -- Good Lord, just say, "Eat a spoonful of fentanyl," and we will lay down and die for You.

I want nothing more than to move out of parents' household, but if 3 days of work a week is too much for me -- and I got a stupid-easy night guard job where I can literally* sleep the day off (downside is work is like 20 miles away, [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]) -- how will I make it anywhere else? God, save us!

God, Jesus, please save us.

I started a garden, but I'm starting to reluctantly regret it because my seedlings are struggling. It might be the damned damping-off disease which exists everywhere and just murders little seedlings like Amalek.

I have childhood pets to still keep, including but not limited to a turtle, but sometimes I think they just weigh me down although I care for my animals, and it grieves me because I can hardly take care of myself.

I think Elohim has done wonders for me. At one point, I was in danger of starvation, but I managed to get this crazy easy job, although the job is 20 ass miles away from my house and cars keep breaking down for the sake of it.

If Elohim can save us from starvation, who knows what Elohim can do to save us from dying in momma's basement? It might be too soon to call it, but we searched, and not found so far.

I feel helpless and lost in life.

I don't have a single friend that I can visit or hear me out.

I pray day and night; at work, I do nothing but pray at every turn because it's hard. I listen to nothing but Scripture, and in active arrangements according to what my spirit feels. I allocate a part of my desks into altars. I read interlinear Hebrew Bibles and even pretend I can read Hebrew. I openly make displays and words for God before people when I think I won't be embarrassed.
All this, but I still feel like I'm not getting enough God in my life.

I'm reminded of Scripture that says, "The glory of Elohim is made complete in weakness," and, "It is good to wait quietly for the redemption of Yahweh," but this is honestly more how I feel:

"I have planted a little vineyard, but . . . how come when I plant a fig, I reap only thorns? And I sow grapes, but only reap thistles?"

*I don't misuse the word "literally" to mean "figuratively". I do mean literally.

 

[Jude1:3Contendforthefaith]

Maybe you should become an Eastern Orthodox Christian Nun.

The world has nothing for us. The Essenes in ancient Israel were similar to modern day Christian monks and nuns :

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[Jude1:3Contendforthefaith]

I edited my first post.

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[Totodile386]

Maybe you should become a Christian Nun.

The world has nothing for us. The Essenes in ancient Israel were similar to modern day Christian monks and nuns :

.

I asked some monasteries if I could go to them, but they basically said no so far. I should try more, perhaps.

I feel like monasteries in general request something of me that I simply could not sacrifice for them. For instance, I can't leave home for good without my plants and pets, but what monastery could take me up as I am united to my pets and plants?

Also for instance, they always say "Orthodox" or something. I have no royal or religious descent. I was raised some low-income California nobody.

From this line of thought, I did gather one thing they might say, which is, "Do not request of us -- request of Elohim." That I shall process.

I expect not failure in my life, but what really can I expect in my life under Elohim?

 

[AgapeBible]

I am so sorry that you have suffered so much in your life. I'd like to give you a hug. I admire your strict discipline with your diet. It is not easy to be vegan. The world shoves cheeseburgers, bacon, ice cream and pies in our faces. Even the so-called healthy diet stuff still advertises bad food that is supposedly a 'healthy' version of the unhealthy fattening cholesterol and sugary stuff.

Love is the answer. Love God and love yourself. Love the mean people who hurt you. Love your enemies. Maybe you could work in a vegan restaurant or a vegetarian health food store, a garden store or park, nature preserve, zoo, some thing that fits what you like and are passionate about. Go to different churches, see what they are like. It might be uncomfortable to ask for help, but if you need it, go ahead and ask. If you live with your parents help them out with household chores. Maybe you could work at a Christian place like a Christian book store or a Christian charity. Perhaps you could work at a job you don't like for a while and save some money then look for your dream job. I pray the Lord will be kind and gracious to you and provide for you. May He bless you and give you the desires of your heart!